16. Lilian
Chapter 16
Lilian
No nightmares. No monsters scratching at the back of my mind. No Voices. No blood.
I lay in bed, still enveloped in the peaceful haze of a restful night’s sleep.
It’s just silence.
I reach for my phone on the bedside table, the girly grin returning.
Sebastian: Good morning, princess.
Lil: Good morning.
Sebastian: Cutting it pretty close this morning, aren’t you?
Sebastian: Did you intentionally skip your first class?
I glance at the time, and my eyes widen in panic. 9:32 am.
Lil: Running late. Missed my alarm.
Sebastian: You better not miss my game tonight.
Lil: I won’t .
How did I let that happen? In a mad scramble, I throw off the covers and dash to my closet, selecting a skirt and blouse. I slip them on quickly, not bothering to straighten out every crease. A tinge of excitement flutters in my chest as I apply lip gloss. Would he like it?
Every day after his training, he shows up in the library like clockwork, a charming grin on his face and a bag of takeout in hand. Last night, he brought spaghetti. It was delicious.
It’s become our little ritual.
Mrs. Hofstatt, who once scolded us for eating, now turns a blind eye. Maybe she’s taken pity on me. Or maybe Sebastian’s charm has worked its magic on her, too. It wouldn’t surprise me.
Each night, he walks me back to my room, his hand firmly clasped in mine. The goodnight kisses are my favorite part. They start off gentle, almost chaste, but quickly evolve into something more passionate, more desperate. But it never goes beyond that.
I find myself craving his touch, his presence, more and more each day.
With one final glance in the mirror, I snatch my bag and race out the door. Hopefully, the professor won’t notice. Please.
Ju sits at our kitchen table, chatting animatedly on the phone and waving as I rush by.
Another message pops up on my phone. The group chat with Gemma and Mary .
Gemma: Everything fine? Where are you guys? Class started thirty minutes ago. Overslept?
Lil: Running late. Be there soon.
Since Gemma found me in the closet, we have become closer. I met with her and Mary at the cafe and even found out that we have some classes together.
I arrive at the lecture hall breathlessly, scanning the room for Gemma. The professor is already deep into his monologue about… something. When I spot her, she waves me over to the empty seat beside her.
“Thanks.” I sit down.
“Don’t worry about it. Mary is still missing.” She pushes her notes toward me. “Didn’t get much sleep yesterday?”
“Actually, the opposite. I think that’s the first time I overslept.”
“The first time? Was there a certain someone who helped you sleep better?”
I fumble with my pen.
“Wait. I’m right, aren’t I?” She regards me fully. “Details. Now.”
“There’s nothing to tell. We just talked.”
“Just talked.” Gemma makes air quotes with her fingers.
I sink further into my seat. “Yes.”
“Good for you.” She nudges me. “Who is he?”
“It’s pretty new.” I shouldn’t tell anybody about it since we’re not official .
When is it official? I mean, is it common sense or… How would such a conversation go?
My phone lights up with a message, and I grab it before Gemma can peek.
Sebastian: Lunch today? I want to see you before the game.
I’m already meeting Gemma and Mary for lunch. I chew my lip and glance over to her. She’s watching me with a grin.
“Well?” she says. “Aren’t you going to answer him?”
“He asked to meet for lunch.”
“Why not say yes?”
My thumbs hover over the keyboard as I debate how to respond.
“I can’t.” I set my phone face down on the desk. “We already made plans to have lunch with Mary.”
Gemma’s eyes light up. “Invite him along.”
I fiddle with the end of my ponytail. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea. Wouldn’t it be weird?”
“It’s just lunch. We won’t embarrass you too much.”
Sebastian sitting at a table with my friends? “It’s too soon.”
“Don’t leave the poor guy hanging.”
I glance back at my dark phone screen, debating.
“Don’t overthink it,” Gemma says.
Maybe she’s right. I am overthinking this. It’s not like we’re officially dating or anything, right? I don’t even know where we stand. I don’t want to mess this up before it really begins, whatever ‘this’ even is.
