Chapter 19 #3
“Nate,” Connor managed, voice tight in his chest, “Nate. I need you. Come on. I need you.”
His voice had taken a keening edge that might have felt humiliating, if he had any mind to feel humiliated.
Maybe it was Nate coming up to kiss him, maybe it was Connor’s sheer determination and will pulling him up, but Nate’s grip on his thighs relaxed as his lips met Connor’s again, tasting his own forbidden musk as he licked into his mouth.
And Nate drew back, trailing a thin string of spittle between their lips.
“You said you had condoms?”
Connor nodded, gaze flickering to his dresser across the room.
“Bottom drawer.”
The lube was still sitting on his nightstand–Connor handed it to Nate as he climbed back into bed, watching with a sly smile as he ripped open a foil packet, rolling on the condom with hands that trembled ever so slightly.
“I won’t bite,” Connor breathed out. Nate bit the inside of his cheek for a moment, a hand coming to rest against Connor’s chest before kissing him.
“I know you won’t.” Nate caught his hand, giving it a little squeeze. “You haven’t yet, right?”
“I don’t think I’ve got the teeth for it,” Connor replied, kissing Nate’s knuckles before letting him go.
This was the part he always liked–laying back with his legs spread, bent at the knee, anticipation fluttering in his stomach while he watched another man slicking up his cock.
All for him.
Only for him.
It was for him that Nate was wearing a condom in the first place, getting himself slick, standing erect, for him that he’d defied his father, maybe torpedoed his career–
For him, that Connor had come back in the first place, ready to fight, ready to resist.
“Ready?” Nate asked, voice breathless, looking down at Connor like he was the most incredible thing he’d laid eyes on. Far from the first time Nate had looked at him like that.
Oh, the things he would do to ensure Nate never stopped looking at him like that.
Connor nodded, sucking in a breath through ribs tight with anticipation. He eyed the length of his cock, already imagining how Nate would feel inside him.
“Ready,” he answered breathlessly, motioning Nate forward with two of his fingers.
The mattress sank beneath Nate’s weight as he climbed back onto the bed, their bodies slotted together, a strong arm pushing one of his legs back against his chest. The pressure caught in Connor’s throat as Nate positioned himself over his body, face to face.
Exactly as he wanted it.
He sucked in a steadying breath, reaching up to trail his fingers along the stubble at Nate’s jaw.
“What are you thinking?” Nate asked in a low voice, like he was offering Connor a way out, if he wanted it.
“I’m thinking, this is one hell of a view,” Connor admitted, his lips curling.
Nate’s gaze softened.
“I could say the same thing from up here.”
Connor was the one to circle his fingers around Nate’s cock, aligning his blunt head against his own entrance.
He gave a quick jerk of his head, a nod beckoning Nate forward.
And forward Nate went, bracing himself with one hand against the mattress, right there next to Connor’s head as he sank down, down, down.
For a moment, Connor forgot how to breathe, feeling Nate’s cock all the way in his throat, feeling himself clenching tight around his shaft.
Fuck.
In his head, it hadn’t felt all too long since he’d last done this–less than a year ago, but…
He sucked in a breath, fingers curling against Nate’s skin, trying to find a comfortable position for his legs, grinding up against him if only to help himself adjust.
“You good, Connor?” Nate asked, his breath tickling his nose, not moving enough for his liking.
“God, you feel huge,” Connor breathed, eyes screwed shut–he didn’t mean to say it, but there it was.
He’d had Nate in his hand–in his mouth–plenty of times, but it wasn’t until he was inside him that he realized his girth.
And maybe that should have felt embarrassing, but he didn’t have the capacity of mind for it.
No, he loved the stretch, the ache, the weight of Nate’s body atop him as perfect as perfect could–
“Connor. I need to hear you’re good,”
“I’m good,” Connor managed, opening his eyes. Nate squeezed his hand, and he squeezed it back.
When Nate finally moved, he did so with shallow strokes, experimenting with the give of his body, the angle of his legs, finding a more comfortable position.
But it was perfect.
Cautious and gentle, letting Connor want and want, teasing him just enough to seek out more. But it wasn’t teasing, was it?
No. Nate didn’t tease.
Nate offered. He gave a little. He let Connor take as much as he wanted and only gave up to that point. His own wants be damned.
His own aspirations be damned.
No man had ever cared more about Connor than his own interests. Dawson expected Connor to be just as happy living a simple life as he did. could feel the fullness he liked, the reminder of where they were connected in the throbbing of Nate’s pulse in his shaft.
He slid his hand between them, palming himself half-heartedly. Still hard enough that it felt good, but not as good as Nate inside him.
Connor held him still a moment before nodding, one of his hands sliding down Nate’s side to settle at his hip, feeling each breath Nate took as though into his own lungs.
The first slow rocks of his hips didn’t give Connor much. But he guided Nate into position, eased him exactly where he needed to be. But he was a good and eager student, wanting to learn, wanting to please.
He found his angle right there against Connor, open-mouth grin above him as his head fell back against the sheets, lips parted in a breathless moan.
The bedframe creaked beneath them with each lazy thrust from Nate, each attempt from Connor to meet him, his voice catching in his throat, on the edge of each breath.
All so effortless from Nate, dark eyes furrowed in focused intent, just soft enough that Connor could only melt.
Nate was right where he needed, a rolling between their bodies that felt as effortless as anything this good should have been.
He could come from this. Maybe he would, feeling the low simmering promise of a building, pooling heat there at the base of his spine, lapping up into his lungs with each drag of Nate’s cock.
Oh, how easy it was to lose himself in the rocking of Nate’s body against his, drawing soft moans and mews that should have been embarrassing, should have left Connor feeling emasculated.
But these he offered to Nate like a grave secret between them.
And when he opened his eyes, all he saw was Nate looking down at him, enchantment etched into his handsome features, creases between his brows.
As beautiful as he’d always been, as captivating as Connor had found him from the very moment they’d met.
He palmed himself with a lazy hand between them, the drag of Nate’s cock inside him against the drag of his fist over his own length–until Nate caught his wrist, drug his hand back up to pin against the mattress beside his head.
“Come from this, okay?” Nate asked–no, begged him, hips grinding right into his in that spot that made him see stars. “Just for me?”
And Nate didn’t need to ask twice. Nate never needed to ask twice.
Connor’s body answered for him as he clenched down on that cock, as he spilled right between them in a bitter mess that should have been humiliating. But then Nate followed right behind him, like that was exactly what he’d been waiting for this entire time.
For a moment, time seemed to have slowed to a standstill as Connor felt Nate twitch inside him, his expression blown, his body quaking against his own. Slowed to nothing, and then it was over. And then the two of them were still connected, riding down the last dregs of what remained.
And Connor took Nate’s face in both his hands, cradling his handsome features, those soft brown eyes, and he kissed him until he remembered the need to breathe.
“Stay right here,” was all he said when they pulled apart to breathe, his legs finding a more comfortable position around Nate’s hips. “Just stay with me.”
"I'm not going anywhere," Nate answered, kissing Connor's collarbone, his neck, his jaw.
Another man's body atop his own had never brought him the peace it did now, and Connor kept him right where he was until the need to move was undeniable. Condom discarded in the trash, wet cloths to clean themselves off, and only the silent warmth of the aftermath remained.
Connor found himself lying still against Nate, resting his head against his shoulder while draping an arm around his middle. His fingers curled into his skin.
Nate wasn't going anywhere, he said. And that meant Connor wasn't going anywhere, either.