18. Lilian
Chapter 18
Lilian
My back hits the cold wall as Sebastian cages me in with his arms on each side of my head. We’re in a shadowy corner, hidden from view.
“Fancy seeing you here, princess. I didn’t realize I had a personal cheerleader.”
“I—we came to congratulate you. On the win.”
“So?” He raises a brow.
“Congratulations.” I fumble with the hem of my skirt.
“Couldn’t have done it without my good luck charm. I’m glad you came to watch me.” Sebastian cups my cheek, his thumb caressing my skin.
“Well, you were on the field.” I avert my gaze.
Sebastian chuckles. “You sure seemed focused on me.”
Of course, I’d been watching him—how could I not? The way his muscles rippled under his jersey with each throw .
“You were really good out there tonight.” I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear. “I mean, I don’t understand much about football, but you seemed to be doing all the right things.”
Sebastian’s lips curve into a smirk. “Thanks, princess. I’m glad you enjoyed the show.”
I nod, my eyes darting to the bruise forming on his jaw. “Are you okay? From when Jason tackled you, I mean. It looked painful.”
“I’ve had worse.” He shrugs, his hands shifting down my arms, leaving goosebumps in their wake. “But you know, I think you could make it better.”
“Oh?” My breath hitches as he leans closer.
“Yeah. A kiss right here,” he taps his forehead, “and here,” then his cheek, “and maybe even here.” His thumb brushes over my bottom lip.
“Sebastian.” My gaze drops to his lips. It’s tempting, so tempting, to kiss him. “We can’t do this.”
“Why not? Is it because of Jason?”
“No, no. Jason and I are just friends. Like Gemma and I are friends.” I take a deep breath, steeling myself. “And that’s why I can’t mess around with you. Gemma’s my friend, and you’re her brother.”
Sebastian scoffs, running a hand through his hair. “So? What’s that got to do with us?”
“Everything! I can’t risk losing Gemma’s friendship over this, over whatever this is between us.” I gesture vaguely in the space between our bodies .
“And what exactly is this between us, Lil?” He steps closer again, his gaze intense.
I lower my head. That’s the million-dollar question, isn’t it? The one I’ve been asking myself ever since that night in his room. The electricity, the undeniable pull, the way my body reacts to his every touch—it’s unlike anything I’ve ever felt before. But is it worth jeopardizing my friendship with Gemma? My first real friend I ever had.
“I don’t know, but we can’t.”
“Can’t?” He nuzzles my neck, grazing his teeth over my sensitive skin. “Or won’t?”
He bites down, and a soft moan escapes my lips. All I can focus on is the heat radiating off his body and the scent of his cologne mixed with sweat from the game clinging to his skin.
I close my eyes, trying to steady my breathing as Sebastian’s lips trail along my neck. How does he do this to me? Make me forget everything else?
My voice comes out breathy, almost a whimper. “Sebastian…”
He hums against my throat. “Tell me you don’t want this, Lil. Tell me to stop, and I will.”
I open my mouth, but the words die on my lips. Because I do want this, want him, more than I should. More than I can allow myself to. My fingers curl into the fabric of his jersey, and his hand slips under the hem of my skirt, fingertips grazing the bare skin of my thigh. He gives me an all-consuming kiss, and I melt into him, my reservations crumbling under the onslaught. His tongue sweeps into my mouth, teasing, tasting, devouring. I meet him with equal desperation, my hips jerking involuntarily.
A distant part of my brain screams that this is a mistake, that I’m risking everything. But the pounding of my heart, the rush of blood in my ears, and the fire igniting in my veins drown it out.
Sebastian’s hand inches higher, hooking one of my legs around his waist. His other hand shifts into my hair to keep me still as he plunders my mouth. More, I need more. I rock against him, chasing the friction I so desperately crave.
“Is this what you want?” He shoves me harder against the wall, one thigh wedging between my legs. “My fingers inside you, my mouth on your pretty little pussy.”
I’m such an open book around him.
“Sebastian, please.” My protest is weakened by the arousal blossoming inside me. “Someone will see.”
“Shh.” He kisses my neck and teases my entrance through the thin fabric with his fingers. “No one’s around. Relax.”
I bite my lip hard to stifle my moans, but they escape anyway.
“Don’t bite that lip. Kiss me instead.” Sebastian’s mouth crashes back onto mine.
I’m losing myself in his touch, his kisses, the way his body presses against mine. His fingers push my underwear aside, grazing my slick folds. I whimper as he circles my clit, teasing, not quite giving me the pressure I need.
“Tell me what you want, princess.” He nips at my bottom lip. “I want to hear you say it. ”
How can he expect me to form coherent words when he’s touching me like this?
“I want…” I press my lips together, struggling to hold it together. “I… I need…”
“This?” With a low, pleased chuckle, he slides two fingers into me, the stretch and burn fading into mindless pleasure as he sets up a relentless rhythm.
My head falls back against the wall, eyes fluttering closed. With my neck exposed, he takes the chance and trails hot, open-mouthed kisses along it while he curls his fingers just right.
“Like this?” He works me higher, his thumb circling my clit as he pumps his fingers faster.
