15. Grace
Chapter 15
Grace
My orgasm shoots to even greater heights of euphoria as I stare at the three Alphas staring right back at me. I tremble and shake and hang on for dear life, helpless as wave after wave of ecstasy has me writhing for their devouring gazes.
But beneath the pleasure is another sensation: a horrible rising tide of embarrassment. And as my orgasm recedes, the embarrassment takes over, threatening to drown me.
I scramble off of Jesse’s face. I’m shaking all over, my legs so wobbly they can barely support me. I don’t know if it’s from the orgasm or the humiliation, or both.
“Jesse?” Hendrix growls. “What the fuck is going on?”
Jesse sits up and wipes off his mouth with the back of his hand. My embarrassment flares higher. I want to burst into tears and hide under the bed. “She asked me to. Insisted, actually.”
I nod frantically. “I did do that,” I stutter out.
“She wanted to… learn all about being an Omega,” Jesse explains, his voice rough. “What it means, what it involves, including in… this way.”
The other three look at me, a curious light in their eyes.
“But it was a terrible idea,” Jesse adds.
I round on him. “ What? ”
“She was going to walk into town and find some random Alpha to fuck her, and there was no fucking way I was gonna let that happen. I couldn’t have her putting herself in danger like that. But I shouldn’t have let things go this far.”
I gape at him. “I—are you—?”
Anger takes over my embarrassment, and I snatch up my clothes, tugging them on.
My face feels so hot that I think if I stuck it in a pot of water, the water would start boiling.
“I didn’t want her doing something rash.” Jesse shrugs, his jaw tight as he wrenches his gaze away from me. “So I made a judgment call. I was just trying to protect her.”
“I see.” Hendrix nods. “I suppose I would’ve done the same.”
His voice is rough and I can see the tent in his pants. Oh, god, he’s hard. I would’ve done the same. The idea of sitting on his face too… of having his fingers inside me… his cock…
My body pulses with need. Everything I did with Jesse didn’t fix things, not at all. Instead, it’s like my body was given a small taste, and now it wants more. I’m starving now, where I was just sort of peckish before.
I want all four of them. I want them to touch me until I can’t even walk or think straight anymore.
“But I also agree that it’s a bad idea,” Hendrix continues. Easton and Cade nod.
Oh, come on . I can smell how turned on they all are, their Alpha scents filling the room and making me feel a bit drunk. And I can see their thick, delicious cocks tenting their pants.
And yet, they all seem to agree that they shouldn’t touch me. Whether it’s because of some misguided feeling of chivalry or because some part of them will never see me as anything but Aiden’s little sister, I don’t know. But it’s driving me fucking crazy.
“Why not?” I demand, doing my best to keep my voice from shaking as emotions roil my chest.
“This isn’t a real courtship,” Easton points out, his voice low. “We don’t want things to get messy, or for you to get hurt. It’s best if we maintain clear boundaries.”
“We just want what’s best for you,” Cade rumbles, his face a mask of distress.
My stomach curls into a knot. You’d think I was planning to jump off a cliff. I could smack them all, honestly. This is infuriating. They might claim they’re trying to protect me, but I don’t feel all that protected. I just feel abandoned and hurt.
“Fine,” I snap, smoothing my clothes out. “Then get out of my way. I’m going on a walk.”
All four Alphas look at one another, their bodies tensing up like they’re ready for a fight. I roll my eyes, huffing out a breath.
“Oh, for fuck’s sake. I’m not going to ask anyone else to ‘help’ me. I just need some space before I knock you all upside the head. And I can’t actually find another Alpha to fuck me anyway,” I snap. “That would ruin the ruse, since we’re supposed to be courting.”
That’s clearly all they care about, anyway—keeping the lie intact. If they really wanted me, they’d have me. Oh, sure, they can dress it up with pretty words about protecting me, but I get it. They want the line in the sand to remain just that.
They might be turned on, but that’s just biology. My scent must be all over the place, and they’re Alphas, they can’t help how their bodies react. Doesn’t mean they want me for real. Clearly they don’t, if they’re able to resist me so easily. They must feel sorry for me, for how desperate I am.
That thought makes tears sting my eyes, and I blink them back, trying to hide them as I make a beeline for the front door.
“Don’t wait up for me,” I snap over my shoulder.
I need to get out of this damn house, and off this damn ranch, before I do something really stupid.
There aren’t a ton of places to go in this small town of ours, especially if you don’t want to be bothered. There’s the one bar we went to where I realized I’m an Omega, but I’m not exactly looking to go back to the place where I publicly humiliated myself.
Instead, I head in the opposite direction. If I remember correctly, there’s a dive bar or something like that in between our town and another one farther south, on the border of the state park.
It takes me quite a while to walk there, but sure enough, it’s right where I remembered. It’s the kind of place that doesn’t even have a sign out front. Perfect .
