19. Grace
Chapter 19
Grace
Silence reigns for a long moment as I stare around the table at everyone.
“Is that true?” I finally sputter out.
And am I the last one to hear about it?
“It is,” Aiden says grimly. “They’re the worst kinds of Alphas, the kind that give us all a bad reputation.”
I don’t know what to say. I had no idea that my family was ever in trouble, and guilt swims in my gut all over again over how long I was away. I’m not happy about this whole Omega situation, but if there’s a silver lining to it, it’s that it’s forced me to spend more time around my family and to catch up on all the things that I missed.
Even when I get back to New York, I’m not going to stay out of touch for so long. I’m going to be better about checking in and knowing what’s going on with my family. I should’ve known about this. I should’ve been there. While what Jesse and the Alphas did is kind, my family shouldn’t have had to turn to someone else and rely on their help. I should’ve done something.
There’s some weird tension and quiet as everyone digs into the dessert. Mostly from the Alphas. I think they’re embarrassed by the attention. That makes sense to me for Easton and Cade, but not so much for Jesse and Hendrix. I wonder what’s going on.
At least my family seems unaware of it or willing to overlook it. They keep up the chatter just fine, and I dive into talking with them until it’s finally time to clean up and head out.
I help with the cleanup, just like I’m a kid again, automatically bringing in the dishes and helping with washing and drying.
Hendrix’s parents and Easton’s grandparents all hug me before they head out, and when it’s time for me and the Alphas to leave, I embrace my family tightly. I’m so grateful for them, and I love them so much. I don’t know how to apologize to them for not being there. I know they’d just brush it off and insist that it was all fine, but it’s not fine to me.
I promise myself, again, that I’ll be there from now on. I’ll make sure they know they can depend on me and share their troubles with me. I’m going to be a better daughter, sister, and granddaughter.
When we get into the pickup to head back to the ranch, though, I can’t help but speak up. “Were you ever going to tell me you did that for my family?”
The Alphas all look at one another. “Like I told your parents,” Jesse insists, “it’s not a big deal.”
“It is a big deal. You should’ve told me.”
He snorts. “There’s no ‘should’ here. We’re not obligated to tell you anything about it.”
“We’ve been friends with your brother pretty much our whole lives,” Hendrix points out. “And we love your family. Of course we were going to help out if we could.”
“Besides,” Jesse adds, “the McAllisters are assholes.”
Easton snorts in agreement and Cade grunts.
I don’t disagree with them. I haven’t thought about the McAllisters in ages, but now that my memory has been jogged, it’s all coming back. I can remember them from when we were younger—pushy, entitled assholes, from what I recall. Bullies on the playground when we were kids, and then rowdy, cruel jocks in high school.
Still, it is a huge deal. My brother’s friends can try to brush it off all they want, but I don’t care. They’re good men, and they deserve to be thanked properly for their generosity and support.
We get back to Coyote Ridge and park, and I hop out of the car, then wait by the front door.
The four Alphas all give me suspicious looks as I stand by the front door, smiling as sweetly and innocently as I can manage.
“What are you up to?” Jesse asks.
“Nothing. Just unlock the door and go in.”
“Uh huh. Did you booby trap it before we left or something?”
“I would never.”
“You absolutely would. I grew up with you, remember, wildcard? I wouldn’t put a damn thing past you. I know the conniving brain that hides behind those pretty blue eyes.”
I gesture at the door. “Go on.”
Jesse sighs, unlocks it, and steps up to go inside.
I hop up onto my tiptoes and kiss him on the cheek. “Thank you.”
He freezes in place, turning to stare at me. “For opening the front door?”
“For helping out my family,” I tell him, my voice softening. “You say it’s not a big deal, but I don’t care. They all got to thank you and I haven’t. So this is me thanking you.”
If I’m being honest with myself, I’d like to thank him—all of them—in a much more intimate way. But I know they won’t appreciate it if I offer, so I just stick to a kiss.
Jesse stares at me for a moment, the same fire blazing in his eyes that I saw right before he kissed me, then drags in a breath and strides into the house.
I feel like I just won some kind of battle.
Easton is next. I kiss him soft and lingering on his cheek, inhaling his scent. He shivers, then quickly goes inside. Then it’s Cade, who presses into the kiss for a second before yanking himself away and going in.
Hendrix is last. He’s got a look in his eyes like he’s daring me to try it, but you bet I kiss him on the cheek anyway. He doesn’t scare me.
