Chapter 19
Daisy
It was nice to spend some time with the band, but when Cruz burst through the front door, relief filled me, and then my anxiety kicked in.
“Excuse me a minute,” I told the guys as I sprinted up the stairs.
Cruz stood in the living room looking wild-eyed. He stalked towards me like I was his prey and before I could get the words out to ask him what was wrong, his lips crushed against mine, demanding and persistent.
A moan escaped me.
I was getting used to being kissed by him and loved it.
He swooped me up into his arms and carried me up the stairs, shutting our bedroom door behind him before carefully setting me back to my feet.
It was a good thing the bed was there to steady me because my legs felt a bit hollow and insufficient to hold my weight.
“Mine,” he growled in my ear before nibbling on my lobe.
Sweet Jesus, what was happening?
He kissed his way down my neck and I thought, This is it. But he didn’t mark me, instead he breathed his scent there, sending shivers throughout my body.
“What happened?” I managed to ask.
He just growled once more in response.
When his head lowered to nestle between my breasts, my entire body ached for him, especially at my core.
I’d read about feelings like this but while we’d made out a few times, it had never felt quite like this. What was he doing to me?
As his hands toyed with the hem of my shirt, I was still uncertain what was going on and then suddenly he pulled it up and over my head.
I wasn’t wearing a bra. My breasts weren’t exactly tiny, but they were small and perky enough that I often went without. The sharp intake of his breath told me he hadn’t been expecting that.
“So beautiful,” he whispered, reverently.
My nipples hardened into stiff peaks.
I gasped when he sucked one into his mouth, but when his tongue began swirling around the sensitive area, I thought I might explode.
“What are you doing?” I managed to ask.
He grinned. “Just relax.”
“But everyone’s downstairs.”
“Well, there has to be some benefits to having human guests. They don’t hear as well as we do.” He winked up at me, and I swear my heart leaped in my chest.
“But why now?” I blurted out.
He huffed and sat back to look at me.
“It wasn’t as easy leaving you with them as I had thought,” he confessed. “The whole time I just had this obsessive need to get back to you.”
His words warmed me all over.
I kissed him. The urgency he seemed to be feeling settled some. He appeared to be much calmer now. Me? Not so much.
My body was strung so tight I was uncomfortable in my own skin.
He had stirred something inside of me that now felt like an itch that hadn’t fully been scratched.
“Cruz?”
“Yeah?”
“I think I need, um, more.”
He grinned, and his eyes lit with an intensity that should have scared me.
“But not . . . that.”
I was blushing furiously. How was I supposed to explain to him that I needed him to help undo whatever the hell he’d done to me but that I wasn’t ready to lose my virginity with my band downstairs waiting on me.
“I’m not going to take your virginity right now, not when you’re already feeling rushed. But if you trust me, I can help.”
I nodded, growing tense with anticipation.
“Just relax,” he said softly as his tongue snaked out to torment my breasts once more.
A loud moan escaped me, and I clamped my hand across my mouth to stifle it.
I could feel the smile on Cruz’s face as he slid his hand down my body to the apex of my core.
His fingers tickled and teased me until they spread me wide and one finger impaled me.
I yelped in surprised, but he continued stretching me from the inside until a second slipped inside.
This time he began rhythmically pulling them in and out while his thumb rubbed circles on a patch of nerves that made my head spin.
He silenced my screams of pleasure with kisses as his hand moved faster with each penetration, building . . . building . . . building until my body felt as if it had exploded.
I bit my lower lip to keep from screaming as he stared down at me like a loon. Clearly, he was enjoying himself.
My breathing was heavy and I didn't dare speak until my erratic heartbeat steadied.
"I never imagined it would feel like that," I finally managed to whisper.
Cruz nibbled on the column of my neck. He wasn't marking me, just driving me crazy.
"Next time will be even better."
"Better than that?"
He nodded with a wicked smirk full of promises.
"Is that even possible?" I teased.
In truth, I couldn't wait to find out.
