Chapter 19
Nineteen
Silas
T he rhythmic tapping of my fingers on the glass tabletop is the only sound in the surveillance room, a stark contrast to the silent hum of technology that surrounds us. Screens cast a blue glow over the faces of my team, their expressions set in grim lines as they sift through the mountains of data we've collected on The Syndicate.
We normally never work here at my place, but I don’t want to leave Hallie any more than I have to. And since I built this war room with everything we’d need for situations like this, it makes sense to use it occasionally.
“Anything?” My voice slices through the quiet, demanding an answer.
“Nothing concrete yet, Si.” Cain's response is terse, his focus unwavering as he scrutinizes lines of financial transactions scrolling down his screen.
“Keep digging.” I'm prowling now, the predator within clawing beneath my skin. “We're looking for a needle in a haystack, but it’s there.”
“Si, what are we hoping to find exactly?” asks Jet, his tone threaded with exhaustion. “We've been at this for hours.”
“Connections, patterns, anything that ties Teddy to these bastards.” The words are like shards of glass in my throat. I pause behind Cain's chair, leaning down to study his screen more closely.
“Here.” I point to a series of offshore accounts. “Cross-reference these with Teddy's known associates.”
“Got it,” he confirms, her fingers flying across the keyboard.
“Jet's right,” I say to the room, steel in my tone. “We've combed through this data all night, but we haven't drilled deep enough.”
“Silas.” Hallie's voice, a gentle touch against the harshness of my own, pulls me back. She stands in the doorway, her eyes seeking mine.
“Hey,” I say softly, crossing the room to where she waits, out of place amidst the cold tech and hard edges. Her presence is a vivid reminder of what's at stake—of why we cannot fail.
“You almost done for the night?” She wraps her arms around herself, a shield against the chill of the room or perhaps the darkness of our task.
“Getting closer.” It's all I can offer her, a slender thread of hope.
“Okay.” Her nod is slight, but I know she wants to say more.
“I’ll be right back, guys.”
Grabbing Hallie’s hand, I pull her down the hall and through the penthouse to my bedroom. We’ve been sleeping in the room I gave to her, mostly because I wanted her to have her own space. Only when it came down to it, I couldn’t leave her the fuck alone and ended up with her almost every night anyway.
This is the first time she’s been in my room. I shut the door behind us and lock it.
My eyes flick over every inch of her as she stands there, taking in the unfamiliar surroundings. Her large doe-like eyes drift from the king-sized canopy bed with its black sheets, through the shutters that blocked out the city street lights, and finally rested on me.
I take Hallie's hands in mine, drawing her close. Our eyes meet and an unspoken understanding passes between us. This waiting, this uncertainty, is slowly unraveling us both.
“Talk to me,” I say gently.
She hesitates, chewing her bottom lip. “I just . . . I need you to promise me something.”
My chest tightens. “Anything.”
“When you find out who did this, who . . . who killed Teddy.” Her voice breaks over his name. She takes a shuddering breath before continuing. “Promise me you won't do anything reckless. No retaliation, no vengeance. Not until we know everything.”
Her words sink like stones in my gut. She knows me too well, knows the savage instinct that lives within, straining against its leash.
But there’s still so much she doesn’t know.
“Hallie . . . ”
“What is it?” she asks, a hint of uncertainty in her voice.
I take her hand in mine, intertwining our fingers together as I lead her back to the bed.
“Silas, what's going on?”
I take a deep breath, my chest heaving as I struggled to find the right words. “There's something I need to tell you, Hallie.”
Her eyes widened in alarm, but she remained silent, waiting for me to continue.
I take a deep breath, steeling myself for the confession I know I must make.
Hallie's brow furrows, her eyes searching my face. “What is it?”
I squeeze my eyes shut for a brief moment, wishing there was any other way. But she has to know the truth.
“I . . . I'm the one who killed Teddy.”
Her sharp intake of breath feels like a knife twisting in my chest. I force myself to meet her shocked gaze.
“What?” she whispers. “How . . . how is that possible?”
“It was a job,” I reply hoarsely. “Before I knew you. A client contracted us to take him out. That’s how I noticed you in the first place. How I came to . . . fall . . . for you.”
Hallie shakes her head in disbelief, her eyes welling. “No. No, you're lying. You have to be lying.”
“I wish I was.” I reach for her but she recoils, a wounded animal poised to flee. I ignore the way it feels like my heart was just stabbed with my favorite knife.
“You’ve been working for . . . for them? For the Syndicate this whole time?”
“No. No. I didn’t know they were the ones who put the hit on Teddy and I had no idea why. I thought it was just an everyday job.”
She gasps and I realize my words sound callous.
“Shit, baby. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry that I caused you all that pain. But if I had any idea it was deeper, that it would put you in danger, I never would have done it.”
Hallie stumbles back, putting distance between us as she struggles to process my words.
“You killed him,” she whispers, her voice breaking. “You ended his life and lied to me about it.”
I reach for her but she recoils from my touch. “Hallie, please . . . ”
“Don't.” There's fire in her eyes now beneath the sheen of tears. “How could you not tell me?”
Shame burns through me. “I wanted to protect you from the truth.”
“Protect me?” Her laugh is brittle. “I spent months mourning him and feeling guilt over the fact that I didn’t really know him, that I hadn’t somehow known he was an addict. And the whole time, it was all a lie.”
She turns away, shoulders trembling. The weight of her pain lands like a physical blow.