I pull back, my nose full of all four of their scents, my lips tingling from the warmth of their skin and the light scrape of stubble over my mouth.
“Thank you,” I repeat to him in a whisper.
“You’re welcome,” Hendrix says, voice rough. Then he strides inside with the others.
I stand out on the porch for a moment. Unsure what to do next or even what to think of my own daring. I’ve pushed the envelope a lot today, especially with Hendrix, and I’m not sure where I go from here.
I end up going to my room and reading a book I snagged from the shelf in the living room. I think it originally belonged to Jesse’s mother. It’s a romance novel, and I can’t help but think about my own writing, and how much I enjoy writing my own romance novels but also how fake I feel when I do it.
After a little while, there’s a knock at the door. “Come in,” I call.
I close the book as the door opens. It’s Hendrix.
He leans against the door frame. “I want to take you somewhere.”
I’m still wearing his shirt from earlier, and my stomach goes tight. I feel bad now for what I did, and how I pushed him. Especially now that I know the kindness he and his pack showed toward my family. “Sure thing.”
To my surprise, he has me get back in the pickup, and drives me into town. “Where are we going?”
“You said that you don’t have a lot of clothes. You had to wear something from your ex.” Hendrix pauses. “You shouldn’t have to wear anything of his. And I know you… you like to dress a certain way. To feel pretty. So I thought we could get you some more clothes. Do a little shopping. You shouldn’t keep living out of a suitcase.”
I’m touched, my heart melting. “That’s—Hendrix, that’s so kind of you. Thank you.”
Maybe he feels a little bad for losing his own temper earlier. He shrugs. “Don’t worry about it.”
“You all keep saying that as you do all these lovely things for other people. I know what you are, the four of you.”
“Oh?”
“Good men. You can’t deny it. You are.”
Hendrix flushes a little and clears his throat. “Well, keep it to yourself, if you please.”
“If I please. And you call me fancy.”
Hendrix chuckles.
He is right, I really do need more clothes. And not just because I’m wearing the same few sets over and over. The clothes that I have with me aren’t at all suitable for working on a ranch. I don’t want to get rid of them. I really do love being fancy and elegant, wearing skirts and dresses and heels. But I’m not going to do that while I’m scrubbing out the barn, feeding the animals, or mending fenceposts. I’m not the kind of person who insists on wearing whatever they want, no matter how unsuitable the outfit is for the occasion.
There’s not much shopping to do in town, honestly, so we have to go the next town over to a larger area, where there’s this cute little “downtown” with a row of independently-owned shops.
“I remember begging Aiden to drive me here with my friends before I was old enough to drive,” I reminisce as we find parking.
Hendrix chuckles. “I remember him complaining about that. We’d drive over too and meet him so that he could hang out with us while you hung out with your friends.”
“It was fun, even though we didn’t have any money to spend, really. We’d just window shop, try on things and hang out.”
“Well, you do have money to spend this time,” Hendrix says warmly. “Knock yourself out.”
I can feel my face flushing. I’m not going to actually spend a ton of money. I would never take advantage of Hendrix or anyone else that way. But it is nice that I don’t have to worry about spending my own money. I have some savings but goodness knows what’s going on in my bank account with how long I’ve been away from work.
We go into different shops and I focus on finding some practical clothes for working around the ranch. Hendrix seems surprised. “No dresses?”
I shrug. “I don’t really need those around the ranch.”
“But you love them.”
“Do you want me wearing something impractical while I’m trying to help gather eggs from the chickens?”
“I’m just saying. You might need something. If we go out somewhere nice.”
“Uh huh.” I look over at the boutique across the street. “I can get myself a dress if it’ll make you happy.”
“Making you happy will make me happy,” Hendrix replies, his tone far more sincere than I expected.
I’m starting to suspect that Hendrix is much more sincere and has a lot more depth than I’d given him credit for.
We get into the store and I browse, holding up different dresses and seeing how the colors look against my skin. There’s this pretty yellow one that draws my eye, a soft buttery color. It’ll be short, showing off my legs, and it’s got an embroidered waistband with flowers that seem to be daisies.
I can feel myself smiling. When I look over at Hendrix, he has this soft, fond look on his face. “You want it.”
“Well, let me try it on first to see if it even looks good on me.”
“Trust me, it’ll look good.” He follows me to the dressing room anyway.
I try the dress on. It fits, and it does seem to look nice. “I’m coming out.”
