Chapter Twenty Three #2
He pulls back, his dick slowly responding to all the action against my abdomen. “Anything?” he asks against my lips.
“Kissing got you too excited?” I tease.
“I'm always excited around you,” he says, his voice a challenge.
His hand, which was resting on my hips, moves down to the curve of my ass. I feel a finger prodding my hole.
He pulls me impossibly close, pushing his thigh against my dick that is now half hard because of all the attention.
He pats around the bed until he finds lube, then his big wet fingers swipes over my hole. I groan into his mouth.
He prepares me, quick, just two fingers slipping right in.
“Fuck,” I groan.
“Soon, baby,” he whispers.
He lifts my leg over his hips, and I feel his big, hot cock against my hole.
He pushes in slowly. Even after doing this many times, my body resists.
He kisses me deeply, his tongue swirling around mine. And slowly, my body relaxes. He pushes in and pulls out in quick thrusts until he is completely in.
There are no reservations this time. He fucks me hard and fast right from the get-go. I moan against him. My sensitive prostate loves and hates the sensations all at once. My body feels like it's made of sparks, lightning up with every thrust.
Within minutes, I’m spilling embarrassing myself.
But then he's coming inside me too. He pulls out, throws the condom in the trashcan right beside the bed, and pulls me in again.
I lean into him, my head resting on his chest. I don't even try to move away. He could do anything to me right now, and I would let him. I have nothing left. He has filled me so completely that I’m empty.
No one has ever broken me like Nicholas does. But he always makes sure to put me back together. I’m already dreading the day he leaves me in pieces and never looks back.
***
“Will you taste this?” Nicholas pushes a spoonful of gravy into my mouth. “Good?”
It’s so good. “Can use some salt,” I say instead, scrunching my nose.
Gotta keep them on their toes. Especially since he invited himself over to my place for dinner, even though I just left his apartment this morning, now he’s making dinner when he didn’t even check if I was free first. I could have had plans.
“Oh yeah?” He swoops in and captures my lips in a surprise kiss, his tongue sneaking into my mouth. When he pulls away, leaving me confused and horny, he pats his lips. “Hmm…”
I recover quickly. “Oh my god. That was so cheesy. How can I li—why are you so cheesy?”
“You know what, I think it's a little too salty,” he narrows his eyes and bites his lips to stop smiling like the cheesy, gross person he is.
I scowl at him.
I’m still cursing everything in my life that led me to liking this man enough to let him cook for me when we sit down to eat.
God, I need to stop doing this with Nicholas.
But I know I won’t, because I’ve had this exact thought every time he's come here over the last month. And every time, I’ve just let him get away with whatever he wants to do.
Maybe it’s time to finally admit I’m not stepping away from this until Nicholas wants to. And maybe that’s not the worst thing? Over the last few weeks, I’ve stopped bugging Sam to start a new mission.
I’ve also grown bored of baking, but I saw this really interesting video about a crochet blanket that’d keep me occupied for at least a few weeks.
This isn’t the worst life. I’ve been spending a ton of time with Mickey and have finally started working on many, many community engagement plans I’d been procrastinating for the clinic.
Ashley pretends she hates them, but she’s delighted. I do actually hate them, but I like money, so I don’t really mind.
And I have a beautiful, sexy man who likes to cook dinner for me. I mean, I don’t have him, but at least the cooking dinner part is true. Besides, he’s his own person, not owned by anyone. Not me, not Natalie. Anyone.
I don’t really hate that Nicholas is here, that's the point I’m trying to make.
“You seem to have really taken to your role as a dog dad,” I say, because my mind needs to be stopped.
I point to the happy dog snoozing in his new bed under the window.
For someone who was rescued just last week after spending a week in supposed captivity with a dog-napper, he looks pretty relaxed.
I heard the negotiations were rough and lasted for days.
Nicholas smiles. “C’mon, you can do better than that, El. Tell me I’m a great dog dad,” he says.
I roll my eyes. “I’m not the one who doubted that,” I point out.
“True, true. I was worried because I thought it’d be too much responsibility,” he admits. “Okay, this is gonna sound so weird. Can I confess something weird to you?”
“Almost exclusively,” I say.
He laughs. “I kinda missed living with Matt when we moved to different places. It made sense to do it because we were adults and we could. But I got— I just like having people around. And we still lived close, but then Oliver came along, and he’s great.
I love him so much. He’s so good for Matt, and Matt is so happy. But…” He pauses, looking embarrassed.
“But you miss him,” I finish.
“It’s so weird, and I have so many friends, and I spend so much time with them. But then Mickey came along, and it’s a bad comparison, but I just like he’s there with me, you know?”
I nod. Maybe not intimately. I look at Nicholas’s hopeful face again.
Or maybe a little too intimately. “You’re a caretaker.
You need someone to take care of. Matt doesn’t need that from you anymore, so you didn’t know what you were supposed to do with yourself.
Now, Mickey needs you, and that’s fulfilling again. I get it,” I say.
Nicholas’s eyebrows climb up. “Uh… Wasn’t expecting the whole psychoanalysis thing, but I guess that makes sense?
I mean, Matt is older than me, but he went through a lot before he became my brother, so I took on the responsibility of helping him, even when I was all of nine years old.
He was just a kid. He didn’t deserve any of it, you know? ” He looks contemplative.
“No one ever does,” I say, my voice shaky.
He looks at me with narrowed eyes. Fuck no, we’re not talking about my childhood. “The food is too salty. You might be losing your edge, Harper,” I say before he can utter a single word.
He laughs. “And whose fault is that?”
I shrug. I hate that I don’t hate Nicholas sitting on my couch even a little bit. This is going to turn into a disaster, isn’t it?