Chapter 19
Milow
Scottie was waiting for me at my locker, and the second I reached her, I could tell her mood had dropped even more since this morning.
Still, when she saw me, she smiled and slipped into that cheerful expression she always used.
She did it without thinking. I never blamed her for it.
I just wished that she didn’t feel like she had to hide how she was really feeling around me.
“Hey. So, I was thinking,” she said, a little too upbeat. “We could go to the mall after school. I need some new clothes, and we could stop by the bookstore and grab coffee. What do you think?”
I opened my locker and slid my books inside, then turned back to her and signed, [I’ll have to ask Mom, but I’m pretty sure she’ll say yes.]
“Perfect.” She smiled, then tilted her head. “How was your morning?”
As we started walking toward the lunchroom, she automatically took my lunch from my hands so I could sign more easily. She was always like that. Always making small things easier for me without making a big deal of it.
[Good,] I signed. [I’m really liking the harder material. Junior year is going to be fun.]
She laughed softly. “You’re literally the only person I know who enjoys school this much. I’m happy to inform you that senior year is even worse, so you can look forward to that.”
[I’ve been looking forward to that since I was six,] I signed back, grinning. Although, once I was a senior, none of my friends would be at this school anymore. I looked at her more closely. [How are you?]
She shrugged, but her face tightened instead of relaxing. I’d asked her that question plenty of times before, and I already knew the answer I usually got wasn’t the full truth. I asked anyway, even though I didn’t expect much.
“I just want to go one day without feeling so annoyed.”
[What’s annoying you?]
We stopped in front of the large doors to the lunchroom. If this was about Stan, I knew she wouldn’t want to talk about it once we were inside.
“Just… some stupid thing that shouldn’t annoy me,” she said, furrowing her brows before sighing.
[What happened?]
“He picked me up, and I thought we’d drive to school alone. But Ava was in the car with him.”
I knew Ava. She was in some of Ashby’s classes and had always been kind.
She’d never given me a reason to dislike her.
Ava was stunning. Not that Scottie wasn’t.
Still, Ava was tall, with beautiful brown curls and an effortless, movie-star kind of beauty that drew attention without trying.
On top of that, she was genuinely nice. I could understand why seeing her in Stan’s car had hurt.
“And I know I shouldn’t be jealous,” Scottie continued, her voice quieter now. “But she’s perfect. Every guy at this school would give anything to date her.”
Any guy?
Even Ashby?
The thought came uninvited, and I pushed it away just as quickly. It was pointless and inappropriate. There were rules. And even though Ashby and I had already crossed a line in small ways, I couldn’t let my mind go there now.
[They’re just friends,] I signed. [You know Stan has always had a crush on you.]
“Yeah,” she said, her shoulders slumping, “but I keep giving him reasons not to anymore. I must be exhausting. It feels like I am.”
[You’re not exhausting, Scottie. And Stan isn’t exactly perfect, either,] I signed. [He likes getting a reaction out of you. You know that. He just doesn’t know how to show affection without being annoying.]
My words might have been harsh. I liked Stan, but it had always been like that. Even when they were kids, they’d teased and poked at each other constantly. Anyone who paid attention could tell it came from feelings neither of them wanted to admit out loud.
Scottie sighed and scrunched her nose. “Yeah. I know. Still… seeing them together like that hurt.”
I understood. I reached out, squeezed her arm, and gave her an encouraging smile. [Trust me. Stanley only has eyes for you. He always has. And he always will.]
“Yeah…” She smiled, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. “You’re the best, Milow. You always know how to cheer me up.”
That was what friends were for. I slipped my arm through hers and walked into the lunchroom with her, trying to ignore all the loud voices of the other students as I scanned the room for the boys.
They were at our usual table, the one near the windows.
As soon as we got closer, Ashby looked up.
His face softened instantly, and he pushed a chair back for me without even thinking about it.
“Hey,” he said quietly as I sat down beside him.
Scottie took the seat on my other side, directly across from Stan.
He was already watching her, his posture stiff, like he wanted to say something but didn’t trust himself to get it right.
They still hadn’t spoken. They just looked at each other.
As tense as it was, I figured that silence was better than words they couldn’t take back.
I turned toward Ashby and smiled. [Hi.]
“What did you bring for lunch?” he asked, leaning a little closer so he could see what I was unpacking.
I pulled out the turkey sandwich I’d made that morning and set it on the table, then opened my container with veggie sticks and sour cream dip. I glanced at him again.
[We can share this,] I signed, nudging the container closer to him.
His smile widened. He only brought a sandwich himself, and I knew that wouldn’t keep him full until after school. “That’s sweet. Thank you, Milow.”
I smiled back and started eating, feeling that quiet comfort settle in my chest whenever I was surrounded by the people I trusted. Around us, the table slowly filled as Jasper and Bennett joined, the conversation slowly picking up, and I just listened.
Once I finished my sandwich, I started snacking on the veggie sticks, my eyes drifting back to Ashby again and again without me really meaning to.
He was fully pulled into the conversation now.
They were talking about sports and then different video games, and just as Stan tossed another question into the mix, a girl stepped up to our table.
I couldn’t remember her name, but I knew she was a senior.
The table went quiet instantly. She didn’t seem bothered by the attention at all. She smiled straight at Jasper.
“Hi, Jasper,” she said.
He turned toward her, and the smile on his face made it obvious he was glad to see her. “Hey, Lacey. What’s up?”
“I was just wondering if you want to go out with me tomorrow night,” she said. “Maybe we could go watch a movie.”
That caught all of us off guard. Lacey didn’t hesitate, didn’t seem nervous asking him out in front of everyone. There was confidence in her voice, and it sent a strange shiver through me. I wished I had that kind of confidence.
