Chapter 41
Milow
Ashby didn’t go to the pool this morning.
Instead, we picked up Stanley at his house, then drove to Scottie’s.
Scarlett had decided to keep her home for another day or two, just to be sure she was actually feeling better before sending her back to school.
It felt like the right call. The doctors had let her go too soon, at least in my opinion, and I hadn’t liked it at all.
But I trusted Scarlett because she always took care of her daughter the way she should.
When we walked inside, Scottie was curled up on the couch with a blanket pulled around her shoulders. She looked up when she heard us and smiled, and I went to her right away, even before Stan did. I had been worried nonstop, and seeing her like this made my chest squeeze all over again.
“Hey,” Scottie whispered as I leaned in to hug her. “I’m okay.” Her voice sounded light, as if she truly were all right.
I held her a second longer before sitting beside her. [I’m glad you’re doing better.]
“Me too,” she said with a soft smile. “They pumped me full of strong meds, and look at me now. Good as new.”
“You still fainted,” Stan said. He didn’t look convinced. Not even a little.
“So? It’s not like I died.”
“You’re still treating this like it’s funny.”
“It’s not funny,” she said. Her expression hardened for a brief second, then it softened, and she reached for him. “Come here. I want to kiss my boyfriend.”
Stan hesitated before taking her hand. He sat beside her and leaned in to kiss her. When he pulled back, his tone stayed serious. “I don’t think this was random. And it definitely wasn’t a circulatory collapse. You’re physically fit. You’re healthy.”
“It could happen to anyone, Stanley,” she said calmly, keeping his hand in hers. “I’m fine. The tests will prove it.”
I wanted to believe her. Still, something twisted deep in my stomach. It was a feeling I couldn’t shake. Something was wrong, but I couldn’t prove it.
“Just rest another day or two,” Ashby said gently. “There’s no rush. You’ll be back on the field scoring hat tricks in no time.”
Scottie looked at him with a tight and hopeful smile. “I can’t wait.”
Scarlett came back in with a steaming cup and set it on the coffee table. Then she looked at Scottie. “I’m cutting up fruit. And I put toast in the toaster. Are you hungry yet?”
“I am. Thanks, Mom.”
Scarlett looked at the rest of us then. “Thank you for coming by. You’re the sweetest. But it’s time to go. You’ll be late for school.”
I nodded and gently rubbed Scottie’s arm before I stood, stepping closer to Ashby as his hand settled at my lower back.
Stan didn’t move. He stayed glued to Scottie’s side, still holding her hand. Then he grimaced and clutched his stomach with a groan. “I don’t feel so good, Scar. Maybe I should stay here so you can take care of me, too.”
Scarlett rolled her eyes, laughing softly. “Nice try. Come on. School’s waiting.”
“But my stomach hurts,” he whined, standing up reluctantly.
“Then maybe stop stuffing your face with donuts before sunrise,” Ashby said, grinning.
“That’s not my fault,” Stan shot back. “My mom buys them and then guilt-trips me into eating them before they go stale.” He turned to Scarlett, pulling out his most pitiful look. “Please, Scar? I’d really love some freshly cut up fruit, too.”
She shook her head. “You need to go. Chelsea won’t be happy if you skip.”
“Mom won’t care,” he said. “She’d rather see me taking care of my girl than zoning out in class.”
I pressed my lips together. He wasn’t wrong, but he still had to go. I tapped his arm to get his attention. [Scottie needs rest. We can come back after school.]
He frowned, then sighed. “Fine.” He looked back at Scottie. “I’ll come straight here after.”
She smiled. “I’ll be right here. Waiting.”
“Good. I love you.”
“I love you too, Stanley.”
I loved them. Both of them. And I loved them together.
[Bye, Scottie. See you later,] I signed.
After one last round of goodbyes, we headed out and climbed into the car, where we had to listen to Stan whine throughout the drive about how he hated school and how he’d rather be at Scottie’s side, guarding her from fainting again.
I couldn’t argue with that. I’d rather be close to my best friend, too, in a time like this. And for reasons I couldn’t explain, the heavy feeling in my chest only grew the closer we got to the school, like my gut was trying to warn me, telling me I shouldn’t be there at all.
When the lunch bell rang, I went straight to my locker. I needed to put my books away, grab my lunch, and then wait for Ashby and Stan. I stood there for a few minutes, checking the hallway every so often, but they didn’t show. After five minutes, I pulled out my phone to text Ashby.
