Episode 174
EPISODE 174
GUILT
Emily
“Sebastian...” I reach out to touch his face, tracing the harsh lines of his chiseled jaw.
His body reacts instantly, muscles coiling beneath his sun-kissed skin. He leans into my touch, closing his eyes and letting out a low growl that sends a shiver rippling through me. “Fuck. I love the way you say my name in your accent.”
His hands are on me again, sliding down my sides to rest on my hips. He pulls me closer, our naked bodies pressing together. The contact is electric, igniting a fire of desire that consumes every inch of me.
I can’t help myself. “Sebastian,” I moan again, tangling my fingers in his long hair.
We’re on the shoreline, our toes sinking into the wet sand.
If we do this... If we really do this, I’ll get sand in unimaginable places.
Before I can think anything more, he lifts me. I wrap my legs around his waist as he strides deeper into the water. The coolness of the ocean waves lapping against us does nothing to quench the heat between us. I can feel him, hard and ready, pressing insistently against me.
His eyes are stormy as he gazes into mine, a silent question hovering between us. I answer him by pressing my mouth to his, our tongues tangling. It’s rough and raw, a desperate need mirrored in both of us.
He breaks away from our kiss only to bury his face into the crook of my neck, nipping and sucking at my sensitive skin.
Then he lifts me and sets me on his hard cock.
I gasp at the sudden fullness, the delicious ache of him stretching me. His grip on my hips is tight as he helps me adjust to his considerable size.
“Sebastian,” I pant, digging my nails into his broad shoulders as wave after wave of pleasure hits me.
With quick and efficient moves, he moves me up and down his length, setting a rhythm that has my head spinning. My moans mingle with the sound of the ocean waves and the faint rustle of the palm fronds.
It’s good.
Bloody good.
Still, I can’t help but think of River. But with every thrust from Sebastian, every gasp and moan that escapes from my lips, River fades. This is about Sebastian and me.
He’s relentless, driving into me with a ferocity that sends sparks arcing through me. I cling to him, my fingers digging into his shoulders as I meet each powerful thrust.
I’m close, so close.
Sebastian leans close to my ear and whispers in that gravelly tone that makes women swoon when he sings. “Let go, Emily.”
It’s all I need. With his words echoing in my ears, I surrender to the pleasure. The climax hits me hard, rolling over me like a relentless tide.
“Sebastian,” I cry out, my voice barely audible over the roar of the ocean.
He tightens his grip on me, his own release mirroring mine as he groans my name. We ride out the waves together, our bodies moving in sync until the tremors subside.
He doesn’t pull out immediately, but holds me close, our panting breaths mingling in the night air.
I wanted this.
I needed this.
I’m attracted to Sebastian and his cock... Well, no complaints there.
We’re still standing in the ocean.
“Bloody hell,” I say.
“It was good for me too,” he says dryly.
“No, not what I mean.” I unwrap my legs and bring them into the sloshing water. “The condom, Sebastian. We forgot the condom.”
“Evie made sure all you ladies were on birth control and tested for infection. We all were too.”
“Yes, of course. I know that.”
I don’t even like condoms, but I feel...
I feel...
It’s so ridiculous, but I feel like I was unfaithful to River.
It’s a thought that, once formed, begins to poison the sweet afterglow. What was hot and reckless now seems foolish and hurtful. I push away from Sebastian, feeling suddenly chilly despite the balmy night.
“I need to go,” I mumble.
He doesn’t try to stop me. The sand is cool beneath my feet as I stagger toward my discarded sundress. It’s wrinkled and full of sand, but I pull it over my damp skin anyway.
“Emily,” Sebastian calls, still standing in the shallow water.
I pause, but I don’t turn back to look at him. On some level, I blame him for this mess. It’s ridiculous, since I’m the one who couldn’t say no, who let him take me without a second thought to River. Still, it’s easier to shift blame than face my own mistake.
“What?” My voice is cold and curt.
“I’m not sorry,” he says.
I whip my hands to my hips. “Well, of course you’re not sorry. You got a fuck. Every man’s dream.”
He chuckles. “If a fuck was all I wanted, I could have grabbed Heather or June. Or Heather and June.”
“You mean...”
“I mean I wanted you, Emily.” He walks toward me and grabs his clothes. “I know you didn’t choose me for tonight. You chose Alex.”
“I did choose Alex,” I say, “but he’s not who I truly wanted.”
Sebastian’s eyebrows quirk up. “Oh?”
Is that hope I see in the depths of his amber eyes? How can I tell him I wanted to choose River?
“I’m going back to the house,” I say, turning and setting off across the beach. “I need a shower. I’ve got sand everywhere.”
Behind me, Sebastian curses. I feel his gaze burn a hole in my back, but I don’t dare turn. My heart is pounding as I quicken my pace.
Once I get to the mansion, I head straight to my suite to wash off the sand and salt. The water is warm against my skin. As it washes away the evidence of our tryst, it also seems to cleanse away some of the guilt.
I step out of the shower and wrap myself in a fluffy towel. My reflection in the mirror looks haunted, pale and unsure. With a sigh, I turn away from it and towel off my hair?—
I jump at a knock on the door.
I secure the towel. Without looking through the peephole, I open the door.
Sebastian stands there, still in his rumpled and damp clothes. “Emily,” he says.
“What do you want?”
“Easy, Emily. I want you .”