Chapter 15 #2
“She did,” Gabriel whispered. “But I could not save her. Still, I can try to save others. I just—you cannot imagine the fury I felt upon returning to London, hellbent on revenge, only to find out that Edmund had continued living his life as though my sister was nothing. She gave up her life to chase him, to chase what she thought was love, only to be forgotten like a—like a… Heavens, I do not know, but he discarded her so easily. Even in her last breaths, she claimed that he had been good to her, that she had made her own choices, and that I should not be angry with him.”
“She was in love with him,” Sibyl murmured, and he nodded. “I really am sorry, Gabriel.”
“It is all right. I wanted you to know the truth. In all honesty, I was tired of keeping it locked away, debating what to say and what not to say. Letitia deserves to be spoken about, to be honored, to be thought about for more than just how she died.”
“Then we will honor her,” Sibyl said. “I have thought about her often since I saw the portrait of the two of you. I had no idea of the devastation Edmund had caused so many people.”
“There was a reason I wanted you free of his debts,” Gabriel muttered. “I wanted to do it to free Letitia’s memory, of course, but I also wanted him to know that I pulled him back from the brink, that he would owe me, would be indebted to me.”
“Only to find out—” Sibyl didn’t want to finish.
She didn’t want to keep thinking about Edmund, not when Gabriel sat next to her, beautiful and vulnerable.
He turned her face towards him, smiling at her fondly.
“You rarely smile,” she noted. “Yet you smile at me… quite often.”
“Perhaps you give me something to smile about.”
His hand brushed her cheek, and she closed her eyes, emotion rising within her.
Heavens, she had read about scenes like this, and here her husband was—a man she had thought was so stoic and cold and evasive, closed off to everything—touching her skin, touching her, as though she meant something.
“You have always looked at me as though you see me,” she breathed. “And that struck me, the first time we met. I have never been seen, not truly. Not until you.”
“Sibyl, whoever does not see you is a fool. You shine so brightly. So—”
“Say it,” she dared.
“So beautifully.”
He held her gaze, and she couldn’t help thinking of how he had pleasured her earlier that night. Her face warmed the longer he stroked it, and she leaned into his hand.
“Sibyl,” he said a few moments later, his voice still soft in the candlelight. “I am going to ask you about the Viscount Grenford.”
At once, Sibyl bristled, her entire body going rigid. She tugged away from his grasp, her defenses rising.
Heavens, now she understood why he often evaded her questions.
“How do you know about him?” Her voice had an edge to it that she did not even recognize.
“It’s not circulating among the ton,” he assured her quickly, given the fact that they had just attended their first ball. “I… I heard it personally.”
“I—” Sibyl inhaled sharply, trying not to think too hard about that man’s hands on her dress, how he had torn it, how the wind had bit at her skin, how he had dared to try to do the same.
“I was accosted by him. I was lured alone, touched against my will, and I was terrified. If my family had not intervened, I do not know the lengths he would have gone to in his relentless pursuit of me.”
Gabriel’s fist clenched, but Sibyl smoothed her hand over it.
“But he is gone now,” she added. “He is not coming back, and I have nothing to fear. Not from him, not from Edmund. Both are gone.”
“Sibyl, I will never let anybody hurt you or Rosie ever again,” Gabriel swore, kissing her knuckles. “That was my first promise to you when I met you, and it remains. You are safe.”
Sibyl leaned in to kiss him, smiling into it.
His tongue tasted like strawberries and chocolate, only making her crave more.
But every time she tried to deepen the kiss, Gabriel would pull away and offer her another treat or slice of fruit before taking a piece for himself.
It made her come back for more kisses, chasing the flavor in his mouth.
“You taste like chocolate,” he murmured, placing another square between her lips.
She chewed slowly, smiling at him as he watched her.
“And you taste like all the treats combined.” Again, she kissed him, and he cupped her face, laughing softly as she tried to move closer.
“I will only touch you again when you ask for it,” he purred when her hands strayed to his shirt, eager and yet trembling.
She kissed away his worries, sliding her tongue against his. Again, Gabriel pulled back.
“I think, er, we should take it slow.” His voice was so soft, so gentle, in the dim room.
The candlelight accentuated his sharp features, making her stomach flip and her need flare hot.
Still, as much as she wanted him, as much as her body ached for him, the mention of Edmund and Lord Grenford had her shaking, so she was slightly relieved when Gabriel gave her an out.
She nodded, exhaling.
Gabriel just watched her contentedly, as though he knew it was the right decision for them both.
“Here,” he said, “let me wrap your robe around you so you can remain warm.”
He rose from the bed, picked up her robe, and wrapped it around her nightgown. She smiled at him, grateful for another layer to burrow beneath.
“If you wish to help me undress,” he suggested, “I would not object. Nor would I object to sleeping here tonight.”
Sibyl blinked up at him, her heart skipping a beat. “Truly?”
“Truly,” he affirmed. “No more closed doors between us.”
Nodding earnestly, Sibyl was already on her knees on the edge of the bed, reaching for his shirt again. She tugged it off him, feeling the hard muscles beneath the fabric.
Carnal hunger coiled in her belly. It gnawed at her, pooling between her legs, as she let her eyes roam over his torso.
“Heavens,” she whispered, her hands smoothing over his chest and shoulders.
Everything about him was so big, so broad, and she grew a little dizzy from his sheer size. Her fingers slid down to his ridged abdomen and then curled into the waistband of his breeches.
He strained against the fastenings, and she could already see how well-endowed he was. She swallowed hard and let her hands move to his erection. But her wrists were caught in his gentle hands.
Sibyl pouted. “I want to see you. All of you. And I-I can take care of… that.”
Heavens, she hated how her voice cracked.
Gabriel released her wrists to stroke her cheek again and brush her hair back. “Another night.”
He leaned down, peppering her face with playful, light kisses until she was giggling.
“Why?” she asked, pulling back. “You cannot distract me with more kisses.”
“It is no distraction,” he laughed, sitting beside her again. “It is me simply indulging us. But if I let myself fully have you, I will not be able to restrain myself. I want your first time with me to be gentler than I feel I could provide right now.”
“What would you do, then?” Sibyl dared to ask.
“I crave you so badly, Sibyl,” he began, kissing her neck lightly, “that I do not trust myself to go easy on you. You ignite such a fire in me that I fear I would be rough with you, drowning in my need.”
“Then perhaps that is all right.”
“Another night,” he promised. “When I can give you what you deserve. For now, just let me hold you and take care of you.”
Sibyl’s breath caught at the sheer tenderness in his voice, how he wanted to make sure she was safe and secure with him for their first time.
While hot need roared inside her—the need to explore him, to feel his body flush against her own, no more barriers and layers between them—she knew he was right.
So she tugged back the bedsheets once again, and they both slipped beneath them. Gabriel turned her so her back was pressed to his bare chest.
“For a man who insists on not giving in, it’s quite torturous how I can feel your erection against me.” Sibyl laughed softly.
Gabriel answered by turning her head to kiss her and pulling his hips back so she could not feel him.
They kissed sleepily into the night, and by the time Sibyl fell asleep, her desire had banked to an endurable warmth, and all she could think of was how much it meant to her to have a husband who made her feel so taken care of.