22. Sebastian
Chapter 2 2
Sebastian
I lay Blake down on my bed, careful not to jostle her too much. She’s really out of it. I couldn’t find Naomi anywhere, so I guess I’ll have to babysit. Fucking great.
“You gotta stop popping these pills, B. Especially in your condition.”
Blake snickers, her eyes glassy. “Aww, Bash. I could almost think you actually care.”
I sigh, running a hand through my hair. “I do care, Blake. Before all this shit, we were good friends. Remember?”
Her face softens for a moment. “I’m sorry.”
I nod.
Her words slur together. “You love her, don’t you?”
“Who?”
“That little mouse who’s always scurrying around. Lilith or whatever her name is. ”
“Lil.”
Blake lets out a harsh laugh. “Lil. She’s cute.”
I don’t respond. This side of Blake is better but creepy.
“Your secret’s safe with me.” She mimes zipping her lips. “I really am sorry. For everything. I hope you and Lil… I hope it works out.”
“It will.”
“You should go find her. Before she gets any ideas about us.”
That’s the last thing I want. Not when I’m finally making progress with her.
“You’re gone in the morning,” I say.
“You won’t even notice I was here.” She turns cuddling into the sheets.
I close the door behind me, leaving Blake to sleep it off and shoot a text to Gemma.
Sebastian: Where you at? This party’s a snooze fest without my baby sis.
Gemma: With the girls. Mary’s wasted * rolling-eyes-emoji* Typical.
I hesitate, my fingers hovering over the screen. Fuck it.
Sebastian: Lil with you?
Gemma: Yeah, why?
I can practically see Gemma’s smirk through the screen. She’s not stupid.
Sebastian: No reason.
Gemma: Uh huh. Sure * smirk-emoji*
Sebastian: So, where are you ?
Gemma: At my dorm with Mary. But Lil isn’t here. We walked her home.
Sebastian: I thought you said she’s with you.
Gemma: Yes, I did.
Would she be my little sister if she wouldn’t annoy the heck out of me sometimes?
Gemma: You better not mess this up.
Sebastian: I won’t.
Gemma: Good. Because I like Lil, and she’s become a good friend of mine.
Sebastian: Has she said anything to you about us?
Gemma: No, she hasn’t. I think she’s unsure of how to bring it up or what to say. Just like you.
Sebastian: How did you figure it out?
Gemma: Seriously? I have eyes, you know? This is the first and last time I’m giving you the Big Brother bonus. Go talk with her. I think she really cares about you.
Sebastian: Thanks, sis.
Gemma: Oh, and Lil will be joining us for the weekend, so we need a bigger car.
Sebastian: Noted.
That’s perfect. Dad is off on a business trip that weekend. That means I’ll have my little princess all to myself without having to worry.
I make my way through the crowded hallway, dodging drunk idiots left and right. Where the fuck is Connor?
Sebastian: Where u at, bro? ”
Connor: In my room. Why?
Sebastian: There’s a party going on.
Connor. And?
Typical.
I head back upstairs, taking two steps at a time. When I reach Connor’s door, I don’t bother knocking. I barge right in.
His room is a fucking mess, as usual. Clothes strewn everywhere, and empty pizza boxes piled in the corner. The only thing that has any semblance of order is his desk, with his multiple computer screens and whatever all these neatly arranged things are.
He spins around in his chair. “To what do I owe this pleasure?”
I lean against the doorframe. “Remember that thing you got for me?”
“I thought you said that was Plan B.”
“Well, Plan A might have gotten messed up.”
“What’s going on with you two anyway? One minute, you’re all over each other, the next, she’s avoiding you like the plague.”
I clench my jaw. “We made progress.”
“So you’re together?”
“Are you gonna give me the key or not?”
He rummages through his desk drawer and tosses me a small silver key. “Here.”
I catch it, the metal cool against my palm. “Thanks, man. I owe you one. ”
Connor snorts. “Yeah, add it to the list.”
I make my way outside, my breath forming small clouds in front of me. It’s late enough that the party inside has died down to a dull roar, but the campus is far from silent. Music and laughter echo from the surrounding dorms and frat houses.
But I’m not interested in any of that. There’s only one place I want to be right now.
