Chapter 26 #2
"It wasn't just the heat," Drake says finally.
"I failed you long before that. The nest. The zoo.
Every time I ignored you. Every time I chose her.
Every time I did nothing while Ragon ordered your neglect.
" His voice breaks. "I didn't stand up for you.
I failed you in every way that mattered.
And you deserve so much better. You always did. "
The apology sits between us and I don't know what to do with it.
"Where's Marie now?" I ask.
"Ragon sent her back to the registry."
My eyes widen. "What?"
"None of us wanted her to stay. Not after we found out what she did." He rubs his palms over his knees. "Not even Ragon. The scent match didn't matter anymore. Not after we figured out she was that type of person."
The words crack open inside me.
"The scent match didn't matter," I repeat. I say it very calm. Too calm.
Drake's eyes widen. "Vee—"
"The scent match didn't matter."
"Let me get this straight." I stand. "It didn't matter once you found out she lied?" My tone is rising. "But it mattered enough to erase five years of love. It mattered enough to make you forget I existed. It mattered enough to watch her destroy me and do nothing!"
"Vee—"
"I've been here with my own scent matches for weeks and I haven't turned into a mindless idiot drooling over them. I haven't forgotten how to be a decent person. I haven't abandoned everyone I claimed to love."
Drake flinches.
"But you?" I'm pacing. "You couldn't go five minutes without falling all over Marie. Couldn't think past the biology. Couldn't remember that I was a person with feelings, and wants, and needs."
"I know—"
"And then when the shit really hit the fan—" I spin to face him. "When she was gone and you finally had to face what you did, suddenly you could flip the switch. Suddenly you could rise above the biology. Suddenly the pull didn't. Fucking. Matter."
Tears are streaming down my face and I don't care.
"After everything. After all the pain and hurt and neglect. After watching me fall apart and disappear. After leaving me alone during my heat curled up on a fucking porch." My voice cracks. "THEN you figured out you had a choice. THEN you decided you could control it."
"Yes." Drake's says. "Yes. And I hate myself for it."
"Well fuck that. And fuck you, Drake. Fuck you for making me believe I wasn't enough. Fuck you for choosing her over me every single time. Fuck you for only caring after you lost me."
I'm shouting. Drake is crying, silent tears tracking down his face, and he doesn't argue or defend himself. He just takes it.
"You want to know the worst part?" I ask. He nods. "I still love you. Some stupid part of me still loves you and I HATE it. I hate that you can do all of that to me and I still care if you're okay."
My hands are shaking. My chest is heaving.
"I hate myself for caring. I hate you for making me care. I hate all of it."
Eventually I run out of words. Run out of anger. Or maybe I'm just exhausted. I sink back onto the couch at the far end, as far from him as I can get.
We sit in silence. My chest is tight, my throat raw.
"Where are you going to go now?" I ask finally. Voice hoarse.
"I don't know."
"Stay here until you figure it out."
He looks up at me with confusion in his eyes.
"I'm so angry at you," I say. Each word deliberate.
"Angry and hurt and confused. But you still own a piece of my heart.
It's small. Smaller than it was, but it counts.
" I look at him. "I don't want to see you suffer.
You didn't just lose me. You lost your pack, your brothers, your scent match. Everything."
His face crumples.
"I don't want to make it worse," I continue. "So stay. Stay safe. Finish healing. Figure out what comes next."
"Vee—"
"That's all I can offer you. Safety. Time. Nothing more."
He nods, solemn yet understanding.
I walk to the door and pause with my hand on the frame.
"For what it's worth—" His voice stops me. "I meant what I said the night I got here. Every word. And I'll spend the rest of my life trying to make it right. Even if you never forgive me."
I don't turn around. "I know," I say.
Then I walk out.
Alex and Malcolm are on their feet the second I step onto the porch.
Malcolm starts to say my name and I walk straight into him, straight into his arms, and he catches me and holds on tight. The purr starts immediately, deep and consuming. Alex's hand lands on my back, steady and grounding.
I don't cry. I'm too empty for tears. I just let them hold me, let their scents wrap around me, let myself take comfort not because I need it but because I want it.
The door behind me opens.
Rhys steps out.
He doesn't say anything. He never says much.
He just moves to where I'm standing wrapped in Malcolm's arms and Alex's hand on my back, and he sits down on the porch step beside us, close enough that his shoulder presses warm against my hip.
His hand finds mine hanging at my side and wraps around it, careful and complete.
His purr starts up. Broken and stuttering and low, like it always is, speaking directly to the parts of me that are in pieces right now.
I look down at him.
He looks up at me.
The look on his face is the simplest thing I've seen all day. No strategy in it, no complexity, no history. Just: I'm here. I've got you. That's all.
I tighten my fingers around his.
Malcolm purrs above me. Alex's hand is steady on my back. Rhys holds my hand from the step below.
I close my eyes.
And I let all three of them hold me together.