Chapter 7 #2
He arched an eyebrow. “His human half won’t understand the words for a while yet. However, I think his inner beast is listening. I’d rather help increase his vocabulary.”
“You keep mentioning how you think inner dragons understand language sooner. Where did that idea come from? Knowing you, it’s based on something tangible.”
He turned toward the door. “I’ll explain whilst we clean them up.”
Once Grace had Eli on the changing table, Trahern spoke up again.
“There is a young female dragon-shifter on Clan Lochguard, in Scotland, who has been able to shift into a dragon from a young age, under a year. To shift means you must be able to communicate with your dragon. And the female, Freya Stewart, has continued shifting back and forth for years now. Her parents have let me talk with her, but I haven’t been able to get a definitive answer.
Maybe when she’s a few years older, her inner dragon can tell me how she could shift so young. ”
“Wait, I thought dragon-shifters couldn’t change forms until after six years old or so.”
“Normally, yes. That is when they finally emerge from the labyrinth inside a dragon-shifter’s mind and have enough courage to start talking. Sometimes it’s a little sooner, or a little later. Sometimes, they go silent for self-preservation.”
Once Eli was changed and in a new set of clothes, she picked him up and turned toward Trahern. “Yours was quieter before, but not as much now. Why?”
As he fidgeted with Eddie’s snaps on his onesie, Grace wondered if she’d gone too far.
However, Trahern murmured, “It’s complicated,” before picking up Eddie and rushing into the living room.
As soon as Trahern fled the bedroom, his beast growled. Why are you still running and hiding from her?
He ignored his beast and focused on spreading a blanket on the floor and laying Eddie on the ground.
He’d read a few articles about what to do, and so he helped Eddie clap his hands, and then moved his feet, all while reciting some of his favorite theorems. Grace sat on the sofa, Eli leaning his back against her front as she shook a rattle toy.
After a while, Grace finally spoke. “The boys can have some tummy time whilst you tell me why things are complicated with your dragon.”
“Why?”
She moved to the floor before placing Eli next to his brother, on his stomach.
She replied softly, “I know very little about dragon-shifters, Trahern. I need to learn as much as possible, so I can be there for my sons if they need me. What if they have trouble talking with their inner dragons? Or what if their beasts never come out at all? Or maybe the boys are afraid of suddenly having a second personality inside their heads?”
Glancing over, he saw Grace wringing her hands as she stared at her twins.
His dragon spoke up. I don’t like her being upset.
He didn’t, either. He almost wanted to reach out to her and soothe her.
Not that he really knew how. But he’d seen that with mates or parents with children at the clinic.
Instead, he looked at Eddie and Eli as he replied, “Most dragon-shifters get along with their inner beasts after a few weeks or maybe months.”
After a beat, Grace stated, “But not you.”
He shook his head. “My father kept me isolated from a young age, when he realized I didn’t smile or laugh like most other children.
Well, maybe once in a great, great while.
But he already resented me for killing my mother, and so he said the deficiency was a good reason to keep me hidden.
He told everyone I couldn’t handle being around people and that I needed quiet spaces. Which, in part, was true. But…”
He trailed off, struggling to push down the memories of learning about a new medicinal plant he wanted to see. How he’d tried to escape and visit the clan’s medicinal garden. But his father had caught him and installed a lock on his door.
On the outside of his door.
His dragon spoke up. Telling her will help.
Why?
If she is to be our mate, she needs to understand us. Only then will you eventually accept her.
Before he could reply, Grace’s voice snapped him out of his head. “But what?”
At first, he debated sharing more. Grace had been sobbing uncontrollably only the day before.
Yet, as he glanced at her, she stared at him and raised her brows. Then, after a few seconds, she touched his arm. “Tell me, Trahern. Please.”
His self-preservation kicked in before he could stop it—which meant deflecting. “It’s nothing compared to what you must’ve endured in the prison.”
“Just because we have different kinds of painful memories doesn’t mean yours aren’t valid, too.”
Moving his gaze to where her hand touched him, something shifted inside him. Almost as if he didn’t want to hide from her.
His dragon spoke up. Good. Then tell her.
Eventually, he cleared his throat and watched the twins again as he said, “When I was a boy, I fell in love with science, specifically medicine and botany.” He paused, but then her hand squeezed his arm, and he let out a breath before continuing, “Whilst reading, I discovered a plant that sometimes helped dragon-shifters with anxiety, both with others and with their own inner dragons.
