Ten
Raina
I awoke to the warm glow of sunlight filtering through the curtains, casting patterns on the plush carpet. My body felt weak, every muscle protesting as I slowly shifted in the soft sheets, trying to make sense of my surroundings.
This wasn't any room I'd ever called mine, but it was familiar. I was back at Thornewood Castle.
As my eyes adjusted to the light, I noticed Liam asleep in a chair beside the bed. He was leaning back, arms crossed, with his chin touching his chest. Wavy locks of hair fell across his forehead.
A fleeting hint of nostalgia made my chest throb. For a heartbeat, I forgot how much he hated me.
I was having a hard time understanding why he'd come for me. I assumed he must have been sent by Aeryn. Regardless, he'd risked his life to save mine and I owed him for it.
I then noticed the dark dried stain on his pectoral, where the small dagger had been embedded. He'd done his job, so why hadn't he gone to clean up? Why was he here beside me?
Wanting to be upright, I attempted to sit up. Pain shot through my body like lightning, and I winced, collapsing back onto the pillows.
Liam jerked awake and he quickly stood, concern etched on his face.
"Easy there," he said gently, placing a hand on my shoulder to keep me from trying to move again. "Sage said you shouldn't move around much yet."
I stared at him, confused and slightly resentful. Why did he have to be so infuriatingly caring now?
"Thank you," I said hoarsely, averting my eyes from his intense gaze. "For ... just, thank you."
Liam continued staring, then nodded. "You should go back to sleep."
Apparently, a you're welcome was too much for him to muster. And here I thought things couldn't be more awkward between us.
Unable–and unwilling–to keep my eyes open while he stood over me, I relaxed and drifted back to sleep. Liam might not be my biggest fan, but he wasn't going to harm me. Not physically, at least.
The next time I awoke, Liam was gone. In his place sat Saxon. His colossal canine sat on his haunches staring at his master.
"Seriously, Fermac, you cannot steal food from the kitchens whenever you're hungry," Saxon chided. "You scared the staff half to death by sneaking up like that."
Fermac huffed.
"Also, you'd already been fed. Is it your desire to be too fat to be of use?"
Fermac's champagne eyes flicking towards the ceiling before looking away, feigning disinterest.
The door swung open and Lorne entered, his wide body filling up my vision. Emotion, primarily relief, struck so fast I shook with it.
I pushed myself up to sit, finding it much easier this time around. "Lorne," I said softly, reaching out my hand, not knowing what else to do.
Instead of taking it, he sat at my hip and gently folded me into his big frame and the shaking subsided. It had been so long since anyone from my old life showed me any true affection.
"I'm sorry I left you," he murmured into my hair, his voice thick with emotion.
"Don't apologize for that. I told you to go."
"I’m still sorry."
Saxon tsked. "There's no guilt to be had here, Lorne. If you had not returned to Nox with those arrows in your back, you'd likely have died there and we might not have ever found Raina. You did the right thing. Both of you."
Lorne released me from his arms and inspected the bruising that was surely covering my face and neck. It was on my arms, too, but those I could see. Guilt, thick and cumbersome, coated his face.
Before he could lower himself deeper into his self-recrimination, I covered his mouth with my palm. V's formed between his eyes and he quickly looked like his old self.
"Most of these are from fists. And a few kicks. Maybe two blades. Three at most. Nothing life-threatening. Nothing I haven't experienced in combat training."
"Nothing?" Saxon checked, hovering beside Lorne.
Both of them were looking at me as though I was about to break. It pissed me off.
"Nothing," I stressed pointedly. "Not that it's any of your business, son of Lugh."
Saxon's lips tilted and he lifted his palms, stepping backward. "Message received."
Lorne patted my head, like I was a puppy. It was odd, yet made me smile.
"Saxon and I have a meeting with Nox," Lorne informed me, rising to his feet, "but we'll be back later. I'm sure Nox will have questions but he knows not to irritate our sister. Sage told him to leave you alone until she gives him the go ahead."
I was beginning to see why Aeryn was so fond of the healer.
Saxon winked and followed Lorne out the door. With no visitors, I didn't feel the need to stay awake.
I'd just gotten comfortable when Sage came in carrying a tray laden with poultices, bandages, corked vials, and a steaming bowl of something that smelled wonderful.
The healer gifted me with a kind smile as she set the tray down on the bedside table. "How's the pain," she asked gently.
"Not terrible."
"Hmm. That says a lot about the pain you must have been in before they brought you back. Since I'm supposed to be a halfway decent healer, let's see if we can get you to be better than not terrible."
I nodded, appreciating Sage's bedside manner. Then my stomach growled so loud I was sure the entire castle heard it. We both laughed.
