8
CLARITY
The loud crack of thunder ripping through the sky shakes me awake. It's dark and cold enough to be considered an icebox.
Rubbing the sleep out of my eyes, I try to bring the covers over me more, but still, I shiver from the chill. Goosebumps rise on my arms and legs.
Throwing the cover off, I step down on the floor while blinded by the darkness of the night, hoping there's nothing in my way on the floor.
Flicking the lamp on and illuminating the room, I walk towards the window that I expect to be open.But nope. It's closed. Harsh rain collides against the glass, the whistle of wind echoing through the room as it escapes through the shut window.
R.I.P. to whoever is walking in that storm.
Sighing, I wrap my arms around myself, walk towards the door where I exit, and cross the hallway to Olias room.
There are moments that I know I shouldn't share with Olias. These are moments that are meant for people who are more than friends. For example, earlier, my damn heartbeat betrayed me because of his large hands around my hip.I love Jonah, yes. And I know he will be mad when I come back home. He's sure to realize I'm gone in the morning, but I can't leave Olias after the news he broke about his twin sister. He's my friend and I am his. And friends comfort each other in need.
I'll have to take the punishment later.
I send three knocks at Olias door right below the caution sign.
What a misleading sign. Dog and Olias are far from dangerous.
A crack of thunder makes me jump. Olias opens the door, and on the other side of it, I'm met with a bare tattooed chest and a naked body. Naked besides the blue checkered boxers he wears. The boxers that my gaze has been on for way too long.
Suddenly, the carpet looks super fascinating...
"Clare?" A shiver runs down my arms, and not from the coldness this time. Sleep laces his voice, its low rasp cutting my nickname into pieces. "What's up?"
Awkwardly, my cheeks warm at the sight of his very... appealing appearance, and I find it hard to look at him in his eyes.
"Uh... I, um— It's freezing. And I can't sleep." I finally utter, rubbing my arms dressed with goosebumps. My eyes finally meet his, the green that's becoming my new favorite thing to stare at when I actually get the courage to do so.
He raises his hand and scratches his bedhead, wild strands of his dark hair sticking out in the best ways.
"Shit, I'm sorry, I forgot the heater is broken in there," He apologizes, opening his door and stepping aside. "You wanna sleep with me?"
Curse my mind for heading to the gutter.
"Like... sleep sleep?" I slowly question, my voice raising an octave, taking a step into his room.
A smirk rises on his face as he looks at me, the one dimple reappearing. "Of course. Was there any other type of sleeping you wanted to do?"
My cheeks burst into scorching flames as I shake my head. Thank God it's dark.
A soft laugh comes from Olias as I step into his room.
The warmth immediately hits me in the face, heating my body. His radiator works, that's for sure. The door shuts behind me, and I make my way to his bed, where I climb onto it and pull myself under the comforter like a pea on a plate of warm rice.
"Clarity, you can't sleep in the middle . Move over."
I'm in the middle? Oops.
I move from the center and turn to my side to watch Olias slide into bed. A new warmth from his close body meets my skin.
His face is inches from mine. I should stop staring at his side profile like a creep, but the moonlight from his window shines at just the right angle on him. I notice a few freckles on his face, one on his left cheek and another beside his nose.
I wonder if he shared them with his twin sister.
"What's her name?" I say instinctively. Crap . "Never mind, don't answer that."
He turns his gaze from the ceiling to me. A moment passes before he simply answers, "Vanessa."
Asking how she passed away is at the tip of my tongue, but I bite it back—
"Car crash," Olias says, cutting off my thoughts.
"How did you know I wanted to know?"
He laughs through his nose. "You're not exactly the quiet type, I've realized. So the silence hinted at it." His face turns grave as he pauses, his arms lifting to sit under his head, staring back at the ceiling. "It was four months ago," his voice cracks. "Vanessa had a college volleyball game to go to. She asked me to drive her there because her car was messed up, but I told her no," he pauses. "For no reason at all, I said no.
"But while I thought she'd only miss her game for my pettiness, she decided to drive her broken car to it, our parents driving with her. They didn't know the car was broken, at least not to the extent it was." He clears his throat, the story taking a toll on him to recite. "The brakes were broken. And when she needed them the most, it failed on her..."
Oh my God. My eyes start to leak. A lot. I wipe my running tears with the back of my hand.
