Chapter 35
35
CHARLOTTE
I t’s been six months since Rowan had been gone and not one day went by where I didn’t think about our last conversation. I should have known something was wrong, I should have said I love you again. So much time we lost, and now we would never know the future. They didn't just take away my fiancé, or my bodyguard; they took a part of my soul, and with that ruthlessness set in, and I stayed true to my word. They haven't gotten a day of rest since that day.
Every day gunshots rang through the air, more Walkers were interrogated; sales and auctions ruined. As I promised, no rest would come to them, not until I was satisfied. Not until I took what they took from me. It's like having an insatiable hunger that will never be satisfied.
After everything settled down Joshua attempted to pull back, going into hiding like a coward. I packed everything and moved into our home, alone. The bedroom still smelled like him, and I knew it wouldn't stay like that forever, so for now, I only left it when I had too, like today.
I asked the Davies brothers to meet me here today for an official transfer. I would be running the organization from the sidelines for a bit, while they would be the face of it. I sipped on my tea as they walked through the screen door quietly, saying hello, as if they were going to wake someone. I liked the silence these days and appreciated their respect for my home. Each taking a seat across I pushed the papers toward them without saying a word.
“Charlotte, are you sure about this, we could really use your perspective on things, Rowan wouldn't have wanted you to be like this,” Thomas said.
“You have no idea what he would have wanted, what we wanted, and I would like to live that in peace,”? I snapped, rubbing my forehead. “Do you want it or not?”
They both nodded, sorrow etched across their faces. I didn't need anyone's pity, nor did I want it.
“I'm just stepping back for a few years. You know I am always here if you need me, or that fresh perspective, I trust you both with all of my heart to keep the sanctity of the family intact, plus you have more men put together than I could have in a lifetime.”
“And as promised, your account will reflect the agreement at all times, you won’t have to worry about anything. We have your back Lottie.”
I sighed, playing with the silver chain that hung loosely on my neck. “I should have made him stay with me.”
That sentence echoed in my head until the floodgates opened, I couldn't help it. “He's the only man I have ever loved.”
They each took a hand and I squeezed for dear life. “Wh–oo’s g–g-oing to lo-v–ve me like h-he did?” I asked through the sobs.
Rowan
I held the file in my hand. As far as I was concerned, the world thought I was dead. I had been gone too long, but I'd been safe this whole time, holed up at a rusty motel, whose wall I littered with the information of every Walker I'd ever come across. When I wasn’t doing that, I was watching Lottie closely through the cameras, watching, as she slowly turned cold, and ruthless. It broke my heart to see her lying in our bed clutching my shirts, torturing people in the home I built for us, or taking her anger out on the furniture. I had heard her conversations and the nights she cried herself to sleep. This was the only way I could give her the life she deserved, but I got lucky, the fucking idiot grazed me just enough to do some damage, but nothing life threatening. Still packed a punch though, then I had to finish myself off with the paralytic.
She couldn't know, the less she knew, the safer she was; and I hoped she didn't hate me when I came home. After this I would never leave again. I held the file in the air allowing it to catch fire and reduce to ash. I whipped around hearing leaves crunch behind me.
“What are you doing here?”
“I was told you died, then I thought well if he did, the fucking devil would be sending him back anytime now,” he laughed.
“That wasn't an invitation to come back.” I said gruffly.
I walked toward the edge of the cliff and laughed. “You know my dad said there was one more, and I didn't put two and two until recently.”? I laughed, gently. “What's your name?”
“You know my?—”
“You're real name!”? He walked up next to me, and my fists clenched at my sides as he spoke the truth.
“Jason Walker.”
“Sorry, what?”
“Jason.”
He didn't finish because in a second, I had him on the ground punching him repeatedly. I didn't want to hurt anyone anymore, but what was one more deserving person? I laid into him all of my anger and frustration, until he was a bleeding mess.
Picking up the smooth rock next to me I raised my hand above my head, but I just stared at him, the rock shaking viciously in my hand. I couldn't do it.? Why can’t I do it?
“Do it Rowan,” he said. “Finish it.”
I set the rock down. No . He was going to live with the pain and suffering he caused.
“Just let me explain.”
“No, it's time for me to go home.”
“Rowan!” he called out.
“What the fuck could you possibly want, our whole friendship was a lie!” I grabbed him by the collar, shoving him back into the ground.
“I left her in your care for five years when I was gone. Fucking five! I trusted you with the love of my life Jason.”
My voice cracked, and I hit him again, watching his head snap to the side and the thick crimson coat his face. He spit the blood overflowing in his mouth. It was mixing with his tears, and I let him sit up.
“Who are you really Jason, are you a friend, or an enemy? I need to know. The games stop now.”
He was silent and I left him there bloody and sitting on the ground. I showed him mercy not one but twice. I was done with him, there was only one person that mattered, and I needed her.
“I’m undercover, Rowan,” he finally admitted, and I stopped in my tracks.
“I may be a Walker, but I vowed the day he had my mother dragged away that I would bring them down anyway I can. Please listen to reason.”
“So you’re what? A cop, and have been the whole time?? You have to be fucking kidding me, if that was true how the fuck did you make it in county with me huh? Not only that, you did terrible things, and you are tasked with protecting people. Yet, you never did. You are no man of the law, and certainly no better than Richard. If you come near us, I will finish what I started.”
