Twelve
Raina
The metal prong clicked against the buckle as I secured the leather bracer around my forearm. With practiced efficiency, my hands moved swiftly, fastening each strap.
Hmm, I hummed silently, eying the items laid out on the bed.
The king had been generous with the supplies, particularly the weapons. I was taking most of what he’d offered, but I didn’t need to carry all of it on my person at once.
Sliding the twin daggers into their sheaths at my waist, I debated carrying the extendable spear across my back. I was partial to spears and this exceptional instrument was the sexiest I’d ever seen.
Sleek and easy to wear, I admired its craftsmanship. The pewter-colored metal was unfamiliar but the king had assured me it was stronger than anything I’d carried before.
When all this was over, I might ask Nox about it. Once upon a time, long before I understood why my parents were appalled by my preposterous ambitions, I’d wanted to be a weaponsmith.
Not only had they been horrified, they’d forbidden me from ever mentioning it again. Of course I’d abandoned the very idea because I was always the dutiful daughter, especially when my years of life were still in the single digits.
Yet, the fascination had never left me.
I missed the private arsenal I’d left behind at Snowfall, weapons I’d earned or purchased on my own. I had been disappointed but not surprised when I learned from Nox that the manor’s armory had been emptied before his arrival.
It was trivial compared to the other atrocities committed there. The king thought I might be able to point a finger at the most likely culprit.
Regrettably, I couldn’t. When I’d last been home, everything had been as it always had been. Most importantly, Snowfall’s inhabitants had been alive.
My stomach lurched, followed by a cold dark need to avenge those poor unfortunate souls. Slow and painful deaths would be too light of a punishment for the bastards responsible.
“Focus forward," I reminded myself aloud, returning to my task.
A new pack lay open at the foot of my bed, containing garments suited for concealment and survival, a silent nod from Nox to life in Ephandor.
I especially appreciated the hood I could attach to the tunic to conceal my white-blonde hair. Hair that blended well with snow but stood out against the earth tones of Ephandor.
In less than an hour, Liam would portal us straight to his father’s residence. I wasn’t ready to face the Drótinn of Ephandor, even with his son right beside me.
Tying up the last of my packing was a good distraction, but the memory of last night's encounter hovered at the edge of my consciousness. Although close, it wasn’t close enough to distress my mood.
The desensitized feeling that had enveloped me in a protective layer of nothingness continued to linger. Though, it had waned slightly, and now I was experiencing a dull ache.
I couldn’t complain, though, not when I should have been shattered by the mistake I made last night.
A sharp rap at the door tore me from my thoughts. Drawing a steadying breath, I abandoned the pack.
The heavy oak door swung open, revealing three familiar faces framed by concern. Aeryn stood flanked by Mirrelle and Astrid, each wearing expressions that put me on alert.
"Raina," Aeryn began, her voice tinged with the kind of worry only a true friend could muster.
"Come to give your condolences?" I quipped, the words falling flat even to my own ears.
"I can kill the asshole, if you’d like," Mirrelle offered, though the furrow in her brow betrayed her jest.
If it was a jest. Knowing her, she might have meant the offer.
"Of course you can, but I think his family might invade Falcondale if you ever followed through," I replied, managing a half-smile. “And for some reason the king and his family are quite fond of him.”
Astrid stepped forward, the morning light catching the gorgeous gold-red hues of her hair. "We wanted to drop in on you last night, but the king told us to give you space."
She studied the outline of my frame, tilting her head as lines formed between her eyes. “Your aura’s off.”
"Off?" I echoed, letting out a huff that might have been a laugh in another life. "That’s one way to put it.”
"You don’t have to pretend with us," Aeryn insisted. “We’re with you all the way. Whatever you need. Right?”
“Absolutely,” Mirrelle agreed.
Astrid nodded resolutely.
"Thank you," I replied, fingers holding tight to the door.
Then I remembered my manners and stepped back to allow them through. “I know you didn’t come here just to give me a pep talk so you may as well come in and get it out of your systems.”
