6. Grace
Chapter 6
Grace
I feel so hot all over. So hot… and my heart… it’s racing. I can’t seem to get it to slow down. I can’t seem to breathe. I can’t…
I feel dizzy and unsure. A little fuzzy. I don’t know what’s going on.
Usually right about now I’d start to worry that someone had put something in my drink. But I trust Hendrix and the others not to put something in it, and all of them have been close to me all night. A man would be an idiot to try to get something in my drink and then steal me away from four healthy Alphas.
What’s more, Cade looks worried as he stares down at me. He didn’t do anything. Cade wouldn’t take advantage of me, I trust that.
Although I do almost wish he would…
What kind of thought is that? I must be drugged. I feel crazy. This doesn’t make sense, I was feeling so great. I was having a lot of fun, after that horrible evening. It was good to drink and dance and let loose.
Honestly, I can’t remember the last time I did any of that. Even out on dates with William or at parties that were supposed to be fun, I was focusing on impressing people. I had to be the sophisticated person that I wanted to be, not just because it was who I wanted to be but also because it was what William expected.
I wanted to impress his boss, or my colleagues, or someone. I was never just cutting loose and not thinking about anyone else. This is the most fun I’ve had in years. Maybe the most fun I’ve had since leaving home.
I had no idea how much I was focused on my career and succeeding in it, then on being a good girlfriend to William, until suddenly I’m not anymore.
But this is different. I’m not having fun now. Instead I actually feel pretty sick. I’m so hot I have to wonder if I’m feverish.
Maybe someone didn’t put something in my drink. I know how roofies work although thank god I’ve never had one before, and they don’t give you fevers like this. It doesn’t feel like an allergic reaction either. My throat isn’t swelling up. I don’t feel itchy.
I just feel hot.
“Cade,” I murmur. “Why is it so hot in here? I feel so hot…”
I want to rip my clothes off. I want to get out of here. Everything smells so much more intense. Cade smells amazing, like spiced mulled wine and chocolate chip pancakes. Best of all, he also smells like fresh mountain air. I need air, right now. I want to bury my face in his chest and take huge gulps.
Oh my god, I sound completely insane.
Cade’s scent isn’t the only one that I can smell, though. Everyone around me smells so much stronger, but I don’t want their scents. It all smells wrong. Even the beer and the sweat from the dancers smells stronger to me, clogging up my nose. I can’t breathe, or at least that’s what it feels like.
There’s something building inside of me. A heat that isn’t like a fever. Or maybe it is. It’s a need. A need for what, I don’t know. I just know that I need.
I cling to Cade. “Help me,” I whisper. What I need help with, I’m not sure. I just feel in my bones that Cade can give me what I need. He has to give me what I need.
“Okay, okay.” Cade picks me up, easy for him to do when he’s so strong and a good foot taller than I am. “Let’s get you out of here. Jesse!”
The other three hurry up and I realize that they have to push through in order to get to me. There’s a crowd of Alphas around me and I have no idea when that happened. Everything’s spinning and fuzzy.
Cade looks like he’s about to start taking on everyone in the bar. “Move out of the fucking way,” he snarls.
“I got her,” Hendrix says. “Come on, darlin’, let’s get you out of here.”
The four men escort me out of the bar and into the cool night air. I immediately feel a bit better away from everyone else and with a breeze hitting my overheated skin. But not by much.
“What is wrong with me?” I beg.
“You’re going to be okay,” Hendrix says. “Can you look at me? I need to see your pupils.”
I want nothing more than for him to lean in closer. It’s almost alarming how much I crave that in this moment. I want to rip his clothes off. I want to rip my clothes off too, come to think of it.
“Whoa, whoa, hey.” Cade stops my hands. “Grace, I need you to breathe for me.”
I glare at him. “Oh, now you’re Mr. Talkative? If you want to tell me what to do, then tell me what’s going on. Why do I feel like this?”
Cade swallows hard, then says, “You’re an Omega.”
I stare at him, blinking. “That’s not possible.”
Surely if I was an Omega I would’ve presented by now. I would’ve presented ages ago, when all of my classmates did, Alphas and Omegas showing their true colors while Betas like me just kept on keepin’ on. That’s how it works.
“Some Alphas and Omegas can be late bloomers,” Easton says cautiously. “I remember it was kind of briefly talked about in sex ed class.”
I can feel tears welling up in my eyes. I feel like an idiot for panicking like this, but the shame and humiliation I feel is nothing compared to the horror at my whole life getting derailed. “I can’t be an Omega. I have a job. I have to go back. My boss will be furious if I have to go through the whole courting process.”
“Your boss will understand,” Jesse growls. He sounds furious, although I could swear that it’s on my behalf. But that can’t be right. I must be mistaken.
I wipe at my eyes, still feeling flustered and hot everywhere. I don’t want it to be true. I don’t want to admit it. My whole life is going to change if I really am an Omega.
But I can’t deny that the symptoms do match what the men are saying. I can remember my classmates who presented as Omegas when we were just eighteen, and how they described the feeling to me. It sounds like what I’m going through now.
“You’ll be okay,” Hendrix assures me.
“No, I won’t be,” I blurt out. “I have dreams! Plans! A whole life in New York, and none of that involves being a stupid Omega!”
“That’s unfair,” Easton says quietly. “Omegas aren’t stupid, and they don’t lead lives that are any less than yours.”
“My plans don’t involve being an Omega and being stuck with an Alpha or a pack of them. I’m not going to just sit around in a house all day.”
“The right Alpha—or pack of Alphas—wouldn’t ask you to,” Easton replies.
His voice is soft, soothing, without being condescending. Jesse strides away, putting distance between us. Hendrix gives Easton a look and follows Jesse, probably to calm him down or tell him off for being rude.
