Chapter 14
Chapter
Fourteen
COOPER
“Why did you invite me?”
Abby’s question swirled around my mind on loop as we sat on the edge of my dock, our feet skimming the water.
It was a fantastic question. It needed to be asked, and surely, it needed to be answered.
But a sufficient response was lost on me; nothing I told her would make any sense.
I was full of mixed emotions, back and forth, wrong and right.
My feelings and my voice of reason were constantly battling it out.
How could I explain that to her? How could I put any of it into words?
And yet, it seemed so simple. She was here, sitting beside me, leaning against my shoulder while she stared out at the peaceful water.
I’d invited her because there was no one else I wanted to spend the day with.
It was a frightening realization, knowing I was falling for the one woman who should be entirely off my radar.
But if I told her that, Abby would take it as an invitation for so much more than an innocent day out on the lake.
There would be no coming back from an admission like that.
Everything would change, and I wasn’t ready.
Maybe I would never be ready, because at the end of the day, our situation would always be what it was—complicated. Line-crossing.
Gray.
The afternoon had faded into evening, and the sun now sat low in the sky.
We’d eaten sandwiches and fruit skewers on the pontoon, then had run inside to shower and change.
Luckily, Kate often stayed in my spare bedroom after late nights working the bar, so there were clean clothes for Abby to borrow.
She was wearing a black halter dress, and one of the straps was dipping off her sunburned shoulder as she leaned into me.
I vaguely missed when she smelled like coconut sunscreen and lake water—the essence of summer—but I wasn’t disappointed when she’d lathered herself in a sweet tangerine body lotion.
The scent mingled with my bath soap she’d used in the shower, and it was an alarmingly seductive combination.
Abby’s hair was now loose and unbraided, still partially damp and hanging in waves around her face.
I shifted my attention to the lake, because looking at her was making my heart race.
“Cupcake.”
Her voice startled me, and I dared a glance back at her. “What?”
“My cat. I’m naming her Cupcake.” She smiled, her eyes glimmering with a magenta hue from the sunset. “It’s perfect, right?”
So perfect…
Wait, what was perfect?
“Yeah,” I said. “Cute.”
“It’s freakin’ adorable. I feel like you are majorly underreacting.”
Abby crinkled her nose in a way that was definitely more adorable than the cat’s name. Then she rested her chin atop my shoulder like it was the most natural thing in the world.
And shit, it sure felt like it was.
I sucked in a breath. A jagged, broken breath that cracked when it reached the back of my throat.
She noticed.
Abby’s chin lifted from its place on my shoulder, and she looked up at me with curious, imploring eyes. Her body was pressed into me like it was made for mine.
Why did this feel so right?
Why was I drowning in her scent, choking on her proximity?
“Are you okay?” she asked.
Part of me wanted to laugh at her question.
Okay?
I could come up with a million reasons as to why I was not okay. The glaringly obvious one being that I was lusting after a woman who was off-limits. Abigail Stone was the victim in my active criminal investigation. It was wrong.
But then I tilted my head to meet her gaze, and the electricity between us crackled into white-hot flames.
Again, she noticed.
Abby sat up straight, her eyes never leaving mine, and twisted her body to fully face me. “What is it, Cooper? What’s wrong?”
Another ridiculously ambiguous question.
I stood, needing an escape.
A goddamn breather.
I needed a reprieve from her violet eyes and tangerine scent.
“I’m fine,” I said. “I’m going to grab something to drink. Did you want anything?”
She shook her head.
I let my eyes linger for a second longer before I headed down the dock and trudged through my backyard.
When I slipped inside the patio door and entered the kitchen, I chugged a bottle of water from the fridge, then pressed forward on the countertop with my palms. My fingers curled around the edges with pent-up tension.
I was rattled, out of sorts. Confused. Abby was vulnerable and clearly smitten, and I needed to exterminate the strange, complicated feelings swimming through my veins.
It was a mistake taking her out on the lake today.
It had only stirred up things that should have been snuffed out the moment they’d surfaced.
All I was doing was giving her mixed signals, and that wasn’t fair.
Stupid.
