Chapter 26
SYDNEY
“Take me home,” I say against his chest.
He pulls back, eyebrows furrowing slightly. “Sydney—”
“Take me home.” I pause, pulling his face back down to mine for a soft kiss.
He releases a heavy groan and his hands slide up to frame my face. “Whatever you want, sunshine. It’s yours.”
“I only want you. I’ve only ever wanted you.”
He slams his mouth on mine and I wrap my arms around his shoulders, trying to pull him impossibly closer. A car honks as it drives by and Lawson pulls back.
He holds me like I’m the most precious thing in the world to him. “Let’s go home.”
He leads me to the car hand in hand, only breaking our connection when he helps me inside before sliding behind the wheel. I trace the tattoos on his hand the entire ride home, a sense of rightfulness filling my soul.
Like maybe now our timelines have finally synched up. And this is our shot.
Shadow greets us as we walk through the front door and we go through the motions of letting him out and feeding him. I lean against the counter and Lawson props himself against the far wall. We watch each other silently as the sounds of Shadow eating fill the room.
“God you’re beautiful,” he whispers.
I bite my lip and walk around the island until I’m standing right in front of him. Reaching up, I run a finger over his jaw, down his neck, and flatten my hand over his heart. “So are you.”
His eyes bounce between mine. “Are you sure about this?”
“I’ve never been more sure about anything in my life.”
“We don’t have to have sex tonight. Everything that happened is a lot and I want you to know I’m not expecting that. You’re just as much mine if all we do is sleep. As long as I have you in my arms.”
“We can sleep.”
“Okay.”
I step closer to him and press up so our faces are a breath away from each other. “After.”
He huffs a laugh and bends, capturing the backs of my thighs in his hands. He’s moving before I even have my legs fully wrapped around his waist.
“Whatever you want, sunshine.”
“I want you,” I whisper and press my lips to his.
He doesn’t stop feeding into the kiss even as he walks up the stairs. A part of me preens at the fact he carries me so easily, like I’m nothing more than a feather in his hands.
The door slams when he kicks it closed moments before my back meets the soft embrace of his bed. My hands roam wherever they can reach, finding purchase at the bottom of his shirt.
He helps me pull it off of him before diving back in, his mouth tracing over my jaw and down my neck.
“Lawson,” I moan when his teeth scrape that spot where my neck meets my shoulder.
“You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for this. How many times I’ve dreamed of this.” He speaks against my skin.
I arch my back allowing him to pull my shirt up and over my head. He stares down at me, an emotion I’ve never seen shining in his dark eyes. It’s a look I know well because I’ve felt it every time I’ve looked at him these past eight years.
“I have to tell you something,” I rush out.
He falls back on his heels. “It’s okay, we don’t have to—”
“No.” I quickly sit up and place my hands on the side of his face. “That’s not it. I want this. I want you, but… but I need to tell you this because I don’t want there to be anything else between us if we’re really going to do this. Open communication, right?”
He smirks, running his thumb over my cheek. “Yeah, love. Open communication.”
He wraps his arms around me, pulling me onto his lap. I take a deep breath and close my eyes. “I’m a virgin,” I whisper.
When there’s no response, I peek open an eye, but what I see isn’t shock or even disbelief. It’s adoration.
“Fuck, you’re perfect.”
“What?”
He shakes his head with a low chuckle and tucks my hair behind my ears.
“There’s something I need to tell you, too, sweetheart.
Open communication and all that.” I giggle and he takes a deep breath.
Blowing it out, he locks his gaze with mine as a flash of worry breaks through his features. “I am too.”
“You are what too?” He laughs, raising an eyebrow. My head jerks back when the dots finally connect. “What? No. No way.”
“Yes way.”
“Why? How? Wait, you don’t need to answer that.”
“It’s okay. If I’m being honest, at first it was because I couldn’t stand someone else touching me, even the idea of it made my skin crawl.”
“But you let me touch you all the time.”
His lips tilt. “Yeah. Only you. It’s only ever you.”
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t know if I was just waiting, hopeful, or completely out of my mind like I am whenever I’m near you, but…”
“Me. It’s always been me.”
“Yeah,” he whispers, leaning in and brushing his lips over mine. “It’s always been you.”
My heart explodes out of my chest and I launch myself at him. Our clothes quickly litter the floor until there’s nothing left between us.
I stare at him with wide eyes as he stands tall in front of me. My eyes raking over the expanse of tattooed skin, years of honed muscle, and settling on the thick length of him hanging heavy between his legs.
This is the first time since we’ve ventured over this line together that we’ve been completely bare in front of one another. I silently curse that it’s taken us this long.
Then again, everything happens for a reason and when it’s meant to.
This? Us? Right here and now?
It was inevitable.
And it’s so worth the wait. It’s worth everything.
He shuffles on his feet, his hands flexing at his sides. I push up to my knees, my hand reaching out. He snatches it right before I can make contact and my eyes shoot up to his.
“Sorry,” he grits out, “I’m already on edge just at the sight of you and I fear I may utterly embarrass myself if you touch me… there, right now.”
“I’ll be gentle,” I whisper.
He huffs a laugh and bites his bottom lip, giving me the smallest of nods.
