Chapter 6
Chapter Six
Clover
I didn’t realize how little Elijah had to do with my family until we arrived at Poppy and Jensen’s place. My stomach flipped over and over. Would Van like them? He hadn’t said much at the wedding, and well, that whole situation was different.
Van was driving, but he gestured to the back where I stashed the tote with my pudding dessert, a cookie salad. “I threw some pretzels in there if your stomach is giving you trouble.”
My insides turned all gooey. I munched on pretzels when I couldn’t handle a heavier breakfast in the morning. “My stomach is calming down, but thanks.”
He parked by Alder’s pickup off the driveway, and by the time I climbed out, he was grabbing the tote. I waited for him to hand it off to me, but he gestured for me to lead the way.
When we turned, Jensen’s son, Auggie, waited for us. He dribbled a ball between each foot and studied Van. “Do you play soccer?”
“It’s been a long time, but I used to,” Van said.
Auggie’s face lit up. “You’re on my team. Poppy!” He sprinted toward the garage. “I found another player!”
“My sister used to play soccer, and now she coaches his team,” I explained.
“I played in high school until I hurt my knee.”
Concern shot through me. “You don’t have to play—”
“It’s fine. But thanks. For thinking of me.”
I nodded, but my insides were in tangles.
Whenever I did something nice, he either shut down or seemed astonished.
This was another manifestation of the loneliness I had seen in Elijah.
My ex might’ve gotten the most attention from their parents, but it hadn’t been enough, and he’d likely been pitted against Van from the beginning. Which must’ve left Van isolated.
I led him to the shop. Its doors were thrown open, and Jensen was stationed outside, manning the grill.
“Hey, Clover.” Jensen waved a metal spatula. “Did you bring the cookie salad?”
“You know I did.”
He grinned and nodded at Van. “Glad you could make it. The food table’s inside. I’ll have the first batch of burgers in a minute.”
Van glanced at the gathering of my siblings on the concrete pad in front of the shop and tensed.
“I’ll go with you.” I started walking.
My brothers and sisters and their spouses greeted us as we approached.
Alder propped open two coolers. “This one is the pregnant-woman-friendly one.” He grinned at Van. “And this is for the rest of us.”
After I had my lemonade and Van took a beer from a local brewery Stetson’s sister ran, we joined the crowd. Kids ran around on the grass. Daisy’s daughter kicked the ball back and forth with Auggie, and Violet and Evander’s oldest tried to keep up.
Alder shook Van’s hand. “Hear you got a mower now.”
Van glanced at me, as if a part of him was still waiting for us to give him a hard time for needing help. “Yeah, I got it started. Needs new blades, though.”
I trusted my family with Van. They might be protective of me, but they weren’t jackasses just because they could be.
While they talked small engines and ordering parts, I let Poppy tow me into the shop.
I caught Van’s eye and raised a brow. A silent will you be okay? He gave me the slightest of nods.
“Are you telling me a secret?” I asked her. We were surrounded by cabinet samples and scraps. Jensen’s desk was farther inside, but he always opened the shop for family gatherings.
Violet joined us, tugging Daisy with her.
“We want the details.” Poppy crossed her arms over her gray Casper, Wyoming, sweater. Her curly hair was gathered in a bun. Mine was the same shade but with looser curls. “What’s he like? What’s living with him like? Do you feel safe?”
“Geez, Poppy.” I laughed and sought out Van again. His guarded gaze connected with mine, and that familiar sizzle streamed between us.
The poor guy was surrounded like me. Evander was on the edge of the group, beer in hand, keeping an eye on the kids, but his presence wasn’t exactly calming.
Violet and her husband were perfect together, but they looked like opposites.
She was a serious chemist, quiet but bossy as the oldest sister.
He was a gruff man who lived in cargo pants and worn T-shirts that only showed how muscular he was.
Then there was Alder and his intimidating CEO attitude. I would trust Jensen to put Van at ease, but if Poppy said the word, Jensen would likely turn into a giant dick. Same with Lily’s husband, Eliot. The easygoing cowboy would turn into a prick. They had my back, but who had Van’s?
Please don’t scare Van away. I needed him for two and a half months yet. After that… Well, I didn’t really want to think about it.
“So, it’s like that,” Poppy muttered, and the rest of my sisters nodded their heads.
I scowled at each of them. “Like what?”
“You like your husband.” Violet wasn’t asking.
“No, it’s not. Yes, I’m safe with him.” I snorted. “Trust me, he’s not interested.”
