Chapter 21 – FELIX
Chapter
Twenty-One
FELIX
T he first thing that hits me isn't the pain—though fuck knows there's plenty of that, radiating from every wound like I'm a goddamn pincushion.
It's the smell. Or rather, the absence of one.
That sharp chemical mask I've worn for years, the artificial alpha pheromones that kept the world from knowing what I really am—gone.
Stripped away like old paint, leaving nothing but the truth underneath.
Omega .
The word tastes like bile in my throat.
My eyes crack open to fluorescent hell, and I immediately know I'm back in their medical bay.
Same antiseptic stench, same beeping monitors tracking my vitals like electronic vultures waiting for me to die.
Wires snake from my chest to machines that probably cost more than most people's houses. But none of that matters because?—
"Juniper?" Her name tears from my throat, raw and desperate. I try to sit up, ignoring the way my body screams in protest, the stitches pulling like they're trying to unzip me from the inside out.
Strong hands press against my shoulders, pushing me back down with infuriating ease. "Easy." Doctor's voice, calm as a fucking lake while I'm drowning. "She's safe."
"Where is she?" I snarl, or try to. It comes out more like a wheeze. Pathetic. Everything about me is pathetic now—an omega who couldn't even protect his own. "I need to see her."
"She's in the other room, recovering." His blue eyes are steady, professional, but there's something else there too. Understanding, maybe. Or pity. I'd rather he just shot me. "You can see her when you're strong enough."
"I'm strong enough now." Another lie, but what's one more? My whole fucking life has been a lie.
"No, you're not." Bane's voice cuts through the haze, and I turn my head to find him standing by the door like a giant gargoyle.
His hazel eyes scan me. Cataloging, assessing, filing away every detail for later use.
"But you will be. Doctor's the best at what he does.
Came pretty close to not being able to pull you back from the edge, though, so I wouldn't recommend any more midwinter hikes. "
"So." I force myself to meet his gaze, even though every instinct screams at me to fight or run. "You know."
"That you're an omega?" Bane's scarred eyebrow climbs toward his hairline. "Yeah, we figured that out when you bled all over Elias smelling like winter morning."
A laugh claws its way out of my chest, bitter as arsenic. "Congratulations. You've discovered my deep, dark secret. The big bad assassin is just another omega playing dress-up." The self-loathing drips from every word like poison.
"Why hide it?" Bane asks, and the genuine curiosity in his voice makes me want to punch something.
Preferably his face.
"Are you fucking kidding me?" The monitors spike as my heart rate shoots up. "The line of work you're in, you really have to ask that?"
I expect some smartass remark, maybe outright dismissal. I'm not sure if the understanding that softens his gaze is any better.
"At least now I know why the medications haven't been as effective," Doctor says, cutting through the awkward silence as he moves to check one of the IV bags.
His movements are careful, deliberate, like he's trying not to spook a wild animal.
Which I guess I am. "Suppressants interfere with antibiotics.
The chemical interactions reduce efficacy by about thirty percent.
Now that I know what I'm actually treating, I've adjusted the formulation. "
"Great." The sarcasm tastes like copper in my mouth. "Gotta keep the pets healthy."
"You're not pets," Bane says, and there's an edge to his voice that wasn't there before. "You're a person. An omega, yes, but that doesn't change anything."
"It changes everything." I try to sit up again, and this time Doctor doesn't stop me. The room spins for a second before settling into something resembling stability.
The worst part is the heat simmering under my skin like a disease. The suppressants kept it from going full nuclear, but I can feel it there, waiting. My body preparing to betray me, to turn me into exactly what I've spent years trying not to be.
Helpless.
"Those people in the woods," Bane says, shifting topics with the subtlety of a sledgehammer. Somehow, even the giant soldier must sense I'm on the verge of a breakdown. "Who were they?"
"How the fuck should I know?" But even as I say it, I realize there's no point in denying it.
It's as clear to them as it is to me. The timing, the pheromone weapons, the way they knew exactly who we were.
And where to find us. "Actually... probably our clients.
