10. Grace
Chapter 10
Grace
Being an Omega means that everyone’s scents are stronger, but I swear the scents of these four Alphas are the strongest of all.
I spend the entire drive in a cloud of their masculine, homey, calming scents that make me feel safe and hot at the same time. It’s like a low-grade arousal in the pit of my stomach. I feel certain that the others can tell, even though I know logically they can’t, and it takes everything in me not to climb out the window and fling myself out of the car in embarrassment.
It’s just the stupid Omega hormones, I remind myself. Take deep breaths and calm down.
I can’t help the way my throat gets a little tight as we roll up to the ranch. It’s absolutely beautiful out here, with the wide-open skies and broad swaths of green land in between the snow-capped mountains. Like a postcard.
I grew up around here, sure, but it really does take your breath away every time. It never gets old. And I’ve been away a while.
We drive under the tall wooden archway announcing the name of the ranch: Coyote Ridge. I stare at it. “When did this happen?”
I remember that Jesse grew up with his father on the ranch that his family owned, but the entry is different and so is the path to get up here. I don’t remember it being quite so big either. But maybe that’s just me misremembering. I wasn’t exactly here often. Usually the four friends would turn up at our house instead, so Aiden wouldn’t have to drive all the way out to a ranch.
“Few years ago,” Jesse says, his tone a bit gruff.
We drive up past the fields and a few horses and cows. I point out the window. “My cows.”
“Damn it,” Hendrix mutters under his breath.
It’s a silly game everyone played as kids. The first person to say “my cows” when passing cows won.
We park up out front of a large, beautiful ranch house. Now this place, I remember. It’s Jesse’s family home, and it’s been here for generations. It’s not the original home, the family has renovated it and redone it over the years, but there’s always been a house here ever since the Stone family claimed this land way back when.
“Everything feels bigger. I don’t remember all of this.”
“You wouldn’t.” Jesse is still a bit stiff. “We redid some things.”
I put my hands up. “If you don’t want to tell me, you don’t have to.”
“Don’t listen to him,” Hendrix cuts in. “It’s about him, not you.”
“We combined his family ranch with mine,” Easton explains. “My grandparents retired and let me take over, so we put the two of them together. Made sense since we’re all a pack.”
“When did you officially become a pack?”
“When we combined the ranches.” Jesse’s tone is rough. He clears his throat. “When my dad died.”
My heart drops like a stone. “I’m so sorry, Jesse, I didn’t know.” Jesse’s father is—was—the same age as my parents. He wasn’t that old.
“It was a riding accident.”
“That’s terrible.” I put my hand on his arm. “I don’t have words. I’m so sorry. I’m glad you had your pack mates to support you.”
Jesse’s gaze softens as he finally looks directly at me. “Thank you.” He glances away, out across the fields. “I didn’t know what I was doing. Dad raised me on this ranch, taught me how to do everything, but it’s different being in charge.”
“Especially all by yourself,” Easton adds.
“Good thing he wasn’t really alone,” I point out softly.
Easton smiles at me appreciatively.
“The others saved my ass,” Jesse says firmly. “I had no idea what I was doing, and they swooped in and kept this place from failing. It’s been in my family for years, and thankfully, now maybe it’ll keep going for many more.”
“You’re being too hard on yourself,” Hendrix insists. “You had shit under control. You were just going through a lot. I can’t even imagine the pain of losing a parent.”
“I can. And I know how bad the grief can be,” Cade mutters quietly. He bumps his shoulder with Jesse’s in solidarity. “Of course we’d have your back.”
I find myself smiling softly, my heart warm and full as I watch them. The three other Alphas look at Jesse as their leader, with trust and affection, and he looks at them like he’s not sure how he got so lucky. It tugs at my heart strings, to know they all have each other’s backs.
And I’m glad Jesse wasn’t alone in his grief.
“Well.” Jesse clears his throat. “Let’s show the little lady where she’s going to stay.”
The whole house is lovely. Homey and full of mementos from Jesse’s family and their pasts. I suspect it hasn’t really been touched in some time, though, and I want to ask Jesse and the other Alphas if they’ve added their personal touch to things. It might’ve been in Jesse’s family for generations but it’s their home now. They’re allowed to make it suit their tastes.
I’m led upstairs to what’s obviously a spare room. There’s a bed with a home-made quilt on it, and a wooden dresser with a mirror perched on top, and a landscape painting.
“My great-aunt did that,” Jesse tells me, nodding at the painting. “Her art’s through the whole house.”
Easton clears his throat. “Sorry we couldn’t, uh, decorate more.”
“We didn’t have a lot of time,” Hendrix adds.
I stare at the four of them. Jesse’s staring me down like he dares me to comment, but the other three all look at the floor or out the window. They’re embarrassed, I realize.
“This is lovely,” I insist. I walk over to the bed and pick up the quilt. It’s blue with daisies on it, clearly handmade and with great skill and care. “I love this. I’ve always liked daisies.”
“I know,” Hendrix blurts out.
