Chapter 22 #2
I pinched at the loose skin on the inside of my left thumb and pulled until a small piece came away.
Then I did it again, lower down where the skin was already red, where there was another thin flap I kept worrying at until a sharp sting finally made me freeze.
A tiny drop of blood surfaced, and I clicked my tongue quietly, annoyed with myself for letting it go that far.
I should have stopped sooner. I always should have.
But sometimes I couldn’t stop until it hurt, like the pain was the only thing strong enough to break the cycle. Only momentarily.
I pushed my chair back and got up from my desk, then walked out of my bedroom and into the bathroom.
I opened the cupboard and started digging through my things, looking for a bandage.
The pack I found was empty, but I knew I had another one somewhere.
I always did. I went through bandages too often not to.
“What are you looking for?”
I turned my head and saw Ashby standing in the doorway, his swim cap and goggles looped together in one hand.
[A bandage,] I signed, then held up the empty box so he could see.
“I think I have some.”
He turned around and headed back to his room, and I followed him down the hall but stopped at the doorway instead of going all the way in.
He set his cap and goggles on the bed, then bent over his backpack and dug through it before pulling out two loose bandages. “Here,” he said, handing them to me.
[Thank you,] I signed, smiling at him.
He didn’t look away. His gaze stayed on me, trying to figure out what I needed the bandage for.
He probably already knew, or at least suspected it, and that made me instinctively curl my hand inward, trying to hide my thumb.
The movement sent another sharp sting through it, and that was enough to convince me I shouldn’t wait any longer to cover it up.
I turned and went back into the bathroom, rinsed the small wound, and carefully wrapped one of the bandages around it. As I did, I could feel that familiar presence again, knowing I was being watched even without turning around.
“What happened?” Ashby asked from behind me, worry clear in his voice.
I turned to face him and gave a tight smile. [Nothing.]
“You picked your skin again,” he said. He wasn’t accusing me, just stating it as fact. His eyes flicked down to my thumb for a brief moment before coming back to my face.
[Yes, but it was nothing. I just got distracted for a moment,] I signed.
He kept studying me with that quiet concern in his eyes that made it obvious he was trying to read more into it. He wanted to know whether it was because I felt anxious. I could see it in his expression. He was looking out for me like he always did.
[I’m fine. I promise,] I added.
He held my gaze for another second, then gave a short nod. “Okay.”
[Are you going to practice?] I asked next, glancing at the swim cap and goggles he was holding again.
“Uh, yeah. I wasn’t planning on it at first, but Ruben texted and said the pool’s closed to non-club members today. Since it’s usually packed on weekends, I figured I’d take advantage of it.”
[That’s nice.]
“You want to come?” he asked. “You could swim too, or you could just hang out in the café and watch.”
I used to go with him more often when we were younger, back when Mom or Dad took him to the aquatic center for practice.
While he swam, we’d sit in the café on the upper floor, the one with the floor-to-ceiling windows that overlooked the entire pool.
They had a vending machine with the best hot chocolate there, and just thinking about it made the decision easy.
[Okay,] I signed without hesitation.
His expression shifted into a smirk. “Perfect. I need to finish packing, and then we can go. Are you ready?” he asked, his eyes briefly scanning what I was wearing.
I glanced down at my loungewear and decided it was comfortable enough for sitting around and watching, so I nodded.
“Great. Give me fifteen minutes.” He turned and disappeared back into his room, and I went to grab my new book so I could bring it with me.
On the drive to the Dunst Aquatic Center, which was only a few minutes from our house, I kept my eyes fixed on the road ahead.
Even though we had been close our entire lives, sitting alone with him in the car suddenly felt different.
The radio was on, but it wasn’t loud enough to drown out the nervous thoughts crowding my head.
I wanted to start a conversation just to kill this silence, but he was driving, and he couldn’t watch me sign while keeping his eyes on the road.
So instead, like that made more sense, I turned my head and looked at him.
Ashby was focused, his hands tight on the wheel, and his attention fully on the drive.
I could already tell he had shifted into practice mode.
Swimming did that to him. He cared about it deeply.
That sport went beyond routine or obligation, and I had always admired him for that.
Not many people had something they felt that strongly about.
I liked to think I was passionate about school, but it wasn’t the same.
School was practical and necessary, and, truthfully, the only thing I was good at.
It would eventually help me get somewhere, once I figured out what I actually wanted to do with my future.
Swimming was different for him. It was something he chose, something he poured himself into, and watching that focus settle over him every time made me feel proud of him.
The corner of his mouth lifted, but his eyes stayed on the road. “What?” he asked. “Do I have something on my face?”
Handsomeness. That’s what he had on his face.
I pressed my lips together and lowered my gaze to my hands resting in my lap as warmth crept into my cheeks.
Ashby chuckled softly and reached over, brushing his fingers against mine before letting his hand settle there.
He didn’t need to say anything. He was relaxed, and that ease carried over to me.
When we arrived at the aquatic center, we went inside and found Ruben already waiting near the entrance. He pulled Ashby into a quick hug, then turned to me with an easy smile. “Hey, kiddo. You here to swim too?”
I smiled back and shook my head.
“She’s just watching,” Ashby said, shifting the strap of his sports bag higher on his shoulder.
“Good, good.” Ruben nodded toward the stairs leading down to the changing rooms. “Jasper’s here too.”
“Great, thanks.” Ashby looked back at me and smiled. “Go ahead. I’ll come up later so we can eat something.”
I nodded. [Have a good practice.]
“Thanks.”
I waved before heading up the stairs toward the café.
The upper level was empty, and while it was usually staffed, the people who worked there weren’t around.
There was no reason for them to be when only club members were allowed in today.
Along the back wall, vending machines lined up, offering hot drinks, snacks, and sandwiches.
I bought myself a hot chocolate and sat at a table by the window.
The pool area below was empty. The water was smooth and undisturbed, and the entire center was quiet, with only the faint radio music playing from the speakers.
I pulled my book from my tote bag and set it on the table, then leaned forward to look down at the pool deck.
Ruben appeared first, slipping his stopwatch around his neck and tucking his clipboard under his arm.
A moment later, Ashby came out with Jasper beside him.
Jasper’s dirty blond hair was already hidden under his cap.
Ashby turned around, scanning the upper level until he spotted me.
He waved before pulling his own cap into place.
I waved back. Jasper followed Ashby’s gaze and looked up at me, too, lifting his hand with a friendly smile. Then he pointed at Ashby and grinned, keeping his eyes on me as he mouthed, “He’s going down.”
I scrunched my nose and watched them bump shoulders and laugh as they walked toward the pool.
That was another thing I admired about Ashby.
He built friendships that were destined to last forever, and I felt immense gratitude not only for watching those friendships grow, but also for Ashby allowing me to see them as my friends, too.