23. June
June
Am I crazy for being more mind-blown about the fact that I had sex with Coen than I am about having killed a man?
It’s been three days, and yet I keep finding myself touching my fingers to spots on my body where his lips had touched. My neck. Just below my ear. My collarbone. Even the corner of my mouth. Soft, delicate, but full of a burning desire I thought was long forgotten.
I’ve officially had sex with every member of this house, and somehow, they’re all okay with it.
Or they’re at least acting like they are.
I’ve made it pretty damn clear that I’m not going to choose between them and although I thought that was pretty damn irrational, they haven’t said a word about it.
It’s strange, really. I mention Simon and all three of them nearly jump out of their skin and bark off how they want to tear him apart, but I can openly sleep with any one of them without them batting an eye.
How did I go from never sticking around longer than a couple rumbles in between the sheets, to bunking up with three, I repeat, one, two, three men?
And if I’m being honest with myself, I’m not mad about it at all.
The thought of settling down with one man is unappealing.
I'd go as far as to say it's suffocating to imagine.
But with Dominic, Coen, and Magnus, they each bring something else the others don't bring to the table.
Dominic is a brute with a dominant side.
Totally fitting for his name. He's a softie, but only for me, which absolutely drives me wild.
Magnus is a picture-perfect bad boy with the tattoos to go along with it.
He has the sweetest heart and believes in me way more than the others do.
His appearance and demeanor are the exact opposite of Coen's which is hilarious because Coen is supposedly this big tough guy, ruthless killer, and yet he looks like your typical surfer boy mixed with an Abercrombie model.
They’re damaged, a darkness consuming their souls in an equal but somehow entirely unique way. It’s familiar. Comfortable. And ignites a connection between us unlike anything I’ve ever experienced.
Each one of them treats me differently, even fucks differently, which provides a constant and well-rounded level of satisfaction.
Am I being greedy to not settle for just one? Is it unfair of me to keep them all on the hook and not choose between them?
What was it that Cora had mentioned at the bar that night? Reverse harem. Polyamory. Is that real? Something that would be doable for this odd situation I’ve found myself and three incredible men in?
“Princess.” Magnus snaps his fingers in front of me. “You in there?”
I blink and nod. “Yeah, sorry, I…”
“Were you having a sex daydream?” Magnus plops himself onto my bed next to me. “Because…it could be arranged.”
“You don’t even know what it was.” I teasingly bop his leg with my foot.
He catches and drags it across his waist. Magnus lowers his voice and raises his brows, giving off one hell of a seductive vibe. “There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you.”
And somehow, I wouldn’t put it past him to be telling the absolute truth.
"What?" Magnus tugs me even closer, pressing his lips against my ear. "You don't believe me?" In an instant, he flips me over, his ink-covered body on top of me, pinning me to the mattress. His shirtless torso begging me to reach out and skim my fingertips along his bare skin.
I can’t help but stare up at him and admire his beauty. Instinctually, I bite at my bottom lip, endless ideas of what I’d like to do with him running through my mind.
A knock sounds on the frame of my bedroom door. A throat clears.
“Here.” Dominic.
Magnus rolls his eyes dramatically and falls onto the bed beside me. “Uh. You ruin everything.”
“The simple fact that you haven’t gotten used to it by now is your fault, not mine.” Dominic enters, his hand outreaching, a hanger dangling off his finger with a black dress attached to it.
“What’s this?” I scoot off the bed and stand, eyeing the offering.
“If you insist on attending tonight, you will be dressed appropriately.”
“Is that…” I softly touch the black fabric. “Armani?” I saw a dress similar to this a while back in one of those waiting room magazines that you browse mindlessly while wondering if your appointment will ever start on time.
Dominic scoffs. “Don’t insult me, June.”
“Armani is under you?” I glance up at him.
“You don’t have to wear it if you don’t want to.” Dominic pauses before continuing. “But you can’t come if you don’t.”
“An ultimatum, that’s very like you.”
Magnus props himself up on his elbows. “Don’t worry, you’re not the only one he’s insisting on dressing. Hayes and I both have new suits.”