So close. I nod frantically and rock my hips, trying to take him deeper.
A voice from the crowd calls out, “Yo, where’s Bash at, man?”
“Fucking Brandon.” Sebastian’s fingers halt inside me, and I stiffen, the haze of pleasure evaporating as reality comes crashing back in.
“Sebastian, stop. Please.” I ball my fist on his chest.
“I’m sorry.” He withdraws and lifts his hand, examining his slick fingers for a long moment before sucking them into his mouth.
A fresh wave of arousal crashes over me, and my insides clench around nothing.
What did I do?
“Fuck, you’re perfect.” He growls, claiming my lips in a bruising kiss.
I can taste myself on his tongue, and it’s filthy and wrong and so incredibly hot.
He breaks the kiss to rest his forehead against mine. “You drive me crazy, you know that?”
I laugh breathlessly. “The feeling is mutual.”
“I’m sorry. I got carried away.” His eyes darken with desire, his hold on my leg tightening. “How about we continue this later in my room?”
My breath catches. His room. Alone with Sebastian. No interruptions, no prying eyes. Reality crashes back in like a bucket of ice water. I tug my skirt back down with shaky hands, avoiding his gaze.
I don’t think I’m ready for sex. And…
Gemma. Our friendship. The risk of losing her, of hurting her. What would she think? That I only became friends with her to meet her brother?
“I can’t do this. Gemma… she’s my friend. Your sister.” My eyes dart around. “This is wrong.”
Sebastian cups my face, forcing me to meet his eyes. “Is it? Because it feels pretty damn right to me.”
“But Gemma—”
“Doesn’t have to know.” His jaw clenches. “This is between us. It has nothing to do with her.”
“I can’t sneak around behind her back like this. It’s not right. ”
“So what, then? We just pretend this never happened. Act like there’s nothing between us?”
I wrap my arms around myself, cold without his warmth. “I don’t know. But I do know that I can’t risk losing Gemma. I’m sorry, Sebastian.”
His eyes darken, leaning in closer. “Is it really because of Gemma, or is it because of Jason?”
I become rigid. Is he seriously bringing up Jason right now?
“What? No, this has nothing to do with Jason.” I shake my head vehemently. “He’s just a friend.”
Sebastian scoffs. “Right. A ‘friend’ who’s always hanging around you, giving me death glares whenever I so much as look at you.”
I bristle at his tone. Where is this even coming from? “Jason is protective, sure, but that’s because he cares about me. As a friend.”
“You sure about that, princess? Because from where I’m standing, it looks like he wants a hell of a lot more than friendship.”
Is that what people think when they see me with Jason? That we’re… together?
“Well, you’re wrong.” I lift my chin, meeting his gaze head-on. “Jason and I are just friends. Period.”
Sebastian studies me, his jaw ticking.
“Time for the after-party!” Someone shouts, the rest of the team echoing the cry .
I peek around the wall of muscle in front of me. “Please let me go.”
Sebastian’s hands grip my waist, his thumbs rubbing in soothing circles. “Relax, princess. No one will see us here.”
But the fear won’t subside. What if Gemma finds out? Or worse, Jason? Guilt gnaws at my insides.
“I can’t do this. It’s not right.” I try to push him away, but he holds firm.
“Lil, look at me.” His fingers tilt my chin up, forcing my gaze to meet his intense and unwavering one. “Stop overthinking this for once in your life. Fuck. I thought we made progress, but it seems like every time we take one step, you retreat two more.”
He’s… right. I do. But…
My voice wavers. “I can’t just turn off my brain and ignore the consequences.”
He drops his hand and takes a step back. “Well, let me know when you figure it out.”
He turns to walk away, and panic seizes my chest. I reach out, snatching his jersey with my fingers. “Wait, please.”
He pauses, looking back at me over his shoulder. “What?”
“I’m sorry.” The words tumble out in a rush. “I know I’m sending mixed signals. It’s just… this is all so new and overwhelming, and I don’t know how to handle it.”
Sebastian’s expression softens and he turns fully to face me again. “Then talk to me. Help me understand what’s going on in that pretty head of yours. ”
“I’m scared. Scared of losing Gemma. Scared of what this means for us.”
“I’m scared, too, but I want you more.” He takes my hand, intertwining our fingers. “I’ll be expecting you at the party tonight. Don’t disappoint me, princess.”
With that, he releases me, leaving me cold without his touch, bereft.
Motionless, I remain slumped against the wall, stunned, confused, and wanting. I press my fingers to my lips, still tingling from Sebastian’s kisses.
I can’t believe I let that happen. Can’t believe I enjoyed it.
What if he decides one day I’m too much of a hassle and leaves?
I shake my head, trying to clear the haze and straighten my clothes with shaking hands, taking a few deep breaths to calm my racing pulse. When I emerge from the shadows, Gemma and Mary are waiting for me.
“There you are!” Gemma rushes forward, grabbing my arm. “We’ve been looking everywhere for you. Are you okay?”
I nod.
“Are you ready to head over to the party?” Mary loops her arm through Gemma’s and mine. “I’ve been looking forward to this all week.”
Me, too. But not the party. Rather, a certain unfairly attractive guy.