“She’s onto us!” Mirrelle teased, patting my cheek as she walked by.
Aeryn at least had the decency to look somewhat chagrined. Astrid still wore a slight scowl.
Once they were inside, I closed the door. Slowly. When I turned, I decided to get it over with.
"Last night," I started, the words stumbling out, "Liam and I, we had an … argument."
"Argument?" Mirrelle raised an eyebrow, her voice laced with incredulity at the understatement. “I almost stabbed him at the dinner table for the shit he said.”
“I’m talking about after dinner. He came here when he left the dining room.”
"You had more than an argument. He was quite disheveled when I passed him in the main corridor later that night," Astrid interjected with a meaningful look.
A sound, hollow as an empty scabbard, escaped me. "We fought with words and then we …" I trailed off, searching for an appropriate term.
“Hate-fucked.”
Aeryn slapped Mirrelle’s arm. “Don’t say it like that.”
“It’s an apt term for what occurred,” I stated blandly, which earned me a look of horror from the future queen.
“What? It’s what happened. Liam spoke to me contemptuously during dinner so I left. Not long after, he came here. We verbally sparred and then he took me against the wall. The second it was over, he decided it was a mistake and went on his way.”
Aeryn frowned slightly. "Raina, you're talking about it as if you're discussing the weather.”
“What were you expecting?”
Her hands flew up in irritation. “I don’t know. More emotion? Yelling? Some tears, maybe?”
I hefted the pack up onto the bed, in order to continue talking without having to make eye contact. “That was always his complaint, as well. That I could never bare my soul the way he wanted, didn’t act out when my parents ruined us."
“You’re not an overly emotional being. It doesn’t mean you don’t have feelings, that you cannot be hurt,” Astrid emphasized.
I glanced at the light fae. In this, we had always been similar. Yet I wondered if she actually felt things as deeply as I and was just better at hiding it.
“You’re not feeling much inwardly, either,” she assessed. “Your aura isn’t its normal color or shape.”
Light fae were good at reading auras, which was an inconvenient talent for a friend to have right now. “Astrid, that’s the second time you’ve brought it up.”
“But it’s the first time I’ve seen these swirls and bulges in it. You’ve had some degree of muddiness—”
I grimaced.
“—for the past year, but now your solar colors are nearly nonexistent.”
“Perhaps something inside me has finally broken completely. Or maybe," I continued, picking up the compact spear, "this is some sort of self-preservation."
"Dammit, Raina," Mirrelle muttered, stepping closer.
Her hand reached out, but she stopped short of touching me. "I want you to be safe, but I don’t want you to go to Ephandor. You need to put yourself first for once. Your mental health is as important as your physical safety. Being around him isn’t good for you, not when he’s being a prick at every turn."
I sighed, meeting her gaze squarely, "Your concern means a lot, more than you probably know. But this isn't just about me. We don’t know how many are bound to the deal and will be coming after me. We don’t know how many are still working against the royal family which,” I lifted my chin to indicate Aeryn, “isn’t just the Skullbrook line any longer.”
I slid an arm through one of the backpack’s straps, hoisting it onto my shoulder. "Besides, since when have I ever done anything solely for myself?"
"Since now, I hope," Mirrelle replied firmly.
"Hope is a luxury I’ve never been able to afford," I said quietly, sliding my other arm through the opposite strap.
"I agree with Mirrelle," Aeryn said, her voice firm. “I’m not sure Ephandor is the best place.”
“It might be the safest,” Astrid returned.
"But—”
“Aeryn, stop,” I told her, adjusting the straps on my shoulders. "I can handle Ephandor. I know what to expect from the Duersians and am prepared for it. You’re worrying too much."
Her pale green eyes searched mine for the emotion she worried I was hiding. She didn’t find it.
"Raina, I understand your need for independence and your desire to protect all of us," she began, her tone shifting to one of quiet assurance. "But know this—you will never be without support. Lorne can shadow-walk you out of there if things get too intense."
