Prologue
CHELSIE
FIVE YEARS EARLIER
His hands were around my throat.
I couldn’t breathe.
I couldn’t breathe.
“Sweet Chelly Belly,” he sing-songed, his eyes long past dead. “You look so pretty when you struggle.”
“I-Ian… pl-please…”
“Even prettier when you beg.”
My lungs burned for air as I kicked at him, my legs flailing wildly. Ian’s hulking frame caged me in, my body trapped between his knees as he loomed above me with amusement dancing across his lips. Peppermint shampoo tickled my nose, fusing with the gin on his breath.
I couldn’t breathe.
Gasping and choking, I squeaked out more desperate pleas. “Let… let me g-go…”
“Don’t you want to know, Chelly Bean?” His fingers curled harder around my fragile neck, bruising and punishing.
“Wh-what?”
I kept kicking, kept fighting, kept begging for mercy.
Ian grinned with malice. “Don’t you want to know what it feels like to take your last breath?”
My eyes popped. Fear swam through my veins, potent and palpable.
This was it.
I was going to die at the hands of someone I once called my lover.
But Ian was no lover—he was always a monster, and monsters couldn’t love. I’d been a fool to think there was a man hiding inside all of that ugliness.
I clawed at his face, adrenaline and survival giving me a second wind. Thrashing beneath him, I shot my knee up until it connected with his groin, but I was too weak. Too frail.
He just laughed.
“I… I don’t want to die…” I rasped.
Ian’s smirk seemed to freeze in place for a moment before he finally let go. Jumping off me, he rose to his feet and scratched at the coarse bristles on his chin. “I s’pose you’re more fun to play with when you’re alive.”
It took a long heartbeat for me to realize I could finally breathe.
I sucked in a giant mouthful of air, my hands trembling as my fingertips touched my throat. Pain radiated through me, my lungs wheezing, still fighting for breaths.
He always got like this when he drank—nasty and violent. Ian loved playing games with me. He got off on my fear.
Finding a jolt of strength, I scooted myself backward until I was pressed up against the far wall with a heavy chest and glistening eyes. Tears fell as I whispered, “Stay away from me, Ian. I-It’s over.”
He barked a cold laugh. “It’ll never be over, Chelsie.”
“It is,” I insisted, nodding emphatically through my tears. Two gray-blue eyes stared back at me, twinkling with steel and frost. “I’m done. I’m done being scared and weak and—”
Ian moved forward so fast, like an animal; a skilled predator closing in on its prey.
“You’ll always be scared and weak,” he murmured, crouching down until we were face-to-face.
His hand extended, knuckles grazing over a slow-healing bruise along my cheekbone.
“That’s ‘cause I’ll always be with you, little girl.
I’ll be hiding in every shadow, every creaky footstep in the hallway.
I’ll be lurking inside every man you think you can fix. ”
A gasp escaped, leaving me rattled.
“You can run, Chelly Bean, but I’ll be right behind you, breathing down your neck.
” He brushed a finger down the side of my throat, his eyes dipping to where his hands had choked me.
A smile slipped. “Besides, who’s going to take care of you?
You think you’ll find someone who’ll put up with your bullshit?
Someone who will… what?” The smile stretched, laced with cruelty. “Love you?”
My head swung back and forth while stringy, unwashed hair smacked me in the face. “Stop… I’m going to make it on my own. I-I’m leaving you for good.”
“Where would a lost little girl like you go?” he pondered. Leaning in, Ian’s hot breath whispered along my lips, dripping with liquor and venom. “You’re nothing but a disease—a leach. No house, no car, no job. Even Mommy and Daddy left you behind. They knew you were beyond repair.”
My eyes narrowed.
“I only tolerate your stupid ass. That’s the best you’re ever gonna get.”
I shoved him away, planting my palms against his shoulders until he teetered back with a chuckle. Scrambling to my feet, my legs were still shaking as I tried to find my balance. “If you come after me, I’m calling the police.”
“Scary,” he mocked.
Newfound purpose bubbled in my blood.
I didn’t want to live like this anymore.
And I didn’t want to die.
Sparing him a final glance, I whipped around, darting out of his living room and heading for the door. It was time to start over.
It was time to truly live.
“You’ll be crawlin’ back in no time, Chelly Belly,” Ian called out, his words prickling my skin as I escaped into the afternoon sun. Before the door slammed shut, laughter mingled with his final send-off. “After all, there ain’t no place like home.”
My feet pounded the pavement as I raced through the grass, down the sidewalk, and into a frightening unknown.
Home.
He was right—there was no place like home.
I just hadn’t found it yet…