Chapter 25
25
DAISY
I can’t think at all. I can’t think of how I betrayed and hurt the man I love. I can’t think of how I’m going to make any of this right. All I know is that Liam has to be okay, has to get through this and back home to me. I can’t exist without my little boy, and nothing else seems to matter at all.
I hear them talking, Benny and Mrs. Cappelli.
“I don’t hold with him going against the family,” she says, her voice rueful. “He’s always been stubborn, but I didn’t think he’d go this far.”
“I know you don’t condone it, Mrs. Capelli. I apologize for having to involve you and coming into your home.”
“You’re always welcome here, you know that,” she says to him.
I look back and forth between them and know there’s more being said than I can understand. I can’t read the subtext, but I know this is something bigger than the grief of a parent over her son’s bad choices.
“You’ll be provided for,” Ben says to her. “And I’ll see that you get a chance to speak with him in private.”
“Thank you. That’s kind of you,” she says, still calm and stoic.
I get it now. My son will be safe in my arms. Her son will walk out of here and never be seen again. He has to pay for his crimes, and there’s no pleading for his life, no chance for mercy here.
“You have a beautiful boy,” Mrs. Capelli says to me, “and he was being very brave on the call.”
“Thank you,” I manage, not sure how to take a compliment about my child’s demeanor when kidnapped. I decide to take it in good faith because she seems like a kind person caught in a shitty situation.
“He’ll bring the little boy here. It’s going to be okay. The gambit failed—as it should. Desperate and stupid,” she says with a shake of her head, as if she thinks her son screwed up the spelling bee instead of murdering and kidnapping his way across town.
All the while, Benny is beside me, a solid presence, his arm around me. I know there’s going to be hell to pay for what I’ve done. I can’t bring myself to care at the moment. First of all, much like Grigo, I’ve brought this on myself. Secondly, as long as Liam is safe and back in my arms, nothing else matters.
Benny can yell at me and hate me and demand legal rights. This is my penance, just like telling my son the truth is going to be my penance. I kept him from a father who would have loved and protected him because I was young and scared. Losing Benny for good is the price I will pay. I deserve it. The only thing I can do now is pray, tell the truth and endure. Everything I should have done to begin with.
The timer is at two minutes when the doorbell rings. Mrs. Cappelli glances at her phone, the doorbell camera app. “They’re here.” She says. We jump to our feet and follow her to the door.
“Mommy!” Liam cries and runs to me. I fall to my knees and he crashes into me. I hug him tight, weeping with gratitude.
“I’ve got you. I’ve got you. You’re okay. I’ve got you,” I tell him. “I love you. Mommy loves you. You’re safe now.”
People are talking, mostly in low voices besides the strident tones of the thwarted kidnapper.
A hand under my arm helps me to my feet. I pick Liam up and carry him, his legs and arms around me like someone will snatch him away again. We are ushered out, put in a car. I buckle Liam’s seat belt and whisper to him, promising him he is safe and going home now as we are whisked away from that place.
Benny has stayed behind to tie up loose ends as he would say. I didn’t thank him, didn’t say a word. I’ll deal with that tomorrow. Tonight, I’m taking my son home and letting my mom know he’s safe. I’ll make him dinner, give him a bath, and he can fall asleep on my lap. I’ll hold him all night, reminding myself he’s home.
I still have Mrs. Cappelli’s rosary clutching in my hand when I get to my mom’s. She comes out and embraces us both. Liam complains that we are smushing him and we laugh through our tears.
Once Liam is asleep, I try to tell my mom briefly what happened.
“It doesn’t matter how he did it,” she says simply. “When I called him, I wanted my grandson back. I don’t care if he won a game of rock paper scissors or shot up city hall.”
I nod because I feel the same way. I can act as self-righteous as I want until it comes to the safety of my child. Then any integrity and lawfulness goes out the window and I don’t care if they take prisoners.
“This is what I was scared of all along. It was why I took off. Because I knew a child would never be safe in this life. And everything I put you through and everything you missed out on and Benny never even knowing about Liam, all of it was for nothing. I thought I could control everything, keep him safe that way. But we were always vulnerable, we were in danger and I was just pretending we weren’t.”
“Your son was walking around all this time with that face and you were convinced it was a big secret,” my mom says, “but you know how stubborn you are.”
“Yeah,” I say miserably. “I’m sorry. Tomorrow I’m going to talk to Benny. Or listen to him yell at me and tell me what a horrible person I am.”
“It’s time to grow up, baby. You’ve got to face the music.”