Hopefully I’ve picked a place far enough away from the town that nobody I know will be there, and I can be left in peace. I don’t need anyone wondering why, instead of being cooped up on the ranch in courting bliss, I’m drinking alone with a sour look on my face.
The bar’s pretty empty, not surprising given that it’s a weekday and not very late yet. I take a seat at the bar. I don’t think this place has cocktails, so I get a bourbon from the bartender.
The man’s brows rise a little at seeing me, but he doesn’t make a comment about what a little lady like me—or, worse, a little Omega—is doing here by herself, so that’s a win. I don’t want to get thrown out for getting into a fight with the man serving drinks.
“Thanks,” I murmur as my bourbon is set down in front of me. I like it better than whiskey since it’s a little sweeter. I down it, then set it down. Contemplate the glass. “Can I get another?”
The bartender shrugs. “Sure.”
It doesn’t take long before I’m wonderfully, pleasantly drunk.
I have my arms folded on the bar top and rest my cheek on them. “I haven’t been this drunk in forever,” I say dreamily. “It’s so nice. I’ve drunk so much stupid wine the last year. Did you know that it’s all fake?”
“What’s all fake?” the bartender asks amicably. He doesn’t really have any other customers so he seems happy to let me talk at him.
“Wine,” I insist. “I mean, sure, a fifty dollar bottle is going to taste better than a ten dollar bottle. Maybe even a hundred dollar bottle. But after that? So not worth it. It literally all tastes the same.”
“Uh huh.”
“I love cocktails,” I confess. “I like the fruity flavors. But I couldn’t have more than one. Maybe two? My boyfriend didn’t want me to make a scene and I’m small so I’m, like, a huuuuuuge lightweight.”
“I couldn’t tell,” the bartender says, deadpan.
I laugh. “You’re an asshole. But that’s okay. I’m gonna leave you a big tip anyway for putting up with me.”
“Thanks.”
I look around the bar. It’s getting pretty late, and there are some other people here now, some rough-looking types, but they’re all keeping to themselves. That’s nice. That’s all I need: to be left alone.
“You, uh, don’t mind me asking,” the bartender says, “but is there a reason you’re here getting drunk as a skunk? Someone break your heart?”
“Oh, god, I wish it was that. That’d be so much easier, you know? I did have my boyfriend cheat on me but that was like, I mean I was angry but it was so not a problem once I had a minute to think about it. He was an ass. I can’t believe I didn’t see it.”
“Sorry about that.”
“No, no, it’s fine. He’s gone. Whatever.” I wave my hand blearily. “It’s just me. I’m the problem.”
“Uh, I don’t think it’s ever your problem if someone cheats on you.”
“No I mean like I don’t know who I am anymore.” Tears well up in my eyes and the bartender looks a little alarmed, poor guy. “I feel… so lost… I knew who I was! I had a five-year plan and everything! I had a great job… now I’m all… this. And I don’t even know what this is! And nobody wants me like this!”
“Right.” The bartender still looks confused. “I’m going to go serve those guys and I’ll be right back, okay?”
“Sure, fine. Leave me just like everyone else,” I mutter, waving a hand.
“Uh huh. Don’t fall off that barstool.”
My phone buzzes and I frown down at the screen. Cade.
Why is Cade texting me? Ugh.
I open up the text. It’s pretty simple.
CADE: Are you okay? It’s getting late.
ME: I’m fine. Not like you care anyway. I’m a bigggggg girrrrl. You don’t gotta worry bout me.
Not my most articulate text, but it’s fine. I send it anyway. I’m not going to try to retype it when my thumbs feel so clumsy.
CADE: Well, now I’m even more worried.
I snort and peer down at the screen as I tap out another text.
ME: What are you, my dad? Don’t worry about it. I got a new friend and he’s taking care of me sooooooo much better than you guys.
Sure, I mean that emotionally, not sexually, but Cade doesn’t need to know that. Let him suffer and worry a little. It’s good for the soul. It’s probably the alcohol talking but I’m feeling hurt, and alone, and petty, and I want revenge for the humiliation and rejection.
CADE: What do you mean? Where are you? Are you okay? Are you safe? Grace?
ME: Oh my god, you’re such a worrywart! I told you, I’m a big girl. I’m fiiiiiine.
CADE: What are you doing?
ME: I’m just having some drnks. Drinks. Drunk. You know. I’m trying to relax. Ever heard of it? You never relax. You’re always so grumpy.
I put my phone down. I’m ignoring him. He doesn’t deserve my attention anyway. I hold my hand up. “Hey,” I call to my new best friend. “Can I get another one?”
The bartender sighs. “Your credit card is going to hate you tomorrow.”
“Don’t worry.” I push my little empty glass toward him with a dopey grin. “I already hate my life, why not add some credit card debt to it?”
After all, if I’m going to be stuck in this situation, I’m damn well not going to endure it anymore while sober. And Cade and the other three can just go screw themselves.