41. Grace
Chapter 41
Grace
The auction is several hours away, so the men have to set out early when the time comes. They tell me I don’t have to get up, but I insist on it, so that I can say goodbye.
I make sure they’ve got everything they need. It’s so weird to have them going out while leaving me alone on the ranch. If it weren’t for the circumstances, I’d actually be pretty honored, to know that they trust me to run things and take care of the chores while they’re gone.
I say goodbye to Jesse last. After I kiss him goodbye, he murmurs, “I’ll miss you too.”
“What?” I stare at him in surprise. “I didn’t say anything.”
“You didn’t have to.” He winks at me. “I can feel your emotions, remember?”
I swat at him playfully. “That doesn’t mean you have to call me out!”
“If I don’t call you out, who will? That’s my favorite thing to do!” Jesse dodges my next swat. “Hey! It’s too early in the morning for this!”
“You started it!”
It does lift my mood, to goof off a little. I’m laughing, and I have a smile on my face as I wave them off. I know they’ll be exhausted by the time they get back, especially if they’re going to deal with the McAllisters along the way. But if all goes well, the empty cattle trailer they’ve got hitched up behind them will have a few new bulls in it as they return, to strengthen our stock and fill out the herd.
I’m so proud of them. I know how hard ranching is nowadays, with big corporations squeezing out the smaller family-owned places. But my Alphas are holding out and staying strong, and I love them for it.
Well, that is—damn it.
I use the chores to distract myself, so I won’t worry or get too much into my own thoughts. There’s a lot to get done since I’ll be the only one on the ranch. I can’t quite handle everything, but there’s still a lot that I can do, and I want to handle as much as I can so that I can show the Alphas when they get back. I don’t want them to have to play catch-up on the work when they return.
It's meditative to do everything, and I’m surprised by how much I already know and how much I can do. I’m stronger than I was just a couple months ago as well, able to lift and shove and pull things along more than I thought I would. I was always too busy at work in New York to exercise a lot, and I hated going to the gym anyway. I feel a lot healthier out here.
As I finish up to head into the ranch house for a proper dinner and to take a nice relaxing bath, I notice the daisies in full bloom along the walk. They’re thriving, and they’re a nice little touch as you head up into the porch.
I smile helplessly. They make me smile, because they’re my favorite, but they also make me smile because it’s a sign that this place is mine too, made nice for me with the things that I like.
It makes me feel like this place is my home too.
That introduces more complicated feelings, but I ignore them for now and focus on making dinner. I warm up some leftovers that Easton made the other day, some delicious potatoes au gratin, green beans with bacon, and delicious shredded chicken that was cooked with taco seasoning.
Easton really is a fabulous cook. They all are. I appreciate that about the Alphas—that they didn’t hope for an Omega to come in and do all the housework and cooking. They know how to do all those things too and they still take turns even now that I’m here.
My phone pings with texts from the men in the group chat, letting me know that they’ve arrived safely for the auction tomorrow and are excited for it. They’ve taken some pictures too, to show me what an auction looks like, and I can’t help but smile at how hard they’re working to make me feel included even when I can’t physically be there.
ME: And how is everyone? Did you guys get in touch with Grady?
JESSE: Right away. We’ve been busy the last few hours, sorry it took us so long to text you.
HENDRIX: We had to put out a few fires.
I bite my lip. I was afraid of that.
ME: I hope that you’re all eating and taking care of yourselves. Don’t run yourselves ragged .
HENDRIX: Or what?
EASTON: Don’t worry. We have a lot of people who trust us. They’ll believe us when we explain that nothing’s true. And they’ll put in a good word for us with others. We just had to let them know that there’s even a rumor campaign in the first place. That way it’s not just the four of us working overtime.
ME: I’m glad you have such loyal friends.
I smile to myself as I type. I know that they’ve earned that loyalty.
JESSE: We’re feeling better about being able to take care of this.
That’s probably the closest he’ll ever get to admitting he was worried about all of this.
ME: Keep me posted.
I press send on the text, then I focus on eating and going over my notes to myself for my story that I’ve been working on.
It is coming to a time where I think I’ll have to actually ask someone else to take a look at this story to give me thoughts on revisions and the idea makes me incredibly nervous. I think I might be able to trust the Alphas, though. If they’re interested.
Once I would’ve said that they were clearly too biased, and that all of Hendrix’s praise, for example, was unwarranted. It was because he liked me that he thought my writing was good. But now I’ve come to realize just how insecure I am, and how I need to give myself more grace. I’m better liked, and more talented, than I thought.
So… maybe it won’t be so bad, to let the men take a crack at the story. Give me their thoughts.
I get more texts from them as I clean up dinner, letting me know that they’re wrapping things up and heading to the motel for the night before the auction tomorrow. From the tone of their texts, things are going a lot better for them and they pretty much have the situation under control.