I needed to tell her this. I needed to be honest and explain why I had to step away, why I would always have her back but could never have her heart.
I had every intention of telling her that…until I felt her saunter up behind me in the kitchen. I didn’t even hear her come in through the patio door—no, I felt her. Like a sixth sense. Her energy radiated through me, urging me to spin around and face her.
Abby had a look in her eyes. It was a mix of longing, wonder, and utter uncertainty.
I could only assume my eyes were reflecting something similar.
I was going to speak up, stick the dagger through her soft heart, but she stopped me.
She stepped forward, her eyes wavering and unsure, yet fixed on mine.
She didn’t say a word.
I didn’t, either.
I just leaned back against the counter and waited. Waited for what, I didn’t know, but I had a vague idea.
And shit—I couldn’t let that happen.
The problem was, my body was making zero effort to retreat, to escape this madness. My voice was non-functioning, my words of objection bolting from my tongue like cowards, dissolving to dust.
Abby was getting closer.
My jaw tensed as my body reacted to her nearness. It was the ultimate betrayal to all my carefully woven logic.
She gnawed on her lip, looking delightfully curious. Her cheeks were flushed pink from the sun, her hair wild and frizzy as it draped over her shoulders like a radiant cloak. I was painfully aware of her beauty, her warmth, the magnetic look in her eyes that was pulling me right to her.
It really was.
I was actually moving toward her.
Damn traitorous feet.
And right now, all I wanted to know was if her lips felt as soft as they looked.
On cue, our bodies collided at the same time.
I curled my hand around her jaw and pulled her mouth to mine.
Her body rose, melding into me, a moan escaping her when my tongue pushed inside.
She wrapped her arms around my neck as my fingers braided through her hair, tugging her head back gently, kissing her deeper.
Holy shit, she tasted good. I groaned into her mouth and shoved her back against the refrigerator, caging her in with my palms on either side of her head. Our tongues dueled, a heated, frenzied dance. I hadn’t felt anything like it before. Nothing compared to kissing Abigail Stone.
I inched away to take a breath. “Fuck…Abby,” I gritted out.
But breathing didn’t seem important, so I kissed her again, hiking her leg up around my waist by the thigh and digging my erection against her hot juncture.
Abby moaned at the contact, her hands gliding down my shoulders, my arms. She clung to me, the crown of her head falling back to the refrigerator door.
I kissed her exposed neck and collarbone, then trailed my lips up to her ear.
Abby squeaked out another moan when I nibbled the lobe.
I would love to have spent my entire life eliciting that exact same sound from her lips, and the notion scared the hell out of me.
I shooed the thoughts away and found her mouth again, tugging her bottom lip between my teeth, sliding my tongue along hers.
Kissing Abby was literal fucking magic. I was hypnotized, spellbound, in a damn trance.
My heart was pounding, close to bursting through my chest as she whimpered and sucked my tongue into her mouth.
Jesus.
Abby pulled back, panting, “Cooper, make love to me.” She pushed up the hem of my T-shirt, gliding her hands underneath the fabric and running her fingertips along the bare stretch of my stomach.
I froze at the request.
As if what we were doing wasn’t going to lead to the bedroom.
I supposed at this rate, we wouldn’t have made it past the kitchen island, but that was beside the point. The point was: what in the absolute hell was I doing?
“Shit.” I dropped her leg, my breathing heavy and labored. Lowering my head, I rested my forehead to hers, then closed my eyes. “I can’t do this, Abby. I’m so sorry.”
Her eyes fluttered open, glazed with equal parts lust and confusion. She blinked, processing my words, before she slapped her palms against my chest and pushed her way out of my hold. Her body was trembling, breasts heaving. “What?”
I was the world’s biggest asshole. There were no other contenders. I ran a hand through my disheveled hair and braved her steely gaze. “It’s not right.”
Abby let out a laugh so bitter, so unfunny, it chilled my blood. “Are you serious?”
I nodded, the shame trumping the desire. “Abby, I’m sorry. I—”
“Please don’t.” She held out her hand, tears brimming in her eyes. “Do you do this to all the girls? Invite them over, seduce them, make them practically beg for it, then say ‘oh, just kidding?’”
