Chapter 13 #2
He tugged her closer, and when she didn’t resist, he pulled her into his arms. Scottie let out a breath and leaned into him, her forehead pressing against his chest as her arms slid around his back. He leaned down and buried his face in her dark blonde hair, breathing her in deeply.
I watched them and smiled. This was how they always found their way back to each other. There was a long history between them. One that would take way too long to tell. But I was hopeful that, as they got older, the thing growing between them would become clearer.
Ashby’s shoulders finally eased beside me, and he turned toward me with a smile. “Do you want something to drink?”
I nodded and let my gaze wander around the kitchen. Bottles crowded the counters and the table. There were cups everywhere. I scrunched my nose and looked back at Ashby. He was scanning the room too, his expression tightening. “What were you planning, Scott? Giving everyone alcohol poisoning?”
Scottie turned her head toward him, her arms still wrapped around Stan as she sighed. “Mom only bought maybe a third of that,” she said. “Other people brought the rest.”
Scottie was seventeen, but her mom bought the alcohol for her. I knew it was because she trusted her. I knew Scottie wouldn’t drink a lot, but you couldn’t have a house party without alcohol, right?
“I put Pepsi in the fridge for you, Milow,” Scottie added, looking at me.
That was thoughtful of her. [Thank you.]
“Of course.” She smiled softly and finally loosened her hold on Stan, who looked more than satisfied that they made up. “There’s finger food over on the table, but if you want something else, just check the fridge.”
“Are you hungry?” Ashby asked me, and I shrugged.
[No. I would like something to drink, though.]
He nodded. “I’ll get you something.”
He went to the fridge, and Stan followed him like a little puppy, talking about whatever was on his mind again. When they came back, he pressed a cold can of Pepsi into my hand.
[Thank you.]
He smiled, the corner of his mouth lifting. “I won’t be far,” he told me, then he went to stand next to Stan and a group of guys I recognized. They were all seniors, and they often sat with us at lunch.
I turned toward Scottie and nudged her arm as I popped the tab. She sighed heavily and leaned into me, resting her head on my shoulder for a moment.
“I’m sorry you always have to see us fight,” she said quietly.
I took a sip, then shook my head as I set the can down behind me. [It doesn’t bother me. I don’t like seeing you hurt.]
Her jaw tightened. She looked away from me, her eyes drifting across the kitchen until they landed on Stan. He was laughing now, gesturing wildly as he talked, completely unaware of the way she was looking at him. Or maybe he was aware and didn’t know what to do with it either.
“That’s the thing,” she whispered. “He hurts me without even trying. And somehow, he’s also the only one who makes me feel so...” Her hand lifted and pressed against her chest. “Good. And seen.”
I kept my hands at my sides.
“I have all these intense feelings for him. Good and bad ones,” she said, the words rushing out like she was afraid they’d get stuck if she slowed down.
“I don’t even want to pretend I don’t feel this way.
And I hate it, because he’s the same person who can make me furious in five seconds flat.
” Her eyes stayed on him. “How can one person do both?”
My chest ached for her. Those were complex feelings, and I wished I could help her figure them out. But I struggled with the simplest feelings myself. Still, I tried to give the best advice I could.
[I think… you know he matters to you more than others,] I signed when she looked at me. [He’s always been around, and you two have always had a special connection.]
She swallowed hard. “That’s what scares me.”
[I know,] I replied. [Having someone this close gives them the power to hurt you. But it also means what you feel is real. And I don’t think that should be ignored.]
Scottie blinked. “You always make things sound so simple.”
[I don’t think it’s simple,] I signed. [I think you’re just brave enough to feel it instead of running from it.]
She let out a shaky breath. “God. You’re just too wise for your own good.”
I shrugged, feeling a little embarrassed. I reached for my drink again. I didn’t think I was wise. I just felt things deeply, loved without restraint, and retreated into my mind when my emotions grew too loud. Thinking always felt safer than feeling when everything threatened to spill over.
Across the room, Ashby’s eyes met mine. He was half-turned toward Stan, but his attention was fully on me. I smiled to let him know I was okay, and his shoulders eased, just a fraction, before he turned back to the conversation.
Scottie followed my gaze and smiled softly. “He really looks out for you.”
[He always has.]
Her eyes drifted back to Stan once more, softer now. “I wish loving someone didn’t feel like standing in the middle of a storm.”
It wasn’t the first time she used the word love when talking about Stan. It wasn’t surprising to me. Not when it came to the two of them. They had tried to push each other away since childhood, but something stronger always pulled them back.
I waited for Scottie to look at me again before I signed. [I think the right people are worth standing in the storm for.]
Scottie nodded slowly. Across the kitchen, Stan laughed loudly and from the heart, and out of the corner of my eye, I saw Scottie grin.
“He’s such an idiot.”
I agreed. But he was her idiot.