Chapter 1 #2
“It’s not even midnight yet.” I leave out the fact that he’s the one who dragged me out tonight in the first place and is now the one ditching.
Kinsley raises her hand with a sorry expression. “It’s my fault. I thought I’d be able to make it, but I was delusional in thinking I could out party the exhaustion of the first trimester.”
My defenses soften and I nod in understanding. This pregnancy has taken a lot out of her already and I’m sure chasing their two little boys around this afternoon didn’t help with keeping the energy levels up for celebrating tonight.
“Have you seen my sister?” My eyes immediately move towards the dance floor and Jace picks up on it, turning to see what I’m looking at. “Ah, fucking hell,” he groans. See? He gets it.
“Would it be bad form if we—”
“Yes. Go tell your sister we’re leaving.”
“Yes, angel,” he grumbles, dragging his feet as he begrudgingly makes his way back down the stairs.
Kinsley shifts to stand at my side. “Law—”
“Don’t.”
“But—”
“I’m fine. It doesn’t matter.” She’s not mine.
“Your feelings matter.” I look down at her and she watches me with knowing eyes.
“My feelings don’t exist.”
Her shoulders drop and we both turn back to the dance floor as Jace closes the last of the distance between him and his sister, our little conversation fading under the club music.
Kinsley is the only person who knows about my nonexistent feelings. It wasn’t on purpose, but a horrible case of being in the wrong place at the wrong time.
A couple weeks ago, I was picking up some last minute things on my way to their cottage when I saw a flash of golden hair as it disappeared into a red sports car. At first, I thought it was my eyes playing tricks on me, but then she didn’t show up for family dinner.
Blake unknowingly did me a favor when she asked why Sydney wasn’t there and Jace didn’t bother hiding his annoyance when he said she was having drinks with an old friend.
That’s when it clicked. I’d seen that particular red sports car before. She was with her ex-boyfriend. Some wanker she saw off and on during her last year of secondary school.
The same bloke I brought her sweets to dry her tears when he drove away for the last time. At least, what I thought would be the last time.
I’d quickly excused myself after the revelation, desperate for space. Kinsley caught me five minutes later staring into the fridge. I’d apparently looked wrecked. Her words.
Before I knew what was happening, we were settled at the island and everything I’d been holding in for years came rushing out. I let her see the vulnerability I tried so hard to ignore was there. It was the first and only time I’d ever fully done so. And she blessedly didn’t judge me for any of it.
She promised she’d keep this between us and she’s kept to her word. Not once has she brought up the secrets I spilled that night. To me or anyone else.
Until tonight. And as terrified as I’ve been for someone else to know this part of me exists, it’s just as comforting knowing she cared enough to make sure I wasn’t about to tip over the edge into somewhere I wouldn’t be able to crawl my way back from.
Jace finally scrounges up enough courage to get his sister’s attention before he takes a hefty step away. Sydney stops dancing and pulls away, her eyes widening when she sees her older brother shifting awkwardly, looking anywhere but at her.
It’s almost as if she wasn’t expecting it to be him, but someone a little taller, darker, and who wouldn’t be quite so… delicate as to simply tap her shoulder.
With an apologetic look at Mr. Polo, she follows Jace back over to us. My eyes rake over her as she fixes her hair and pulls the hem of her dress back down her thighs. She looks up and her steps falter when she catches me watching her.
Collecting her wits, she faces Kinsley. “Hey there, mama. Partied too hard, huh?”
“What can I say? I was living in an imaginary world where I’m totally capable of staying up past ten o’clock.”
Sydney glances towards the bar and smiles. “Well it’s five past ten, so you did it!”
Kinsley barely raises her arms in a cheer before collapsing back against Jace’s chest. He laughs and kisses her cheek. “Okay, time to get my girls home.”
After our goodbyes and wishing them a happy new year, Sydney skips over to the table. Jace catches my eye and I move over the edge of the stairs with him. “You going to head out soon?”
I glance over my shoulder at the girl trying to dig the last cherry out of her drink. “I’ll stick around. Make sure she gets home okay.”
Jace nods. “I appreciate it. I know she’s a big girl, but—”
“It’s okay. I got her.” Always.
He smirks. “Alrighty then. See you next year.”
I bark out a laugh and he winks before jogging off to catch up with Kinsley. I tamp down the niggling jealousy when she snuggles into his side as he guides them towards the exit.
Shite. Wait. That sounds bad.
I’m not jealous of my best mate’s girl. Don’t get me wrong, she’s an amazing and beautiful woman, but she has and will always be the second half of Jace.
They’re the perfect match.
That is where my jealousy comes in.
Because the one person who I believe to be the other half of my dark and damaged soul?
I look back at the booth, my eyes connecting with her blue ones.
She’s someone I won’t ever get to call mine.