25. June #2
The old me would have slept with Simon in a heartbeat.
Gone headfirst into the allure of his penetrating gaze and seductive tone.
I would have eaten him up and spit him out, not a care in the world.
But now? All I see when I look at him is someone who almost took everything away from the men I care most for.
The pain medication coursing through my IV and into my veins threatens to pull me under like a warm blanket and a sweet lullaby.
Simon runs his hand through his brown hair and leans back into the chair. “I don’t know what it is about you, but you have us all captivated.” He folds his arms across his chest. “I’m just the only one stuck on the outside.”
A part of me feels sorry for him. Now that I’ve embraced the connection I feel to each of my men, to be on the opposite end of those feelings and not have them reciprocated, I’m sure that’s a difficult truth to stomach.
It would be a betrayal to my guys if I even considered bringing Simon into our circle.
I’ve been fortunate enough that they haven’t put up a fight sharing me between the three of them, introducing an outsider would only be a surefire way to make the whole arrangement implode.
“What was Magnus saying?” I ask him.
Simon rubs his temple. “About what?”
“You saved me?”
“Yeah. That. Um, well. After you tried to kill me…” He breathes in and leans forward. “One of my guys shot you, and I maintained pressure on the wound until help arrived. You lost a lot of blood, but it would have been a lot worse if I hadn’t. You probably would have died.”
“Why would you do it?” I shake my head. “I was going to stab you.”
Simon laughs but the humor doesn’t meet his eyes. “You did, actually.” He raises his shirt to reveal a small, stitched section of his chest, right where his heart is.
And I’d do it again if it meant the same outcome—Dominic winning their war.
“They were going to crown him anyway, you know. There’s no way I would have won against Dominic.” Simon pats out the wrinkles on his top. “He has far more experience, obviously. The dude is like sixty.”
“Fifty, but whatever,” I correct him.
“Either way, the entire thing was a long shot. He’s had Winnie wrapped around his finger for as long as I can remember.”
“It wasn’t just up to her though, there are others on the council.”
Simon nods. “That’s the angle I was playing, but her sway is still more powerful in the end. Especially with you added to the dynamic. She adores the shit out of you. Not that I blame her.”
"You still didn't answer my question." I blink slowly as the medicine continues to take its hold of me.
“I couldn’t do nothing, June. I couldn’t watch you die, not when every inch of me was screaming to save you.
” Simon glances at his hands, rolling his thumbs along his fingertips.
“There was so much blood.” He lowers his voice.
“I’m no stranger to violence, but that…that was something else entirely. ”
“For what it’s worth…” I lick at my dry lips, my eyes shutting without my consent. “Thank you.”
Simon reaches forward cautiously and pats my hand. “I’ll wait…forever if I have to.”
I wake up alone, the lights in the room dimmed and not a soul in sight. I blink through the fog and reach for that remote to raise my bed back into the upright position. Simon or one of the nurses must have lowered it when I dozed off earlier.
Sipping from the cup of water left on my tray table, I reposition myself slightly. Something hard catches my attention and I lift the blanket to find my cell phone in the spot Dominic had told me it was earlier.
I have seven missed calls from Cora and thirteen text messages. I know I should click the button and return her call, but what am I supposed to say?
Oh hey, bestie, my bad for not answering when you reached out, I was just hanging out with a bunch of criminals at this semisecret event where the fate of their illegal organization was decided by a group of old ladies who have entirely too much money.
Plus, the whole, me commandeering a dagger and almost killing a man, then being shot and nearly dying in said man’s arms while one of the men I’m in love with went on a murderous rampage to avenge me.
No big deal. I have a gunshot wound to the chest and I have no idea how long recovery will be, let alone how expensive my hospital bill will add up to, but I’m totally fine, how are you?
Yeah, I doubt that would go over very well.
I skim her last few messages and decide to send one anyway.
Me: Sorry I’ve been MIA, super hungover. I’ll call you tomorrow.
I sprinkle in a few choice emojis and hit the send button, hoping it will grant me a bit of reprieve from being a completely shit friend.
I was shot after all, I deserve a tiny bit of slack, right?
If anything, it will buy me a little time to figure out what the fuck I’m actually going to say to her.
She’s going to find out I’m injured one way or the other.
We meet once a week, there’s no way I’ll be healed by our next one and it’ll raise too much suspicion if I blow her off for too long, especially now that she knows the guys are funding our girl’s nights.
I set the phone down and lay my head back, taking in a breath that makes me wince a bit.
My hand reflexively goes to my chest, hovering over the place I almost bled out from.
If it weren’t for Simon, I would have. Although, if it weren’t for Simon, I never would have been in that situation to begin with.
I cannot blame him—it was my choice to risk threatening him.
I knew there would be consequences, I just didn’t think I’d get fucking shot.
The doorknob to the hospital room I’m posted up in jiggles and turns. Is it a nurse coming to check on me? Is it someone coming to finish me off?
I squint to see better through the dim light. Magnus pops his head in and spots me awake, opening the door even more. “She’s up.”
“Get out of my way.” Coen shoves past him, wearing the same outfit from the other night.
What’s it been, one, two, three days? I have no idea how long I was out after my surgery.
Blood coats him from head to toe—speckling his face and caking his hands. There’s something wrapped around one of them, potentially splinting it in place. Dried tears remain on his cheeks and his hair is a mess. Somehow, he’s more beautiful than ever. His blue gaze frantically searches my body.
“J…” He drops to his knees beside the bed and takes my hand in his, pressing his lips over and over on my skin. His sobs wreck me as new tears fall down his face.
“Co, come here.” I tug at him despite how weak I am.
Coen complies, planting his butt next to me while still holding onto my palm. “I thought…”
“Shh. You thought wrong. I’m fine.” I cup his face with my free hand. “What did they do to you?” I glance over at Dominic and Magnus, then back at Coen.
He swallows and kisses my fingers. “Nothing that knowing you’re okay can’t fix.”
I drag him closer to me and hold him as tightly as my injuries will allow. Patting his head, I whisper into his ear, “I love you, Coen.”
He sniffles into my shoulder and sighs. “You have no idea how long I’ve needed to hear that.”
“It’s true,” I tell him. I lift my head toward Dominic and Magnus standing at the foot of my bed. “I love you all, more than anything.”
Dominic reaches down and squeezes my foot, a look of relief plastered across his face.
Magnus grins from ear to ear and comes to the side opposite of Coen. “I knew you couldn’t help but fall for us.” He leans down and plants his lips on my cheek and then grips Coen’s shoulder like he’s letting him know that he’s there for him, too.
I never thought it would be possible to fall for anyone, and here I am, head over heels, quite literally, irrevocably in love with these three men.
I nearly died for them, and I would do it all again in a heartbeat if they ever needed me to.
I guess that’s the thing about love—you don’t know it until it’s knocked you on your ass and made you completely change your mind about everything you believed in up to that point.
If this is what it means to finally have something worth fighting for, I’ll burn this city down and start a war to keep what we have alive.