Lil’s dorm isn’t far, just across the quad. I move quickly, keeping to the shadows. Can’t have any nosy RAs catching me slipping in this late. I want my girl back where she belongs. In my arms.
She has ruined me for anyone else. I don’t want easy, simple, or casual. I want her. I want everything that comes with her for as long as she’ll give it.
Forever.
The lock to her dorm clicks open. Thanks to Connor. I slip inside and close the door softly behind me.
The suite is dark except for a sliver of light peeking from under one of the bedroom doors.
I turn the knob to hers, slowly pushing the door open enough to slither inside. The room is bathed in moonlight, shadows playing across the walls.
And there she is. My Lil. Curled on her side, tangled in her sheets, wearing only a shirt and slip. The shirt barely covers her ass, slipping up to reveal smooth, creamy skin. It takes all my self-control not to touch her right away .
But what stops me is Lil tossing and turning in her sleep. Her face contorts, her body twisting in the sheets as if fighting off some invisible demon. A nightmare, no doubt.
Does she see the same demon as me?
I ache to wake her, to have her in my arms and soothe away whatever terrors plague her dreams. But a darker part wants to let it play out. To see her vulnerable, stripped bare of all her daytime defenses.
Because this is the real Lil. The one she tries so desperately to hide behind forced smiles, nervous laughter, and books. The broken girl beneath the beautiful facade.
She doesn’t have to hide from me. I was with her at her worst. I’d kill for her.
My eyes drink her in, committing every detail to memory. The way her shirt rides up, exposing the gentle curve of her waist. The rapid rise and fall of her chest, like a frightened bird. The almost imperceptible whimpers that escape her parted lips.
Lips I’ve tasted. Lips I crave so much that it scares me sometimes.
I take a step closer, my hand tracing her collarbone. She flinches at my touch, a soft cry slipping out.
Fuck. I shouldn’t be here. I shouldn’t be seeing her like this without her permission.
But I can’t look away. Can’t bring myself to leave her alone with her demons .
Because I know those demons. They’ve haunted my own dreams and turned my nights into waking nightmares that leave me shaken and raw.
And maybe that’s why I’m drawn to her. Why I can’t stay away, no matter how many times she tries to deny me.
Like she’s the missing piece I’ve been searching for all my life.
Or maybe I’m a fool. A hopeless, lovesick fool chasing after a girl who’s far too good for me.
Lil tosses and turns again, whimpering softly.
Kneeling beside her, I brush the hair from her face. “Wake up, princess. It’s just a dream.”
But she’s not reacting, still frowning and her breathing becoming quicker.
Gently, I pin her hands above her head. The second I cage her in with my body, she gasps, eyes flying open as she struggles against my hold.
“Shh, it’s me,” I say.
Her gaze is unfocused, darting around the room and then back on me.
“Sebastian? What—How did you? Is this real? Am I still dreaming?” She blinks.
“You dream about me?”
Her full red lips part slightly. Fuck. Focus. But damn, she looks irresistible like this. The heat of her body seeps into mine, and the sensation is both intoxicating and maddening, leaving me torn between wanting to pull her even closer and needing to give her space .
“It’s real, princess.” I brush my lips over hers, and she relaxes. “I’m really here.”
She lets out a soft sigh, melting against me as we kiss. Slow and unhurried. I deepen the kiss, sliding my tongue along her full bottom lip until her lips part with a soft moan.
“Why are you here?” she asks against my lips. “Wait. How did you even get inside?”
“A gentleman never reveals his secret.”
“Breaking in?”
“It wasn’t exactly breaking in.” I shrug, tracing circles on her skin.
“Did Ju let you in?”
“Kind of.” It’s not a lie. Connor probably got the key from her, most likely not with her knowledge.
“Kind of?”
“I couldn’t find Naomi.” My fingers trace patterns on her skin. “So I put Blake in my bed. Gave me another reason to sleep here with you.”
“Blake’s in your bed?” There’s an edge to her voice I don’t like. She shifts beneath me, putting some distance between us. “Why would you put her there?”
I cup her face, running my thumb over her cheek. “She was wasted, Lil. I couldn’t just leave her.”
She looks away, her teeth worrying at her lip. “Right. Of course not.”
