Chapter 5
Milow
After dinner, we moved into the living room.
Gus carried the plate of cookies, and Iris brought the warm milk.
We all sat together, me next to Iris and Gus, and their warmth was so comforting.
It was nothing I had felt before. Iris pulled a blanket over my legs without asking, and I liked that she just knew what I needed.
Ashby sat on the floor in front of the coffee table, already eating the cookies.
He had eaten a lot at dinner already, and it had looked like he hadn’t eaten in years.
He was a hungry boy, and it made me scrunch my nose.
But not because I was disgusted. I was actually fascinated by how much that boy could eat.
Wesley sat on the other couch. His eyes landed on the book lying on the table. He picked it up and flipped through the pages, his brows lifting higher and higher.
“Sudokus?” he asked, looking from the book to me. “Did you solve them?”
I nodded slowly, expecting him to laugh. To call me a ‘nerd,’ as some other kids had back at the children’s home.
But Wesley's eyes widened as he looked back down, turning another page, and letting out a low whistle. “These are hard. Like, really hard.” He looked back at me, this time with something new in his eyes. He looked proud. “Only really smart people know how to solve these.”
Warmth spread inside me, and I lifted my chin without meaning to. I liked that he said that. I liked that he thought that about me.
“Yeah, super smart,” Ashby said with his mouth full. He chewed and swallowed, then added, “Smarter than Wesley because he can’t solve them.”
Wesley scrunched his nose at his little brother and gently kicked his legs with his foot. “You can’t solve them either.”
“Boys,” Iris said softly, shooting them a serious look.
“I haven’t tried to solve one yet,” Ashby muttered, looking up at me. “Will you teach me? And you also have to teach me your secret language.”
It was overwhelming. Everything I was seeing and hearing made my heart pound loudly in my chest, and everything I was feeling was so intense that I didn’t know how to handle it. But I stayed calm, knowing that getting agitated would only cause chaos inside of me.
I looked at Ashby and nodded. [I can teach you.]
As always, he snapped his eyes to Iris, waiting for her to tell him what I signed.
“She’ll teach you,” she assured him.
“Thanks, Milow!”
“Try this,” Gus said, lifting his flat hand to his chin and moving it forward and down. “This means ‘thank you.’”
Ashby watched Gus do it again, then he tried it himself, and Wesley did it too.
“Like this?” Wesley asked, and I gave an encouraging nod.
Ashby beamed when he got it right, his hand moving a little too fast and a little too big, but he was close enough.
I watched them both, and my heart felt so full it might have exploded.
I had never felt like this. I’d had only had good feelings since Iris and Gus brought me here.
That must’ve meant something. My heart kept beating fast, and I leaned a little closer into Iris without meaning to.
Her arm came around me right away, her embrace warm and comforting.
“Are you okay, sweetheart?” she asked quietly.
I nodded, but my eyes were starting to burn. I was getting tired, and my body felt like it was sinking into the couch. I couldn’t hold myself up anymore.
Ashby was still watching me closely, waiting for the next sign, his excitement buzzing between his words and movements. “What about another one?” he asked. “What’s the sign for… for my name?”
Gus chuckled softly. “That might be a lesson for tomorrow, buddy.”
“But—”
“She’s tired,” Iris said gently, smoothing my hair back from my face. “It’s been a long day for her.”
I tried to keep my eyes open, but they kept closing on their own. My lashes fluttered and felt too heavy to lift. I rested my head fully against Iris’s shoulder, and the room started to feel far away.
“You’ve both had a long day, too,” Gus said.
“But I wanted her to teach me more of her secret language,” Ashby said, his voice softer than before. He sounded disappointed but not angry.
“I know,” Gus replied. “She will. Tomorrow.”
“Okay,” he muttered. There was a small pause, then Ashby added, “I like her. I think I’ll be her best friend if she wants me to be.”
That was the last thing I heard before I fell asleep.
__
Thursday, April 17th
Jensen had told me the truth when she said this would be my forever home.
Iris and Gus hadn’t brought me back, not even once, and every single day for the past twenty-one days—which I learned was exactly three weeks—they showed me again and again that they wanted me here.
They didn’t say it all the time. They showed it in small ways, by asking how I was feeling, by hugging me, and no one ever told me I didn’t belong.
