Chapter 15 - Asher
It wasn’t that I didn’t want Micah. I did.
I really did. But talking to my parents had definitely dampened my spirits, cutting through the haze of lust and desire, reminding me there was a whole real world out there I’d have to face if things went much further than they already had.
Mom had asked me about my healing, of course, but she’d thrown in a few questions about my dating life—as usual.
I pinched the bridge of my nose to fend off a headache as we walked back to his car.
By the time we’d made it to my house, the headache was in full bloom and I really was ready for bed.
The next morning was Saturday and before I even got out of bed, Jackson was texting me, begging for some best friend time. I agreed, and we decided to meander around downtown Port Grandlin, get ice cream, and window shop.
We met near the Radiance, the old movie theater that had been renovated a while ago, before Heartland Overhaul had even heard of Port Grandlin. After we both parked, we wandered and chatted.
“So,” Jackson said suggestively as we turned onto Main Street. “How are things?”
I rolled my eyes and gently shoved his shoulder.
“By things, do you mean, ‘How’s your healing, Asher? How does your shoulder feel? Is your hip okay? How about that concussion?’ Because those are reasonable questions to ask.
” I said it hoping to redirect the conversation away from my sex life, such that it was.
“How’s your healing, Asher?” he parroted. “How does your shoulder feel? Is your hip okay? How about that concussion?”
With a sigh, I ran my fingers through my hair, stalling before giving him what he really wanted. It was no use. I was as ready to tell him as he was ready to hear it all. “We hooked up.”
Jackson’s grin was enormous as he turned to me. “Tell me you’re not fucking with me.”
“I’m definitely not fucking with you,” I assured him.
“That’s amazing. Tell me everything.”
“Jackson!”
“What?” He put on an innocent face and batted his eyelashes at me. “I’m just wondering, that’s all.”
“Don’t you think I probably shouldn’t kiss and tell?”
“Please, like that’s ever been a policy between us. I tell you everything. Spill.”
I closed my eyes for a second, remembering how it felt to come by someone else’s touch.
A friend’s touch. A friend who happened to be a guy.
It had been a long, long time since I’d been with anyone and it felt both foreign and natural at the same time.
“I don’t know,” I confessed. “We were in the kitchen, kissing, and the next thing I knew, our dicks were out and we were touching each other.”
“Hot,” Jackson said. “Are you going to hook up again?”
I shrugged and looked at the sidewalk. “I don’t know.”
Jackson stopped walking and stepped in front of me. “Are you freaking out?”
When I looked at him again, my stomach ached from anxiety over the whole situation. “Maybe a little.”
“Hey,” he murmured. “It’s going to be okay. Do you like him?”
I gave him a half-smile. “Obviously. We’re friends.”
“Right, but do you like him? I mean, do you want to be with him? Are you glad you did it? Do you want to do it again?”
I thought for a moment as Jackson stepped aside and we started walking again.
Did I want to do it again? I remembered the way he sounded as he came and the slick, hot stroking of his fist on my cock as his own orgasm rocked his body.
My mouth watered at the thought of tasting him, and when I imagined falling into bed with him, my cock ached in my jeans.
“Yeah. I do.”
He nodded once, firmly, as if that was that. “Good. Then that’s all you need to know.”
I looked at Jackson, eyebrows raised. “But—”
“But nothing. Follow your heart. Or, in this case, your dick.”
I laughed weakly and shook my head a little. “Can we talk about something else? I have a lot to process and I’m not sure I’m ready for the whole town to hear about my new… experiences. What about you? Have you been on any good dates lately?”
“Good dates, or dates that make good stories? Because no to the first and yes to the second.”
“You really do have the worst luck. What happened this time?”
“Look, I like kids. Give me a single dad any day. Dad bods? Yes please. But he brought his kid on our date. Didn’t tell me he even had one, just brought him along as a surprise.
Said he didn’t have a babysitter last minute, which, fine, we can reschedule or something, right?
Or hell, we could have a good time all three of us.
But no. He spent the rest of the date distracted on his phone while I entertained his kid. ”
“Wow. Did you have a good time at least?”
Jackson shrugged. “Sure. Like I said, I like kids. The kid—his name was Davey, by the way—was about ten and we had a good time talking about video games and drawing pictures together.”
“What a disaster.”
He shrugged again. “Whatever. Onward and upward.”
“That’s the spirit.” We stopped then at the ice cream shop, stepping inside, the cool air inside a reprieve from the Virginia humidity. “Can I tell you something?”
Jackson grinned. “Hello. Of course you can.”
“When I was in fifth grade, Micah made me a birdhouse.”
“That one you keep on the back porch?”
“That’s the one. Anyway, I made him a picture frame, and I stuck a picture in it of us at the pool. He kept it. It’s on his dresser.”
“That’s… really cute.”
“Is it weird?”
“Weird? Why would it be?”
I shrugged, my brain feeling like it was working overtime. “I don’t know. They’re maybe twenty-five years old, the picture frame and the birdhouse. Is it weird that we both kept them?”
“Hold that thought.” Jackson ordered a scoop of vanilla ice cream, while I ordered rocky road, and when we left the shop, he turned to me.
“It’s not weird. It’s sweet. You both meant a lot to each other back then.
I don’t think it’s weird at all. You’re overthinking this. Relax. Just let things happen.”
I nodded slowly. “You’re probably right.” A few moments passed before I spoke again. “But…”
Jackson raised his eyebrows. “Yeah?”
“Well… he’s leaving soon, right? When the show’s over. Should I really just ‘let things happen’ knowing he’s got one foot out the door?”
“What do you mean?”
I took a slow breath and tried to explain. “Micah is leaving when the show’s over. My home is here. What happens next?”
“Besides you getting to hook up with that very hot friend of yours, learn about your own sexuality with someone who’s safe to explore with, and have a good time doing it all?
” With a shrug, he took a bite of his ice cream—an actual bite, like an animal—and looked at me thoughtfully.
“Don’t rush to figure out the end. Take it one day at a time.
You never know what can happen until you try. ”