We all waited, watching Jasper closely.
“Yeah,” he said after a second, smiling wider. “Sure. Sounds great.”
“Cool,” Lacey replied, her smile softening. “I’ll text you.”
“Yeah. Great.”
“Okay. Bye, guys.”
She walked away, and Jasper turned back toward us, clearly pleased with himself.
“Well, shit…” Bennett said. “How long has that been going on?”
Jasper shrugged. “We talked at Scottie’s party and exchanged numbers.”
“She’s nice,” Bennett said.
“Yeah,” Jasper agreed. “She is.”
At the end of the table, Stan let out a sharp huff, crushing a napkin in his fist. “Could be that easy.”
Oh no.
I looked at Scottie just in time to see her expression shift.
“Shit,” Ashby muttered beside me, already knowing where this was headed.
Scottie’s shoulders tightened. She stood up fast, her hands hitting the table harder than necessary. Her eyes were sharp, and I was instantly glad I wasn’t Stan. He’d only said four words, and they could’ve meant different things, but none of us doubted what he’d meant.
“And why on earth do you expect me to be the one to ask you out?” she said. She didn’t wait for an answer. Before Stan could even open his mouth, she was already walking away.
“Man…” Jasper said, shaking his head.
“You really need to keep some thoughts inside your head,” Bennett added.
“I swear to God…” Stan groaned, dropping his face into his hands. “She would’ve read my mind anyway.”
I bit the inside of my cheek, wanting to tell him that things would be okay, but this wasn’t my place. This was something the boys had to handle.
Ashby leaned forward and reached across the table, patting Stan’s shoulder. “Go talk to her.”
“What the hell am I supposed to say?” Stan shot back, looking at Ashby with wide, stressed eyes. “Everything I say gets me in trouble. I can’t do anything right with her.”
“Yeah, you can,” Ashby said. “You just have to count to ten before you speak.”
“Maybe twenty,” Jasper added.
Bennett grimaced. “Thirty. But Ashby’s right. You need to use your brain sometimes.”
Stan shook his head and ran both hands through his pitch-black hair, clearly overwhelmed.
He stayed quiet for once, and no one else filled the silence.
I looked at Ashby and pressed my lips together.
He gave me a tight, reassuring smile. He was worried too, but didn’t want to make it worse.
We all knew this wasn’t over, but we also knew they’d find their way back to each other. It just wouldn’t be easy.
After a moment, Stan stood up and grabbed his backpack. “Wish me luck,” he said.
Before he could leave, I reached across the table and picked up the uneaten chocolate bar Scottie had left behind. I held it out to him.
“Stan,” Ashby said, stopping him.
Stan looked at Ashby, then down at the chocolate bar. He sighed and took it. “Not sure this will help, but… thanks.”
I shook my head slightly and lifted my hands so he’d look at me. He did, with his expression tired and unsure.
[Don’t try to be funny,] I signed slowly, making sure he followed every word. [Just be honest. Tell her how you feel, even if it comes out messy.]
He swallowed and nodded once.
[And listen to her,] I added. [Don’t interrupt even if it hurts. She needs to feel heard.]
Stan let out a quiet breath and gave me a genuine smile. “You’re way too smart for all of us,” he said.
“What did she sign?” Bennett asked. “I want to know.”
“Not now,” Jasper muttered.
I looked at Stan again. [I know. Now go.]
He nodded, adjusted his backpack, and finally walked off after her, the chocolate bar clutched tightly in his hand. Chocolate usually made me happy, so I didn’t see a reason why it wouldn’t help.
“They’re like an old married couple,” Bennett said, sounding more amused than concerned.
“Yeah,” Jasper agreed. “They’ll figure it out.”
I knew they would. They just needed time, and maybe a really long and honest talk.
Ashby pushed his chair back and stood up, slinging his backpack over one shoulder. “Come on,” he said, looking at me. “I’ll walk you to class.”
I gathered my things and stood too, giving the boys a quick wave before following Ashby out into the hallway.
The lunchroom noise faded behind us as we walked side by side.
We were close but not touching, but the urge was too intense to ignore.
The halls were starting to crowd again, with students moving in every direction, and lockers slamming.
“I kind of wish I didn’t have class right now,” Ashby said after a moment. He glanced at me, then looked forward again. “We could go to the library instead. Sit there for a bit. I don’t really feel like paying attention.”
I smiled, already knowing what he was doing. He was avoiding responsibility and avoiding everything that wasn’t me. It was sweet, in a way, but I couldn’t let him lose his focus.
I lifted my hands. [You can’t skip.]
He groaned quietly. “I know. But the library’s quiet. And we could hang out.”
I scrunched my nose. [We can hang out after school. And you care about your grades. Don’t pretend you don’t.]
He huffed. “You’re right. Sometimes, though, it’s okay to skip a class.”
[It’s not, but nice try.] I smiled and kept walking, matching his pace. [You’d be mad at yourself if you skipped. And your coach would kill you if it affected your eligibility.]
“That’s a good point,” he admitted. “A terrifying one.”
We stopped outside my classroom. Ashby shifted his weight, clearly not wanting to leave yet.
“I’ll see you after,” he said.
[Maybe. Scottie wants to go clothes shopping.]
“Oh.”
I smiled tightly. [I haven’t asked Mom yet.]
“She’ll probably say it’s fine.” He didn’t look happy, but he wasn’t going to stop me from hanging out with Scottie. “Okay, then… I’ll see you tonight.”
I nodded, and he hesitated. “Okay. I’ll go.”
[Okay.]
I felt his eyes on me as I went to my desk, and when I was seated, I looked over to where he still stood just outside the door. He waved before he left, and all of a sudden, I wished I had said yes to skipping class.