Gemma giggles. “You should see your face right now. ”
I force a small laugh, rubbing my neck. “Yeah, I guess I am overthinking it.”
Lil: Already have plans with friends for lunch today. You could join us if you want. Let me know.
Sebastian: Friends, huh? Jason?
Lil: No.
Sebastian: There are even more people I have to share you with?
Lil: For now. 3. 4, if we count Ju.
Sebastian: Who are the other two?
Lil: Gemma and Mary.
Sebastian: Gemma and Mary?
Lil: Yes, I just met them recently, and we’re getting along well.
Sebastian: Okay. Don’t forget the game tonight. You promised, princess.
Lil: I didn’t.
Sebastian: Let a guy hope.
“Well, isn’t this interesting,” she muses, eyes gleaming with delight. “You look like a kid in Candyland. Will he join?”
“I don’t know. It didn’t sound like it.” I put my phone back in my bag.
Gemma goes back to her scribbles of designs. It’s a long red gown.
“It’s beautiful,” I say.
She grins. “Just wait until I have my own fashion line. You’ll be my first model. ”
I laugh. “I don’t know about that.”
“Please, with your figure? The camera would love you.”
My body grows warm at the compliment.
Mary rushes in as the professor wraps up the lecture. She plops down next to Gemma, out of breath.
“Cutting it close there,” Gemma teases.
Mary rolls her eyes. “Blame my snooze button.”
I chuckle, gathering my things. “Ready for lunch?”
“Starving,” Mary says.
We head to the cafeteria, chatting and laughing.
“I’m so hungry.” Gemma pouts.
“Me too,” Mary says with an exaggerated groan. “By the way, I don’t get how you survive English Lit, Lil. I swear Professor Collins has it out for me. That’s why I studied all night.”
Gemma pats her arm. “At least it will be over soon.”
“Until next week. But at least there is this cute guy I have a good view of from my place,” Mary says.
We shuffle forward in the line, the aroma of frying oil and spices wafting around us.
“Speaking of guys,” Gemma says. “Who were those messages from?”
“No one,” I say.
“Ouch. That hurts,” Gemma says. “Here, I thought we were friends.”
Mary’s eyes light up. “ What did I miss?”
“Lil was sexting in class.” Gemma gives me a wink as she grabs a salad from the display. “I saw that look on your face. That was a ‘sexting with my crush’ look if I’ve ever seen one.”
“I did not ‘sext’ or was sexting.” I grab a sandwich, and some fruit, the cafeteria lady giving me a weird look.
Beside me, Mary snickers into her hand, linking her arm through mine before we make our way to the cashier. “You’re cute when you blush.”
We pay for our meals and head outside, finding an empty table under the shade of a sprawling tree.
“We, um, it’s not really official,” I say. “I don’t know. How do you even decide when it’s something more.”
Mary looks up. “Mhm, that’s a really good question. Do you feel comfortable around him?”
“Yes.”
“Wow. That was fast,” Gemma says.
“Is that bad?”
“No. It just shows that there is no confusion. On your side, at least,” Mary says.
“So why do you hesitate to call it something more than a hookup?” Gemma says.
“I don’t know. It’s… I mean, he brings me food and said that I’m the only one who has his attention right now.”
“That kinda sounds like a playboy, not gonna lie,” Gemma says.
“Yeah, kind of. What else did he do?” Mary nods along .
“He walks me home every time, and once I needed help, and he was right there when I called him.”
“Mh, that sounds more promising.” Gemma opens her salad.
“Did you already have sex?” Mary asks.
I almost choke on my food. Still have to get used to her directness.
“Is that a yes?” Gemma leans forward.
“No! We didn’t have… sex.” I can’t talk about what happened in the bathroom. “We haven’t, I mean, not really. We’ve kissed a few times, but that’s it.”
Mary sighs dreamily. “Kissing is nice. But girl, if he looks anything like the guys I imagine you’d be into, I say climb that like a tree!”