"I brought you some broth. There's water already poured in this glass next to the pitcher. Why don't you take a few sips while I start with your feet and work my way up?"
Sage handed me the glass and set to tending my wounds. Her touch was feather-light, and her healing magic enveloped me like a warm embrace.
I felt more of the pain ebbing away, replaced by an odd sensation of comfort and safety. And drowsiness.
"Thank you, Sage," I replied, my voice barely a whisper.
"Raina, you're healing, but you still need to rest. The prolonged exposure to iron zapped you and has slowed your healing. I think in a couple of hours your healing ability will be almost back to normal," she reassured.
I mumbled an acknowledgement and yawned.
"I know you'd like to fall back asleep, but I want to get some broth and more medicine into you first."
Sage basically force fed me from the hot bowl as though I were incapable of doing it myself. Then she poured vials of medicines and tonics down my throat.
I didn't remember what was in them, and I definitely didn't remember falling asleep again. Whatever they were, they worked because I awoke refreshed with only mild stiffness.
Needing fuel, I ate what had been left on the bedside table and then cleaned up in the bathroom. It took more energy than I anticipated, but I still felt good.
When I exited the bathroom, Nox and Aeryn were sitting at the small table on the far side of the room. Their sudden presence in the room made me tense up inadvertently.
Aeryn came at me fast and pulled me into a bear hug. I would have returned it but she had my arms pinned down.
"Kitten, I'm not sure Raina can breathe."
"Shit!" Aeryn let go immediately.
I laughed. "I'm fine. Truly."
My friend looked like she wanted to argue but didn't. She grabbed my hand and led me over to the table. As we sat, the mood turned serious.
Nox was the first to speak. "As I said I would, I went to Snowfall."
It appeared we were getting straight to business, which was more than fine by me. I didn’t like being fawned over, anyway.
When Nox had originally told me he was going to search the manor, I'd told him to burn it. I neither wanted nor needed the estate.
"You found something," I stated.
Nox relayed the events of that night. He told me nothing there was alive, that there was a pit with burned bodies, some of which were younglings.
I thought I'd been growing numb to the abhorrent deeds my parents had a hand in, the evil fae they were associating with. I was wrong.
Their and their cronies’ crimes kept proving more and more abhorrent.
My hand covered my mouth and I felt a swell of vertigo. I had to fight to keep down what I'd ingested.
Nox finished his tale with rushing Lorne back to Thornewood and Liam showing up, seeing and recognizing the arrows.
"He ignored Nox and left immediately to find you," Aeryn added.
I struggled to process this information. Why would Liam have rushed to my aid after treating me so coldly for so long, especially after what he’d accused me of during the bride trials?
My heart clenched with a mix of gratitude and confusion.
Nox leaned forward. "Raina, I need you to tell me all of it. Every detail you remember from the night they came for you at the cottage until Liam and Saxon brought you back."
While Aeryn got up and poured me a drink, I recounted my ordeal. It wasn't much to go on, but each piece was part of a bigger picture.
"Do you think there are more?" he asked.
"More what?"
"Conspirators."
I took a drink, expecting water and coughed at the burn flowing down into my stomach. I looked at Aeryn who winked at me.
Inhaling first to clear my head, I looked my king in the eye. "Yes, I believe there are more. Llew, Tabor, and Vance weren't the brains behind anything. Whoever is, they won't be getting their hands dirty like that. Considering they had to hire the Vendeca, their numbers are either low or they're just trying to ensure no one has any grasp on their size and influence."
"What about those obligated to sell you off?" Aeryn asked.
"More? If so, it's a very small number, if any at all. It's an asinine thing to agree to. I'm surprised anyone bothered with it. I'm no one."
Nox tapped his fingers. "You're valuable. If they were so desperate to agree to a magical contract, they were going to get a lot for you. It seems they already had a buyer which means they had a number. I assume it would be to further fund their efforts."
"Then why not sell me directly? Why go through the effort it took to get me to Dusthaven?"
"It would be harder to trace the sale. By the way, I have plans to deal with that shithole city."
"Nox, it's not part of your kingdom," I countered.
"No, but you are."
His adamancy surprised me and I was left speechless. Luckily, I was saved by Mirrelle and Astrid knocking on the door.
Nox bowed and said, "I'll leave so you four may catch up."
Aeryn, Mirrelle, and Astrid all ganged up on me, insisting I remain at Thornewood where they could protect me. It warmed my heart to know I had friends who cared so deeply.
It also flustered me that they had trouble listening to reason. "I'm not talking about it further, not today, got it?"
They exchanged glances but dropped it.
"Alright, then let's talk about Liam," Mirrelle prompted, her voice firm yet gentle.
I'd been waiting for them to bring him up. "What about him?"