I struggled to connect to my beast in the beginning, and I thought maybe, just maybe, this plant might help.
Not only could I be more normal, but maybe my father would start treating me like the other boys and girls in my class.
“Snowridge, much like Stonefire, has a medicinal garden. I wanted to see if they had the exact plant and snuck out when my father was out. However, he returned just as I was leaving, and he was furious. My father didn’t want others to see his embarrassment, and with my escape attempt, he could no longer trust me to stay put.
So, he put a lock on the outside of my door.
I spent the next few years alone in my room, apart from school and required clan-wide events. ”
“Oh, Trahern.”
He ignored her soft voice and forced himself to state, “I will never be like him, Grace. I vow it. So even if the boys have trouble with their inner dragons, I will try to help them, in my own way. But I will never call them odd or useless or an embarrassment.”
For a few beats, he merely watched the twins squirm on the ground. Then Grace’s tight voice demanded, “Is your father still alive? Because I’m tempted to hire someone to find him and lock him in a room for a while to see how it feels.”
Her tone was different from its usual lyrical rhythm, so he glanced at her. Grace’s narrowed eyes and clenched fists meant she was angry. Probably.
Why, he couldn’t fathom. However, he replied, “I don’t know. Once he left Snowridge, I never saw him again.”
She crossed her arms over her chest. “Well, maybe I’ll ask Jane or Ivy to ask their mates to look into it. Did no one think to intervene back in Wales?”
He looked back at the boys, who were trying to lift their heads but not getting far, due to their weak neck muscles.
“There was a different clan leader back then, before Rhydian. All he cared about was keeping Snowridge isolated and free of humans. He believed parents should treat their children how they like, as long as they didn’t kill or permanently maim them. ”
“That’s horrible.”
Grace immediately picked up the son closest to her, Eli, and held him close. She murmured, “Mummy loves you, both of you. No matter what happens, never doubt that.”
Eddie made a noise of frustration. Not that Trahern blamed him, considering it was hard work to lift a head at his age.
So he lifted the boy and cradled him in his arms. Eddie blinked at him and fisted Trahern’s shirt. “His grip is stronger than average. That’s good.”
“Trahern.”
“Yes?”
“You would never lock the boys in a room like that, would you?”
Something that was almost like pain pierced his heart, which didn’t make sense. Nothing was inserted there.
Frowning, he ignored the feeling and replied, “No. I would never lock them in a room and ignore them. I may sometimes get hyper-focused on a task and need to be called several times to get my attention. But it’s not deliberate. I have trouble stopping something partway.”
Grace laid a hand on his arm again, and some of the pain faded. She whispered, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked you that.”
“Of course you should have. You actually care for your children and want them to be safe. And as you pointed out previously, I ran and hid for weeks.”
She squeezed his arm before drawing her hand away.
Part of him wanted to grab it and bring it back.
However, before he could think why, Grace stood. “Do you have to work at the clinic today?”
He also stood. “No. Sid gave me a few days off to ensure you recovered. Do you need another nap?”
After glancing at her, Grace shook her head. “No. But I think we all need a little break from the house and could use a good walk.”
“To where?”
She searched his gaze. “That depends. Are you okay with being around a lot of people?”
“I don’t seek out large groups. However, I previously stopped by the clan restaurant every day. Short periods of time are fine.”
“Well, in that case, there are two shops I want to go to today. If that’s okay?”
“Anything you need, Grace. You’re mine to take care of.”
He nearly blinked. That didn’t sound like him.
His dragon spoke up. She is ours to care for, along with the twins.
Grace’s voice was so soft that if he didn’t have supersensitive hearing, he would’ve missed it as she murmured, “And mine to take care of, too. Today I start.”
However, before he could ask for clarifications, Grace directed him to a whirlwind of activities.
In sixty-seven minutes, they were all dressed, and the boys were tucked into their double-pram.
As soon as Trahern locked the front door, he turned around and blinked at Grace’s smile.
With the sun glinting off her black hair and caressing the dark brown planes of her face, she seemed unreal.
If he believed in mythical creatures, he might say she looked like an angel.
He almost frowned at that. What was wrong with him? He wasn’t fanciful.
His dragon spoke up. She is beautiful. It’s okay to say and admit it.
Since doing so might lead to desire again, he ignored his beast and cleared his throat. “Let’s begin our walk.”
And as he pushed the pram, he silently counted his steps, hoping to clear his confusion and the impulse to take Grace’s hand in his.