Chapter 18
Chapter Eighteen
Grace sat next to Trahern’s bed with Eli in her arms as she fed him some supplemental formula.
She’d been here for hours and had gone through so many emotions—fear, sadness, outrage, desperation, and determination.
The latter had kicked in as soon as Trina had brought the twins into the room. Both Eddie and Eli had reached their arms toward Trahern’s bed, clearly recognizing their father and wanting to say hello.
She’d gently let the boys touch his hand before one had started to fuss, and then the other, signaling they were hungry.
Eddie had fallen asleep after eating. However, even once Eli was full and burped, he still babbled and snuggled against her, as if knowing she needed the support.
Cuddling her son close, she slowly moved to sit on the bed beside Trahern and traced his cheek. His face was mostly unscathed, apart from a few scratches, and the doctors had said it was okay to touch his hands or face.
But as she did it, Eli waved an arm toward hers, wanting to do the same.
Trahern had only become comfortable with the boys touching his face in the last week or so before he’d left. The memory of Eddie grabbing his nose and squeezing still made Grace smile.
She said softly to her son, so as not to wake up his twin, “You have to be gentle, Eli. Can you do that? Yes? Okay. But only with Mummy’s help.”
She rearranged her grip and lifted her son until she could take his hand with her free one and guided it to Trahern’s cheek.
Eli patted it gently, and she said, “Yes, we’re waiting for Daddy to wake up.
He was hurt pretty badly, but he knows we’re here.
And we just need to keep telling him to wake up. ”
More baby babble.
“Yes, I’m sure he’ll show you his dragon again once he’s healed. But no, you can’t slide down the dragon’s side until you’re older. You can’t even crawl yet!”
She swore Eli looked peeved, but she dismissed it. Grace doubted he truly understood her, no matter Trahern’s theories about inner dragons learning language in the womb.
Eli grunted in frustration, wanting to tug Trahern’s hair, so she pulled him back and blew against his neck.
Her son squealed, and she did it again before saying, “How about I tell you another of Daisy’s stories?
Even if some of them aren’t quite finished, we have fun making up our own endings, don’t we?
Let’s see. How about the one with the dragon girl who watches all of her friends start talking with their inner dragons and hers hasn’t yet? ”
And as she told the tale of the girl feeling like an outcast, wondering what was wrong with her, until she finds out she has two inner dragons—Grace didn’t know if that was even possible—Eli settled and his eyelids drooped.
All the while she eyed Trahern, willing him to wake up and join in. Maybe to lecture about how impossible it was to have two inner dragons. Or if it were possible, then about how difficult it would be to manage and keep three personalities in harmony in one brain.
Or any other scientific interpretation of a children’s story.
She missed his literalness. Sometimes it was irritating, but sometimes it helped her learn something about dragon-shifters she never would’ve thought to ask.
Oh, Trahern. Please wake up.
Not that she let her worry show. If her sons picked up on it, Trahern might too.
Trahern and his dragon stopped often to rest.
The network of tunnels and open spaces inside this pocket of his mind was both fascinating and never-ending.
Not for the first time, he marveled at how young dragons could navigate their way out. Yes, his dragon had said he’d used Trahern’s inner voice to find him. But it still took a lot of intelligence and stubbornness to accomplish.
Even with Grace’s voice filtering through often, there were times when it stopped and he and his beast had to rest.
Now was one of those times, and Trahern relaxed on his dragon’s back and hated how tired he was. He was a mental figure, and yet he still experienced exhaustion.
His dragon snorted. It’s funny you still wonder about that. We’ve always been mental projections inside our minds. This is no different.
I didn’t understand how deep it went.
At least you can use this for your research.
Since Grace’s voice hadn’t returned, he asked his beast, You never answered my question about before you exited the tunnels, found me, and we talked. Did you understand English earlier than me?
I don’t remember. That was a long time ago.
While it wasn’t the answer he’d been hoping for, Trahern didn’t let it deter him. He spent an untold amount of time devising new hypotheses and tests for when he was well again. It helped distract him from the constant yearning for Grace’s voice.
Eventually it returned, along with some faint sounds of one of the boys.
His dragon stood, and they started in the same direction they’d been going for a while, sometimes entering pitch-black areas where his beast relied on instinct to guide them through turns and crevices.
Once they exited into another bright part, he blinked. There was a small lake surrounded by trees. And a fake-looking sky was above, one that was utterly still and silent.
Despite the bright light, it was eerie.
He asked, Where is this?
His dragon replied, This is the exit, where we can return to the main part of your mind.
How? Tall cliffs surround the lake.
We leave by going through the water.
He blinked. Pardon?
It’s a test of determination, of how much you want to be united with your human half.
Pushing aside his skepticism, he said, Show me what to do.
His dragon walked to the lake’s shore, and then onto the smooth surface. Although it wasn’t really water—it was solid and held their weight.
Trahern asked, What is this place? Can you give me any more details?
This is the barrier between the two areas of your mind. Usually, the human half is unaware of its existence. So it’s strange you’re here, for sure.
He tucked that information away for later. So how do we go through since it’s solid under our feet? Is there a ritual or multistep process?
Not a ritual, but more you need to have the determination to want to go through it. And before you ask, I had your voice to guide me through as a child.
But not now. Was that the only way you were able to get through? By using a voice guide?
His dragon grunted. I think so. It was only when I got so lonely on this side that I finally tried to break through the lake. Eventually, I found myself on the other side.
Trahern had never really thought about how solitary it must be for inner dragons as a child. Even if he’d been alone most of the time as a kid, he’d had the options of books or TV or going to school.
His inner beast hadn’t.
Maybe there was a way he could help young dragons break through earlier. However, to do that, he needed to get out of here and wake up again. So, do you have an idea of how to pass through the lake? Can I even exit it?
You have to. Somehow, some way, we need to reach Grace and Eddie and Eli.
A flash of Grace’s brilliant smile, as the sun danced off her glossy black hair, sent a rush of longing through him. Even more so as she waved Eddie and Eli’s little hands at him in farewell, as she often did when he left for work in the morning.
His chest ached, almost as if he were missing something. Which was ridiculous as he was a mental projection.
After sighing, his beast spoke up again. It’s your love for Grace and our sons. Whilst it may be mental, technically, it can affect your body’s responses.
As he tried to digest this—his friend Emily had tried to explain that to him once, but he’d been unable to accept it at the time—a voice rough from overuse filtered through.
Trahern, if you can hear me, open your eyes. Each passing day makes the doctors worry. They try to hide it, but I can tell. Even the boys are fussier than normal, probably trying to figure out why you never move.
The catch in her voice shot straight to Trahern’s heart. He said to his beast, Let’s try passing through the barrier. I can’t bear Grace’s sadness. I just can’t.
His dragon grunted. Right, then let’s give it a go.
As they stood on the mirror-like lake, Trahern focused on the feeling in his chest—the sense of tightness and emptiness, and how much he wanted to hold Grace in his arms before playing with the boys again.
At first, nothing happened. The surface remained firm. But the more he accepted how much Grace meant to him, how much he believed he loved her—he still wasn’t sure if that’s what this all meant—the surface softened slightly.
Slightly, but still not enough.
Then Grace’s voice finally stopped, replaced with crying, and a sense of urgency rushed through him. Trahern focused on Grace and Eddie and Eli. He couldn’t let them suffer. He needed them too, and wanted to be a better male. For them.
And for himself.
For his dragon.
His beast hummed and glowed faintly as they started to sink through the glass lake.
Don’t panic, his dragon said right before they disappeared under the surface and returned to darkness.