I look over at him, and find his neck is a bit red. “That’s why I picked that one,” he explains. “There are a lot of quilts in this house.”
I can feel my eyebrows rising and my stomach goes hot and tight. I had no idea that he remembered that about me. I feel stunned.
“I thought it would make you more comfortable,” Hendrix finishes, rubbing at the back of his neck.
“You’re right, it does,” I promise him. And it is very sweet. I’m genuinely touched.
“You must be starved,” Easton says, glancing at Hendrix. He must sense the man’s discomfort. I wonder if they’re not sure what to do with a new person invading their home, but their kindness is appreciated. “Let’s get you some grub.”
I laugh, surprised at myself. “That’d be great, thanks.”
All four men cook, not letting me help. “You deserve to relax a little,” Hendrix insists.
Watching them move around the kitchen together, it’s clear how well they all fit into the space and with each other. How well they all know one another. I’m sure they’ve made dinner like this together a thousand times before.
Maybe a proper Omega would be eager to push her way in there and show them how it’s done, insist that they put their feet up for once, but honestly I feel like an intruder. I’m glad I’m not staying long, because I don’t know that I could find a way to fit when they all fit so well together already. I can’t possibly offer them anything more than they already give each other.
It curdles the pit of my stomach, which is ridiculous. I don’t want to give these four anything. They’re not really my Alphas, and they’re not really trying to court me. I shouldn’t care that there’s no room for me or that I’m out of my element here and can’t do anything better than they can.
In fact I should be elated. It means I’m not depriving them of anything. They’re perfectly happy and ready to go all by themselves.
We all sit down to dinner, and the food is delicious. Simple, but hearty and well-made. I do miss my dad’s cooking, though. I wonder to myself if while we’re staying here, I could ask to make dinner a few times, add in my dad’s little tricks to things. I’m sure the men would appreciate a night or two off, and it’s the least I can do for them after all they’re doing for me.
“So,” I say, steeling myself for this awkward conversation. “I hate to bring this up, but I know we need to talk about it. The fake courting.”
Four pairs of eyes stare at me and I feel heat crawling up my body. I clear my throat. “We need to figure out ground rules.”
“Ground rules?” Hendrix repeats, apparently taken aback. The other three men look just as puzzled.
“Well, we can’t hide out here at the ranch for the fake courting period. Not the whole time, anyway. I don’t want to be cooped up here and I think my family would object to not being able to see me. And people will get suspicious. We have to be seen around town.”
“I don’t follow,” Jesse admits.
“You’re supposed to be courting me. We know it’s fake and you’re just giving me a place to stay while I figure out my next steps. But nobody else knows this. Nobody else can know this or it’ll all be ruined.”
I can’t trust that some well-meaning nosy person wouldn’t report it to the ORD and then not only would I be back at square one, but the four Alphas would be in trouble for helping me. That’s the last thing I want for them. I don’t want them punished for their kindness toward me. It’s my idea, anyway. Not theirs.
“This is a small town. Everybody knows everybody. They’ll know that you bid on me. They’ll talk and we need to make sure they talk about the right things. We’ll have to pretend to actually be courting when we’re in public.”
“I… we hadn’t thought about that.” Jesse glances at the others as if to confirm, and they all nod.
“It’s okay, I didn’t think—I know this is a lot, that I’m asking,” I stumble through my words, my heart beating a little faster. “I don’t want to make anything weird or make you uncomfortable. I don’t think we need to act super cuddly or anything. But I just wanted to know if there are any lines that I shouldn’t cross. Anything I shouldn’t do. Ground rules for what is or isn’t okay.”
All four men stare at me, still looking completely baffled. If I didn’t feel so awkward about all of this, their expressions would make me laugh. I narrow my eyes. “You guys do know how people act when they’re dating, right?”
Jesse bristles. “Of course we do.”
“Oh, so, you’ve had a girl put her hands on your chest like this?” I get up and press my palms onto his chest—and then nearly have a heart attack because wow, that chest is firm. Pure muscle. My mouth goes dry.
Jesse stares at me, stiff all over. He probably hates that I’m touching him, and I wish that I could get my heart to slow down. It must be beating loud enough for all four men to hear it.
We’re not even particularly close, and yet his heat and his smell envelops me. I’m drowning in honey butter, toasted pecans, and freshly baked cornbread. It smells better than the actual food we’re eating, if I’m being honest. I want to bury my nose in his throat and take big gulps.
It’s just your Omega hormones, I tell myself sternly.
All right, yes, so I had a wild crush on Jesse when I was younger. It’s why I… well, it’s best not to think about that embarrassing decision. But I’m an adult. I don’t need to let some latent attraction control me or make life decisions for me.
“Yes,” Jesse replies. “I’m not exactly inexperienced here. You’re the wildcard, not me.”
The idea that I, Grace Whitmore, who didn’t go to parties or break any rules and focused entirely on her career and has had one entire boyfriend her whole life, could be considered a wildcard is simultaneously annoying, flattering, and a bit surreal.
“So would it be fine if I touched you like this in public?” I ask, trying desperately to stay focused.