"Thank you," I murmured, grateful for the lifeline even as I knew there was no true escape from the path I’d been thrown upon.
"But where would I go? I won’t draw attention to Thornewood, even though I wish I could remain here. I’d even prefer venturing throughout Falcondale rooting out the enemy. It’s just too risky. Believe me when I say if there was someplace else I knew would be safe for me, as well as its inhabitants, I’d go.”
"Leave that to me," Astrid chimed in, her voice carrying the warmth of a late summer breeze. "I have somewhere in mind but will need to look into it further. Maybe I can shorten your time with the clan."
I was doubtful it would pan out, but nodded in thanks, anyway. A haven away from the disastrous state my life had become sounded very attractive.
"I need to head downstairs. We’re supposed to leave in fifteen minutes.”
"Give me twenty,” Mirrelle requested as she yanked the door open.
“Why?” I asked.
She turned, crossing her arms, her stance resolute. Her dark red eyes blazed.
"Raina, darling. You cannot seriously think I'm letting you march into that lion’s den alone."
Aeryn stood beside her, nodding in agreement.
"Mirrelle," I started to protest, but she waved me off.
"No, I've witnessed enough. We’re not sending you without an ally."
“Technically, Liam is my ally, Mirrelle. So are the Duersians.”
“And technically, he’ll still be his father’s son after I cut off his balls.” She locked eyes with Aeryn. "Permission to accompany Raina?"
Aeryn considered, her baast glowing behind her eyes. The beast was no doubt pacing, assessing the situation with the same acuity that marked all her decisions.
“Aeryn, don’t—”
"Granted. Raina needs someone who can call Liam on his bullshit. And you," she looked at Mirrelle with a smirk, "have a talent for that."
"And I bite!,” Mirrelle bit the air, her grin wolfish.
I shook my head, the corners of my mouth lifting.
Astrid’s hand squeezed my shoulder, her gaze steadfast. "It doesn't hurt to have backup."
"Besides, I might just make it an order," Aeryn said, a flicker of mischief lighting up her face. "And you wouldn't want to defy your future queen, now would you?"
"Future being the operative word," I shot back, unable to suppress a quick laugh despite the shadows inside me clinging like cobwebs. "Last I checked, you haven't quite ascended the throne yet."
Aeryn's lips twitched, and for a moment, the weight in the room lifted. Only to come back down and smack me across the face.
"Shit, Aeryn! Your wedding!” I exclaimed worriedly. “I ruined the plans, didn’t I?”
She shook her head, her honey-brown hair catching the light. "Nox and I decided to postpone the public ceremony until you're safe and those conspiring snakes are dealt with—and preferably not breathing."
"And your umbrals are fine with it?" I inquired, remembering the deep mating bond shared by creatures like them.
"They’ve already joined our souls," Aeryn confirmed, a note of reverence softening her voice. "That's more binding than any wedding or crowning ceremony could ever be."
"More romantic too," I added softly, a pang of longing for something lost tugging at my heart. But there was no time for wallowing.
"Let's go then," I said, meeting each of their gazes, finding strength in their unwavering presence.
After asking Astrid to help Mirrelle pack out of fear the fashionista would take too long, Aeryn escorted me downstairs. Once it was just the two of us, I finally spoke aloud the question that I’d been wanting to ask her.
“Are you worried?”
“Of course, but I’m sure you’ll be fine, Raina.”
“No, about Nox. This whole thing isn’t actually about me, remember?”
His mother had been killed long ago. His father, quite recently. Then there was the attack on them both at the conclusion of the bride trials.
It had been an attack planned by my parents. I prayed a day would come when the thought of them didn’t make me want to vomit or hide in shame, a day when I didn’t think of them at all.
“I know,” she exhaled tiredly. “But we’re taking every precaution we can.”
"Who will hold the crown if something happens to Nox?" I asked suddenly, the thought like a cold splash of water.