Fuck. I can practically hear the gears turning in her head, jumping to all the wrong conclusions. “Hey, look at me.” I tilt her chin up until our eyes meet. “It’s not like that. Blake and I. We’re done. Have been for a while.”
“You can’t sleep here. It’s too small.”
I smirk. “Too small, huh? Guess we’ll just have to get real close then.”
I pull her flush against me, our bodies molding together like two puzzle pieces. She fits perfectly in my arms, like she was made for me.
She squirms. “I’m serious. There’s no room.”
“Oh, I think we can make it work.” I nuzzle her neck, placing a soft kiss just below her ear. “Unless you’re afraid you won’t be able to keep your hands off me.”
She scoffs, but I can feel her pulse quicken beneath my lips. “You’re impossible.”
“Impossibly irresistible, you mean.”
I nip at her earlobe, and she shivers, a breathy little moan escaping her. Fuck, I love the sounds she makes. I want to hear them all night long.
Lil pushes at my chest, but there’s no real force behind it. “Fine, you can stay. But no funny business!”
“Scout’s honor.” I hold up my hand in a mock salute.
“Were you even a boy scout?”
“Nah, but I’m always prepared.” I wink at her suggestively.
She smacks my arm, laughing. “Stop.”
I capture her lips in a kiss, swallowing her laughter. I pour everything I feel for her into that kiss. The need, the want, and the tenderness that scares the shit out of me .
Because this girl? She’s everything.
When we break apart, Lil looks thoroughly kissed and utterly beautiful.
I brush a strand of hair from her face, tucking it behind her ear. “Sorry,” I murmur. “I hope you know there’s nothing between Blake and me. We’ve known each other a long time, and I couldn’t not help her.”
Her gaze softens, her hand coming up to rest on my cheek. “It’s fine. That’s what I like about you. That you’re caring. And you make people… make me feel safe.”
I’ve never wanted to be someone’s safe place before. But for her, I’ll be everything she needs me to.
“That’s all I want.” I turn my head, pressing a kiss to her palm. “Now, how about we get some sleep?”
“W-wouldn’t you like to, uhm, take off your jacket first? And maybe your shoes? It would be uncomfortable, right?”
I sit up, shrugging off my jacket and shirt. “You trying to get me naked, princess?”
She blushes, averting her gaze. “N-no, I just thought you’d be more comfortable…”
“Relax.” I toe off my shoes and slide back into bed beside her, the mattress dipping under my weight.
I gather her in my arms, pulling her flush against my chest, and Lil nuzzles into my neck with a content sigh that sets my blood on fire.
“This okay?” My hands skim down her sides, fingers slipping beneath the hem of her shirt to caress the silky skin underneath .
“Mhmm,” she hums, arching into my touch. “More than okay.”
“Good, because there’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”
She snuggles closer, resting her head on my chest. “Can we talk for a bit?”
“About what?”
She tilts her head, thinking. God, she’s cute. “What’s your family like?”
I tense instinctively. Not the question I was expecting. “Uh, they’re okay. My dad’s a hardass, but he means well. My mom is… a mom, I guess. And you know Gemma already.”
She studies me closely. Too closely. “You’re not that close to them?”
I shrug, trying to keep my tone casual despite the way my gut clenches at the question. “We’re close enough, I guess. Just different priorities.”
“What kind of priorities?”
I look up at the ceiling as I try to find the right words. “My dad… he’s always pushing me to be perfect. The perfect son, the perfect athlete, the perfect student. It’s like nothing I do is ever good enough for him, and I would just like to live my life for once.”
“I’m sorry.”
“It is what it is. I’m used to it by now.”
“You shouldn’t have to be used to it. You’re amazing just as you are.” Her thumb brushes over the stubble on my chin. “ You’re the star quarterback, you get good grades, you’re kind and funny, and…”
“You think I’m amazing, huh?”
“Maybe.” She ducks her head, hiding her face against my chest. “Have you ever told him how you feel?”
I scoff. “Are you kidding? My dad’s not exactly the touchy-feely type. He’d probably just tell me to suck it up and stop being a pussy.”
“That’s not fair.”
“Welcome to my family.”
“Maybe you should still try.”
“I’ll think about it.” I grab her wrist, placing a soft kiss on the cut on her palm. “Will you tell me about your nightmares?”
Her body goes rigid.