Chapter 14 Renard
FOURTEEN
RENARD
I found Julian in the family section during warm-ups.
"Conley." Derek skated past. "You keep staring at the stands. Is that your partner up there?" He'd followed my gaze. "In your jersey?"
"Husband."
"You're going to be a dad." Derek clapped my shoulder.
Raul pulled up beside him. "Congratulations, man. When's he due?"
"Four months."
I looked up one more time before making myself focus on the ice.
The Harborview Hunters were fast and physical, and they came out swinging from the puck drop.
But I was locked in. I tracked every shot from the moment it left the stick and the angles felt natural.
Everything they threw at me I had an answer for.
A breakaway in the second period where I dropped and got my glove up at the last possible moment had the crowd roaring.
Raul tapped my helmet afterward and said nothing, which was all it needed.
By the third period the Hunters were desperate. They pulled their goalie with two minutes left and a shot came through a screen of three players that I lost completely until it was almost past me. The puck ricocheted into the corner and the buzzer followed.
We won 3-0.
The guys swarmed the crease. I let it happen and looked up. Julian was on his feet, clapping, and when our eyes met he grinned and put both hands on his stomach.
Most of the team had cleared out by the time I made it to the family area. Julian was waiting by the corridor entrance and the noise around us did what it always did when I saw him. It fell away.
I pulled him close, mindful of his bump, and breathed him in.
He scented of vanilla lotion and underneath it, just him.
His fingers curled into the front of my jacket and he pressed his face against my chest for a moment before looking up.
The corridor lighting caught the flush on his cheeks and I could feel his heartbeat against mine which was faster than usual.
"I couldn't stop watching you. I kept grabbing the arm of the guy next to me. He was very patient about it." His hand came up to my face and I leaned into his palm. "You were unreal out there."
I kissed him. He made a small sound against my mouth that wasn't appropriate for a public corridor and I didn't care.
Derek appeared with Raul and a few others and I introduced Julian.
The word husband came out naturally, the way it had since the first time I'd said it.
The mating ceremony had been its own ritual, ancient and binding in ways a legal document wasn't, but we'd do the paperwork at city hall eventually.
Derek shook Julian's hand. "So you're the reason he's been playing like this."
Julian glanced at me. "I don't think I can take credit for a shutout."
"You can," Raul said. "Trust me. He was a different goalie before you showed up."
Julian's ears went pink and I rested my hand on his back because I wanted to touch him and because I could.
A reporter caught me before we could leave. She had professional questions about saves and playoff positioning, which I answered in the clipped way I always did. Then she glanced at Julian.
"I noticed you had family here tonight. Does having that support make a difference?"
"It does. My husband was here for the first time tonight, so it was special."
"Congratulations on the marriage." She smiled. "Any other changes in your life this season?"
I looked at Julian. His bump was visible under the jersey. He gave me a small nod and squeezed my hand.
"We're expecting our first child in four months. We're very happy."
After she left, Julian leaned into my side. "You just told a reporter we're having a baby."
"Was that okay?"
"I wanted you to." His voice was quiet. "You just claimed me in front of everyone."
"You're not a secret. You never were."
Julian was quiet on the drive home. The comfortable kind, not the worried kind, which I'd learned to tell apart. He kept glancing at me with a small smile and his hand rested on his stomach the way it did when he was content. He probably didn't notice he was doing it.
"What?"
"Just thinking about how lucky I am." He reached over and laced his fingers through mine. "I'm pregnant with our baby and you're telling reporters about us."
"I'm the lucky one."
At home, Julian carefully folded the jersey and set it on the dresser.
He smoothed the number with his fingertips before stepping back, and something about the gesture caught in my chest. This mattered to him.
Not the jersey itself but what it represented.
He was claimed and visible and he was mine in a way that everyone could see.
"Keeping that?"
"I'm wearing it to every game."
"You'll need more than one."
"Good thing you can afford it, superstar." He stretched, one hand pressing into his lower back as he did when he was tired.
I helped him undress and placed my hands on his growing bump. Every time I saw it I was caught by the reality of it. Our baby was in there. My mate’s skin was warm and I traced the curve of his belly before pulling his shirt over his head.
In the shower I worked my thumbs into the muscles along his spine and he leaned into it.
"Your back's been more painful this week."
"Everything's been worse this week. My back's starting to complain. I can't sleep on my stomach anymore and heartburn is apparently a thing now." He turned to face me, water running down his face. "It’s worth it though."
"Absolutely."
I pressed a kiss to his shoulder and he leaned back against me and we stood under the water without talking. His hand found mine and placed it on his stomach. The baby moved under my palm, a slow roll that still amazed me no matter how many times I felt it.
"They like the sound of the water," Julian said.
"How can you tell?"
"They always settle when we're in here. Or when you talk to them." He tipped his head back against my shoulder. "Your voice calms them down. It calms me too."
I pressed my mouth to his temple and held him and didn't say anything because I didn't need to.
After, we got into bed. He curled against my chest in the way he had since the first night he'd stayed, and I put my hand on his stomach. The baby was quiet, settled for the night.
"Renard?"
"Hmm?"
"Tonight was the first time I felt like I belonged in your world. Not just the shifter part but the hockey part, the public part, all of it." There was a long pause. "Like I had a place."
"You've always one, right here in my heart."
"I know. But tonight I felt it." His hand covered mine on his stomach. "I want our kid to grow up knowing both their parents were there. In the stands, on the ice, wherever. I don't want them to wonder."
"They won't." I pressed my mouth against his hair. "I promise."
He was quiet long enough that I thought he'd fallen asleep. Then he murmured, "We still haven't agreed on a name."
"We have plenty of time."
"You say that about everything." But he was smiling. I could feel it against my chest.
"Love you," he whispered, most of the way asleep.
"Love you too. Both of you."
I lay there listening to his slow breathing. And underneath it, very faint, the tiny rapid heartbeat that still stunned me every time I heard it. That sound was better than any shutout or win.