Episode 138
EPISODE 138
REMEMBERING WHO YOU ARE II
Ariel
I shed my robe, revealing my naked body. “The three of us...in my suite.”
“That’s an offer we shouldn’t refuse,” Sebastian says.
Shouldn’t? What the heck is that supposed to mean?
“But I have to, sweetheart,” Sebastian continues. “I’m beat as hell.”
“Oh. I understand.” Though I bet if Heather were here, and we both wanted to take him to his suite, he’d be on board. “It is late.”
“It’s not the late hour,” he says. “It’s just this day. It’s been... Well, I don’t have to tell you.” He glances at my bandage.
“Go on up to bed then, Seb.” Alex meets my gaze, his hazel eyes dancing. “I, for one, am happy to keep Ariel company.”
Alex—tonight he’s not wearing his glasses—burns me with his green-gold gaze.
I pick up my robe and quickly slide it back over my shoulders. What in tarnation was I thinking, stripping for Alex and Sebastian? Trying to act like some kind of seductress?
That’s not me, and Sebastian sure seemed to know it.
He couldn’t get away fast enough.
“Shame to cover up that gorgeous body of yours,” Alex says, his voice low.
My cheeks warm as I tie up the sash.
I really should stop trying to be someone I’m not.
Maybe Heather was right. I’m a little Southern belle.
Except that’s not right either. I left school at sixteen. I lost my virginity to Nelson in the back of his pickup, only to have him dump me afterward. I’m a roller waitress at a fast-food place.
Hardly belle material.
I’m not na?ve. Hardly. I was forced to grow up way before the rest of the women here. I’m just young and inexperienced. These men are all thirty-five years old. That’s thirteen years my senior. Maybe I was better off with Marc and Zion, though they couldn’t get away quickly enough either.
“You all right, Ariel?” Alex asks, breaking the silence.
I take a deep breath, forcing my fluttering heart to calm down as I muster the courage to meet his gaze. “I’m fine.” My voice is barely a whisper.
He steps closer, tilting his head. “It’s been a weird twenty-four hours,” he says. “Last night seems like a lifetime ago. But that’s when you and I were going to watch one of my movies but stayed outside instead.”
“You picked me jasmine,” I say. “And you kissed me.”
“And you invited me to your room.”
My cheeks get warmer.
Yes, I invited him to my room. He came. But he wouldn’t have sex with me. And then, just this morning, I made a complete ass of myself with that threesome with him and June.
“Would you rather be with June?” I clasp my hand over my lips.
I don’t know where those words came from. They popped out like a frog hopping off a lily pad.
Alex takes my hand, moving it away from my mouth and entwining our fingers together. “At the moment, I want to be with you, Ariel.”
He sounds so sincere that I want to believe him.
“But what about when the moment passes?” I murmur, looking down at our intertwined hands.
Alex chuckles lightly. “What if it doesn’t?” He lets go of my hand and traces circles in my palm with his thumb.
I sigh and pull my hand away. “I don’t think this place is good for me.”
“I’m not sure it’s good for any of us,” Alex replies.
I drop my jaw.
“Not what you expected?” he asks.
“No. I mean... I meant it when I said it’s not good for me . But I didn’t expect you to say it’s not good, period.”
He rubs his hand over his forehead. “Let’s just say things haven’t exactly gone as planned, but one thing did. I met you.”
His words trickle over me like warm honey on a fresh biscuit. “And that’s good?”
He cups my cheek. “That’s very good.”
“I should apologize then. About this morning...”
“I enjoyed this morning.”
I huff. “I’m sure you did. But it’s not me.”
“You didn’t have fun? ”
“No,” I say adamantly. “I mean, a lot of it felt good. But frankly, Alex, I didn’t like sharing you, especially with June.”
He smiles, and oh my God, my heart nearly melts.
“I understand what you mean. I wouldn’t want to share you with another man. I don’t think I could take it. But Ariel, you and June came to me.”
“That’s not the point, Alex.” I step back and cross my arms. “I don’t want to share you with her. Or anyone else.”
His eyes flicker with something I can’t read before settling back to the calm empathy he usually displays. “Okay.” He steps forward and reaches for me, but I step back once again.
“I asked you for sex last night,” I say. “You refused. Then I came to you with June this morning. And tonight? The first thing I do when I see you and Sebastian is take off my robe and stand naked, trying to seduce the two of you. I wouldn’t blame you for what you’re probably thinking of me. Actions speak louder than words and all. But this isn’t me, Alex. I’m competing with women who are so beautiful and worldly. Women who treat threesomes like just another Saturday afternoon shopping spree. So I tried to be like them, but the truth is that I’m just not. None of that is what I want.”
Alex smiles. “I didn’t think it was. Why do you think I didn’t sleep with you last night? It sure wasn’t because I didn’t want to.”
I raise my eyebrows.
“It would have been a mistake,” he continues. “I could see it on your face that you weren’t sure about what you were doing. I couldn’t take advantage of that.”
“But I asked you to...” I mutter, looking away.
“I know you did.” He moves closer again, gently turning my face back towards him with a finger under my chin. “But just because you ask doesn’t mean it’s what’s best for you. ”
“How do you know what’s best for me?”
“I don’t,” he admits. “But I know that rushing into something while you’re confused isn’t generally the best idea.”
I stare at him in silence, digesting his words. He’s right. Of course, he’s right. In my desperation to fit in, to compete with the likes of June and Heather—heck, even Emily—I was a square peg trying to fit into a round hole
And Emily? She’s with River right now. The man I wanted to get to know...
But as I look at Alex—at his dark hair, hazel eyes, gorgeous body—I see him in a different light.
He sees me.
He respects me.
Brett refused to fuck me, but it was because he made a deal with himself.
Sebastian may have fucked me, but then he suggested a threesome with Heather. I had a great time for sure, but he’s not serious about me.
River has never given me a second glance.
But Alex?
Alex asked me what I wanted for dinner last night, and then he told the chef to prepare me a Southern feast.
Alex talked to me, got to know me. Picked me jasmine and kissed me with desire and passion.
And then, when I asked for sex, he said no.
He said no because he wasn’t sure it was what I wanted.
And he was right.
“I meant it last night when I said you were special,” he says. “That you astounded me. That I had an amazing time with you, which surprised me. I didn’t think you and I would have anything in common, but I was wrong.”
I don’t reply .
“I want to be honest with you about something.”
I swallow. “Okay.”
“I had sex with Sienna the first night.”
My heart drops. Beautiful Sienna, the corporate lawyer. I open my mouth to respond, but he stops me.
“Just wait. I thought she and I had something, and I went for it. But it was too soon, and she’s still hung up on her ex. But with you...” He shakes his head. “You’re so young, and I shouldn’t even be thinking this, but... You’re someone I could truly fall for, Ariel. And I don’t want to screw it up.”