Chapter 5
CHAPTER FIVE
Scottie
“ G et away from me!” I scream, lashing out. My fists meet empty air, but it doesn’t matter.
I know they’re there.
The stench of smoke and sweat assaults me, vivid and raw. The room is dimly lit and full of shadows. Laughter echoes in my ears, warbled and distorted. I can’t make out the faces of the men taunting me, but I feel his eyes on me…
He never leaves me unguarded. Even when it appears like I’m alone, I know he’s watching me. I feel his invisible touch crawling over my skin, into my mind, and through my most intimate…
The orgasm that takes me is unwanted, the throbbing pleasure at my core unnatural.
Why is he doing this to me?
He says I’m his, but I’m not —will never be.
I let myself belong to a man once and look what it got me. I felt invincible with Zane at my side—until I wasn’t.
Something sharp pierces my arm, and suddenly I’m falling into darkness. Drugged. Helpless. Violated.
A scream echoes through my mind—the sound of utter desperation. It hits me like a punch to the gut. I thrash against invisible restraints, every fiber of my being screaming for freedom.
How long has it been? I can’t even begin to guess. So many nights. So many events like this where I’m displayed like some sick trophy.
The memory flashes are always the same…
Men’s laughter ricochets off brick walls as they drag me away from everything I knew and trusted. Their hands are on me, hot and clammy. Their voices blend into an unintelligible chorus, mocking my terror.
“Please…” I choke out, tears streaming down my cheeks as helplessness floods over me like ice water.
The flashes continue…
The women crying, bunches of them locked in every room of the house. They force them to do things…terrible things. These monsters shoot needles filled with drugs into their arms and they soon stop fighting back.
I’ll never stop.
Fingers claw at the air around me. Each attempt to escape brings nothing but frustration and rage bubbling up inside me. “Let go of me! Stop!”
He’s coming. My body responds unbidden at the idea, my mind unable to shut him out. I don’t want to do this—not again. Never. Him closing in—like a dark shadow dancing on the edge of my sanity—and there’s nothing I can do to fight back.
“Shh…bella. Don’t fight me. This will go so much better for you when you accept the inevitable. You’re mine, bella. I’ll never let you go.”
The truth of his words drags me under, threatens to drown me beneath a tide of despair…The worst part of all of this is that I know he’s right. I want him. I want everything he’s promising me. And the moment I give in, I’ll be his forever.
Suddenly, warmth envelops me from behind—a presence so solid and reassuring it cuts through the nightmare’s grip.
“Scottie!” Tucker’s voice slices through the chaos like a lifeline tossed into turbulent waters.
My eyes snap open. I wake tangled in the sheets, the weight of my body suffocating me. My heart races as I shake off the remnants of the nightmare, but the memories cling like a groping slime.
Images swirl in my mind—the deep, silky voice of an evil man, the faceless figures looming in the shadows, the sobs of women that make my skin crawl.
I can’t catch a breath.
I gasp for air as reality floods back in—I’m not there anymore. I’m here, safe in bed with Tucker and Zane. But even safety doesn’t erase the chill creeping up my spine or the guilt festering inside me for what I did.
“Scots, what’s wrong?” Zane’s voice is low and steady as he wraps his arms around me. “What the hell was that?”
“Leave it alone,” I stammer between ragged breaths. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
Zane’s emerald eyes are wide as he cups my face in his hands and wipes my tear-streaked cheeks with his thumbs.
“We used to talk about everything. You’re safe with me, Scots. I love you.” His tone is urgent yet soft—a strange dichotomy that twists something painful inside me.
“It was just a nightmare.” My voice quakes with anger more than fear now, heat rising to meet Zane’s worried gaze. “Of the time after you threw me away.”
Zane recoils. “Scottie, please. Don’t?—”
I run a shaky hand over my forehead and exhale. “Sorry, that wasn’t fair. I told you bad things happened in New York. I was out of my depths, hurt, and alone. There are moments when those memories get the better of me.”
Tucker squeezes my shoulder, sending a rush of magical energy to ease me. I relax into his touch and let him ground me further against the demons of my past. I refuse to let them swallow me whole again. “You’re safe now, beautiful. We’ve got you.”
Zane glances at Tucker before focusing on me again. “How can I fix this?”
“You can’t.” My answer slips out before I can stop myself. “In my head, I know it’s not your fault, but in my heart, I know that if I was here with you and Da, it never would’ve happened.”
It’s a sharp barb aimed right at his heart, but it’s my truth and he needs to hear it. He flinches but recovers quickly, his expression filled with regret. “I don’t know what you went through, and I won’t ask your forgiveness, but if there’s ever anything that I can do to help, just ask. I could use my gift to take the memories away from you.”
“Your father has tried a dozen times. It doesn’t help.”
Zane frowns. “My father knew what happened, and he didn’t tell me?”
“It wasn’t about you , Zane. It happened to me!” The words tear out like shrapnel embedded deep within—all jagged edges ripping open old wounds that never fully healed. “And yes, Francesco knew what happened because he and Da were the ones who realized I was missing and came after me. They rescued me and made sure I was taken care of while I recovered.”
The devastation on Zane’s face gets worse with everything I say. Gripping his hand, I give it a squeeze. “It was a long time ago. Give me a minute to stick it all back in its box. The energy jolt must’ve kicked it loose. Some space until I lock it down again.”
