Chapter 8 - Ryder
My leg won’t stop bouncing today. I’m fraying at the edges, and every bit of silence between us rubs me raw.
The restraint I’ve been forcing on myself is wearing thin, thread by thread.
The questions that sit heavy in my chest never get answers, and Maya’s sympathetic looks—along with those subtle crossed fingers when she thinks I’m not paying attention—tell me there’s more going on than she’ll say out loud.
I feel worn down, like I’ve been sanded into a duller version of myself. But even like this, even frayed and restless, I see her.
More importantly, I’ve caught her watching me when she thinks I’m not looking. Those stolen glances keep me tethered when everything in me wants to break. It’s eating at me. My restraint is stretched too tight, one pull away from snapping.
I’ve sworn I won’t chase her. I won’t beg. I’m not that man. I won’t push myself into her world if she doesn’t want me there. But god, it’s hard not to reach out and take what I already feel belongs to me.
And of course, that means I can’t take my eyes off her. I need to know everything. Every flicker of emotion on her face. Every heartbeat she tries to hide from me.
When men flirt with her—and of course they do, because she’s fucking gorgeous, a sip of sunshine in fall—she tucks those soft wisps of hair behind her ear and looks away. But then her eyes flick to me. Always to me.
And in that moment, I look right back.
I let her see it. The heat. The claim. The promise.
I know, sunshine. It should be me.
And she holds my gaze just long enough to forget to breathe.
When I look up from my phone and catch Paige watching me—confused, nervous, wanting—my pulse spikes hard.
Her eyes say I can’t. I wish I could.
I look away before I do something reckless. The distance between us isn’t silence anymore; it’s a living, breathing thing sitting between us, pressing against my ribs.
We talk sometimes. She’s always sweet, polite, careful. It’s easy, pleasant… and it drives me crazy. Because I want more than careful words and soft smiles. I want the closeness she keeps locked behind that quiet wall.
Paige doesn’t play games or push me away outright. She just keeps me at arm’s length like she’s trying to protect something fragile. And I can feel it every time our eyes meet. The air shifts. The pull between us gets stronger. And the space she leaves becomes unbearable.
So I leave before the need eats me alive. Not to disappear. Not to push. Just to hold steady—for now.
But the edges are fraying, and I’m dangerously close to snapping.
The next day, I don’t make it to the bakery until it’s almost closing time. My secret project is eating up every spare hour I have, and the horses don’t exactly take care of themselves. But if I want Paige to know I’m serious, I need to show her. Words are easy. Showing up isn’t.
She blinks when she sees me, surprise flickering across her face, then something warmer—relief. She opens her mouth like she’ll give me the same polite line she always does, but instead she exhales. “Ryder. I didn’t think you’d come today.”
“I’ve been coming every day,” I say simply. “And I’ll keep coming every day you’re open.”
Her cheeks flush, and she traces the edge of the counter with her fingertips. “Low on options now,” she murmurs, glancing at the pies.
“That’s on me. I’m later than planned.”
She hesitates before meeting my eyes. “Is something wrong?”
So much, sunshine. Because I only get a few minutes of you when I want years. You’re on the other side of this counter when I want you next to me.
“It’s nothing I can’t handle,” I say instead, giving her a small smile. “Hard work usually pays off.”
Her brow furrows, curious. “You sound pretty sure of that.”
“I’ve learned to hold on when it matters,” I say with a smirk. “If I didn’t, a bull would’ve flattened me a long time ago.”
Her lips twitch. She tries to fight a smile and loses.
“Unfortunately, what I’m up against now is a lot more stubborn.”
“Stubborn?” she echoes.
“Very. It’s not charging at me, which would honestly be easier. This one requires patience,” I explain, careful not to corner her with the meaning.
“Patience.” She huffs softly, looking at the pie case. “That’s not exactly your kind of thing.”
“For the right reasons, I can learn,” I say, leaning on the counter. “Even wild animals can be tamed.”
She looks at me for a long moment, like she’s waiting for me to push. Instead, I clear my throat. “Are you busy after work?”
She blinks. “That… depends.”
“I want to show you something,” I say gently. “You can tell Maya, anyone you want. I’ll be waiting, whenever you’re ready.”
“And talk?” she asks.
“Absolutely,” I promise.
Hesitation flickers across her face, but beneath it, curiosity sparks like a match catching fire. It’s quick, but I see it. She finally nods. “I just have to clean up.”
I step back, giving her space, even if every part of me wants to close the distance. She turns toward the counter, hair falling loose around her shoulders, and the sight knocks something loose inside me.
She said yes. Maybe not to everything, but to something. And for now, that’s enough.