He threw a punch and hit me square in the face knocking me back and I fell to the ground.
“Everything I did was for you!” He screamed. “Why the fuck do you think I didn’t clean up all of that blood? I wanted you to get out, to fucking survive.”
He straddled me using the same amount of force I did just moments ago.
“I made sure she was safe!”
“When they made me hurt you, I made sure you came back from it.”
“I brought her to the fight that night!”
“I had Lacey take over because I couldn’t stand your fucking screams anymore!”
When I knew he was satisfied, I sat up and wiped my nose on my shirt. Who the fuck is this man in front of me?
“I don’t care about any of that. You let them hurt Charlotte, I don’t even care you took my finger, Jason, but you let them hurt her, they branded her.” My voice rose the more I spoke, and I was trying to keep level and make sense of things.
“Charlotte wasn't my mission, Rowan, it really didn't matter to me, I needed Richard gone, so I used your situation to my advantage, and I hope one day you can forgive me,” he said sincerely.
I pointed what would have been my index finger at him, upset and disappointed.
“Stay away from us Jason, you are selfish.” I said shakily.
“Please don’t do this, Roe. The fucking force is just as corrupt as the organizations we work for. I lost my way, trying to survive.”
“We leave the world as we come into it, Jason, alone. You can handle it from here, but I won’t show you mercy again.”
With that I left him to clean up his mess. While I went home to clean up my own.
Slowly I opened the door and crept into the kitchen and there she sat beautiful as ever, sipping her tea, probably chamomile or something, and I remained patient for an opening.
Once finished she yawned and placed her cup in the sink, but she wouldn't be going to bed anytime soon.
I snuck up behind her and she spoke low.
“I don't know who you are, but you picked the wrong house. I’ll give you a full sixty seconds to leave.”
This wasn’t my Lottie; her voice was hoarse and cold.
Placing my hands on her hips she gasped as my warm body encase d hers. “But I don’t want to leave.”
She turned around and locked eyes with me, but she wasn't happy. I leaned in wanting to feel her lips on mine, but she turned away.
“Lottie,” I said worriedly. “It’s me, I promise.” My hand moved to her face and my thumb caressed her jawline. “I’m so sorry.”
She pushed on my chest lightly, putting distance between us. For a moment I thought she was going to embrace me when she reeled back and slapped me across the face.
“How dare you,” she whispered. “I had to mourn you and my father, I woke up and you were dead!”
Now I was feeling some shame for not telling her, but she needed to see reason, so I asked her to trust me.
“Charlotte, you can be mad for however long you need, but understand now that I am dead, we can do or go wherever we want.”
“Why are you always leaving me, Rowan? I always lose. Is something wrong with me!?” Her voice cracked. “You should have warned me that I would have had to live without you, Rowan! I would have been fine with that. You can't just show up like this!” She yelled, throwing a plate and I ducked as it crashed into the wall behind me. “Where have you been, and why are you bloody!”
My heart shattered watching all the emotions she had been holding in every time a plate or cup was thrown my way, and I hated myself for causing that pain.
Red painted her cheeks and her eyes were blazing as they met my glossy ones, and she shattered, her lower lip quivered .
I opened my arms hoping she would embrace me like I needed her to. And after an agonizing minute she did, wrapping around me tight, and I placed my face into her hair, soothed by the familiar scent as she sobbed.
“I’m so sorry” I said, my own tears pooling at the surface and falling down into her hair.
“You need to leave and stay gone,” She demanded. “You will always leave me behind.”
“Please, no. I won’t leave again, I did this for us; so, I could give you the life you want.” I whispered, falling to my knees. I wrapped my arms around her waist, and pulled her close, and my tear-stained face rested on her abdomen. “Please, Lottie, I'll do anything.” I begged, sobbing against her.
“Retire,” she said quietly.
“What do you mean?” I sniffed.
“Retire, Rowan. You’re fired. If you want to stay, you are going back to school and you are going to do what you should have done a long time ago. The mask disappears, and you stop going after the Walkers. It’s not your fight anymore.”
“I’m not going to let them hurt you,” I whispered to her.
“Look at me Rowan, you have no choice in the matter. I never had a choice, but you do; if you love me, you will do this. For us.”
Her face never faltered, I never thought about the consequences of this life, and now it was threatening to crash around me, but I would let it all burn, if it meant I didn’t lose her.
I stood up towering over her and lifted her up, instantly she wrapped her legs around my waist. My lips found the vein on her neck, and I kissed against her slowed pulse.
“Okay,” She moaned as my lips trailed down her neck. “Consider me retired, Princess, you will always be my priority.”
I carried her over and laid her down on the kitchen table, rubbing her nipples with the palm of my hand through the pink silk of her nightgown.
“Roe,” she moaned out, and my dick stirred, straining against the fabric of my jeans.
Her slender fingers reached for the buttons on my shirt undoing them one by one until it fell from my shoulders.
Wrapping my hands around her thighs I pulled her to the edge of the table and teased her with my fingers. “I want your wetness dripping off of this table, Charlotte."
“Then stop teasing and fuck me Rowan,” she pleaded.
And I always complied.
I lined up with her entrance and groaned and I drove into her. Missing the way, she fit around me like the piece to a puzzle I had been missing.