Chapter 3 – Bells #2
He moves toward the door, but something makes me reach out and catch his arm. The contact sends a jolt through my system that I ruthlessly ignore.
"Rex."
He stops. Doesn't pull away, but doesn't look at me either.
"Are you okay?"
His jaw tightens and his shoulders go rigid.
"I'm fine."
"You don't seem fine."
"And you're suddenly an expert on how I seem?"
Normally this is where I'd snap back. Where we'd fall into our usual pattern of barbs and hostility. But something's different today. He's not as intense as usual. Not as sharp.
There's something almost... morose in the way he's holding himself. Like the fight's gone out of him and he doesn't know what to do without it.
This is the first time we've really talked since I came back from the hotel with Phoenix and Rafael. Since my heat.
Since… well.
Everything.
"I care," I say simply. "That's why I'm asking."
His eye finally meets mine. Cold blue and searching, looking for something I'm not sure he'll find.
"Why?"
"Because you're not as terrible as you want everyone to think." I echo Jamie's words from earlier, hoping they land the same way. "And because you've been avoiding me for days, and I want to know why."
Something flickers across his expression. There and gone, buried under layers of armor I'm starting to recognize.
For a moment, I consider telling him the truth.
You're my scent match.
That's why you've been acting weird around me. Why being near me feels like something you can't name. And it's why you gave me your room and beat Stephen into paste when you could have stopped at breaking a few bones.
That's why you keep making sure I'm safe even though you hate me.
But this is a coffee shop bathroom. A coffee shop bathroom with tacky lights and bad quotes painted on the walls, to be exact. Not exactly the setting for a revelation that would change everything between us.
Or destroy it.
So I don't.
"I'm fine," Rex repeats, and this time there's finality in it. The door opening, the conversation closing.
And so does the literal door.
I stand there, staring at the space where he was. Then I go into a stall, do what I came here to do, and try not to think about the way he looked at me. Like he was drowning and I was the shore, but he'd convinced himself he deserved to go under.
When I come out, wash my hands, and head back into the coffee shop, there's no sign of Rex anywhere even though it's been all of a minute or two tops.
Of course there isn't.
But I realize my hands aren't shaking. My heart rate is normal. Rex just materialized in a bathroom like a protective ghost, and my primary emotion is... mild irritation?
Huh.
Six weeks ago, I might have had a panic attack. Or pulled my knife on him again. Now I'm just annoyed he disappeared before I could get a real answer out of him.
I'm not actually sure what that says about me. Or about him.
Jamie and I finish chatting and say our goodbyes outside the coffee shop, him bouncing away through the rain with promises to text me pictures of Cheeto's latest antics. The mask is safely tucked into my bag, wrapped in its tissue paper.
I wait until he's rounded the corner before pulling out my phone.
RAF
Coast is clear. Meet me at the car?
PHOENIX
On our way. Raf's paying.
RAF
I am NOT paying. How the fuck was your coffee almost $20?
PHOENIX
Because I'm not paying $10 for shitty coffee I won't drink?
RAF
Twenty fucking bucks is a Six Flags ticket
PHOENIX
Not anymore it's not!
I snort and shove my phone back in my pocket, heading toward where we parked. The rain has eased to that kind of mist that somehow gets you soaked anyway. My binder is starting to itch, and I'm already looking forward to getting home and peeling the damn thing off.
Phoenix and Rafael emerge from the coffee shop a minute later. Phoenix's manbun is starting to droop, strands of blond hair escaping to frame his face. Rafael has given up on the preppy act entirely and untucked half his polo.
"You look drained," I say when they reach me, a smirk tugging at my lips.
"Drained is one word for it," Rafael grumbles. "These khakis are cutting off blood flow to my fucking cock."
"The things I do for you," Phoenix adds, but he's smiling. That big, warm smile that makes his whole face light up. "Do you like the mask?"
"I love it, actually." I pat my bag. "It's perfect."
"Wait, Rex actually ordered a nice one?" Rafael's eyebrows shoot up. "On purpose?"
"Probably not," I admit, my grin widening.
We pile into the car, Rafael taking the driver's seat again while Phoenix folds himself into the back with me this time. His thigh presses against mine, warm even through the denim, and I don't move away.
"Speaking of Rex," I say as Rafael pulls out of the parking spot. "He showed up."
Phoenix's head whips toward me. "What? Where?"
"In the bathroom."
Dead silence.
Rafael turns his head around like an owl to stare at me. "I'm sorry, what?"
"I went to piss, and Rex was just… there. He even checked the stalls. For my stalker."
"He followed you into the bathroom?" Phoenix sounds like he's not sure whether to be angry or impressed. "How did we not see him?"
"Apparently you're terrible at surveillance." I'm definitely laughing now, the ridiculousness of it hitting me all at once.
Rafael catches my eye in the rearview mirror again. "And you're... okay with this?"
"I mean, it's weird as fuck." I settle back against the seat, still grinning. "But it's also kind of funny. I can kind of see why his abominable cake chibi was a knight in shining armor."
Phoenix and Rafael exchange one of their looks.
"He's been weird lately," Phoenix says finally. "Weirder than usual, I mean."
"Understatement of the century," Rafael mutters. "The guy's been avoiding everyone like we've all got the plague. Barely eats, barely sleeps, spends all his time at the studio doing gods know what."
"He took the plate I made him," I offer. "Last night. That's something."
“You’re going soft,” Phoenix teases.
"Can't have my blackmailer passing out from malnutrition. Who knows what would happen then?"
Rafael snorts. "Sure. That was all strategy."
"It was."
"Whatever you say."
We drive in comfortable silence for a few blocks, the windshield wipers keeping time with the radio. Phoenix's thigh is still pressed against mine from when he squeezed into the back. Rafael's fingers tap the steering wheel in a rhythm I'm starting to recognize as one of our new songs.
It's… nice. Weirdly domestic, actually. Like we're just three people who fit together, instead of a mess of scent matches and secrets and stalkers and... whatever the hell is going on with Rex.
Also my scent match.
That's still fucking with my head.
"You guys want to grab lunch?" Phoenix asks suddenly. "I'm starving, and there's no way that artisanal sadness coffee is holding anyone over."
"I could eat," Raf starts. "I—"
Phoenix lunges and points to a Thai restaurant on the corner, the one I'm pretty sure sustains both his and Raf's life forces. "There! Pull over!"
Rafael yanks the steering wheel hard enough to make the tires squeal. I tumble sideways against Phoenix and my elbow nails him in the gut. He wheezes. I strangle on my seat belt. Raf hits the curb stealing a parking spot.
We all laugh our fucking asses off.
My life may be an absolute disaster, but at least right now, it doesn't feel like a bad disaster.