CHAPTER EIGHTEEN || REED
Iwoke up hours later, bleary-eyed and feeling like absolute shit, as though someone had replaced every drop of blood in my body with snake venom.
Good. I deserved every second of it.
Through the window, I could see the sun had already gone down.
My phone buzzed in my pocket.
I pulled it out and squinted at the screen. A text from Lindsey: Where the fuck are you, Reed? Harris left. Everyone is worried about you. That was hours ago.
I closed my messages app without replying. According to my notifications, I had ten missed calls—half of them from Lindsey—and a dozen text messages from other members of the pack.
Even Emma, who barely knew how to operate her cell phone, had tried calling me.
I sat there for a long time, staring at the wall. The hurt in Harris’s eyes played in my mind, over and over. I was numb now, but I wouldn’t be for long.
Before I could get off the cot to go make more bad choices, my phone rang.
Jeremy.
My thumb hovered over the decline button.
I hadn’t talked to him in months. Not since his wedding. Things had been strange between us ever since he’d turned into whatever the hell he was now—something not quite vampire and not quite wolf.
Before I consciously decided what I was going to do, I swiped to answer. I lifted the phone to my ear.
“Reed?” Jeremy’s voice was exactly the same as I remembered—familiar and alive, despite the fact that his heart didn’t beat anymore. “Lindsey told me what happened. I thought you could use a friend.” He paused. “You doing okay?”
“No,” I said honestly. My throat was dry and my voice came out hollow and scratchy. “I’m really fucking not.”
A pause. Then Jeremy said gently, “I heard what went down last night with the portal. And with Harris. You made him leave, didn’t you?”
Of course Lindsey had told him everything. Jeremy was her brother. And she was clearly worried about me.
“He almost died,” I said, the words spilling out before I could stop them. “The Algea got him. If Simone hadn’t been there, if she hadn’t given him her blood, he’d be dead right now. And I couldn’t do anything. I was paralyzed by the venom.” I drew in a shuddering breath. “I was fucking useless.”
“But he’s not dead,” Jeremy pointed out.
“Not this time.”
“Reed—”
“You’re right. I ended it. I told him to leave. That being with him was a mistake.”
Dead silence.
Then, “Well, that’s shitty. Go after him and tell him you didn’t mean it.”
“He’s human!” The words came out sounding scraped-thin and too loud. “He’s fragile and he’s mortal and he keeps throwing himself into danger without thinking twice! And I can’t protect him, Jeremy. I’m not strong enough! Last night proved that.”
“No. Last night proved that Harris is brave,” Jeremy said quietly. “From the way Lindsey described it, he saved Sally’s life.”
“That’s true,” I admitted.
“Nicolas won’t shut up about him, you know.”
I snorted. “Wait, the vampire actually likes him?”
Jeremy chuckled. “Harris is the first friend he’s had in eight centuries. Nicolas is just shy of weaving him a goddamn friendship bracelet.” Then he paused. “Harris is a fighter, Reed. He always has been.”
“He could still die.”
“So could you,” Jeremy shot back. “So could anyone. That’s part of being alive. You can’t protect him from everything.”
“I told him he was a liability. That he was going to get someone in my pack killed.”
Jeremy was quiet for a moment. Then he said, “Well, it’s official. You’re an idiot.”
“Gee, thanks,” I muttered.
“I’m serious. Reed, you found your fated mate. Do you know how rare that is, in the grand scheme of things? How lucky you are?”
“I seem to recall you had trouble with Thierry in the beginning, too,” I pointed out.
“True. I’m not saying I’m not also an idiot.”
I found myself smiling at that.
“I miss this,” Jeremy said suddenly. “All we need now is a six-pack of beer. We used to shoot the shit for hours. Real talk until the sun came up. It drove Ian nuts.”
At the mention of Ian—his former mate—I lost my smile. A monster had gotten him, too.
“Me too. But what if I end up going through what you went through? With Ian.”
“I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy,” Jeremy admitted. “But I don’t regret it. Every second with someone you love is a gift, Reed.”
“When did you get so sappy?”
“Thierry’s a bad influence on me,” he said with a chuckle. “And dying and coming back to life puts things into perspective in a pretty big way.”
“Yeah,” I said. “I’ll bet.”
“Look, I’m going to say something and you’re not going to like it. But I need you to really think about it.” He paused. “Because whatever else has ever gone down between us, I’m still your best friend and I’m trying to save your life right now.”