Or rather, your would-be killers. Guess they didn't appreciate us failing to complete the job. "
"Anything you can tell us about them would help." Bane's voice goes gentle, which is somehow worse than when he's being an authoritarian prick. "It would help keep Juniper safe."
And there it is. The magic words that override every ounce of pride and self-preservation I have left.
"I can give you an address," I grit out, hating myself for cooperating but hating the thought of Juniper in danger more. "And the account that wired the money. But it's just a shell corporation. Place will probably be cleaned out by the time you get there."
"Probably," Bane agrees. "But we have to exhaust every lead. I'll get started on it."
He leaves without another word, and I'm alone with Doctor and the weight of my own failures.
"When can I see her?" The question comes out softer than I intended, stripped of all the sharp edges I usually wrap around my words.
"I need to check your bandages first." Doctor moves closer, and I tense automatically. "The wounds need cleaning, and I should assess the internal damage again now that I know what I'm actually working with and you're stable."
"Fine." The word tastes like surrender. "Just... make it quick."
His hands are gentle as he peels away the gauze, revealing the mess underneath. I've seen my share of gore, inflicted most of it, but looking at my own body carved up like a fucking turkey makes my stomach turn. Or maybe that's just the omega hormones making me weak.
"This is going to sting," he warns, then proceeds to clean the wounds with something that feels like liquid fire.
I bite down on a scream, refusing to give him the satisfaction. But when his fingers brush against intact skin, something else happens. No revulsion, no crawling sensation like when most alphas touch me. Just... warmth. It pisses me off.
Just the pheromones, I think.
"It's remarkable you're not in full heat," he says in a clinical way that's at once infuriating and comforting. "The blood work from Juniper showed exposure to military-grade pheromone weapons. The concentration should have triggered immediate heat in any omega within a hundred-foot radius."
"If any of you touched her—" The growl that rips from my throat is pure territorial instinct. "If anyone took advantage of her while she was—I'll flay you alive."
"After what I saw out there, I believe you." His voice stays maddeningly calm as he applies fresh bandages. "But no one touched Juniper, and no one ever will. Not without her permission. I administered an antidote and suppressants in time. She's no longer in heat."
The relief that floods through me is so intense it's almost painful. "You... you helped her?"
"Of course we did." He steps back, stripping off his gloves with practiced efficiency. "I won't pretend to understand what you and Juniper have been through, or what made you feel you have to hide what you are. But you're safe here. Both of you. I hope in time you'll come to believe that."
I don't know how to respond to that. Kindness without strings attached doesn't compute in my world. There's always a price, always an angle, always?—
A commotion in the hallway cuts through my paranoid spiral. Raised voices, something that sounds like a body hitting a wall, then?—
"I don't give a fuck about your protocols! Get out of my way or I'll remove your balls with my teeth!"
Juniper.
Doctor's lips twitch into what might be a smirk. "Speak of the devil."
The door bursts open and she storms through like a force of nature, hair wild, wearing what looks like medical scrubs three sizes too big. Behind her, Archer limps in looking like someone kicked him in the balls. Which, knowing Juniper, is probably exactly what happened.
"Sorry," he wheezes, one hand pressed protectively over his groin. "Couldn't hold her."
She doesn't even acknowledge him, just launches herself at my bed with desperate grace. Her hands fly to my face, my chest, checking for damage with fingers that shake.
"You're okay," she breathes, and then she's crying, uncontrolled sobs that shake her whole body as she presses her forehead against mine. "You're actually okay. When they brought you in covered in blood, I thought—I thought?—"
"I'm sorry." The words scrape against my throat like broken glass. "I couldn't protect you. They separated us and I couldn't?—"
"Shut up." She pulls back just enough to glare at me through her tears. "You killed five of them, Felix. Five. While bleeding out. You protected me the only way you could—by becoming the scariest thing in those woods."
Her fingers trace the edge of a bandage with impossible gentleness, and I catch her wrist, needing to feel her pulse against my palm. Alive. Safe. Here.
"They know," I say quietly, nodding toward Doctor and Archer without looking at them.
"Yeah, I figured." She glances over her shoulder at them, something unreadable in her expression. "Guess the cat's out of the bag. Or should I say, the omega's out of the closet?"
"That's not funny."