Chapter 40
FORTY
nate
Olivia leaned into me as she checked into the hotel room. When it came time to pay, I passed over my credit card when she tried to use hers.
She hadn’t panicked again, but I could see that she was on edge. When I closed the door to the hotel room, she immediately pulled at me.
“Wait.” I understood little about what was happening with her, but I felt in my bones that if I let her brush this under the carpet, I’d regret it. “What’s got you tied up in knots?”
She sighed. “At the game, these women were talking about you.”
“And?”
She huffed and avoided eye contact. “And it made me feel jealous—I’ve never felt jealous before.”
“Why did it make you feel jealous? I mean, I had plans to meet up with you, I’m right here.”
“That’s not it, Nate.”
“Explain it to me like I’m four, then. Because from where I’m standing, the only woman I see is you.”
She sat on the edge of the bed, resting her elbows on her knees, and dropped her face into her hands. “It made me realize that it’s going to hurt when one day I have to watch you with another woman.”
“Why is that?”
“God, you’re going to make me spell it out, aren’t you?” Her frustration was evident as her voice shook.
“No, Liv, why is it you assume that you’re going to watch me with another woman?”
“Because it’s against the rules. My rules, Nate. I said no feelings.”
“Fuck the rules. We can change those anytime we want.”
“But I can’t. I have survived because I haven’t gotten involved with anyone. There’s been no parade of men in Cooper’s life. He’s never seen me date anyone.”
I pulled her into my arms, and she resisted before she let herself relax. “You’ve done a great job keeping Coop away from the chaos. But you’re missing something—”
“Oh, please tell me what I’m missing. Like I don’t already know I’m fucking up left and right.”
I lifted her chin and held it so she couldn’t avoid looking at me. “Stop. You didn’t let me finish.”
She swallowed, eyes darting around nervously. “Okay.”
“Cooper deserves to be surrounded by love. And he deserves the chance to see what it’s like to have parents who love each other—even if those parents aren’t both his biological parents. But even more importantly—you deserve it, too.”
I let go of her chin, and she dropped her forehead to my chest. “I’m so sorry, Nate. You should be out with those groupies, not wasting time with a mess like me.”
“I’m where I want to be.”
She looked back up, eyes red with unshed tears. Damn, she was good at holding it all in. “I never wanted to be here. I thought I was fine by myself.”
“Do you still think that?”
She sighed. “No. I think it was a lie I spun to make myself feel better about my situation.”
I kissed the side of her mouth, and she leaned into me, responding by deepening the kiss. I pulled back, not ready to let her shift the conversation to sex just yet, and knowing that was where we were headed if I allowed the kiss to continue.
“I have feelings for you, too.”
“I figured,” she said with a wry laugh. “I’m sorry, Nate. This whole thing was selfish of me. And now we’re both going to end up hurt.”
“It was selfish of me, too. I wanted you the second I saw you.”
“So, where do we go from here?” she asked.
“Do we need to figure that out tonight? I mean, this hot old lady promised me a blowjob if I hit a home run. I fulfilled my end of the bargain.”
“Old, huh?”
“She keeps saying she is. But man, she’s the best I’ve ever had.”
“Only, Nate. I’m the only woman you’ve had.”
“You like that more than you’re willing to admit.”
“Oh, I’ll admit it. It doesn’t hurt that you’re such a quick study.”