I move slowly, gently wrapping my arms around her from behind. She tenses but doesn't pull away.
“I know there's nothing I can say to make this right,” I rasp.
Hallie stands rigid in my arms, the revelation of my involvement in Teddy's death hanging heavy between us. I desperately wish I could rewind time and make different choices, but the damage is already done.
“Let go of me,” Hallie says, her voice ice cold. She wrenches out of my embrace and whirls to face me, eyes blazing. “How could you keep this from me? I trusted you!”
I hold up my hands helplessly. “I wanted to tell you sooner. But I was afraid of losing you. I . . . I love you, Hallie.”
She scoffs bitterly. “Love? Is that what you call deception and murder?”
I flinch at the accusation in her words. “You know that’s what I do. It wasn’t personal. I’m sorry it was someone you cared for, I’m sorry you were hurt by it, but it was my job.”
Hallie shakes her head and turns away again, shoulders trembling with quiet sobs. I stand frozen, my heart fracturing at the display of anguish.
I know nothing I say can justify what I've done. But I have to try and make her understand why I couldn't tell her the truth until now.
Gently, I place my hands on her shoulders. “Hallie, please look at me.”
After a long moment, she lifts her head, eyes shimmering with hurt and betrayal.
“I was afraid if you knew, you would hate me,” I say hoarsely. “I thought I could protect you from that pain, even though it meant living with the lie. I thought it was the only way to keep you safe.”
“Yeah, well I do hate you.”
“What?”
She pushes me. Actually pushes me, and I let her.
“I said I fucking hate you.”
She pushes me again and I take it. Soon, she’s slapping her hands against my chest, sobbing angrily. She’s letting out all of her emotions, too many for one woman to keep inside her, so I stay still and take every blow.
“I hate you. I hate you, Silas. I fucking hate you.”
I gently catch her wrists, stopping her barrage of hits. Her tear-streaked face twists in sorrow and rage before she collapses against me, spent.
I pull her shirt over her head and push her shorts down, then lift her into my arms and carry her to the bed. I quickly take off my own clothes, kicking off my jeans and climbing on top of her.
I don’t take time to tease or taste. No, I need to be inside her as fast as possible. I rip her thong to the side and shove my cock in, fast and deep. She cries out at the intrusion and that makes me swell even harder.
“Let me tell you how this is gonna go, angel.” I start thrusting into her with a punishing pace. “You can say you hate me all you want. You can push me and slap me and hit me. I don’t give a shit about that, and I can take it.”
“Fuck you,” she says, her face torn between defiance and arousal.
“Yes exactly, baby. Fuck me. You’re going to always fuck me. Whenever I want it. Whenever I decide that it’s what you need. Like right now. You’re angry. You’re hurt. You want to rage. I get that, and I let you do that. But you’re going to get your pussy stuffed with my cock because that’s what you really need.”
I lean down to bite her neck, then soothe it with my tongue.
“Isn’t it, baby? You need this cock.”
She doesn’t answer, but can’t stop herself from moaning. I fuck her harder.
“Answer me baby.”
“Yes.”
“Yes what?”
“Yes, I need your cock.”
“That’s it,” I groan, hammering into her as she arches her hips to meet my thrusts. Her wetness coats my shaft, her nails dig into my back as she succumbs to the sensations coursing through her body. “You can hate me all you want, but you still crave this.”
Hallie's only response was a broken moan, her face contorting with the building pleasure. I knew her like no one else, knew how to make her body sing, and I would use that knowledge to rebuild the trust I'd shattered.
“Say it again,” I growled, thrusting even deeper. “Say you need my cock.”
“God, yes,” she gasped, her eyes squeezing shut. “I need your cock.”
I continue to pound into her, our bodies slapping together as I give her exactly what she needs. To be taken, to be possessed. To be claimed. I grip her hair, angling her head back so I can see the passionate expression on her face.
“Do. You. Hate. Me?” I growl, thrusting into her in time with every word.
“No,” she moans, her eyes clenching tight as the first waves of her orgasm start to ripple through her. “God, no! I don't hate you!”
“Good,” I grit out, my own climax barreling towards me. “Because I'm fucking never letting you go.”
Coated in her orgasm, I pull out, flipping her onto her stomach, and shove a saliva-drenched finger into her tight ass. I've always wanted to do this to her and now, with her trust already shattered and her emotions raw, it seems like the perfect time.
“I'm going to fuck you here, too,” I growl in her ear, gripping her hips hard, lining up my cock, and slamming myself deep inside her untouched hole. Hallie cries out in a mixture of shock and pleasure.
“Oh God, Silas,” she pants, arching her back against me.
I slam into her even harder, taking her like I've always wanted to. This is what she needs, what she really needs. Someone to take control. Someone to make her forget the world outside these four walls.
“You love this, don’t you? The pleasure and the pain. Am I the first to fuck your ass, angel?”
“Yes. Yes!”
As I slam into her tight hole, I revel in her screams. I grip her hips, holding her in place as I pound into her relentlessly. Her body constricts around me, her unique heat and tightness sending bolts of pleasure through my own. The heady combination of her submission and the knowledge that I'm the first to take her this way intoxicates me.
“You're mine,” I growl in her ear, my voice rough with lust and possession. “You've always been mine, and you'll always be mine.”
“Yes . . . ” Hallie moans, her voice a delicious mixture of agony and ecstasy. “Yours, Silas. I'm yours.”
Her admission sets me off, and I explode deep inside her, groaning her name as a primal growl.