Chapter 13
ELENA
We set the computer to work attempting to analyze or translate the symbols on the floor, and then Ardruc followed Forux and me to our little apartment.
He stood in the doorway, watching as I collected my sleepwear and a change of clothes for the morning, with his brow furrowed as if worried I might faint, morph into living plasma, or evaporate into thin air. I might have mocked him for it if I wasn’t so damn tired.
I draped my clothing over my arm. “Ready.”
He glanced around the apartment’s combined sleeping and living area. “Where does Forux sleep? Does he not have a bed?”
Forux fanned out his tails and showed Ardruc his teeth.
“Forux shares my bed,” I said, joining him in the doorway. “We’re a package deal.”
“Of course,” he said, though the feathers on his wings and in his hair ruffled in a way that made me think he was less than thrilled about the prospect.
I had a strange urge to smooth those feathers. What would he do if I did?
“You are swaying on your feet,” Ardruc said, in that disarmingly gentle tone that caused me to forget for a moment or two how pissed off I was at him. And then he offered me his arm.
Part of me wanted to tell him not to overdo it on the gallant gestures, but the part that was exhausted and achy and freaked out—which was the majority of me, truth be told—argued that I could let him take care of me just for tonight.
Tomorrow, after a good night’s sleep, he’d be back at arm’s length while I figured out what the hells to do with him.
I tucked my hand in the crook of his elbow for the walk to his apartment…
which had never seemed so far from mine as it did now.
And standing next to him in bare feet made me very aware of just how much bigger he was.
I felt tiny by comparison. My exhaustion and hurts and worries made me feel small too.
He walked very slowly to keep pace with me. Everything about this new thoughtful and kind version of Ardruc unsettled me.
“Your door creaks,” Ardruc said. A muscle moved in his jaw. “I am sorry.”
I focused on putting one foot in front of the other. “It’s okay. I don’t really notice it anymore.”
“Would you like me to help move your belongings into one of the empty apartments?”
Someone’s conscience was bothering him. And to think, for four months I was absolutely certain he didn’t have one.
“Ask me again when I have enough energy to think about my answer,” I said wearily. “All I can think about right now is sleep.” And this damn mark on my chest. A creaky door wasn’t in the top one hundred things worrying me at the moment.
When we reached Ardruc’s apartment, Forux ran ahead of us through the large living area and straight into the bedroom, where he jumped onto the bed and curled up in the bottom corner closest to the doorway.
“He guards me,” I said at Ardruc’s raised eyebrows. “But he likes to be comfortable while he does it.”
He led me to the door of his bathroom. “Do you need my assistance?” he asked.
“No.” Even if I did, I wouldn’t tell him so. Even shreds of dignity were still something.
His quarters looked exactly like what I’d expected: very utilitarian, exceedingly neat, and sparsely decorated with a few everyday items and artworks he’d probably collected from planets he’d visited.
I spotted a Tivoran water sculpture preserved in a stasis cylinder, an Engareni lava candle, and a surprisingly luxurious set of hand-forged Bacorian serving dishes stacked neatly on a table.
Not one personal item, though. No screens displaying images of family or friends. I’d almost think no one actually lived here, much less for two years.
“Elena?” Ardruc touched my arm.
“Yes. I’m moving.” I went into the bathroom and waved my hand over the scanner to close the door behind me.
When I emerged in my most comfortable sleepwear—a light, long-sleeved tunic and matching pants—Ardruc was sitting on the end of the bed scratching Forux behind his ears.
My jaw dropped. “He’s never let anyone touch him but me since he was a baby.”
Ardruc gave Forux a last scratch and rose. “I am honored, then. Perhaps it will make you feel better to know he bit me earlier when I did not do what he wanted.”
“It does, actually.” I trudged to the bed. “Which side is yours?”
“You are welcome to choose which you like best.”
Since Forux was already settled on the right side of the bed, I folded back the bedding and slid under the covers next to him. The bed was huge and soft and it cradled my aching body and it didn’t squeak every time I moved. Oh, heavenly. I damn near moaned. No wonder Forux was purring.
In the doorway, Ardruc passed his hand over the light controls. The apartment went dark except for a faint glow from the front room, leaving him silhouetted in the bedroom doorway. His eyes shone gold in the sudden near-darkness. Beautiful.
“What is beautiful?” Ardruc asked.
I blinked, and then my stomach lurched. Oh, gods…I’d said it aloud.
“Those Bacorian dishes in the front room,” I said, fighting the urge to pull the covers over my head. “Really gorgeous.”
“Thank you. I think so as well.” He hesitated. “I will join you in a few minutes. If you are already asleep, I will try not to disturb you.”
“Take your time.” With a yawn and a grimace, I curled up on my side facing the doorway with my back to his side of the bed.
Ardruc went into the bathroom. As soon as the door slid closed behind him, Forux chuffed softly.
“Traitor,” I muttered. “You’ve never let anyone pet you but me. Don’t get any ideas about staying here, either. This is just for tonight. There’s nothing wrong with our bed.”
He growled. Arvals didn’t like lies. I suspected sensing dishonesty caused them discomfort of some kind.
I yawned again and closed my eyes, hoping to fall asleep quickly before Ardruc came back. I sure as hells felt tired enough.
But as minutes passed and I lay in the bed listening to Forux’s throaty purr, sleep didn’t come.
With an exasperated groan, I rolled to my back and pulled down the V-neck of my sleep shirt to look at my chest. The mark wasn’t visible to my human eyes in the near-dark and it produced no sensations, but I felt it there. And there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it.
