Chapter Thirty-One
The Precipice
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J UST LIKE THAT, THERE she was. Lawes had watched her progress across the street in his rearview mirror, holding his breath while she crossed the road and not able to release the air until she’d slid into the passenger seat beside him.
In that moment, none of the things he’d been through to be there with her were worthy of note. The fact he’d had to steal clothes that didn’t fit from local lines and beg and borrow shoes and food so he could lie low until the initial police scrutiny had passed meant nothing.
Being there with her meant none of that mattered. The only thing that counted was Hannah. Her hair swept back in a messy bun, her large, inquiring eyes, and the pool of pink color rising to her cheeks.
“It’s good to see you, little girl.” He reached for her nearest hand, encasing her skin with his larger palm.
“You too, Mr. Lawes, sir.”
She shook her head as though she couldn’t believe she’d admitted it, but there they were, two people who’d thought they were strong, who’d thought they could carry on without the other, when all the time, they’d been waiting for that one moment.
“Are you okay?” He squeezed her fingers gently. “I’ve been trying to stay close, but it hasn’t been easy with the police all over you.”
“I’m okay.” Though even as she spoke, she could hear the emotion cracking in her voice. “I’m glad you didn’t forget me.”
“Forget you?” He laughed at the idea. “You must tell me how that’s possible sometime. I haven’t been able to forget you for years.”
She shrugged. “It seems we need one another in some twisted way.”
Her smile reflected the melancholic gray of the sky, and his insides tightened at her sorrow.
He’d done that to her. He’d taken the bright and nervous woman who’d walked into the surgery he’d shared with Fuller, and he’d reduced her to the edgy, despondent one holding back her tears at his side.
Once upon a time, he’d have rejoiced in her transformation, but not anymore.
Sitting there, he accepted he needed both her submission and her growth.
She needed to bloom as a woman, and, if she’d allow him, he wanted to be the one who tended to those tempting blossoms.
“It was difficult to vocalize all the things I felt back at the house.” He paused, reflecting on his next words.
Having practiced the key components in his head, he knew what he wanted to say, but he needed to ensure his words came over the way he intended.
“Things didn’t work out the way I’d planned. ”
“With the police, you mean?” She sniffed back her emotion and turned to face him.
“Yes, and with us.” His hand slid to her knee, his thumb stroking over her leggings. “I was so hellbent on getting you back to enact the revenge I felt you merited that I hadn’t expected the rush of feelings.”
“Feelings?” She seized on the word in an instant. “What feelings, sir?”
“Needing you.” He inched closer, wishing the center of the car would just disappear so he could hold her. “Wanting to know you and not just control you.”
Her brow rose, a tiny deed that might have been indiscernible had he not been paying such close attention.
“I want to fuck and dominate, yes.” He chuckled, the gesture relieving some of the tension his shoulders had been holding onto. “And I think you want those things, too. But I also want to look after you, little girl. To care for you, to support you, and help you become the woman you want to be.”
“Really?” She hitched in a breath, evidently unconvinced. “It’s just the Mark Lawes I know has been more about cuffs and spankings than listening to me and wanting to know me.”
“Yes.” He couldn’t dispute her logic. “I am that man, but you’ve changed me, little girl. Making me pay for my crimes, then making me question myself...” He hesitated, aware he was suddenly smiling. “You might be the first person who has ever held me to account.”
Her lips twisted at that. “Stands to reason, sir.”
“Don’t push your luck,” he scolded, though his tone remained playful. “I can still stretch you over this seat and tan your pretty behind.”
“And I might like it if you did.” She shifted on her seat, her focus falling to his hand.
“But I don’t know how we move forward, sir.
The police are looking for you, and they’re still regularly updating me on their lack of progress.
How can we even be together, let alone see where this thing might go? ”
His pulse rushed faster at her intimation. She wanted to see where their connection could go, and teetering on the edge of getting more than he’d even realized he longed for, that meant the world.
“We should go away somewhere and have some quality time together.” Although even as he suggested it, he had no idea how he’d pay for the endeavor.
But if there was one thing his conviction and sentence had taught him, it was that some things were beyond his control, but when the time was right, the things he most needed would come to him.
Hannah’s affection proved the point. It had only flowered when he was ready to receive it. The money they needed would come.
“Where, sir?” She sounded despondent. “And how? I barely get any time alone these days.”
“Tell your friends you need some space.” He patted her hand, glad to be able to clarify. “Pack a bag and meet me when and where I tell you.”
“How will you let me know, sir?” Her hand rose and gently covered his, the feel of her warmth sustaining him.
“I have a new phone, but I don’t know if it’s a good idea for you to contact me on it.
Both the police and my friends are constantly checking in about the device.
” She sighed, her eyes fleetingly falling closed.
“It sounds exhausting.” His tone was wry. “But then, I guess you’re used to the scrutiny by now... I gave you enough practice.”
“Well,” she glanced up through her damp lashes. “At least when you had me, it was sometimes sexy.”
His cock thickened at her impish smile. “Sometimes?”
“Yes, sir.” She fidgeted on the seat. “Sometimes, it was intolerable.”
“Mmmm.” He recalled those days with an all-too-tangible fondness. “And I can make it intolerable for you again, little girl—when you need it—but this time, you’ll have a say in the process.”
“Like a safe word?” Her eyes widened.
“I’ve never been much of a fan of safe words, but for you, I will try.” His free hand rose to her face and gently cupped her heating skin. “For you, I will do almost anything.”
“This is insane, sir.” She turned to kiss his fingers.
“Completely,” he agreed. “But if you say yes to coming away with me, I’ll be the happiest man alive.”
Her lips stretched wider. “You haven’t told me where yet.”
“How about the north of Scotland?” He was thinking off the top of his head. “We can drive there, so no passport control, and it’s far enough away that no one will recognize us.”
“I’ve never been, sir.”
“You’ll love it.” The hand she’d kissed slipped to her nape and held her steady as he went on. “There’s so much space and nature. It’ll be easy to get lost.”
“And you won’t m-make me stay?” Suddenly, she seemed unsure, her body tensing beneath his touch. “If we get there and I change my mind, you’ll let me go?” Meeting his eyes, she swallowed.
Understandably, that concern was at the core of any remaining reticence Hannah had. He’d been a ruthless master to her too many times for her to trust him entirely, but he hoped, with time, he could help her have faith in him.
“I’m going to do everything I can to persuade you otherwise.” He smirked, imagining all of those delightful techniques he could employ. “But yes, if ultimately, that’s really what you want, you can leave.”
He didn’t want to envision letting her walk away, but equally, he couldn’t ask for any more than taking the leap of faith with him. She was putting everything on the line. They both were.
“Okay.” Her answer was almost lost to her breathy exhalation. “I’ll come to Scotland with you, Mr. Lawes, sir.”
He wanted to cheer with happiness, but sitting there, he only smiled. “You won’t regret it, little girl.”
“You’d better make sure I don’t, sir.”
Her tone was remarkably brave for the woman he’d already repeatedly mastered, and it indicated that, despite her misgivings, she already had a level of trust in him.
She wouldn’t have been there at all, otherwise.
“Any more comments like that and I’ll turn you over my knee.” Leaning across the gearshift, he whispered the words softly, enjoying the reflexive panicky gleam in her eyes.
Her breathing sped up as she searched his face for clues about his intent, but before she could cast her judgment, he swooped, finally stealing the kiss that belonged to him.