13. Jesse
Chapter 13
Jesse
I can’t stop thinking about Grace.
Again.
I growl and turn off the machine I was using to sort the grain, leaning heavily against the side of it. There’s no one else around to see me. Well, Grace is around, somewhere. Damn her. The other Alphas are in town getting some replacement parts. I trust their judgment and I’d rather not be there while they all argue about what’s the best choice.
Just knowing that Grace is somewhere around here has me jumpy and cranky. I know it’s not her fault—but it’s also all her damn fault.
She just had to go and beg us for help. And because we’re all idiots, we couldn’t resist her. I couldn’t resist her. I’d hoped the whole time we argued that someone, maybe even Easton, since he might actually have the most level perspective out of all of us, would come up with a good reason not to help her.
And yet… I don’t know that there’d be a reason in the world good enough for me to say no to Grace Whitmore when she needs my help.
So now here I am. Having to deal with her presence. Her scent all over the damn place. Her smiles and giggles at the dinner table. Even when she’s not literally in front of me I can see little signs of her presence. The house is cleaner. Things have been moved around a bit. Her laundry hangs outside on the line with ours.
Hendrix and Easton are always teaching her something on the farm. She’s making noises about getting up to learn how to milk the cows, and nobody disturbs Cade’s cow milking time. That’s his personal early morning time away from people. But Cade can’t say no to the damn girl either, same as me.
It’s impossible. I need her to hurry up and get out of here so she can get out of my head, same as five years ago.
I kick the machine, then curse under my breath. No use breaking a toe because I had a fit like a teenager.
Besides, something’s up.
I look toward the stables where we keep the horses. Grace is great with the animals, which warms my heart in a way I don’t want to look at all that closely. I’m doomed enough as it is. But usually she doesn’t just go out there and spend all day with the animals.
Grace is clearly determined to pull her weight and do her part around here, so she helps out with the chores she knows, and tries to learn the ones she doesn’t. There isn’t anything to be done with the horses right now. The stables are cleaned out, they’ve been fed this morning and won’t get fed again until the evening, nothing needs repairing…
I think she might be hiding out there, seeking comfort.
Something was off with her when she came back from the bar last night. I don’t know what it is, but I can tell. She seemed to have something weighing her down. I just can’t guess what it is.
I turn back to the machine. At least finish your damn chores, I tell myself.
When I step inside the ranch house to grab a snack, I find Grace in the kitchen, pouring herself a glass of water.
“Thirsty too, huh?” I ask, trying to keep it casual.
She nods. Quieter than usual.
“Horses treatin’ you right?”
“Yes. They’re so sweet. Nervous though, I didn’t think they’d be so… anxious all the time.”
“That’s why it means a lot when they trust you. And they sure do like you.”
Grace blushes, but it doesn’t seem to really lighten her mood.
I sigh. “Look, if something’s up, you’ve gotta tell me.”
Grace scowls, the stubborn woman. “I don’t have to tell you anything, actually. You’re not really my Alpha and even if you were, I’m allowed a little privacy.”
I put my hands up. “I’m not trying to start a fight, but come on, it’s clear something’s going on. I know you like being a little wildcard but I’m trying to sit down at the table with you, play fair.”
“You and your convoluted poker metaphors,” Grace mutters.
I give her my most charming grin. “Most people like it.”
“I’m not most people.”
And don’t I know it. Grace has never been impressed with me. It’s part of why I was so shocked when she asked me to take her virginity.
I gentle my voice. “Grace, I know when something’s wrong with you. You know you can trust me. I get this situation is… unusual and difficult. But you’re not in it alone. You asked us for help. Let us help you. Let me help you.”
Grace bites her lip. God, she’s gorgeous. She’s got her blonde hair tied back in a braid but some of it is a bit loose around her face from the physical exercise. Her cheeks are flushed, and her eyes shine where they catch the sunlight pouring in through the kitchen window. She’d look gorgeous wearing a potato sack and covered in mud, honestly.
Finally, she sits down in a kitchen chair, her shoulders slumping. “No, I’m… you’re right. I’m not okay.”
“Okay.” I try to keep my tone even so that I don’t betray the way my heart starts racing. There are so many things that could be wrong. Maybe because she presented late she’s got health problems. Maybe there’s a serious issue with her hormones or her reproductive system. I try not to picture the worst options, like cancer. I know it’s probably not that. Grace is young and healthy. But my dad was young and healthy too. You never know what fate might have in store, and how soon and suddenly it can take someone from you.
I sit down at the table with her. “Talk to me, wildcard.”
Her lips twitch up into a begrudging smile. I wink at her, glad I could amuse her even if only for a moment.
“My body… it feels wrong.”
Oh god. It is the worst. “Wrong in what way? You feel sick? We can take you into the city—”
“No, no, not like that. Just like it’s not mine anymore.”
I could scream with relief. I slump in the chair. “Christ, you just about gave me a heart attack.”
Grace glares at me. “What are you talking about?”
“I thought something was—I thought you had cancer or something.”
“What? No!” Grace looks alarmed, eyes wide. “No, I just meant—I don’t know the first thing about being an Omega!”
I frown. “You just… are an Omega.”
“No, I’m not. I’m not ‘just’ anything. You know the expectations. The heats, and providing for a whole pack, and how am I supposed to balance all this biology and work at the same time?”
“Well, you seem to be handling the ranch work well. I wish we could hire some extra hands that were as willing to work as you are. You’ve jumped right in.”
