Chapter 10
ARDRUC
The smell of Elena’s blood and burned flesh hit me like a physical blow.
She looked as stunned to see me as I was to see her. From the floor, she blinked up at me, her eyes unfocused, clutching one hand to her chest. The skin on her face was bright red with first- and second-degree burns, as was the back of her right hand where her glove had been burned away.
And most horrifying of all, something had burned a hole through her thermal jumpsuit directly above her single, fragile human heart.
When our gazes met, I read mistrust in her expression, and some anger, but mostly agony and desperation.
“Please help,” she rasped, her voice little more than a wisp. “It hurts.” Her plea was a punch in my gut.
Minutes ago I had stood in my lab shaking my head at the thought of Elena on the roof watching the korae display with nothing but her human eyes.
But as the images and data on my screens grew stranger and stranger, my uneasiness had grown to the point that I found myself heading for the roof.
Whether my purpose was to see the korae for myself, or to check on Elena, I did not know.
Nothing in my life had prepared me for the visceral horror that gripped me at the sight and smell of Elena’s blood and pain. Fear wrapped itself around my hearts and squeezed.
Forux looked up and snarled, as if urging me to act.
I scooped Elena up as gently as I could and bolted for the medical bay. Despite the warmth inside the station, she shivered violently. Her breathing had turned rapid and shallow. Her skin appeared cool and damp. The cause was likely to be shock.
She clenched her jaw and nearly doubled over in my arms. A tiny, broken sound of pain escaped her pale lips.
As I ran, pressure built in my chest—the same discomfort that had developed when I heard her cry out as she removed the medical wrap on her ankle. My coo. That time I had held it in, but now the urge to let it emerge as a vocalization overwhelmed me. My vocal cords thrummed as if I were growling.
Gods above, why should I continue to resist the call of a true mate? Was I not simply making myself more miserable every day for reasons that seemed less clear by the minute? Every instinct promised that way lay happiness and contentment and joy, if only I could bring myself to believe it.
Tentatively, I opened my mouth. The thrumming in my throat became a deep and resonant song somewhere between a rumble and a deep bass note. With a sigh, Elena relaxed in my arms, her head against my chest. The smell of pain faded and her shivering eased.
Impossible. Impossible that a sound I made could have such a profound and instantaneous physical and emotional effect. As impossible, I supposed, as a tendril of kora a meter long that played a stringed instrument and hid among the trees.
In the medbay, I lay Elena carefully in the emergency medical pod. She murmured something, and then her head rolled to the side. The word sounded like Asshole. Not an unfair assessment, if I were to be honest with myself.
The screens above her head came to life as the pod activated with a series of beeps and red warning lights. I stepped back to let the equipment do what it was designed to do.
Like most field researchers, I had medical training, especially in triage care.
That training was not required to utilize the equipment in the bay to treat burns, assuming that was the extent of her injuries.
The medical bay was designed around the premise that the facility would not have any medical personnel on staff.
Forux stood up on his back feet and put his front paws on my knee.
When I did not react, he bit my shin through my pants leg hard enough to draw blood.
With a curse, I picked him up and tucked him against my side so he could see Elena.
He vibrated with agitation. I found myself scratching his head in a vain attempt to provide comfort.
My heartsbeats pounded in my ears as Elena’s lips turned blue. What was happening? I stepped closer to the screen to read the diagnostic scans.
Elena had suffered burns to her face, chest, and hand, and gone into shock, which I had already noted. The next piece of information, however, left me cold. Her heart had received significant damage. According to the readout, if left untreated, the damage would have been fatal within the hour.
Another, much stronger wash of rage swept through me. I snarled, puffing smoke from my nostrils. What the hells had happened to Elena on the roof?
The medical pod equipment went to work immediately, injecting painkillers and other drugs and elevating her legs to increase blood flow to her head. A force field crackled to life around the bed. I averted my eyes as the field disintegrated her clothing.