Most days, it was just Iris and me at home.
Gus went out to help people because he was a firefighter, and Ashby and Wesley weren’t home either because they were at school.
The house was quieter then, but I liked having Iris to myself.
She filled the quiet with soft music and her gentle voice, and every day, we did things to pass the time.
We baked, played card games, and watched movies.
Anything I felt like doing, she said yes to.
She even took me to different parks with big playgrounds, and one day, we even went to the shopping mall.
But as much as I loved spending time alone with her, I did miss Gus and the boys a lot.
I wanted to go to school too. I told Iris with my hands, and she smiled and said I would, but not yet.
I had to wait until summer was over. The thought made my chest flutter in two different ways.
I felt excited, because school was where I’d learn a lot.
But I also felt nervous, because school meant even more children.
Lots of them. And I wasn’t sure I would like them.
I liked Ashby and Wesley, and they weren’t like the kids from before.
They were kind, and they were never mean.
They talked to me and played with me, but I never got much time with them. Not as much time as I got with Iris.
She told me summer break would come soon for the boys.
A few more weeks, and then I’d get to spend every day with them.
At that time, I only got to play with Ashby and Wesley in the evenings and on weekends.
And sometimes not even then. Wesley had ice hockey every Saturday, and Ashby sometimes went to the aquatic center.
He was a swimmer, Iris explained, and she said he was very good for his age.
I wondered what it looked like when he swam.
I wondered if I’d get to see it one day, and maybe even swim with him.
Today, I waited for them to come home, watching the clock closely.
When the front door finally opened, Ashby immediately took off his shoes and jacket, keeping his baseball cap on his head like he always did, before he grabbed my hand.
He pulled me upstairs to his room, talking fast about what he wanted to play.
He dragged out his box of superheroes and dumped them onto the floor. He loved them. He loved talking about them and making them do the silliest things. I liked them too, especially because he sometimes let me play with his favorite one. Hulk.
Ashby lined all the action figures up along the edge of his desk, explaining everything while I sat and watched.
“They all have to jump to survive,” he said seriously. “The bad guys put explosives up here, and if they don’t jump, they’ll all die.”
My eyes widened, and I tapped his shoulder until he looked at me. When he did, I lifted my hands and signed carefully. [That’s dangerous.]
He watched my hands closely, his forehead wrinkling as he tried to follow along. After a moment, his face cleared, and he nodded. “Yeah. It is dangerous.” Then he smiled, like he knew something I didn’t. “But they’re superheroes, remember?”
He turned back to the desk and placed the last four action figures right at the edge, lining them up perfectly. “They won’t get hurt,” he said with confidence. “They never do.”
I scrunched my nose and stared at them. They were only toys. I knew that. But they were Ashby’s favorites, and they meant a lot to him. So they meant a lot to me, too, and I didn’t want them to get hurt.
Before I could figure out how to contain my overwhelming feelings, Ashby suddenly made a loud explosion sound with his mouth and swung his arm across the desk.
All the action figures toppled over at once, tumbling down onto the carpet.
I clapped my hand over my mouth, my eyes going wide. Ashby burst out laughing and made even bigger, louder sounds, with his arms flying through the air. Then he dropped down onto his knees and began setting the action figures upright again, one by one.
“They landed safely,” he said in a very serious voice, holding Hulk up in front of me. “See? They’re all fine.”
I watched the superheroes stand there, but I wasn’t fully convinced. When Ashby looked up and noticed the worry still on my face, his smile softened. He reached out and placed his hand on my shoulder.
“Don’t worry about them, Milow,” he said gently. “They’re all okay.”
His hair stuck out in every direction from under his backward hat, and it made him look silly.
“They’re strong,” he added with a nod, tapping Hulk’s chest. “And superheroes always take care of each other. Just like we take care of each other in this family. That means I’ll protect you. And Wesley, too. And Mom and Dad.”
We might have been just kids, but those words seemed big and important. Like something I should remember. I nodded slowly, letting his words sink in as he turned back to his toys, talking them through their next stunt.
I kept watching him. He was having so much fun, and I liked that he wanted me there. He wasn’t forcing me to play with him. Instead, he just let me watch.