Cade sticks by my side, looking around him like he thinks some crazed random Alpha will come out of the dark to attack me.
“I can’t be an Omega.” I hate myself for it, but I burst into tears at last. I want to blame the alcohol, but I think the truth is that it’s hormones. I feel like a child. “I can’t!”
“Hey, hey. Come here.” Easton pulls me close and hugs me. Enveloped in his scent, I feel better. “I’m sorry. I can’t imagine how scary this is. I’m sorry.”
The fact that he’s just admitting how scary it must be helps me feel better. He doesn’t try to act like it’s all fine, or like as an Alpha he can possibly know how I’m feeling. “Thanks,” I muffle the words into his chest.
Being held by him helps, but I don’t want to tell him that. I’m humiliated enough already. “I was always happy as a Beta,” I whisper. “I liked who I was.”
I know there are Betas who wish they were Alphas or Omegas, wishing they could be considered powerful and strong, the biggest and baddest in the room, or wishing they could be waited on hand and foot. I know there are Betas that read a lot of Omega fantasy novels, for sure. I’m in the publishing industry, it’s my job to know that kind of thing.
But I’ve never been that person. I have nothing against Omegas, lots of my friends are Omegas, but I’ve always liked who I was. And I had a very specific plan for my life and how it was going to go. I had ambitions.
Now all of that is going up in smoke. I know how the whole Omega process goes and it’ll take weeks if not months out of my life and that’s if I even bond with someone right away. If it takes me a few rounds to bond then who knows how long it could take me. My dreams all put on hold.
“You’ll find someone who will support your dreams,” Easton points out. “It’s not the Victorian age anymore, right? Plenty of Omegas have jobs outside of the home. You know that.”
“It won’t be the same. Don’t lie to me and act like it’ll all be the same. I have a life and now I can’t go back to it.”
Easton swallows. I can feel it. He pulls back and gently grips my shoulders, looking me in the eye. “No, it won’t be the same. But it won’t be the end, either. Are you okay, right now? Be honest with me, please.”
I shake my head. No, I’m not okay. I feel like I’m going to rip my skin off. All I want to do is curl up into a ball and cry. If this is what presenting as an Omega feels like no wonder my classmates all went bonkers. I can’t even imagine how bad a heat will be.
“You need to be taken care of. We do this with Omegas for a reason and it’s for your health. We can’t let you suffer. So let’s contact the local ORD office, and get you settled in, and take it one step at a time, okay?”
He keeps saying we like he’ll actually be there every step of the way. I know that he won’t be, and part of me wants to slap him for it, and part of me just wants to close my eyes and pretend.
I nod, deflating. I’m not sure what other choice I have. It’s not like I want to go into hiding or anything. I’m not trying to be some fugitive. I just want to be able to live my life and build my career.
“Hey, it could be worse.” Easton smiles gently. “You could have William here.”
I burst into laughter, tinged with hysteria and relief. “Oh, god, he’d be awful about it. Talking about how now he has to drop everything to take me to the Omega Resources Division.”
“Well, we’re going to drop everything to take you to the ORD office, and we’ll only complain once,” Easton teases me gently.
I wipe at my eyes. “I’m sorry I’m so emotional.”
“Your entire life just changed. Even a princess like you is allowed to be upset about that.”
“I’m not a princess oh my god.”
“It’s not a bad thing,” Easton teases me. “You’re in a skirt and heels at this bar, though.”
“Okay, I didn’t know I’d be going out to this hole in the wall, I thought I’d be just having a nice dinner with my family, thank you very much.”
“And you wore those heels all day. Get yourself some boots.”
“I have boots.”
“Cute little high-heeled booties, I’m sure.”
I laugh again. “I know what you’re doing. You’re trying to calm me down.”
“Well, is it working?” Easton asks.
Damn it, it is. I still feel uncomfortable and panicky, but better than I did before. “I can’t go right to the ORD. I need to tell my family or they’ll freak out that they didn’t get to say goodbye.”
William would’ve probably driven me directly to the local Omega Resources Division office or made me get a ride for myself so that he could deal with ‘work stuff’. I would’ve had to call Aiden to pick me up and take me and that would’ve been insanely awkward.
Honestly, now that I think about it, it feels so obvious how William didn’t give me the consideration I deserved. I feel stupid for not seeing it before, but maybe I’m only able to see it so well because of how kind these four men who barely even know me are being. Jesse and his pack owe me nothing. Jesse hates me for crying out loud. But they’re here for me, and my ex-boyfriend isn’t.
Easton nods. “Of course. We’ll get you to them. They should be able to say goodbye.” He gives a small, sheepish smile. “I’m sure they’ll be better at comforting you than I am, anyway.”
I inhale his scent, the warm peach cobbler, toasted coconut, and oak barrels underlining it all. It’s insanely comforting. I just want to beg him to hold me.
But I can’t say that. It’s just the hormones talking and he’d be embarrassed. I’m sure if my head were actually on straight I’d agree that my parents would be much better at comforting me right now than he is.
“Jesse?” Easton calls. “We’ve gotta get her home.”
“Of course.” Jesse’s voice is tight and gruff. How odd. He walks on up with a look on his face that I can’t quite decipher. It’s not resigned, and it’s not annoyed, either. “I’ve played more predictable games of poker than you.”
“It’s not like I planned this,” I point out sourly.
Jesse nods at the others. “All right, let’s move out.” Like I’m a damn package he has to deliver in the mail or something. “The last thing I want is the local ORD claiming I was harboring a fugitive.”
I roll my eyes at him, but inside, my stomach clenches.
I really don’t like any of this. I’d give anything to not be an Omega.