Hendrix’s brows rise as I step out of the room. “Wow.”
“Yeah?” I do a little twirl. “You think so?”
“I know so.”
“Well then.” I look at myself in the three-way mirror. It really does look pretty on me. I like it a lot. “If you’re sure…”
“Oh, I’m sure. Go change back before half the store falls in love with you.”
“Flatterer.” I go back into the room and try to ignore my racing heart. “I’m paying you back for all this, you know.”
“Uh, no you’re not.”
“Yes, I am. I have my own job and everything. I’m not a child. And just because I’m an Omega doesn’t mean I can’t pull my weight.”
“I never said that. And don’t let anyone else in society say that to you, either.”
“I’m going to get my job back,” I insist when I get back out of the changing room, dress in hand. “I’m going to get on with my life. And when I do, I want to pay you back for your kindness. I’m not taking advantage of you or your wallet.”
“You’re always so stubborn.” Hendrix smiles at me. “That’s how I knew you’d succeed.”
“Oh? You—you thought that, huh?”
“Yup. I always knew if any one of us was getting out of this town and making something of themselves, it would be you. I wasn’t surprised when I heard you worked in publishing. I just thought it would be as a writer.”
I stare at him as Hendrix takes the dress from me and goes up to the counter to pay for it. “A writer?” My voice comes out a bit strangled.
He pays and takes the bag they put the dress in, then gets the door for me as we walk out. “Yeah. I remember your short stories in English class. I thought they were great.”
“Oh. I didn’t know. We weren’t in the same class.”
“I know. I saw you throwing something away once and it was right on top so I grabbed it, you seemed so upset. It was this story you’d written. I…” Hendrix trails off, then rubs at the back of his neck. “I still have it, actually.”
I know what story he’s talking about. Maybelle had ripped it out of my hands and read it out loud in a mocking voice, calling me a nerd, laughing at my silly dreams. I’d thrown the story away, convinced I was a terrible writer, that I would never be good at what I really wanted.
“I had no idea.”
“Well.” Hendrix shrugs. “Makes me sound like a stalker.”
“No, it makes you sound sweet.” I pause, then, before I can lose my courage, I add, “I still write, sometimes.”
“You do?” Hendrix sounds pleased.
“Yes. Just dabbling, honestly. It’s a hobby, that’s all.”
“I think it could be more than that, if you wanted it to be. That story you wrote had a lot of potential. I know you were young and it was high school but if that’s what you wrote when you were sixteen I’m sure you’ll really knock it out of the park now.”
My face is probably redder than a sunset. “Oh, I don’t know about that.”
“I mean it!” Hendrix insists.
I shake my head. “Hendrix, that story was crap. You want to know why I threw it away? Someone read it out loud in front of a bunch of other people. They all told me how bad it was. How untalented I was. I was teased a lot for being a nerd, back then.”
“Well, they were assholes, and they were wrong.” Hendrix’s eyes blaze with conviction, like he’s going to find Maybelle and every other classmate who laughed at me and beat the shit out of them all these years later. “You’re perfect just how you are, and that includes your writing. You shouldn’t change a thing about it or yourself.”
Something tightens in my chest. “I don’t know what to say to that,” I whisper, biting my lip.
“Then don’t say anything. Just accept it, because it’s the truth.”
We walk for a bit, just vaguely window shopping. There’s a lingerie store. I remember being a teenager and feeling it was so scandalous to go inside, my friends and I giggling together over the negligees and thongs.
“Now, if we were really courting,” Hendrix says, his tone flirtatious, “and we walked past here, I’d say I had a few ideas for how you could thank me for what I said a minute ago.”
I laugh. “You’re incorrigible.”
“Only when it comes to you.”
The thing is, a few months ago, I would’ve just said that he says that to all the girls. But now… now I wonder. “Do you mean that?”
Hendrix stops walking. “What?”
“When you say you’re only incorrigible like that with me, do you mean it?”
Hendrix stares at me like I just asked him if two plus two equals four. “Yes. I mean it.”
I feel like I can’t quite get my breath back. “Are you actually flirting with me? And no, I know you flirt with everyone, that’s not what I mean. There’s a difference. Are you flirting with me?”
Hendrix shrugs. There’s something resigned about it. “Have been for a long damn time.” He gives me a small, crooked smile. “It’s about time you finally noticed.”
He starts walking again, leaving me to try to figure out how to quell my racing heart.