Cruz stilled and then frowned.
"Better go freshen up. Your band is looking for you. Guess we took too long."
"I'm not complaining," I muttered, making him laugh.
"I'll go talk to them and give you a few more minutes."
He got up, planted a quick kiss on my lips and left the room while I just lay there recounting every second before doing as he advised and freshening up in the bathroom.
And when I looked in the mirror, I saw a woman I barely recognized—wide eyes, swollen lips, rosy-red cheeks, beautiful.
“I could get used to this,” I told my reflection in the mirror.
I splashed water on my face and freshened up so I didn’t look like I’d just been screwing around with my boyfriend. Once I felt like I was ready, I found Cruz and the others hanging out in the living room.
Stopping on the stairs, I just watched them all for a minute as they laughed and talked like old friends.
Could this be my future? My life?
It was hard to let myself believe that could be true, because I knew as soon as I arrived for the concert this weekend, Ronnie was going to put me on lockdown and suck all happiness out of my life. There was no way he’d ever let me out of his sight again after this.
That reality was a little hard to swallow now, but a piece of me knew it was true.
I wasn’t ready to face it yet, so I pushed aside all those worries and fears, deciding to focus strictly on right now.
“You should have seen the look on her face—priceless,” Jonny said as they all whooped with laughter.
“Wait, you aren’t telling him about that time we got booked at that county fair, are you?” I asked.
“And the pig!” Knox explained with tears in his eyes from laughing so hard.
“That was true?” Cruz asked.
I groaned and buried my face in the palms of my hands.
“I didn’t believe it at first either,” Jed said. “But she reacts like this every time, so I have to believe it’s absolutely true.”
“We’re not discussing this. Change the subject,” I protested.
I dared a glance at Cruz. He looked more relaxed than I thought I’d ever seen him before.
Mine, my wolf reminded me.
Cruz reached for my hand and pulled me down next to him on the couch.
I sighed and rested my head on his shoulder.
I know, I thought.
I didn’t want to deny it. This was the life I wanted more than anything. I just didn’t have a clue how to keep it.
*****
The next morning everyone was up early, buzzing with excitement. It was always this way on the morning of a concert and apparently today would be no different.
Cruz had even woken earlier than the rest of us. He seemed to be feeling the excitement too.
I found him in the kitchen making breakfast and talking on the phone.
He said a quick goodbye and set down his phone when he saw me. Then he pulled me into his arms and kissed me.
We stayed up late the night before talking with the guys. And by the time we’d gotten in bed, we both curled up and fell fast asleep. No repeats of our earlier interlude.
“The roadies are already on site and setting up the equipment. Oliver managed to create a stage in time, and everything is running smoothly.”
I snorted. “That would be a first. Something always goes wrong on setup day. Always. It’s like an unspoken curse or something. We will all be nervous about it since setup is the same day as the concert. Typically, we setup at least a day ahead of time to work through all the kinks.”
“Nothing is going to go wrong. Lily and Syd will see to that. Everything will be perfect.”
But after eating breakfast, all of us made our way to the venue and just as I predicted, everything was a disaster.
On the upside, the long drive to the country club was beautiful and made me feel safe and secluded. Security was already posted at the top of the only road into the area, or so I was told.
I gave a little wave to James as we passed, but I also remembered the so-called shortcut “road” we used to rescue the bus when the guys arrived.
The clubhouse was cute. It wasn’t as big as I expected. As we pulled up to it, the place reminded me of a lodge. Once inside, the entire back wall was floor to ceiling windows overlooking the golf course.
“It’s beautiful,” I whispered.
“It is. I’ve only been here a few times. Thomas uses it to start, um, meetings,” he said as Knox walked over to stand next to me. Dropping his voice lower than human’s ears could detect, he added, “For pack runs.”
“And otherwise it just sits out here abandoned?” I asked.
“Nah. Thomas’s dad and his friends use it all the time.
His dad’s a big fan of golf and from what I’d heard so was his father before him.