Mirrelle scoffed. "How about the fact he's been nothing but an asshole to you for too long?"
"He's usually quite agreeable with others, but since the trials he's become unbearable. To everyone," Astrid chimed in.
"Exactly," Aeryn agreed. "But you should have seen him when Lorne said you'd been taken, Raina. Nox is his king and he didn't listen at all, he just portaled away to find you."
I sighed, my gaze drifting towards the window as I contemplated their words. It was true. Liam had treated me with scorn and ridicule, so acridly it felt like hate.
Then he saved me. And not, as I'd learned, on anyone's order. In fact, he ignored a command not to come after me.
Mirrelle lowered the rim of her glass from her lips. "The asshole is still in love with you."
"I highly doubt it, but it doesn't matter," I admitted quietly, my voice wavering. "There's too much hurt between us. Even if there weren't, I'm not sure I could open myself up to the possibility."
"Personally," Mirrelle popped a grape into her mouth, pausing. "I think you hurt his pride and that's the root of it. He needs a kick in the ass, maybe a concussion or two, to pound some sense into him."
I managed a sad smile at the blood fae's take. Mirrelle always had a unique way of putting things, along with an acute flare for violence.
"Raina," Aeryn said softly, placing a comforting hand on my arm. "We're here, no matter what."
I suspected I’d keep hearing such declarations until she trusted that I actually believed it. It wasn’t that I didn’t believe her. Trust was simply hard for me to embrace. At least I was getting better at it.
Mirrelle put her hand atop Aeryn's, who then nudged Astrid. The light fae added a palm and then stated, "I don't understand this pile of hands, but I do understand how to use a blade. If you need me to cut someone, I'm here for you."
Everyone but Astrid laughed. The sunset-haired female was serious and it made me laugh harder.
As my friends continued with their antics, staying until just after dinner, I felt lighter. The only one missing was Sofiya, but Aeryn had assured me she was safe. Though, she was oddly tight-lipped about it so I didn’t pry. Her certainty was enough.
When night fully fell over Thornewood, I was sitting near the window opposite the bed, taking in the shadows stretching across the grounds. The darkness seemed to seep into my very soul, amplifying my fears and doubts.
I wished I could turn off my emotions, even if only for a single night of peace.
A soft knock came, pulling me from my ruminations. I'd had several visitors, but I didn't mind more. Being alone was no longer as preferable as it used to be.
"Come in."
The door slowly creaked open and Liam stepped into the room, closing the door and joining me at the small table. My mind blanked and all I could see was him.
"I brought you something," he said.
Liam placed a small object on the table in front of me. The item wasn't one I'd ever expected to see in his possession again. The last time I'd seen him hold it, he'd thrown it at me.
The last time I’d held it, I’d set it on my nightstand. In Greenhollow.
"Why do you have this?" I asked, my fingers trembling as I traced the worn edges.
Liam hesitated, then replied, "Why did you bother keeping it?"
I shook my head sadly, unable to find the words to explain. In truth, I didn't even fully understand.
I only knew I'd added the green sallow and wormwood in a moment of despair, but I'd kept it close, always where I could see it in times I was alone. Which had been often.
I could have thrown it away or burned it. Instead I slept next to the thing. It was quite pathetic, really.
"I don't have an answer for that," I finally stated, sliding the box away so it wouldn't be between us. "I assume that's not the only reason you’re here."
Liam cleared his throat. "I know things have been ... difficult. But I want you to know that, no matter my feelings, I would never let something like what your parents planned for you actually become your fate. No one deserves to be treated like chattel, to be subjected to such depravities."
His sincerity tore through the scar tissue covering my heart. I hated it. Hated that I craved it as much as I feared it.
"Okay," I got out after a quick inhale, my heart pounding wildly in my chest.
The oxygen was sucked out of the room as Liam's gaze held mine, and a silence stretched between us. It felt like we were teetering on the edge of something.
"I also think I should tell you that I no longer think you were involved in the plot to kill Nox. Or his father."
I blinked in surprise, my chest tightening with emotion. His words, so unexpected and yet so desperately wanted, felt like a balm to the wounds that had festered for so long.
A part of me would always be bothered by the fact he'd thought such a thing in the first place, bothered me more than his fucking his way through other females. However, I wasn't the kind of fae to throw words back at someone who had difficulty admitting fault.
"That means ... well, it means more to me than you know."
He nodded solemnly before shifting gears, his face taking on a determined expression. "Unfortunately, there are still some out there who want to use you for their own ends. We need to keep you and the royal family safe—and that means getting you away from Thornewood."
The berserker was back in protective soldier mode.
"Where do you suggest I go?" I asked warily, considering the implications of what he was saying.
"Ephandor.”