When the force field shut off, I looked back to find the bed had covered her to the waist with a thermal blanket. A second thermal wrap covered her shoulders to keep her warm while the medical system treated her various burns and the damage to her heart.
My gaze went from the burn on her chest to the diagnostic screen: Cardiac damage appears to be the result of exposure to high-voltage electricity.
I struggled to make sense of what had happened.
Elena’s injuries could not be the result of a korae or lightning strike.
As painful and life-threatening as they were, a strike—even if it were not a direct hit—would likely have proven fatal, or at least far more catastrophically damaging.
When she woke, I hoped Elena would be able to explain how she received these injuries.
Deeply unsettled, I stretched my wings and folded them behind my back. My tail swished back and forth.
I should go up to the roof and begin my own investigation by gathering evidence.
Elena did not need me here now that the medical bay had taken over her care.
In fact, she likely would not want me here, especially when she was unclothed and unconscious.
She had asked for my help while disoriented by shock and severe pain, but that did not mean her feelings about me had changed—as if calling me an asshole with her last breath before passing out had not made it a certainty.
Elena remained pale, but at least she had stopped shivering and no longer appeared to be in pain. The screen above her bed showed images of her damaged heart, now under repair by the medical pod. And though her burns had begun to heal, they were still angry and red.
I had no reason to stay in the medical bay. I needed to examine the roof and get to my lab. The korae display that had taken place minutes ago had been highly unusual, even by Hyderia standards. I wanted to analyze the images and data gathered during the event.
And yet, I lingered.
Some analytical part of my mind latched onto my reluctance to leave as a mystery or problem that needed to be solved.
What did I feel when I looked at Elena? Irritation, because her injuries had disrupted my routine.
Frustration, because her strange love of stargazing on the roof had somehow led to this.
Sympathy, because she was hurt and had experienced terrible pain.
For all my clinically dispassionate nature, I was not pitiless or cruel.
Anger, because she had been harmed.
Fear, because she might have died.
Tenderness, because my body had instinctually made a sound that had eased her pain.
A strong compulsion to stay, because she should not be alone so soon after nearly dying.
Why these feelings? Because she was my true mate. My song and its effects were proof I could not deny. I was a scientist still, though at the moment I felt very far removed from the dispassionate scholar I wanted to be.
The diagnostic screen beeped and added a new line: Stabilized.
“She is stabilized,” I said to Forux, whose little body had quivered with agitation for the entirety of the time I had held him.
For once, I did not think his distress had anything to do with me.
Arvals did not understand human language per se, but the species was empathic and could comprehend simple concepts.
“I am going to leave you here and investigate the roof,” I added, speaking slowly and attempting to project calm and reassurance. “The medical bay will alert me if her condition changes.”
Forux growled quietly, his gaze still fixed on Elena.
I brought over a tall lab chair and placed Forux on its seat so he could keep watch on his beloved Elena. He nudged my hand with his nose, met my gaze, and then looked at Elena.
Her right hand was undergoing treatment, so I walked around the bed to her left side. Very slowly, I reached out and touched her hand. My breath caught in my chest.
As clammy as it had been when I first picked her up at the lift, her skin was wonderfully and reassuringly warm now, thanks to the care she was receiving. But more than that, this first gentle touch had the world-tilting sensation of having found something very important after a long search.
I knew in my soul this moment was a crossroads.
The voice of logic I had chosen to shape the course of my life told me to continue on my current path because it was safe and known and enough. But every other aspect of myself said to forget safety and familiarity, and to the deepest hells with enough.
To my surprise, I found the idea of choosing happiness—or at least, the chance for happiness—more exhilarating than frightening.
Hard on the heels of that revelation came the painful knowledge that since the moment Elena had set foot on Hyderia, I had been so unkind and even cruel to her out of my own selfishness. I was in fact the very worst of assholes. How I might even begin to earn her forgiveness, I did not know.