Violet scooted to the side so her back was to Van. “You think that man gives you uninterested looks?”
Poppy kicked a hip out. “Mm-hmm.”
“Yes?” I gave them a hello? look. “I’m having his brother’s baby.”
“I’m not one to talk,” Lily said as if I hadn’t spoken, “because I didn’t know my husband either when I married him, but Eliot did not look at me that way.”
“Yes, he did,” Violet said.
“Not as intense,” Poppy agreed. “But Eliot was very much interested; he just wasn’t as brooding.”
“Eliot could work a crowd.” Violet peeked over her shoulder. “Van looks like he’s in a zoo, and we’re all the animals.”
That part made sense. “His family is not close. They’re pretty awful, actually,” I said quietly, and it struck me.
This was the first time I was admitting that to them.
My sisters were my best friends, and I hadn’t told them.
They would’ve recommended I never speak to my almost in-laws again, and I hadn’t been ready to hear it. “I’m sure this is…new…for him.”
Deep laughter reached us from all the guys. Eliot’s hands were flying. He must be the one telling the story.
“Your husband seems to be doing just fine,” Daisy said. “This group has a way of making everyone feel welcome.”
“Aw.” Poppy pulled her in for a quick, one-armed hug.
Daisy hunched her shoulders, but she smiled.
The woman acted like she never knew what to do with being touched, but she never seemed to mind beyond her own awkwardness.
Of course, that was absent when it was Alder grabbing her hand or pulling her in for an embrace.
“You’re one of us. That’s why it’s easy. ”
“I’m glad to be one of you again,” Daisy said softly.
Poppy turned back to me. Damn. She hadn’t forgotten about her interrogation. “Are you really telling me that you and Van haven’t, you know…”
“Poppy! No. You know it’s not like that.”
Daisy shook her head, and I gave her a quizzical look. She blinked her owlish eyes. “Sorry. It’s just that you two remind me of…me. You’re, like, super aware of each other and worried about what the other thinks of you.”
Did I like that insight? The answer wasn’t critical right now. “He’s becoming a friend. He’s thoughtful and easygoing. A total opposite from his brother. And he doesn’t try anything creepy in bed.”
Four pairs of eyes blinked at me.
“What?” I touched my cheeks. Was something on my face?
“You two sleep together?” Lily whispered.
Oh. That. Warmth infused my cheeks. “Not like that. We share a bed. It’s only a two-bedroom home, and we both need a place to work.”
“So you don’t share an office, but you share a mattress?” Poppy’s brows were at her hairline. “You hussy.”
“Stop it,” I whispered with a hiss. “It’s not like that.”
Poppy shrugged. “Maybe it should be.”
Violet coughed out a laugh.
I shot her a glare. “Unlike you, I’m not pregnant with his baby. Why would he want me?”
“I’m not going to pretend the why doesn’t matter,” Poppy said. “But he does want you. We established that.”
Frustrated, I had to finish this conversation.
I didn’t come to get reminded that I was living with an attractive man who kept his distance while we lived in the same house and slept in the same bed.
“Say he’s interested? He doesn’t want to be, and that’s not good enough for me.
Elijah was going to marry me, and I wasn’t enough for him. ”
Violet wrinkled her nose as if saying my ex’s name was enough to cause a stench to rise up. “That situation had nothing to do with you. That was all your loser ex.”
“Exactly.” I swallowed down the burn in my throat. “I picked that loser. What does that say about me? Van doesn’t have a choice but to be related to him, but I was going to walk down the aisle with the guy.”
I had been so happy, I would’ve sprinted to that altar.
Lily patted my back. “I know it feels that way, but it’s not you. And when you meet the right guy, he’ll show you that we’re right.”
Envy ripped through me so strong and fast, my world spun. I wanted what she had. I wanted what all my sisters had. A man who was dedicated to them, to their family. A guy who acted like they were the most valuable and desirable thing in the world. A partner who was my own.
I was thirty-four. I thought I’d be in their shoes by now.
When I met Elijah, I thought my chances were slipping by, like sand in an hourglass, only there would be no flipping over to start again.
I was destined to be the fun aunt. The aunt who took her nieces and nephews on walks and chattered about the shale we passed.
The one who explained how the Badlands ended up with the multicolored striations.
That was fine, but it wasn’t all I wanted, and I was tired of settling.
I might not be getting a real husband, and in a little over two months, it would be like I was never married at all.
Van