Chapter 22 EMMETT #2
The sting in my nose was unbearable. A lump the size of Montana had grown in my throat. My wise, incredible mother. We sat together with my father, a man who’d loved us both enough to trade his life for ours.
“I’ll come over later and help you go through Dad’s things,” I said.
“You don’t have to.”
“I want to.”
She sat up straight and when I met her gaze, her eyes were full of unshed tears. Mom looked older today. The creases around her eyes were deeper than I’d noticed lately. “I love you, Emmett.”
“I love you, Mom.”
She shifted, getting to her knees. Then she kissed my cheek and stood.
“What about your blanket?” I asked, shifting, but she waved me off.
“Bring it home when you’re ready.”
I nodded and watched as she walked back to her car. Then she was gone, leaving me alone with my old man.
What do I do?
Dad didn’t answer. Maybe because there wasn’t an answer here. Or maybe because the answer I knew was another goodbye.
I was in no hurry to leave, so I sat there, my arms draped over my knees, and let the sun warm my shoulders. I closed my eyes, drew in the clean air and hoped the answer would come if I stayed long enough.
Maybe I’d fallen asleep because I jerked at the sound of footsteps. Dash was walking over.
“Hey.” He took Mom’s place on the blanket.
“Hey. What are you doing here?”
“Same thing as you.” He jerked his chin toward the other end of the cemetery. “Came to talk to my dad.”
Probably to tell him that the clubhouse was gone.
“You all right?” I asked.
“No. You?”
“No.”
I wasn’t sure where we went from here. Tomorrow was a Monday, and I didn’t know how I’d ride into the lot at the garage and not feel this gaping hole.
Not from the clubhouse. There’d been times in the past when I’d hoped Dash would bulldoze the place to the ground.
Because part of me had hoped that if it was gone, the sins we’d committed in that building would disappear too.
No, the hole was Nova.
How did I go back to my life and forget her? How did I move on from this?
How did I let her go?
The sound of an engine drifted over the grass. Both Dash and I turned to see Leo ride up and park behind my bike. Dash had driven his truck, which was probably why I hadn’t heard him. That, or I’d been asleep.
As Leo crossed the grass, Dash and I shifted, making space for him on Mom’s blanket.
He sat without a word.
We didn’t need them.
This was what we were. Clubhouse or not. Tin King or not. We were brothers. We showed up for each other until the end.
Until we joined our fathers in this graveyard and said our own goodbyes.
“This couldn’t be what they wanted,” I said, breaking the silence. “Dad. Draven. This couldn’t have been where they wanted to end up.”
Dash shook his head. “It should hurt, the clubhouse gone. All of it gone. It should hurt. But I just . . . I’m so fucking tired of it all.”
“It has to stop,” Leo said. “We can’t keep living like this. In fear that someone will come after our wives and kids. We can’t put that burden on our families. Teaching our kids to look over their shoulders. Making our wives go nowhere alone. How do we make it stop?”
If I had the answer, I’d move heaven and earth to see it happen. For them. For their women and children. “What a damn mess.”
Dash hummed his agreement.
“What will you do about . . .” Leo trailed off before he could finish his question.
Not that he needed to. Her. What would I do about her?
“It’s over.” It had to be over. Nova and I had burned down just like Friday night’s fire.
“I couldn’t sleep last night,” Dash said. “Just kept thinking about things. About the past. About all the things I wish I had done differently. What I wish I hadn’t done, period.”
Each of us sitting here was far from innocent.
We were as guilty as the men we’d come to visit.
The Tin Kings hadn’t been good men. We’d killed.
We’d inflicted pain. We’d ruined lives all in the name of the club and let violence blaze the trail.
But because it had been in the name of the club, we’d given ourselves grace. Too much grace.
Then we’d quit the club, and in a way, disbanding had been our redemption.
A second chance we hadn’t really deserved.
“There’s no erasing it,” Dash said. “None of it. All we can do is move forward. Do better than we did. And pray that when vengeance comes, it strikes swift. And it strikes true. That it leaves our wives, our children free. I won’t have my sons tainted by this.
If that means I sacrifice myself, the way Dad did for me and Genevieve and Nick, then so be it.
I won’t have my sons come home to find . . .”
Pain radiated off of Dash’s body. He didn’t need to finish speaking. We all knew that he was picturing Bryce at home, dead, left for her children to find.
This had to stop.
“I used to wonder . . . if Mom had asked Dad to quit, would he have done it?”
Dash nodded. “I wonder the same thing. But Mom never would have asked.”
“Mine neither.”
They’d loved their men, flaws and all. Much like Bryce and Cass.
“Last night, I told Cass everything.” Leo blew out a long breath.
“I don’t know why. I didn’t want to tell her anything.
I didn’t want her to look at me differently.
We were talking about the clubhouse and it just .
. . poured out. I thought she’d be disappointed or .
. . I don’t know. But she wasn’t. She loves me for me, no matter my past sins. ”
“Bryce knows too,” Dash said. “All of it. She’s known for years. And I swear to God, she loves me more for it. Because she sees how hard I try to do better. She makes me want to be a better man. Every day.”
“Maybe you need to talk to her,” Leo said to me.
I shook my head. “I killed her brother. She’s Tucker’s daughter. It’s just . . . it’s too much to overcome.”
“Life’s short.” Dash gestured to Dad’s tombstone. “If our fathers taught us anything, it should be to appreciate what you have because it can all disappear in a second.”
“She came here for Tucker.” I blew out a long breath. “We don’t know what she was planning. To kill me. You. She came here for his revenge.”
Leo nodded. “She did. But she didn’t take it.”
“I was there Friday night,” Dash said. “She could have pulled the trigger, but she didn’t.”
No, instead she’d burned the clubhouse down. “Why are you telling me this? Shouldn’t you be warning me away from her?”
“Probably.” Dash chuckled. “She’s Tucker Talbot’s daughter. Bastard or not, she might be the only one to end this war. You pull her into our fold, he’s got a reason to back off.”
I laughed because of course Dash would see every angle to my love life. “Christ, you are a selfish prick.”
“Yes, I am.” He grinned. “That aside, I watched a woman’s heart break that night. A woman you’re in love with and a woman who I suspect is in love with you.”
“I killed her brother,” I repeated. “And as you so clearly just pointed out, she’s Tucker’s daughter.”
“It’s a lot to overcome.” He nodded. “Maybe ten years ago, it would have been too much. But we’ve changed. We’re not those men. And I, for one, wouldn’t be who I am without Bryce. She changed my life.”
Leo nodded. “And Cass changed mine.”
What the hell? This was not the discussion I’d expected today. “She lied to me. About everything.”
“Sounds like her entire life has been based on a lie. The truth has a way of changing your reality. A way of setting you free. There’s a win, a win for everyone here. You and Nova included.”
I dragged a hand over my face. “How do I trust her?”
Dash gave me a sad smile. What he didn’t do was answer.
Because that wasn’t his answer to find.
It was mine.