I focus back on the beast in front of me and let out a shaky breath when he relents his hold on my hand. Slowly, I reach out and he grunts when my fingers brush over the first piercing. One of four that line the bottom of his shaft.
“Did it hurt?” I ask, glancing up at him.
His face is twisted in concentration, hands balled into fists and abs flexing. His chin drops to his chest as he looks down at me, heat threatening to set me on fire. “I like the pain.”
My lips twitch when a shudder rushes through him as my thumb rolls over the black jewelry. Because of course it’s black metal.
“Does that feel good?”
“So good,” he rushes out breathlessly. I lick my lips but pause when he lets out a choking sound. “Sunshine, as much as I want your mouth on me right now, I don’t think I could take it. I need to be inside you more than I need my next breath.”
Well, how’s a girl supposed to say no to that?
I drop my hand and inch backwards on the bed, my skin prickling under his hungry eyes as they roam over every inch of my body.
“Then come and have me,” I say, biting my lip when it doesn’t come out as shaky as I feel. Holding on to that miniscule amount of confidence, I drop my legs open.
A growl rips out of him and he prowls towards the bed, crawling up my body until his hips are nestled between mine. I sigh as his hands roam up my sides, his fingers flexing over my neck before he cradles my face.
The head of his cock rubs against my sensitive clit and he captures our moans with a heated kiss. My fingers thread through his silky black hair and I yank on him, trying to get him impossibly closer.
He keeps up his shallow movements, running the length of him over my center and I shiver at the feel of his piercings.
“I can’t believe this is happening. That you’re finally mine,” he says between heavy breaths.
“I’ve always been yours,” I say, pulling him back for another soul-rendering kiss.
He groans when I nip at his lip and chase it away with my tongue. I suck in a breath when he does the same to me. Smiling against one another, our bodies begin to move. We’re so in sync that my heart threatens to beat out of my chest at how right all of this feels.
The constant pulse of his cock over my clit builds and builds until I’m a writhing mess underneath him. “More,” I moan.
He pulls back slightly and watches me with softened eyes. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You’re not going to hurt me. Please, Lawson, I need you.”
He curses, propping himself on one hand and using the other to brush my wild hair back from my face. “Sydney, I—”
“I know,” I say, cutting him off. He doesn’t need to say it, because I see it every time I look at him. I’m not in this alone. And maybe, just maybe, we’ve been here together for years without even knowing it.
“Do it,” I plead. “And don’t be gentle.” I want to feel him for the rest of my life.
He hesitates and I roll my hips, notching the head of him at my entrance. He curses, and drops his chin to his chest, watching just the tip of him slip inside me.
I throw my head back, biting my lip. “Make me yours,” I whisper.
His eyes flash up to mine and he slowly wraps a hand around my throat. He doesn’t put any pressure into the hold, his fingers gently stroking my jaw. Leaning down he speaks directly against my lips. “That’s the thing, sunshine. You’ve always been mine.”
I scream when he thrusts all the way inside in one fluid motion. There’s a sharp sting before it slowly ebbs into an ache as he stays still, filling me completely.
Cursing, his eyes dart between mine, worry creasing his forehead. “Are you okay?”
I nod frantically and dig my nails into his hips. “Move. I need you to move.”
His hips draw back slowly before plunging forward again and we both groan.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck. You feel amazing. More than amazing.”
“Uh huh,” I squeak out as my hips start to roll under him, pain quickly shifting to a tidal wave of pleasure.
He swallows my moans as he begins to pick up his pace and I feel the tightness in my core heat to a whole other level I never knew existed. He hisses out a breath when I rake my nails down his back.
“Fuck, do that again.”
I comply and dig my nails into his arse. He presses up, his eyes dropping to the space between us. I follow his gaze and a moan bursts out of me at the sight of his thick shaft disappearing inside me over and over again.
“Look at how perfect you’re taking me. It’s like you were made for me.”
I throw my head back when his hand slips between us, his thumb circling my clit. My orgasm races forward and I arch my back. He takes the opportunity to lean down, sucking my hardened nipple into his mouth.
“I’m close,” I squeak out as wave after wave of pleasure builds.
“Come for me. I want to feel you strangle my cock.”
His tongue lashes at my nipple and my hands fly to the back of his head, my fingers tugging on the dark strands. Euphoria greets me the moment he pinches my nipple between his teeth and my scream echoes around the room as my orgasm washes over me in a never-ending wave.
His hips falter as I come and he watches me intently, as if he’s memorizing every twitch of my body in this moment.
When I finally catch my breath, I gaze up at him under heavy eyelids. Taking his hand, I slide it up my chest and wrap it around my neck.
“Mark me. Inside and out.”
His fingers flex around my throat and I smile, knowing this is exactly what he needs.
What we both need.
The balance of power.
The bite of pain as my nails scrape down his chest and his hips slam so hard into mine.
The shared trust that I know he would never hurt me and I’m proving as much to him allowing him to have complete control over me.
“Play with yourself,” he commands and I immediately obey. His lips tip up and he thrusts a little harder. “That’s my good girl.”
Together, we quickly push me back to the edge until I’m gasping.
“Lawson.”
“Sydney,” he says my name like a prayer.
“I’m—”
“Coming,” he groans.
His hips thrust once. Twice.
And the world as we know it implodes.