Grace blushes a little. “Thank you.” Then she sobers up again. “What I mean is… I just don’t know what to do with myself anymore. Who I’m supposed to be. So much of being an Omega is about what your body needs. I mean, that’s why they pair us with packs more often than just one Alpha, right?”
“That’s my understanding, yeah.”
It was impressed on us the moment we presented that our job was to pamper and provide for our Omega with everything in us. To make sure that our Omega would never have a moment of discomfort, that any needs would be met. I take that kind of thing seriously—just as seriously as I take my family legacy and handling this ranch.
“I just feel like I’m a stranger in here. I’m not in control anymore.” Tears prick at Grace’s eyes. “My body’s calling the shots. It’s like puberty all over again, except worse, because I’m going through it alone. Everyone already had their presentations, they did this. I’m just… late and alone and stuck.”
My heart breaks to hear her talk in that defeated, scared tone. I want to wrap myself around her tightly and hiss at the world, at anything or anyone that might hurt her. But what am I supposed to do when the thing that’s apparently hurting her is… herself? How can I fix that? I have to find a way.
“Well,” I say slowly, “you might be going through this a bit late. But I’m sure you’re not the only one in this situation. Perhaps there’s some kind of online forum or website you can go to for Omegas who are in this sort of situation, and see how they’re handling it.”
Grace nods. “I hadn’t really thought of that.”
“Well, hey, sometimes you’ve gotta talk these things through.” I reach out and squeeze her hand where it rests on the tabletop. “And even if being a late bloomer is rare, there are other Omegas, right at that ORD facility too. They might be younger but maybe that means in a way they’re more prepared. You can ask them. There have got to be Omegas right here in town you can chat with.”
She pulls a face. “I don’t… I wouldn’t feel comfortable with that.”
“Okay. Can I ask why?”
“Well, they were all so excited to be Omegas. I’m not. I’d want someone who could understand that frustration.”
I nod. “Life likes to throw us some wicked curveballs, huh?”
As I speak, I can’t help but think of my father. God, I wish he was here right now. He pops into my head often, in moments when I wish I could ask for his advice, but especially right now. I want to know how to take care of Grace. How to handle this whole mess in my heart.
Grace laughs softly and wipes at her eyes with her free hand. “Yeah, you could say that.”
“I’m an Alpha, not an Omega. But if there’s anything I can do for you to make this easier, you know you only need to ask. That’s what we bid on you for, you know? We’re here to help you. Any way we can.”
Grace nods. “I just wish I knew… or could practice being an Omega. Does that make sense? That I could do almost a trial run…” Her voice trails off and her eyes go a little wide as she stares at me.
I stare back at her. “What is it?”
“There is a way you could help me,” Grace breathes, and my body floods with heat. I can smell her, her scent growing stronger. Not quite perfuming, but something. “As long as you’re here, and we’re all doing this… you could help me… learn all of it.”
She sounds like she did when she begged me to take her virginity, and my cock grows hot and heavy between my legs. It was torture to resist her then, and I crave her even more now.
“Learn…” I clear my throat, trying to sound steadier than I feel. “Learn what?”
“You could help me learn how to be an Omega.”
“You already know how. You are an Omega, and you’re doing great. There’s nothing for you to learn.”
“Yes there is.” Her voice drops a little.
“What do you mean?”
“Sex. It’s different between an Alpha and an Omega, isn’t it? It’s not the same as it would be if I were a Beta. I need to know these things, Jesse. I just want to feel… I don’t know, prepared .”
Holy fucking shit . I drag in a shaky breath.
Grace squeezes my hand, her voice almost pleading. “You could teach me. Teach me how to be a good Omega. How to please an Alpha in the bedroom.”
My cock strains in the confines of my jeans, and I feel like I’m gonna start panting any second. Oh, she wouldn’t have to do a damn thing to please me. All she’d have to do is let me taste her, bury my face between her legs, then bury my cock in the same place, fuck her until she was screaming my name and squeezing hot and tight around my knot…
Christ. I jump up from my seat, snatching my hand away. “Grace. No.”
“Oh my god, not again.” Grace looks frustrated by my answer, but also like she might cry. I hate it. I hate upsetting her or rejecting her. “Jesse, please. Please, I need this.”
“You think you need it.” My voice is a rough rasp. “But you don’t really, wildcard. It’s just hormones.”
“I’m not saying it’s anything else,” she snaps. “I just want you to teach me how to be an Omega. How to do it right.”
Oh god. I’ve had this fantasy before. A thousand times. “You only want this because you think that you’re not good enough, but don’t listen to that voice in your head. Okay? You don’t need me to do… uh… any of that. You’ll regret it if we do it.”
“You don’t get to tell me what I will and won’t regret.” Grace stands up, her eyes flashing. “This is what I need , Jesse. It’s the only thing that will make me feel like I’m not a stranger in my own skin. So either help me like you said you would and fuck me, or I’ll go find an Alpha who will.”
“Excuse me?” I snarl, but she’s already heading toward the door, like she’s gonna walk all the way into town by herself if she has to. “Like hell you will.”
Absolutely the fuck not. Nobody touches Grace. The idea of an Alpha outside of my pack putting his hands on her—it makes me see red.
Before I even know what I’m doing, I stride quickly across the room, grabbing her and yanking her back. She collides with me, and I feel her gasp as she’s pressed up against my throbbing erection.
Grace’s eyelids flutter, a small whimper pouring from her lips.
“You’re in my house, little Omega,” I murmur roughly. “That means you’re mine . Nobody else’s.”