I jut out my bottom lip. “I want a suit.”
Dominic shakes his head. “Fine. Next time then. I’ll just throw this out.”
I catch his arm when he goes to turn away. “I’m teasing you. It’s fucking gorgeous, are you kidding? Gimme.” I wiggle my fingers to motion for him to hand it over.
“Do you need anything else?” Dominic folds his arms behind him, eager to be of service however he can be.
Is this nerves? The events of tonight finally exposing themselves in him as anxious jitters to fill the time between now and when the verdict comes in.
I should have realized sooner how…human he is.
Of course he’s worried. The fate of his entire future rides on a room full of women who could easily choose an incompetent fuck boy as the new leader of their organization.
If I can just sway Gwyneth then maybe she can convince the others, too.
Having a female around might give the guys the edge they need to gain the upper hand over Simon and his new-age ways.
Over the last few days, the men have teamed up and eliminated their other threats, getting the competition narrowed down to Simon and Dominic.
Two ruthless men, both drastically different in every way other than them having the same goal in mind.
Claiming the throne. And well, claiming me.
The last part, I’m not sure anyone has the power to accomplish.
As for winning this war, I never considered what would happen if he lost. Would they exile him?
Would they strip him of his title, his assets, everything he’s worked his whole life for?
What happens to Coen and Magnus? Would they all go their separate ways?
Get other jobs? Who the fuck would employ them with their resume consisting of primarily illegal activities?
If Simon gains total control, do these three have to work for him? Bow down and be his bitch?
Or would they be deemed unnecessary and killed in order to eliminate any potential threats they could pose to Simon following through with the new advancement in his career?
I can’t allow that to happen. None of it.
There are too many variables if they lose.
The only option is to ensure Dominic maintains his position as the fearless leader he is.
And with him giving everything he already has, I’m going to have to be the one to pull a Hail Mary out of my ass and figure out how to secure his victory.
I will do whatever it takes because I can’t stomach the idea of any of these three men not getting what they rightfully deserve.
After all, I’m obligated to live in this house until the battle is over anyway. If I want to be free, I have to liberate them, too.
“No,” I tell Dominic finally. I choose a softer, kinder tone. “Thank you, though.” I shouldn’t have teased him about the dress. It was a thoughtful gesture, even if it was laced with him being a dominant control freak over the situation.
He wants me to look good, and that makes perfect sense, considering I’m the pawn being used to advance him into checkmate. I’ve used my body and mind for a lot of things, but tonight will take my skills to a whole new level. What if I fail?
Carefully, I step down the stairs, holding onto the railing for dear life.
I’ve walked in heels countless other times, but I’ve never been so determined to not faceplant.
I’d like to at least get out of the house and show this gorgeous dress off before I fall and ruin it.
I suck in a breath and round the corner, swallowing every bit of my nerves and putting on my game face. I won’t show my nerves, not to anyone.
My mindset for today is fake it till you make it because that will quite possibly be the only thing helping me keep it together.
A few months ago, I was aware sketchy dealings were flying under the radar, but never did I imagine I'd be tagging along to one of the very events where a change in leadership would be decided.
Let alone on the arm of the man who will hopefully take that reign.
I’m in over my head and if I allow it to show, everyone will see me as a weak link, not the rare driving force I need to appear to be. I will not be the flaw that loses this for them.
“Jesus fucking Christ.” Magnus is the first to speak when I appear.
“Yeah?” I continue toward them, a sly grin on my face and one foot in front of the other.
The strings on the gold heels that wrap around my ankle are the perfect contrast to the jet-black dress I’m privileged to be wearing tonight.
Slits all the way up on both sides of the dark fabric leave a strip between my legs, showing them off with each step.
Going commando was the only viable choice since the cuts go so fucking high up my thigh.
The entire thing fits like a glove. Dominic outdid himself, clearly somehow having the gown fitted to my body seamlessly. I wouldn’t put it past him to have used his advanced skills to eyeball my naked figure while we were fucking to get my measurements.