Unlocking it, I saw he had already sent me a message.
Ashby
On our way. Teacher held us back.
I didn’t want them to rush on my account, so I answered quickly.
Me
I’ll head to the cafeteria. Meet me there.
I slipped my phone into the pocket of my hoodie, closed my locker, and started down the hallway.
Only a few students were standing around the hallway, with the noise from before mostly gone.
Then I turned the corner and saw Hailie and Aspen standing there.
Bennett was with them, which caught me off guard.
All three looked irritated, as if my presence alone had ruined their day.
I stopped. My throat tightened as I tried to decide what to do. I could turn around and text Ashby to meet me back at my locker. I could wait there. Or, I could stand my ground. The decision hadn’t been simple, even though it should have been.
I wanted to leave. I always wanted to leave when I found myself alone with them. But my feet wouldn’t move.
“God, just looking at her makes me want to vomit,” Hailie said. “Do you own anything that doesn’t make you look poor? Or is this really the best you can do?”
I frowned. That was it. That was the insult. I looked poor.
My clothes were clean. They fit, and there was nothing wrong with them.
“And she’s still not talking,” Aspen added, louder than necessary. She glanced at Bennett when she said it. She was meaner than usual, and she was clearly looking for his approval. “It’s so weird.”
“Yeah, and it’s disrespectful,” Hailie said, crossing her arms and shifting her weight to one hip. “Our beating clearly didn’t help.”
The word made my stomach drop. I felt the pain all over again. I looked down at my hands and started picking at the loose skin by my thumb, the habit soothing and useless at the same time.
“Beating?” Bennett asked quietly. “You hit her?”
He sounded concerned, but was he really? I didn’t look at him to check. He hadn’t been kind to me lately, and I didn’t want his attention now. I just wanted Ashby. I wanted Stan. I wanted this hallway to stop feeling so small, and for my lungs to work normally.
Hailie clicked her tongue. “We had to. She was being rude.”
“How was she being rude?” Bennett asked. He sounded genuinely concerned now, and I couldn’t help it. I needed to see his face.
I lifted my gaze to him. He was frowning, his attention fully on me this time.
“I mean,” he continued, “did she talk back to you or something?”
I bit the inside of my cheek, hugging my lunchbox to my stomach. He still thought I had selective mutism, that I would eventually start talking once I got over it.
He didn’t know. None of them did. But I had a feeling that even if they knew the truth, they’d still treat me like this.
After what happened at the diner, I replayed Bennett’s behavior over and over in my head.
People’s behavior didn’t just change without a reason.
Something in his life must’ve pushed him far enough to become someone he wasn’t.
The same must’ve been the case for Hailie and Aspen.
That kind of anger must have had a source. It didn’t come out of nowhere.
“No, she didn’t say a damn word. Just kept her stupid mouth shut and—” Hailie stopped short, because there was nothing else to add. I hadn’t done anything to them in the bathroom. Not a single thing. They had gone after me out of boredom.
My jaw locked. I needed to move. I needed my body to listen to me and get away from them.
“I hate her face,” Hailie continued. “She thinks she’s something special by acting like a disabled person. But she’s worthless. And she’s a liar.”
My brows pulled together. I usually didn’t let her words get to me, but that one landed differently. Maybe because, for once, she had said something true. I was disabled. And for a split second, the thought crept in that maybe that really did make me worthless.
Aspen laughed and crossed her arms, copying Hailie’s stance. “Or maybe she actually is disabled. Wouldn’t surprise me. Maybe that’s the reason why she hangs out with that other disabled girl.”
“No,” Hailie said. “The one you’re thinking of is just severely mentally ill.”
They both laughed. I saw Bennett grinning behind them, as if this were entertaining, like he hadn’t been friends with us before.
I felt sick. How was he not stopping this? He had always been kind to me. At least he used to be. And I didn’t understand why he was even standing with them. Didn’t he have limits? Didn’t he care and see how hurtful they were being?
Anger rose inside of me, and my whole body burned with overwhelming emotions. I hated the way they spoke about Scottie.
“I heard she fainted at her soccer game,” Hailie said. “Such a loser. Maybe she should stop popping pills.”
That was it.
I wanted to tell them exactly how I felt. I wanted to unload every thought in my head. But no amount of signing would make them understand, and they didn’t deserve my explanations anyway. So I chose to do the one thing I knew they would understand without question.
I tucked my lunchbox under one arm and flipped them off.
With both hands.