Chapter 24 #2
“There’s so much to tell you,” he continued.
“There’s so much you need to know.” Ryan reached into his pocket and pulled out a folded-up envelope.
“Nana left this for you. She gave it to me the day I moved out and asked me to hold on to it in case she was gone and you…remembered. I never planned to give it to you, but after everything that’s happened, I need to. You deserve the truth.”
I watched as he set the envelope down on the bedside stand. “I know the truth, Ryan. It was my fault.”
His head jerked toward me, a look of confusion sweeping across his face. “You do?”
“Not everything,” I said, shifting on the bed. “Flashes. Feelings. Sounds. I remember enough.”
“Jesus.” he sighed, swiping a hand over his face and shaking his head. “I can’t imagine everything you’re trying to process right now. It’s so much.”
I was used to shouldering more than what one heart should ever have to bear, but this was more than I could carry alone.
This was back-breaking. “To be honest, I don’t know how I’m going to get through it, Ryan.
My whole life has been blow after blow. I fall, and then I get back up.
Rinse and repeat.” My chest was already caving in at the prospect of having to trudge through new heartache. “I’m not sure how to survive this.”
Ryan studied me, his eyes thoughtful. He nodded, leaning into me and wrapping my hand in both of his palms. “Come back home with me. I’ll help you. I need to make up for lost time…we can do this together.”
I sucked in a breath. “You mean…leave The Crow?”
“There’s nothing here for you, Abby. You shouldn’t be alone anymore.
” He smiled, lighting up at the possible new venture.
“There’s this complex of condos about a mile from my subdivision.
Delilah, my wife, and I lived there before we bought our house.
I know you’ll love the units. Or you can stay with us until you’re comfortable being on your own again—Delilah won’t mind.
We have a spare room. Hell, we have three spare rooms.”
I didn’t know what to say. I was taken off guard by the offer; shaken to the core.
There’s nothing here for you.
Oh, but there was.
My heart was here.
Like divine intervention, Cooper appeared in the doorway, then. I thought maybe my heart had died when that bullet had lodged inside my chest, but no. Here it was, pumping new life right through me, beating wildly as my gaze landed on the man I loved.
My heart was beating just for him.
“Abby.”
My name sounded like a lost melody on his tongue, making me weep. I reached for him, tears welling in my eyes and a cry escaping my lips. Ryan stood from his chair and moved aside, and Cooper ran to me.
He ran.
He fell to his knees at my bedside and cradled my hand in his.
“I thought I lost you,” he said, his words breaking as he pressed his forehead to our entwined fingers. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there. I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you.”
No, no, no.
Cooper felt guilty; he blamed himself.
And God, I couldn’t allow him to think like that.
I sniffed back tears and raised my hand to his face.
My arm felt heavy, yet oddly frail. But I managed to keep it upright as I let my fingertips sweep across his cheek.
Cooper looked unwell. He looked like a man who hadn’t slept in weeks, maybe months.
Maybe a lifetime. His eyes were hollow and swollen, and his skin was pale despite the summer sun.
His hair was a tousled mess, the stubble along his jaw having grown into thick scruff.
“None of this is your fault, Cooper,” I whispered. “Don’t you dare say that. If you were there, you would have died, too.”
He kissed my knuckles then reached for my other hand and kissed that one, too. “Jesus, Abby. I was so fucking scared.” Leaning over, he smoothed my hair back and pressed his lips to my forehead. He lingered there, and my eyes closed in contentment.
“How long have I been out?” I wondered when he pulled back.
Cooper sighed, scratching the back of his neck. “Eight days,” he replied. “You woke up a few hours ago in a panic, so the nurse had to give you drugs to calm you down. You fell back asleep, and I went to go visit with Kate. I wasn’t sure when you’d wake back up again.”
Eight days.
I was out for eight days. It was a long time to be somewhere else, to be lost in a dreamworld I couldn’t even remember. I squeezed Cooper’s hand, my eyes roaming over his handsome face. “How is Kate? Is she okay?”
He nodded. “She’s doing really good. She’s going home soon.” A smile lifted. “She’s been asking about you.”
More tears. More weeping. More grief.
“Tell her I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
I was sorry for the destruction I’d brought into Kate’s life. I was sorry for the bullet I’d guided into my best friend’s back. I was sorry for playing a role in the death of her guy.
“She doesn’t blame you, Abby. Nobody blames you.”
“I blame me,” I whimpered. “I put it all in motion. On a rainy night twelve years ago, I created a chain of events that would ruin so many lives.” I couldn’t hold back the new rush of tears, and I wondered how many tears I could cry before my tear ducts dried up and turned to ash.
Cooper’s brow furrowed as he turned to Ryan, who was leaning against the far wall, trying to stay out of our moment. Then he looked back at me with confusion on his face. “Did Ryan tell you what happened? About the accident?”
I chewed on my lip, lowering my eyes. “When…when he was shooting at us, he came up to me, and I…I started having these flashbacks. To the accident.” I wiped the tear stains from my cheeks with a shuddering breath.
“At first I wasn’t sure if they were nightmares, or fragments of reality, but he had this look in his eyes.
A horrible look, and I just knew. I did it. I put that look there.”
Cooper closed his eyes slowly, seemingly at a loss for words. He tilted his head down, kissing my hand again and inhaling my scent. “You’ll get through this, Abby,” he said. “I’m here. We’ll get through it together.”
I glanced over at Ryan, our eyes locking, as Cooper echoed my brother’s words from only moments ago.
Gulping down a shaky breath, I clung to Cooper’s hand and stared up at the ceiling.
I had a choice to make.