Chapter 15 #4
So you let Devore take even that from you, too, hissed that cruel voice in the back of his head one night.
Another night that Nate had slept over, another night he’d wanted but hadn’t asked, and so hadn’t had because Nate, like some smiling, pretty vampire standing outside his doorstep, wasn’t going to be the one asking until he was invited.
And if Nate had any idea of all that kept Connor up in the middle of the night, well, he certainly made no indication of it. Connor certainly did his best to not let any of it show.
One night, Connor stepped outside both of their comfort zones by inviting Nate on a date–a real date, not just dinner at his apartment.
“Uh–what were you thinking?” Nate asked, clearly hesitating when he wanted to say no. Not that Connor blamed him much.
Taking it outside made it observable, and that made it real.
“How do you feel about a movie? There’s this cinema, probably close to you. It’s in Santa Ana and they do–you know–gay movies sometimes.”
Connor didn’t know how Nate would react to that, but he put it out there all the same. Ball in his court.
Nate seemed to steal a nervous glance at the office door, which was closed, before looking back at Connor, his expression softening just a little.
“What’s playing?”
They settled on a screening of one of Connor’s favorite movies, a British film about two men who meet at a gay bar. He picked Nate up outside his house in Santa Ana. And strangely enough, sitting beside Nate in that theater couldn’t have felt more normal. They even shared popcorn.
In retrospect, it might not have been the best choice. The bulk of the film’s plot centered on one of the men and his unwillingness to come out. Connor wondered what Nate might have thought about that, but he didn’t ask.
It wasn’t his to interrogate.
But Nate had been quiet as the credits rolled, quite unlike him. Connor found himself talking just to fill the silence, the two of them walking around downtown Santa Ana safe in the anonymity of the late night.
“They usually play a couple queer films a month,” Connor said, referring to the little theater. “Some mainstream stuff, too. But a good rotation of art films, too.”
“You a film guy, Connor?” Nate asked with a grin. “You seem to know a lot about them.”
“I know a few things,” Connor answered with a tilt of his head, matching Nate’s grin.
“You’ll have to teach me.”
“Think you’re up for learning?”
“Consider me your eager student.”
It used to feel maddening, the way Nate could flash that grin and an easy line like that, like there was some unspoken expectation that he was a man used to getting anything he wanted.
That couldn’t have felt farther from the truth now, as Connor found himself matching Nate’s grin. No, this was just Nate. His own charm. His own irresistable good looks.
None of that came from Berkshire. None of that could have been handed to him.
Connor never felt more certain of that than he did that night, the two of them finding themselves back in his apartment, just as they always did. But not with the sole purpose being to hook up, to sleep together and then kick Nate out in the morning.
For one, Nate brought his e-reader.
“I didn't know you liked to read,” Connor commented as Nate settled in beside him, swiping through something on the screen.
“I can get through a couple books a week, on a good week,” Nate grinned. “Maybe one on a bad week.”
“What are you reading now?”
“Don’t judge me, okay?”
“Not judging.” Connor motioned to his laptop, the proposal minimized on his screen. “I bring work to bed.”
Nate’s expression was unreadable for a moment, but then it passed. He looked between Connor and his e-reader for a moment before flipping it over so he could show his library to Connor, scrolling down a long list of titles and covers.
Dozens and dozens of books, titles Connor was sure he might have heard of somewhere but hadn’t looked into. Maybe hundreds of books in total.
“Wow. You’re definitely a reader,” Connor commented, not without a bit of jealousy. He used to read like that, but that was before college, before adult life had crept in and his responsibilities started calling the shots.
Well, maybe that was an excuse, looking at how much Nate read.
“Yeah–I mean, reading’s mad cheap, you know?
We didn’t have a lot when I was a kid, but I guess I liked, you know, imagining different worlds.
Kinda like an escapism. My mom used to take me to the library as like, a reward, if I could sit still and let her do her errands on the weekends.
” He made a face. “I was kind of a handful.”
“That’s hard to imagine,” Connor said, with just a bit of playful sarcasm. He rested his chin against Nate’s shoulder. “What do you like reading?
“I like thrillers,” Nate replied, like he was more than a little excited to be talking about this to Connor.
“Not horror, not crime. Not exactly high-brow but I like a good, you know, popcorn thriller. A woman with a dead hot husband, her husband wrongs her in some way, and there’s always some twist.”
That got a smile out of Connor.
“Like, what, Gone Girl?”
“Yeah, exactly.” Nate’s expression turned wistful. “Man, I loved that book. Most of what I read isn’t that good, but it’s fun.”
“What’s the book you’re reading now about?”
“Kind of like a reverse Misery. Woman hits a guy with her car. He's playing grateful and appreciative, but he’s a serial killer.”
“Sounds like our good Samaritan is in danger, huh.”