Olias turns his face away, but I don't miss the glistening of a tear line traveling toward his ear.
I raise my hand, turning his face to me. "Don't hide from me," I whisper, wiping his tears from his face just as he does to me when I cry.
His face morphs, dropping onto my chest. "I should've said yes, Clare. I should've just driven her myself."
I shift so that he lies sideways on my chest, his arms wrapping around my torso tightly. "It's not your fault," I say softly, threading my fingers through his dark hair.
"They loved you, Olias. She loved you a lot, I bet." Gosh, I'm terrible at this comfort thing. I only want him to feel okay again, and I regret bringing up the subject.
Acting on impulse, I hug his head against me, and we sit in silence just like that. My thumb caresses his jawline, stroking it slightly.
Minutes to hours later, I’m not sure which one; I begin to hear slight snores come from Olias, his head pressing against my boobs in the most inappropriate way, but he looks content in this position. And it's oddly comfortable.
I soften my shoulders, falling asleep with Olias wrapped around me.
***
"When you said food shopping, I thought you meant real food," Olias says as I throw chocolate-flavored ice cream into the shopping cart alongside the three boxes of Frosted Flakes.
"Ice cream is real food. It's just... a different category."
Waking up this morning, untangling ourselves from each other after the night of tears, I expected to go into his kitchen and make breakfast for us. But there was no food to do so. So, I suggested we get food, and here we are.
With his sister's vans on my feet, since I lost mine at the party, and the return of Olias jacket on me, I walk down aisle six. The sweets aisle.
At the end of the aisle, I see my favorite thing ever. I speed up and tiptoe to grab the Easy Cheese can and the Ritz crackers beside them.
I lift them to Olias.
"Clare, that isn't food..."
"Can I get them or not?"
Olias sighs, waving his head towards the cart. "Go ahead."
I bite my lips, trying to hide the smile of excitement on my face. I like shopping with Olias.He rarely says no to me, whereas Jonah constantly says no when we go. We usually leave the store with beer cans and protein shakes. But looking in the cart now, filled with a jar of pickles, crackers and cheese, cereal and milk, and chips and dip, it's like looking at a pot of gold.
"When you're throwing up again from all this shit, don't come to me for Tylenol."
"Oh, quiet ," I shush him, and he shakes his head.
I stop the cart he pushes with a hand, an idea sprouting into my head as we turn the corner to a long, empty aisle.
Olias looks down at me with confusion written across his face. Then, watch as I hop into the cart, bringing my knees up to my mouth.
"Ever raced in a cart around the supermarket? It's fun." My mom never let me do this. My dad, however, did when he was still around.
"You want me to run with you in the cart?" Olias questions.
I nod my head. "What? Scared of getting caught?"
He snorts, shaking his head. "No. I'm just not doing it."
I frown and challenge him. "I dare you to. You can't not do it now that I dared you."
Olias full lips press together as if not trying to show the laugh that escapes anyway. "You come up with the weirdest shit, y'know that, right?"
I shrug with a small laugh. Mom doesn't like my randomness, and neither does Jonah...
Olias lowers himself, waiting for a lady to pass us and turn the corner.
"Ready?" He whispers against my neck.
My eyes widen with excitement as I grin and nod, holding onto the sides of the cart.
Counting down from three, Olias shoots off with the cart and flies us through the aisle. The loud sound of the wheels spinning echoes through the supermarket. The force he puts into it sends my hair flying back. I laugh out loud, shouting cheers as we approach the end.
Coming to an abrupt stop, I launch forward; the collision of my palms and the metal creates a heartbeat shooting up my wrist and barely stops me from smashing my face into the front of the cart.
I laugh, thinking we hit a wall, but my face solidifies as I raise my head to see Jonah standing in front of us. The tightness in my stomach spreads to my chest and then throat, and the pain from my palms is now the least of my worries. A blackhole opens up within me.
I stand up in the cart, getting out swiftly, glancing at Olias who has no idea who the man in front of us is. Though, Jonah knows exactly who I am. How did he find me?This can’t be a coincidence, it’s so rare to find him taking a trip to the supermarket on his own.
"Sorry, man," Olias apologizes, but Jonah glares at me.
My blood runs cold. The rapidness of color fading from my skin makes my head spin.
"Jonah... hey," I try to greet with a smile.