Frowning, I stepped toward her.
I couldn’t let her think that. It was so far from the truth.
“No,” I said firmly. “That was never my intention. I never meant for it to go this far.”
She inched away from me until her back bumped up against the refrigerator. “Well, it did.”
I reached for her, but she slipped away, her tears welling and falling. My teeth gnashed together, my heart shattering, knowing that I’d done this to her. I’d put those tears in her eyes.
Abby turned away and snatched her purse off the kitchen table. She spared me a quick glance, painful and broken. “Stay away from me, Cooper.”
Her words cut like a knife, her exit shrapnel in my skin.
The moment my front door slammed shut, I sunk to the floor, my legs no longer willing to hold my weight, nor the weight of what I’d done.
All I’d ever wanted to do was protect her.
Ironic.
How terribly ironic it was, that with all the monsters in the world, I was the one who had put her heart in harm’s way.
This time, I was the bad guy.
Abby
Hysterical tears streamed down my sun-kissed cheeks as I drove back home.
Cooper’s rejection stung more than I could have ever imagined. Had I read him all wrong? Had I read us all wrong? I didn’t understand.
It didn’t make sense.
I had little experience with men, as Jordan had been the only person I’d ever been with. He had been my first and only kiss, until Cooper McAllister had come along.
Was I not good at kissing?
Was he repulsed by me?
God, it was a horrible, gut-wrenching thought, but Cooper hadn’t given me much of an explanation. All he could do was apologize.
I’d had to get out of there, unable to look at him. I couldn’t be so close to him, knowing he didn’t want me. Knowing he wasn’t feeling what I was feeling. I would like to say that he’d broken my heart, but I feared it had never been put back together in the first place.
“It wasn’t meant to be, sweetheart. You’ll find the one.”
I glanced to my right, and my anguished breaths caught in the back of my throat. My mother sat in the passenger’s seat with a somber smile on her face, her dirty-blonde hair plucked up with her favorite barrette. Mom loved that silver barrette.
“Oh, Abigail. It kills me to see you like this,” she said, resting a comforting hand on my thigh. Then she chuckled. “Goodness. Probably not the best choice of word.”
I crumbled, gaping at her as the tears bucketed down. “I miss you, Mom. I need you here with me,” I cried.
“Honey, you need to keep your eyes on the road.”
Looking out the windshield, the dark stretch of road appeared endless. Much like my black thoughts. “Maybe I’m not meant to be happy,” I sniffled, wiping my nose with the back of my arm. “Maybe I’m not meant to be anything at all. I just…exist.”
“Don’t you dare say that. You’re a Stone,” she said firmly, squeezing my leg with conviction. “The Stone women never give up. They never stop fighting.”
“All I do is fight!” I shouted. “All I do is fight and fall and fail, until my knuckles bleed and bruise. I feel so alone.”
“You’re never alone.” Mom raised a hand to my cheek, stroking away the tears. “I’m always with you.”
Her touch was warm, filling me with peace.
A mother’s touch.
But then her fingers slithered around my neck, curling and squeezing, and I gasped, shrieking out loud. My head snapped toward my mother.
Except, the person now seated beside me was no longer Gina Stone.
It was Cappy.
“Eyes on the road,” he snarled.
My eyes flared with terror.
Cappy lunged over the seat and strangled me as I screamed, jerking the wheel and veering off the dark street toward a tree.
I jolted awake the moment before the car crashed, straightening in bed with a gasp.
And then I sobbed.
I cried so hard, I thought I might black out.
“Abby?”
Daphne rushed into the room in her nightgown and fuzzy slippers, her hair pinned up in curlers.
I was still staying with Daphne until I made more progress with renovations, and I was grateful for that. I needed a friend right now. “I’m sorry,” I croaked, my voice trembling. “I had a nightmare.”
“Oh, Abby.” She sat beside me on the bed, cradling my head against her chest. “It wasn’t real. Just a dream. You’re okay.”
No.
I wasn’t okay.
I was far from okay.
And I wondered if I ever would be again.