“Guess he isn’t a playboy. How long has this been going on?” Gemma asks.
“Two weeks. I think. Since I first met him.”
“When are you going to meet him next?” Mary asks.
“He invited me to his game.”
“Our Lil has a crush on one of our all-stars?” Mary squeaks and I glance around to check if someone is looking at us.
“Maybe.”
“Lil’s being evasive again,” Gemma stage-whispers to Mary. “We’ll get the details sooner or later.”
“Come on. You have to tell us!” Mary pouts.
“Can we please talk about something else? ”
“Fine. Let’s stop pressing her, Mar. I can just ask my brother if one of his teammates is crushing on a beautiful brunette.”
I shake my head and laugh. “Please don’t. I beg you.”
Mary giggles. “Alright, alright. We’ll let it go. For now.”
“But seriously, Lil,” Gemma says, her tone turning sincere. “If this guy makes you happy, then we’re happy for you. Just be careful, okay?”
Warmth spreads in my body. “I will. I promise.”
“So, speaking of my brother. The game is tonight if you want to come. We always go to support him, and you could cheer for your crush.”
I love that Gemma has such a good relationship with her brother. It kind of reminds me of Lan, Levi, and me.
“Who’s crush?” Jason places his tray next to me.
An awkward silence falls over the table, Gemma and Mary exchanging confused looks.
“Mine.” Mary lies.
“Mind if I join you?” he asks.
“Well, you already did,” Mary mutters.
“Of course not! I’m Gem. Nice to meet you,” Gemma says. “We were just talking about going to the game tonight. Will you be there?”
Jason nods, taking the empty seat beside me as I avoid his gaze. “I have to be there early for the prep, and then, of course, I’m on the field for the game.”
“You play?”
“Yes,” Jason says .
Gemma and Mary share a knowing look and grin at me. Oh no. Not him. Of course, they would think that it’s Jason.
“You should come,” Gemma says. “It’ll be fun, and you can cheer for Jason.”
“Lil never goes to games,” Jason says nonchalantly.
“Oh. You don’t?” Gemma asks.
“No, I don’t usually go to games,” I say. “Too loud and crowded for me.”
Gemma’s eyes sparkle. “But it’s the perfect opportunity to, you know, show some support for the team. And maybe catch someone’s eye while you’re at it.”
Jason studies me. He’s already suspicious because I’m such a bad liar. I should read some books on how to get better.
“Please?” Gemma says. “For me?”
Heat rises in my cheeks. “I’m not sure yet. I have a lot of studying I should really be doing. I’ll think about it, but thanks for the invitation.” It’s not exactly a lie, but it’s not the whole truth either.
“Okay. Let us know if you change your mind. We’ll be there. Can’t leave my brother hanging,” Gemma says.
“Your brother?” Jason asks.
“Bash. He’s the quarterback.”
Wait, what? Bash? Can it be a common nickname? A nickname for something other than Sebastian? Okay, Lil. Let’s approach this logically.
“As in, Sebastian Barron?” Jason asks tone edged.
“Yes, that’s my brother,” Gemma says .
Jason’s eyebrows shoot up, and he turns to me with a surprised look. “You’re friends with Bash’s sister?”
Oh, no. Now that I look at Gemma. They have the same shade of green eyes and sandy blonde hair. How did I miss that? How did I not know this? All the signs were there, and yet, somehow, it never occurred to me.
I shift under Jason’s glare. Okay. This is my Sebastian we’re talking about.
Gemma clears her throat. “Well, the game starts at seven. We can meet at the fountain, right next to Med.”
“Don’t pressure her.” Jason stabs at his food.
Gemma flinches. “Sorry, Lil. Didn’t mean to do that.”
“Don’t. It’s fine. I’ll think about it. Thanks for the invitation,” I say.
Jason stays silent beside me, gaze fixed on his food.
“Well, hello, baby sis.” Sebastian appears behind Gemma, a big smile on his face and eyes on me.
Fan-fucking-tastic.