I’m so relieved for them. It makes the knot of tension in my chest loosen, and I’m able to have a nice, relaxing bath. In fact, while I’m in the bath, I can’t help but think about what I would do if they were here with me right now—or if I were there with them. A motel isn’t glamorous but I’m sure we could make it work and have fun.
I dry off and bite my lip as I pull out my pajamas. I’m not quite ready to put them on. I miss the Alphas, I miss what we would be doing if we were together.
Beneath my underwear and pajamas are the sex toys that got delivered what feels like a lifetime ago. I haven’t played with them alone yet. I’ve much preferred to do things with the Alphas instead—to have a real life person to touch and interact with in sex. Toys just seem so impersonal and cold to me.
But looking at them right now…
Jesse said I miss you too. He could feel my worry. We’ve been able to sense each other’s emotions—and the men were teasing me for how hard I came with Cade when the two of us went out that day. If they can feel my orgasms… well, I have to wonder just how intense it can get. How deep our connection can go.
Grinning, I dig into the bottom of the drawer and pull out the toys that Cade got me back when we all thought we weren’t going to actually be having sex with each other.
I’ve never used any of them because I didn’t want my first time to be with toys, then later because I had four Alphas who were all too willing to take care of me. I’ve never needed them.
Until now.
Because now that I know there’s some sort of connection with the Alphas where they can feel what I feel, and now that they’re hours away at the auction, it’s the perfect opportunity for me to toy with myself—and their feelings—at the same time. To playfully torture them the same way they sometimes do to me when they edge me during sex.
I carry the toys over to the bed and drop them onto the mattress. There are a couple of dildos in various sizes, one of which has a fake knot, a string of anal beads, and a two-pronged vibrator. A thrill runs through me just looking at all of them, and part of me hopes the men can already pick up on the rush of emotions in my chest.
The vibrator seems the most interesting, so I pick it up and flip the switch to see if it works. It hums to life, almost tickling in my hand, and I bite my lip at the thought of what it would feel like. My heart starts to beat a little faster as I settle onto the bed, feeling the softness of the comforter against my bare skin.
I hold the humming vibrator above my clit, and it seems to stretch up to it, like a flower toward the sun. When the toy reaches my skin, I yelp and yank it away, nearly dropping it because it’s so intense and unlike anything I’ve felt before.
It’s faint, like an echo in a long hallway, but I swear I feel a reaction from the men despite the physical distance between us. It’s a pang in my heart, like they think I’m hurt or in danger.
I don’t want them to get the wrong idea, so I lower the toy back down onto my clit and keep it there. My toes curl at the sensation it sends ricocheting through me, and my head falls back with a low groan.
I twist the vibrator in my hands, hitting my clit with different angles, and my mind races with images of the men. It’s hard to choose which of them I’d want between my legs like this, so I fantasize about all four of them taking turns at it instead and hope that the thrill that speeds through my veins about each one of them crosses the connection we have to reach them.
The fantasies are turning me on even more, so I decide to get a little bolder and find out what these double prongs are all about. I’m already good and wet from the clitoral stimulation alone, so I switch the vibrator off then slowly insert the longer prong into myself. It’s not particularly large, so it’s easy to take, but it still feels nice inside me.
The second, smaller prong is perfectly situated against my clit now, and I shudder at the thought of what it’s going to feel like when I turn the toy back on.
If you can take two cocks at once, you can handle this, I remind myself. And just think about how amazing it’s going to feel.
My thumb flips the vibration back on, and I have to clamp down on my lip to keep from filling the whole house with my cries when it does. It feels like every nerve in my body has surged to life, like I’ve been plugged into an electrical outlet, and if my toes were curling before, it’s nothing compared to now.
“Fuck,” I gasp as images of the men taking turns using me for their pleasure flash in my mind. It’s Cade and Easton first, with both of their cocks buried inside me at the same time. My pussy throbs at the memory, and something in my chest lurches. It’s desire, hot and raw, but it’s not mine. Or at least it’s not entirely mine.
My phone pings on the bedside table, startling me.
I don’t even have to check it to know who it is, but I turn off the vibrator and sit up to reach for my phone anyway. Sure enough, there’s a new text in my group chat with the men—and it’s from Easton.
EASTON: What are you doing?
Smirking, I toss the phone on the bed beside me and decide to show him rather than tell. I turn the vibrator back on and turn up the intensity while I imagine Easton’s tender, hot mouth between my legs, sucking my clit and lapping at my pussy. Again, I feel a foreign lurch inside me, but it’s even hotter this time. My phone chimes back-to-back, three times in a row, so I pause the vibrator to check.
EASTON: Are you doing what I think you’re doing?
CADE: I bet she’s using the toys I bought her.
JESSE: Holy shit, you tease!
I could just say yes, but why stop there? Why not make them a little crazier, knowing that I’m here all alone and taking care of myself? I grab my phone and lean back on the bed, spreading my legs nice and wide as I aim the camera between them to snap a picture of the vibrator impaling my pussy.
I attach it and press send before I can change my mind.