Aeryn's eyes darkened, a storm brewing in their depths. "Queen or not, I won't stay on the throne without him," she said firmly. "I'd pass it to Lorne or one of the other Scullbrooks."
I wasn’t surprised. As much as she loved the king, she’d been adamant she didn’t want to reign. Which was exactly why she would make a good ruler.
In fact, I found that I very much wanted to see my friend in that role. A fair and just queen who refused to be cowed was what Falcondale needed.
"Please note I got ready and packed in record time!" Mirrelle's voice rang out as she came running down the hall behind us.
I did a double-take at my glamourous friend, who’d returned to us without any hint of her typical style. Sure, she’d been dressing in the same garb as the other castle guards, but still managed to add touches of elegance here and there.
Gone was her perfect make-up, though her lips had a natural red tint to them that couldn’t be washed away. Not a single piece of jewelry adorned her neck or wrists.
The most notable change, though, was her hair. The white streaks that ran through her dark gold mane were more noticeable with her hair pulled straight back from her face into a severe bun. Not a single strand was free.
Aeryn pursed her lips. “You look ready to kick some ass, Mirrelle.”
“I feel ready to kick some ass,” she chirped merrily. “Fuckface better watch himself.”
"Language, Lady Mirrelle," I chided sarcastically. “The Duersians hold extremely high standards for their females.”
And they did, just not in the same way as the average king’s court. Mirrelle had never been to Ephandor, but she would get the joke.
"Right, right. My apologies, Lady Raina. I meant to say Sir Fuckface doesn’t stand a chance.”
Aeryn snorted and once again I found myself laughing, something I hadn’t done much of for most of my life. The moment was brief, but that made it all the more precious.
Glancing behind Mirrell, I didn’t see our favorite light fae. “Where’s Astrid?”
“She traveled ahead to let Nox and Liam know about Lady Aeryn’s decision to send me to Ephandor. I swear she moves through light and shadow faster than any of her kind. I’m totally jealous.”
I nodded in agreement. I, too, lacked the kind of magic that could move me from one place to another.
When we turned the corner and saw the small group, Nox was listening intently to Astrid. Lorne looked deep in thought, but that was how he always looked. Well, that or like he couldn’t stand the sight of whatever he was looking at.
Liam, however?
The male looked like he had just sucked an entire grove of lemons. His jaw was clenched, eyes flashing with anger. They darkened further when he noticed our approach.
"Absolutely not," he bit out. “Mirrelle stays here and does the job she voluntarily took.”
Aeryn cocked her head. “I already made my decision. Mirrelle stays with Raina.”
Liam's gaze flicked to me for the briefest moment before focusing back on his king’s mate. “Did you forget what happened?” he pushed. “I’m trying to keep Raina from being taken again.”
"Which is exactly why I’d like Mirrelle to act as her guard," Aeryn countered smoothly.
Nox silently watched the exchange, arms crossed over his broad chest. Whatever his thoughts were on the matter, he was deferring to Aeryn.
Liam’s handsome features twisted into a scowl. “I won’t be responsible for her safety.”
Mirrelle chuckled dryly. “Your concern for my welfare is duly noted, Sir Liam. As is your lack of interest in maintaining it. Now, if you’re finished with your little tantrum, Raina and I are ready for your escort.”
Nox’s lips twitched. Lorne, however, scooped me up into his arms and whispered into my ear.
“Don’t die,” he ordered.
“Why are you hugging me?” I murmured back with equal parts surprise and amusement.
Lorne set me down. “Just do as I say.”
“In general or the not dying part?”
“Both.”
I was about to say something back to the muscled fae, but Liam grabbed my arm and tugged me through the portal he’d conjured without saying a word.
Lorne’s chuckle echoed in my ears and I held onto it, knowing in the next three seconds I’d probably have to defend myself. Preferably with a blade because going verbally toe-to-toe with Brahm Duersi was out of the question.