Zane looks like he might argue and press the point, but then he leans closer and presses his forehead against mine. It’s a gesture that is both intimate yet painfully distant. Flipping back the covers, he slides out of bed and casts a backward glance that breaks my heart. “Take care of her, Tuck. She’s precious and not as tough as she thinks she is.”
Tucker nods. “I’ve got our girl. Don’t worry.”
Part of me thinks I should be angry that these two alpha males are discussing my care as if I belong to them. Another part of me is thankful they’re willing to share the responsibility of my happiness.
Because as messy as it is…I love them both.
“I’ll be in my suite if you need anything—day or night.”
“Thanks, Zane.”
Then, just like that…Zane is out the door and down the hallway.
Tucker lays back down on the mattress and holds his arms open. I sink into the warmth of his embrace and close my eyes as he pulls the duvet up to cover us. With his index finger, he draws gentle circles over the detailed lines of the Vasari Sacred Squire mark inked into my forearm. “I’m sorry you suffered through whatever it was. Tell me if there’s anything I can do to help you.”
“You’re doing it. This helps.” Heat starts creeping back into me again, erasing the icy dread that took me over. It helps me to relax and with the magic tingling between us, erases the dark memories quicker than ever before. “It’s not even like I remember any of it clearly. The nightmares are always the same, just a bunch of horrible, angry images and feelings. The man who took me kept me drugged most of the time.”
Tucker tenses around me but says nothing, his finger faltering for a moment before continuing his caress.
“Do you know who that was?”
“His name was Russ Fusco. I don’t know much more than that. He ran some kind of sex trafficking ring, only he took a personal interest in me.”
I hug her a little tighter. “Not your fault. None of what happened is on you.”
“I’m ashamed more than anything.”
“Oh, Scotland. Don’t be. Whatever happened, no matter how or why, shame just gives it power. We judge ourselves by our worst moments, instead of our best. Don’t carry around your darkest moment—celebrate your brightest.”
He’s right.
“But what about the others? There were other girls there when Da and Francesco came to save me. What if me being gone made things worse for them?”
“I don’t know what happened, but I knew your father and Francesco. There is no way they would allow the man who kidnapped you to continue to hurt people. I’d bet that once they got you to safety, they shut him down hard.”
Yeah, that’s probably true.
I yawn, but can’t face my demons again yet. “Will you keep talking to me? I’m not ready to go back to sleep.”
“We’ll talk all night if you want, beautiful. Whatever you need. I’ve got you.”
Tucker
I cradle Scottie against me, her body trembling slightly as her breathing returns to normal. The heat that my shifter DNA gives off is put to good use and the icy chill of her skin warms. Her nightmare still clings to us, its violent shadow dancing in the corners of the room.
Whatever happened to her in New York all those years ago was devastating. I won’t press her for details—she’ll share more, when and if she’s ready.
For now, I’ll comfort her and be her safe place.
Her heart beats steadily against my chest, a soft rhythm that matches my own. Her eyes glisten with unshed tears, and my heart twists at the pain in them. “Hey,” I whisper. “You’re safe now. You’re home, where people love you and will kill for you.”
She eases back enough to study my face. “I just hate feeling so weak.”
I offer her a small smile. “Scottie, no. Of all the ways I could describe you, weak isn’t one of them. We all have our moments. You’ve lived through something, and it left its mark, but it doesn’t define you.”
“Then why can’t I shake this feeling? Even when I push it down, it’s always there, under the surface.”
I know that pain. I’ve spent years keeping my truth buried deep inside me. But looking into those dark blue depths filled with vulnerability, something shifts in me. She shared something raw and personal.
It’s time for me to do the same.
“You’re not the only one who feels that way, beautiful. I’m a shifter who can’t shift.”
“What do you mean?”
“Just what I said. Haven’t you wondered why, in a battle, I don’t take my shifter form?”
Her brows furrow. “I just figured you didn’t want to risk exposure.”
“No. I’ve lived my entire life hiding the defect of who I am. My mother was a polar bear shifter. The pack I grew up in is filled with strong, impressive bears that take your breath away, but I have never been one of them.”
Her gaze softens. “Why do you think that is?”
“The squire magic altered or interferes with the shifter magic. I feel my bear inside me. He’s fierce…but he just can’t take form.”
“I’m so sorry.”
Me too. “The pack saw it as proof that I was a mistake from the moment my mother fell in love with a human. They saw me as weak—a pariah because of what happened between Jack and my mother.”
Scottie leans closer, her tears now falling for me and my pain.
I use the edge of the blanket to catch her tears. “My mother’s love for Jack and for me never faltered. It stretched to the depth and breadth of her being, despite it leading to her being shunned by our pack. We lived our entire lives as outcasts in my pack.”
“That must have been hard for you both.”
“It hurt me, but I’m pretty sure it’s what got her killed.” Anger rises from somewhere deep within me—anger at them for judging us when they knew nothing about love or sacrifice. “I’ve never known who attacked her and left her to die, but someone killed her because of me.”
“Oh, Tucker. I’m so sorry.” She hugs me, pressing her cheek against my chest. “The good news is, you’re here now and it’ll differ from now on. You’ll never be alone on the outside with me and Jack at your side.”
It’s surreal to open up so fully about my life. It’s not something I do. Not even with Jack. But Scottie is a part of me, and I don’t want any secrets between us—on her side of things or mine.
Closing my eyes, I nuzzle my face into her hair and breathe her in. Her scent has become my sanctuary—the place where my bear and I finally feel at peace.
Scotland McCullough is my home.