“Duly warned.”
“Even if you and Harris both live to ninety because you’ve decided to keep him safe and stay away from him for good, but you’re both miserable for the rest of your lives—what’s the point? For either of you?”
I didn’t answer right away. The worst part was that he was right. I couldn’t deny that.
“At least he’ll be safe.”
“Some hard-won, unsolicited advice: there are two of you in this relationship. Safe or not, you made the choice for him. You guys can and should make the big choices together.” Jeremy, sounding more rueful, added, “Trust me, it takes plenty of practice. But you aren’t just a ‘you’ anymore.
You’re also a ‘we’ and you always will be now.
Sadly, being alpha doesn’t mean shit when it comes to your mate. ”
“You didn’t see the way he looked at me. I don’t know if I can fix it.”
“He’ll forgive you,” Jeremy said. “Eventually. With a sufficient amount of groveling. Fated mates don’t give up on each other.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“Trust me, I’ve been around enough fated pairs to know that destiny always wins.
” There was a smile in Jeremy’s voice now.
“And because I know you, Reed. You’re a good person.
You care about other people. That’s not a weakness, even if you think it is.
It’s what’s going to make you a good alpha. Better than I ever was.”
My throat tightened. “Shit. I miss you, Jer.”
I hadn’t just become alpha the night he turned. I had lost my closest friend. Mostly because I had been too stubborn and blind to see he hadn’t really changed all that much. Which, if this conversation was any indication, he hadn’t.
He was right. I was being very dumb.
“I miss you too.” Jeremy’s voice went rough. “And I want you to be happy, Reed. You deserve that. Don’t throw it away because you’re scared.”
I swallowed. “You’re right.”
“Every once in a while. Now hang up the phone and go deal with this.”
We hung up, and I realized I was going to do exactly that. At the very least, I owed it to Harris to talk to him.
Actually, no. Fuck that. I was going to go and fix everything I had broken. Or try, at least. Whatever came next, Jeremy was right. We were a unit and we needed to take the next steps together, whatever those ended up being.
I only hoped Jeremy was also right that Harris would forgive me—if I groveled hard enough. I planned to do exactly that. I’d do whatever it took.
I climbed to my feet and started toward the door.
That was the exact moment the window behind me shattered.
Glass exploded inward, spraying across the office. Adrenaline cut through the last remnants of my hangover and I spun toward the sound.
The Algea stood in the wreckage of the window, its tattered white gown billowing around it. Its black eyes locked on mine.
And it smiled.
I shifted without thinking, letting the wolf surge forward. My clothes tore as my body changed, fur rippling across my skin, my claws extending.
The creature moved first. Like always, it was impossibly fast.
I lunged to meet it, my jaws snapping on empty air.
It flickered out of existence and reappeared behind me. I felt the claws rake across my spine before I could turn.
Pain exploded through me, ice and fire all at once. My legs buckled.
No. Not again.
I rounded on it and lunged, but the paralysis was already spreading, weakening me.
It flickered away, appearing on the opposite side of the room. Its flat black eyes locked on me expectantly, the eerie smile never leaving its lips.
I took a step forward, a growl rising in my throat. I readied myself to spring at it, already knowing it was useless.
The Algea sailed forward without warning, claws outstretched. The paralysis made me too sluggish to move out of the way.
More icy fire as its talons sliced through my skin, wrenching a strangled snarl from me.
My limbs went fully numb and useless. I collapsed to the floor.
The Algea grabbed me by the scruff of the neck, its claws digging in, and dragged me toward the broken window—toward the forest beyond.
I tried to fight it, to break free of its grasp, but my body wouldn’t respond to me at all.
The world tilted. Trees blurred past. And then, deep in the forest, in the same clearing where my mate had almost died the night before, reality cracked open around us. The air shimmered, peeling back grotesquely.
The Algea dragged me through.
The colors shifted, becoming too bright, too vivid. The trees were taller here, older, their bark slick and black. The sky was the same bruised color I’d seen through the portal, the moonlight harsh and blinding.
And I was alone.
No pack and no Harris. No one was coming to help me.
The Algea released me and I collapsed onto the ground. My vision swam, the venom—twice the dose I’d ever experienced before—dragging me down into darkness.
My last coherent thought was: I’m never going to see him again.
Then the world went black.