"What the fuck are you doing here, Clarity?" he curses. His voice sends an unpleasant chill through my body. It's only when we're in our happy states that I love his voice the most. But that isn't common, unfortunately.
I turn to look at Olias, whose shoulders have tensed. His posture has grown straighter. He recognizes Jonah's name. He walks from behind the cart to stand beside me, and I take a subtle step away.
"I was with my friend, food shopping." I point to Olias and then at the cart. How did you know I was here?"
He laughs bitterly and says, "So you were hiding ?"
"No—"
He raises his phone. "Your location. It’s on," he answers. "I wake up to my girlfriend not in bed and missing all morning to find her in the supermarket with some pussy piece of shit. What am I dating? A fucking slut?"
Olias meets my side, and I can feel the heat searing off of him. "I don't know who the fuck you are, but I'd watch your fucking mouth if I were you."
Jonah steps closer to Olias, and Olias challenges his height. Both the men stand tall, with broad shoulders and hurtful-looking pairs of knuckles.
"Guys, c'mon, please," I plead, not wanting a scene in the middle of the supermarket.
"I'll tell you who the fuck I am, her boyfriend of five years. So why don't you take your sorry ass somewhere else before you get fucked up, pretty boy."
While Jonah is tough, Olias is much taller and has more defined muscles, even while being lean. He's also older than Jonah by five years.Though Jonah has a history of getting into fights, from my point of view, most of them were with me, but that’s beside the point. In the end, this won’t be good for them. I can’t see either of them get hurt, not because of me.
I put a hand on Jonah's bicep. "Jo, we're just friends."
He snatches my hand, so tight in his hold that it stings. The back of my eyes starts to burn with tears, my hair falling around my face as I lower my head.
"Stay the fuck away from my girl, alright? If I see you again, you won't walk away with your face intact," Jonah hisses.
But Olias looks far from fazed by his threat, and I begin to worry that Jonah is the one who needs to be fazed. Olias turns his gaze at me.
"Clarity, you don't have to go with him if you don't want to," he says softly.
Jonah squeezes my hand tighter. I shake my head and stutter out my next words. "No, I think I'll just head home." Jonah's grip loosens, and he puts his arm into the aisle of cereal and slides it through it, knocking cereal boxes onto Olias.
Olias eyes slowly lower to the mess on the floor and he pokes his tongue at his left cheek, clearly holding his composure as best he can as Jonah pulls me along with him.
I didn't realize the small group of people forming at the end of the aisle. Embarrassment falls on me.
When I get outside the supermarket, I'm ushered towards Jonah's car. He doesn't open the car door like Olias; instead, he walks to his side of the car.
"Get the fuck in,” he hisses, and I do so, trying to hide the tears spilling down my cheek.
I didn't even get to say goodbye.
He starts the car, and I can hear his heavy breathing from here.
Silence passes for a few minutes before he speaks, "Did you fuck him?"
I whip my gaze to him. "No! Jonah, no ! I said we were friends; I wouldn't do that to you, I swear." My voice is high and squeaky. I hate it.
"How the fuck am I supposed to believe a bitch that sneaks out at night to meet another fucking dude!"
Anger soars through my veins, I feel an explosion coming, and it's not gonna be good.For either of us.
"Don't act like I didn't catch you cheating two months ago! You aren't a saint! The only difference here is I didn't cheat on you!"
I regret my words immediately when Jonah's hand extends out from the wheel and smacks me, my opposing cheek colliding with the leather of his car seat.
"Yell at me again, Clarity. I dare you.” He drags out his threat, and they slither through his teeth and cut into me like a bread knife. “Bringing up old unimportant shit," he mutters.
Two months ago, I found Jonah in bed with another girl. It took a while to recover from it. I still haven't. But I stayed with him because he's all I had. He’s all I have .
“Where are your shoes,” he demands. “I didn’t get you those Vans.”
I stare at Olias sister shoes on my feet and sob at the fact that I have to come up with a answer that won’t get me another smack across the face.
“I tripped and tore them, so he gave me a new pair to borrow.”
Jonah holds out his hand, his eyes locked on the road. “Give them to me.”
I start to unlace the shoes as my breath hitches and air struggles to enter my clogged nose. I give the shoes to Jonah, and I watch as he lowers his window and flings them into ongoing traffic.
I turn my head to the window on my side, tears swelling my eyes and press my hand down my inflamed cheek. I sob silently the entire way home.