My spine straightened. "Ephandor?"
"My family can provide ample protection. Ephandor is secluded and far enough away that it'll be harder for them to find you. It's highly unlikely anyone would think to look for you there, anyway."
"They might if they know you're the one who rescued me."
"Anyone who knows who I am would know I'm close with Nox. Aeryn is his mate and you're her friend. Lorne couldn't search for you, so I'd be the next logical choice in terms of trust and ability to do the job."
It felt like he was trying to play off his involvement as the royal couple's doing and not his. Deep down, I supposed it could have been what drove him.
"Also, I've shown no fondness or favoritism towards you, the daughter of the opportunists who bought their way out of a contract to better her chances of getting on the throne, all the while plotting against–"
"I'm aware and I don't need the reminder," I snapped.
"The point is, Raina," he said my name like an insult, "the Duersian Clan would never allow someone with that stigma, with that level of duplicitousness, into the fold. It's a good place to hide out."
"Ouch," I huffed sarcastically. "That's not a very compelling case for me to go, now is it?"
Liam crossed his arms. "You have to go somewhere because you cannot stay here."
The thought of going to Ephandor, to Liam's homeland, to be around his family, filled me with more than just dread.
It had been years since I'd seen them, and while my parents had actually broken our betrothal, his family hadn't hesitated to accept the payment that came with it.
I wondered if they blamed me for the decision. Liam certainly had.
I wasn't a coward but to face Brahm, the Gatekeeper of Stirroghar Crossing? The Drótinn of Ephandor? The gruff warrior who still held onto some of the clan's most brutal customs?
And facing his mother? Otsonna was just as stern as her husband yet her soft spot was her sons. One of which I’d seemingly wronged in their eyes, I was sure.
Brahm would sniff out any weaknesses I possessed and seize the opportunity to use them against me. He had no tolerance for weakness. But Otsonna would go for the jugular.
Instead of sharing this timidity aloud, I asked, "Are you sure this is the best option? What if someone actually does figure out I'm there?"
"Raina," Liam said firmly, his gaze unwavering, "I will do everything in my power to ensure your safety."
His words were like a lifeline, but he'd misunderstood mine. "It's not my safety I'm worried about."
He lifted a single eyebrow. "Are you actually concerned that the clan can't handle whatever is thrown at them? They live for this shit."
"No, Liam. They love a good fight, and they may enjoy picking off their enemies, but they certainly do not live for my shit. In particular."
Understanding donned across his face. "I may have left the clan to find my own path, but I am still Liam Duersi, beloved son of Brahm and Otsonna. My fight is theirs."
"Liam–"
"And your fight, this time, is also mine. Those who threaten you also threaten Nox. They already killed his father. This isn't only about you, Raina."
For that, I had no retort. In fact, I felt horrid.
I swallowed hard, forcing down the lump that had formed in my throat. "Do they hate me?"
He opened his mouth and I quickly recovered, horrified the question had escaped my mouth.
"No! Do not answer that!” I rapidly fired out. “I don't want to know. Just promise me your mother won’t try to remove my spleen or hold me prisoner. I won't be forced to stay there indefinitely."
"You won't be a prisoner in Ephandor. Once the danger is over, you'll be free to leave. Besides, Mother will be in the Otherland for another two weeks. You might not see her at all."
My fingertips rubbed my temples. I felt a headache coming on, this time from tension.
"Raina," Liam's voice cut through my thoughts, his red-brown eyes searching mine. "I know this isn't easy for you, but leaving Thornewood is the best way to keep everyone safe."
"Are you being nice to me just to make sure I'll go to Ephandor?" I blurted, hating myself more and more the longer this conversation went on.
You're weak, Raina!
He slanted his head. "Why else would I be showing you such kindness?"
My cheeks burned, and I looked away, feeling foolish for even considering that he might be letting go of his anger. Liam was doing his job and I wouldn't stand in the way.
"Alright," I agreed quietly, "Ephandor it is."
Energy charged into his hand as he held it out to me.
"You want a binding? I'm not going to run. In fact, Liam, I'm completely insulted."
"Shake my hand."
I glared.
"Shake it so I can tell my king it's done."
His response was the only reason I reached out. Our skin touched and electricity charged up my arm. I pretended it was the magic of the bargain.
Pulling my hand out of his, I asked, "When do I leave."
When he didn't answer, I turned my head to look at him.
"You mean we," he corrected.
"Excuse me?"
"The question is, when do we leave?"
"You're escorting me there?"
"I'm staying with you. It will be easier for my family if I'm there."
Liam's long body unfolded and moved to the door. "We’ll depart as soon as you're cleared by Sage."
Ten minutes later, I was still staring at the door he'd closed behind him. Sneaky asshole.