And over to this side,” He continues, pointing to the left, “Lily had some pickleball courts put in. She’s apparently picked it up as a new hobby and hosts ladies’ meetings here regularly along with mommy and me playdates.
” He shrugged. “Just not somewhere I spend a lot of time at.”
“Not into golf?” Knox asked.
“Nope. Never been my thing. I wouldn’t even know what to do.”
“Too bad, because I’m itching to play a round. This course is gorgeous,” Jonny said.
“Save it for father-in-law bonding time,” Cash teased. “Jonny here is off the market. He’s getting married and then his new daddy-in-law is going to put him up in a plush desk job and make him play golf on the weekends.”
Jonny shrugged. “I can think of worse ways to live, but he knows I’m not ready to give up the band for that cushy office either. Maybe someday, but not yet.”
“And he’s okay with that?” Cruz asked.
“Doesn’t have much say in the matter, does he?”
We all laughed because Cassidy’s dad could be very persuasive.
I’d only met the man once, but it had been enough.
He was quite formidable. Cassidy, on the other hand, was a real sweetheart, and it was easy to see how much she adored Jonny.
I’d even discussed with Ronnie about upping his salary to keep him on should her father try to steal him away from the band.
Of course, he’d laughed in my face and reminded me that we weren’t in the business of giving handouts.
My blood boiled just remembering it.
One of the roadies came running in. “Two of the generators were loaded into the other truck. I could have sworn I accounted for everything, but we’ve unloaded everything and they aren’t here.”
“Can’t we just pull power from here?” Cruz asked.
“Do you have any idea how many extension cords that would take? Have you even seen where they put the stage?”
I was sorry to say that I had no idea what the guy’s name was. I wasn’t exactly in the habit of hanging out with the setup crew, or anyone really.
“Are you sure there’s nothing we can do?”
“I highly doubt there’s even a hardware store in the area that has generators in stock, but even if there were, they’d have to be powerful enough to run everything. Those were custom ordered for off-grid situations like this.”
“You make it sound like we’re in the middle of nowhere. We aren’t off grid,” Cruz argued.
The guy rolled his eyes at my mate and a sort of fury bubbled up inside of me. Before I could even say anything, Cruz wrapped an arm around me and stood a little taller. It was clear he was sensing my frustration.
“We’ll find a way,” he assured me. “We aren’t nearly as backwoods as you are assuming, and we know how to find workarounds for problems. Where’s Lily?”
“She’s outside,” he confessed.
“Have you run this by her yet?”
“No.” His voice was curt, and I was growing more irritated by the second. “Where’s Ronnie? He’ll know what to do,” he insisted.
My nerves went up another notch at the mention of his name.
“Ronnie isn’t invited to this. Tell me exactly what you need and we’ll get it sorted,” Cruz said, walking away with him to fix the problem.
“This was a mistake,” I said more to myself than anything.
“This isn’t a mistake,” Knox insisted. “And this isn’t the kind of thing you need to worry about. Let them do their jobs. Everything will be fine. It always is.”
I nodded, but there was an uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach. I didn’t think it had anything to do with setup, but everything to do with the mention of Ronnie’s name.
Knox never left my side. It was kind of annoying how overbearing he was being.
People came and went throughout the day. Many wanted time with me or just a moment to say hi, but I felt like they were intimidated by my band’s constant presence. It didn’t stop everyone, but I noticed instances of disappointment and fallen faces on more than one occasion.
It tore me up inside because these were my people.
If I was going to truly make a life with Cruz, then I needed to be a part of them.
Yet there was still a small voice in the back of my head reminding me that I was on borrowed time and there was no way this life could ever be permanently real.
Because I was Daisy Brooks, and that meant something.
I had a responsibility to so many people.
But shouldn’t I also have a responsibility to Cruz?
And what about myself? Didn’t I owe it to myself to allow this happiness he brought me?
The truth was I didn’t have a clue how to merge both worlds. I was never going to have it all, but I didn’t know how to choose between them either.