With a sigh, I let go of my shirt and curled up again, this time with my back to the doorway. I closed my eyes and turned my face into the pillow.
The bedding smelled like Ardruc—or, rather, like that Bacorian brandy scent I’d noticed earlier, plus a hint of smoke. I inhaled deeply several times.
When I opened my eyes again, Ardruc stood at the side of the bed, a faint silhouette with glowing eyes. He seemed to be shirtless and wearing sleeping pants. If only the room had a little more light, so I could see…
Stop that, Elena Regis. You don’t need to see a damn thing.
To my surprise, he lay on top of the bedding rather than under the covers. Maybe with his body heat and wings he didn’t require anything else.
“You are not asleep,” he said, his voice very quiet. “You are troubled.”
“I knew you were a genius,” I said, but without rancor. I was too tired and unsettled to be angry or even come up with a good insult.
A warm hand tentatively touched mine. “May I?” Ardruc asked.
I was also too tired to figure out a reason to refuse. “Yes.”
He covered my hand with his and squeezed. He felt so warm, and I was so cold. “It is unfair that this has happened to you,” he said. “I would trade places with you if I could.”
“I don’t think I’d wish it on anyone else, even you.” I sighed. “I should stop joking at your expense. I’m not rude by nature. I think it’s a coping mechanism.”
“You may joke at my expense as much as you need to,” he said. The warm golden glow of his eyes was damn near mesmerizing. “I know you are worried. You have every reason to be. But between my scientific methods and your brilliance and intuition, I believe we will solve the mystery of the mark.”
“Oh, now I’m brilliant, am I?” I chuckled softly. “I thought you hated everything about my intuitive methods and gut feelings.”
“It is not that I hate them. I do not understand them.” He hesitated. “Or at least I told myself I do not, but I am reconsidering that belief. But we can discuss that more tomorrow. Please try to sleep, Elena.”
“I can’t,” I said, and I hated how much my voice trembled. “I’m so tired, but every time I close my eyes all I can think of is that damned mark and sleep just evaporates.”
“May I try to help?”
“How so? A lullaby?”
“Of a sort.” He hummed softly. “I am no expert in true mate physiology, and much of what I know is purely theoretical.”
I smiled despite my tiredness. “Let me guess: once I arrived, you researched it?”
“Yes.” He moved a little closer. “I did not expect to use the knowledge in practice, but I wanted to understand my condition.”
I almost chuckled. “Am I a condition?”
“Scientifically speaking, yes.” He squeezed my hand again. “One that has become…not disagreeable.”
Not disagreeable? He really needed to work on his flirting. “So what did you find out that might be applicable in this situation?”
“You have heard my coo. That is not my only way to provide comfort. From my dragon DNA, I believe I have the ability to produce several kinds of pheromones that affect only my true mate. They serve various purposes. One of them may help you sleep peacefully.”
“May help?”
“As I said, this is based on research. I have never put any of it into practice.” Ardruc hesitated.
“As I have committed to being truthful with you at all times, I will tell you I am compelled to help ease your exhaustion and worry, just as I am compelled to coo when you are hurt. If I do not act, the urge causes discomfort and even pain.”
Oh. Suddenly, calling me a “condition” made a lot more sense.
Not that long ago, I might have taken some pleasure from the thought of him experiencing discomfort. In fact, I’d wished him more than just discomfort on several occasions, up to and including asphyxiation in the cold emptiness of space.
At the moment, though, I hurt too much to want anyone else to be hurting—even Ardruc.
“What do you need to do to put this into practice, then?” I asked. “Can you control the release of pheromones?”
“Yes and no. It is instinctual, but I am apparently unable to release them unless I know you would welcome them. It is a way to ensure I do not use them against your will. I can go into more detail on this if you would like, so you understand.”
“Maybe tomorrow.” I yawned. “I don’t have enough working brain cells right now to think about molecular biology. Just for tonight, I consent to falling asleep peacefully courtesy of your pheromones.”
“May I lie next to you so I may drape my wing over you?” he asked. “I believe that encourages the pheromone production.”
“Go ahead,” I said. “Just for tonight.”
Cautiously, he slid closer and rested his wing on top of the covers. His smoky brandy-and-pepper scent filled my nose. I let out a little sigh of contentment.
Maybe taking his cue from Ardruc, or maybe because he thought I’d finally settled into a position for sleeping rather than tossing and turning, Forux curled up against the back of my legs, his purr a soothing rumble.
This new proximity meant my head was right next to Ardruc’s bent arm. I nestled the crown of my head against his forearm. The weight and warmth of his wing sent a wave of comfort and…peace?…through me.
“Elena,” Ardruc murmured.
Strangely, I didn’t think he was talking to me—more like he just wanted to say my name aloud and savor it. A far cry from the frosty “Dr. Regis” I’d heard so many times since the day I arrived. I’d never had an inkling of what Ardruc had hidden beneath those four icy syllables.
I smelled nothing different—not that I should have, since pheromones were odorless. But the process must have gone as Ardruc’s research had indicated it would.
In only a handful of breaths, my eyes drifted closed. My arms and legs went from restless to heavy and still. Thoughts of the mark on my chest were not accompanied by spikes of uneasiness or fear anymore. All my worries and aches drifted away, leaving me content and very, very sleepy.
“Ardruc?” I murmured.
“Yes?” he asked, also quietly.
“Thanks for the lullaby.”
Something brushed my forehead. Maybe his lips. “You are most welcome,” he said.
Soft darkness swept me away.