I want to rub my thumbs in little circles on his chest, to squeeze a little even and feel the muscle give under my touch. Or, rather, how it doesn’t give, because of just how much muscle there is.
Jesse’s still stiff, but he shrugs. I glare at him. “You’ll have to actually act like you like me when we’re out around other people, you realize.”
“Great, will you be able to do the same?” Jesse snorts in return.
I take my hands off him. “I have a new question, is it okay if I flip you off? Or is that too much?”
Hendrix bursts out into laughter. “I could watch you two all day.”
“Watch it, you’re next.”
“Oh, I’m sure.” Hendrix holds out his hand. After a moment of staring at it like an idiot, I realize what he wants and I put my hand in his. Hendrix squeezes it and then kisses the back of it.
I ignore the way my breath hitches in my throat. It’s just hormones. It’s a natural response now that you’re an Omega. So keep it together, Grace.
“What was that for?” I ask, clearing my throat. “Are we in a Jane Austen novel?”
“Aww, I thought that was what you did when you met a princess.”
“I’m not a princess.”
I snatch my hand back as I speak. There’s a fire burning in my chest, and my skin tingles with awareness where he kissed it. I feel completely off balance from that simple gesture, so I decide to turn the tables on him and try to catch him off-guard just like he did to me.
Smiling innocently, I plop onto Hendrix’s lap. “How’s that? If we’re out at a bar or somewhere else casual?”
Hendrix goes stiff as a board. “That’s fine,” he says, his voice a bit strained. He settles his arm around my waist. “Gotta make sure you don’t fall off.”
He’s challenging me right back, and I’m not going to fall for it. I won’t be the one who blinks. I stare him down. “That’s fine. Just don’t cop a feel.”
“If we were really courting, I’d cop a feel.”
“Not if you wanted to keep your hand, you wouldn’t.”
Hendrix smirks as I sass him, seeming to enjoy my mouthy attitude. His body beneath me is still stiff, though. “All right, whatever the princess wants, the princess gets.”
He lifts me off his lap with a strength that has me squeaking in surprise, then sets me down on my feet. My heart is racing and I feel hot all over. I can’t help but wonder what it would be like if he picked me up like that to kiss me, to press me against the wall…
No, I tell myself sternly. We’re not thinking about that. I don’t want that. I’m stronger than stupid biology.
“What about holding hands?” I ask, trying to maintain control of the conversation. “Is that all right? Or is it too, I don’t know, intimate?”
“I’m sure there’ll be a situation that calls for it,” Jesse says, that challenge still in his voice.
“What if I touched the small of your back?” Easton asks, startling me. “Just to guide you or while we’re standing together? That’s a nice subtle thing couples do, right?”
He looks at the other three as if he needs confirmation that he’s right on this, which is just so adorable that I could…
I could do nothing. Because I don’t want to do anything. God, this stupid Omega nonsense is destroying my brain.
The other three nod. “What about kissing?” Jesse asks.
I can’t tell if it’s a challenge or not, because although there’s a glint in his eyes, his entire body is stiff. I hope the idea of kissing me isn’t that horrible to him. I swallow hard. “I’m sure a peck on the cheek is fine. We can always claim we’re just being private. Not everyone is big on PDA, after all.”
All four men glance at each other, then nod at me. “Seems reasonable,” Hendrix says slowly.
They seem to be communicating on a level that I can’t manage, saying something silently with their eyes to one another. I admire their closeness, the fact that they can read each other’s minds and understand one another so well. I also envy it. I’ve never been that close to anyone in my life.
Oh, I love my family. I adore my parents and I know they adore me. Aiden and I have always been close. But this is something different. I find that I crave that kind of connection. I never wanted it before, probably because I didn’t know it was possible.
But while I still think this Omega nonsense is just that, nonsense, and I hate being controlled by my hormones like this, I find I do want a connection like that. A closeness like that.
I shove the thought aside to the back of my mind. I can think about finding someone to fall in love with once I’ve dealt with getting the rest of my life back. Romance isn’t a priority for me. Especially after what William did. I don’t know that I’ll be easily able to trust again after that.
“Great!” My voice sounds too high-pitched and I clear it. “So, now that we’re all good…”
“I mean, I think we should be a little grabby,” Jesse adds. “We’d be possessive of our Omega.”
I can feel the heat crawling up my spine and neck again. I just hope I’m not actually blushing. I don’t want them to see that I’m affected, even though I’m sure they’d politely ignore it.
The idea of one of them pulling me in, kissing me, perhaps leaning in close to murmur something in my ear… it makes me feel like there’s not enough air in the room. It’s probably just the Omega hormones, but that doesn’t change how strongly my body is reacting at the idea of these men touching me and holding me close. Kissing me.
I need to calm the fuck down. I gulp down the rest of my water, then swallow hard and glance around the table.
“Thank you for the food. It was delicious. Glad we cleared that all up, but now that it’s settled, I’d better… get some sleep.”
I tell myself I’m not fleeing as I hurry out of the dining room, but it feels like a lie.